Finding Bluefield (16 page)

“I think it was a Buick, but it was big and round like this with that great backseat. We had a lot of fun in that backseat. Mike wasn’t my first, but he was my best, though I think the car had something to do with it. Sometimes I think that’s why I married him.”

“Tommy Baines,” Nicky said. She thought this was a good time to spread some gossip about herself. And it was even true. “He was the captain of the basketball team and he used to pick me up in his dad’s Buick. I remember that backseat. Maybe that’s why I bought this car.”

“Mike was captain of the baseball team. I was a cheerleader. We were kind of a classic story. If the team had voted for another captain, who knows who I would have married.”

Nicky laughed. “Like Susan’s joke about the mayor?”

“Tell me.”

“I won’t tell it right.”

“Tell it anyway.”

“The mayor and his wife are walking through town and they pass a construction site. One of the workers says hello to the wife. They keep walking, and after a while the mayor asks his wife who the man was. Before I met you, she tells her husband, I went out with him and he asked me to marry him. The mayor said, see, if you hadn’t married me, you’d be the wife of a construction worker. Not so, said the wife. If I had married him, he’d be the mayor.”

Diane laughed loudly. “That’s very funny. Jews are funny. I never met a Jew in person before Susan.”

“You’ve been dating Mike since high school?” Nicky asked.

“When Mike went to college, we split up. He had a baseball scholarship. Then he had an accident with his hand and couldn’t pitch any more so he lost his scholarship and couldn’t pay for school so he returned home.”

“That’s too bad. Was he good?”

“Yeah. At least it kept him out of the army. Anyway, I dated a few guys after Mike. Some steady, but none serious. A few years later, we ran into each other again. I didn’t even know he was back in town. The rest is history.”

Three bathroom stops and two snacks later, the kids fell asleep.

“Are you noticing how many more cars there are here?” Nicky said to Diane in the Catskill Mountains. “I don’t like it.”

“I’ll see if I can get a local station.” Diane spun the dial.

Finally, Nicky had to bring the Chevy to a standstill. She stood on her seat to get a better look. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t want to get stuck.” She slid down back into her seat, turned the car around, and drove the wrong direction on the shoulder until she found a break in the cornfield and turned again. The car disappeared into the stalks.

“This is wild. I’ve never been inside a corn field,” Diane said.

“I grew up in this. There’s always a way to another road.”

Nicky followed the path till it came out by a barn. Across from the barn, some children were playing on a tire swing. Nicky waved and drove down the driveway to the road. When she came to town, she pulled into a gas station.

“I hope you’re not heading east,” the attendant said.

“Why’s that?” Nicky said.

“It’s all over the radio. Too many hippies trying to go up to that farm. You can’t even get near the damn place. They shut the thruway. People are staying wherever they can, camping out in fields, pitching tents on people’s lawns. They better not be heading this way. No siree, Bob,” he said, wiping his hands on a rag. “I was in-country and proud of it. Protecting their asses and then they come here and spit in my face.” He removed the hose and secured Nicky’s gas cap. “Not like I ain’t ever shot no one either.” The man looked at Paul, who was awake and listening, and stopped talking. “I’m sorry to be going on like this in front of the kids. How old are you, son?”

“Five,” Paul said, holding up his right hand.

The attendant was surprised and pleased to see Paul offer his hand. He took it and shook it. “I bet your father’s proud of you.”

“He died in the war. He’s a hero,” Paul said.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The attendant looked at Nicky. “Who was he with?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Nicky said, nodding toward Paul. She held out her money.

“He was a marine,” Paul said.

“That’s enough,” Nicky said to Paul. She held out her money to pay.

“Keep your money,” he said.

Nicky looked confused.

“You have enough to deal with, raising a boy without his father. I know the benefits aren’t what they should be.”

Nicky tried again to pay him. The attendant stepped back. “Put it away. Use it for your boy. You can pay me by making sure your boy never forgets his father,” he said.

Nicky wanted to pay the man, but she really didn’t want to continue the conversation. “We should get going,” she said and started the engine.

“Where’re you heading?”

“Medford,” Diane said.

He gave Nicky some back road directions to avoid the traffic and she shifted into first and eased the car out of the station.

“He liked you.” Diane laughed.

“I don’t think so.”

“Is that true about Paul’s dad?” Diane said.

“No,” Nicky said. She hoped that Diane would not pursue it. “Who’s hungry?” she asked the kids.

“I am,” came the call from the backseat.

“They haven’t stopped eating the whole trip,” Diane said.

“I know a great place for lunch. Lake Minospa. We’re not too far and it’s on the way home.”

“Sounds good,” Diane said. “I’m getting hungry and I’m in no hurry to get home.”

Twenty minutes later, Nicky parked the car and shut the engine.

Diane stood and stretched. She was several inches taller than Nicky, and her short jean cutoffs made her look even taller. “That’s a gorgeous lake. Maybe we can go for a swim after we eat.”

“I could use a swim.”

“How did you find this place?” Diane said. She lifted Mary out of the backseat.

“Barbara and I came here in the spring.”

“Just the two of you?”

“And Paul.”

“You and Barbara do a lot together. It’s nice you have someone to help with Paul. I don’t know what I’d do if Mike and I didn’t have all our family around.”

Nicky opened the trunk. “Do you want your stroller?”

“Let me get it,” Diane said.

The restaurant was crowded, but Nicky and Diane decided to wait for a table on the outside deck. While they waited, Diane suggested staying for the weekend.

“I was beginning to get depressed about going back home,” Nicky said.

“We’re both free for the weekend. You said you wanted to get away. We’re away.”

“I doubt they have any rooms,” Nicky said.

“Wait here with the kids and I’ll go see.”

Nicky lit a cigarette and took the rubber band out of her hair. She could see a canoe making circles in the middle of the lake and some families playing on the shore. She shook out her hair. Diane came back with two keys.

“They had one room left for two nights, so I took it. The weekend is booked, but at least we don’t have to go home right away.” She was holding drinks. “I stopped at the bar and got us margaritas to toast our good fortune.” She handed one glass to Nicky and raised her own. “To vacations,” she said, and touched Nicky’s glass. She drank greedily. “This is good. I’m going to like it here.”

After lunch, where Diane had more margaritas, they went to the lake and spent a lazy afternoon. The kids were happy to be out of the car, and Nicky was happy to be away from home. During dinner, Diane continued drinking margaritas. Later, Paul and Mary fell asleep watching TV while Nicky and Diane got involved in a game of gin rummy. Diane got a bottle of wine from her suitcase.

The next morning after breakfast, Nicky and Diane took the kids back down to the lake. Diane removed her beach cover and asked Nicky to oil her back. Nicky was surprised at how revealing Diane’s bikini was.

“I’m ready for some serious tanning,” Diane said. She pushed the straps off her shoulder.

“I’m ready for a swim across the lake,” Nicky said. She felt like a prude in her one-piece racing suit.

“You go. I’ll watch the kids. As long as they don’t block my sun, I’m happy.”

Nicky walked into the lake. It was warmer than she expected and she quickly submerged herself. As she came up, her body began the familiar rhythm of kicking, stroking, and breathing. She was enjoying the lack of sound, the singularity of purpose. It was good to get away, even if she didn’t know what she was getting away from or getting to. Paul would be off to school in a few weeks. Barbara had wanted to send Paul to the lab school at the university. In the end, they settled for the neighborhood school where Josh was going.

But what about me, Nicky wondered as she stroked her body through the water. Barbara’s been in career heaven since she left the hospital and joined a practice. What am I going to do for the next thirteen years while Paul is in school? I’ve turned into a housewife without even knowing it. Maybe I should go to college. Susan has three kids; that’s a full-time job. Barbara thinks I should get a job, get out into the world. She’s probably right, but I don’t want to miss out on Paul. Besides, what would I do? Get a job cooking in a diner? Start my own restaurant? Open a pie shop?

Nicky reached the far side and turned back toward shore. To stop her thoughts, she increased her speed and raced back. She was breathing hard as she stood in the water. She rubbed her face and squeezed her hair. Two guys were sitting on a towel next to Diane.

“You’re a fine swimmer,” one of them said.

“Nicky,” Diane said, “this is Todd and Bart. They were also trying to get to the concert and ended up staying here.”

Both Todd and Bart were wearing cutoff jean shorts and had their hair tied back. Todd taught political science at NYU; Bart taught English Lit at CCNY. Nicky was wondering what Diane was up to when Todd reached into his bag and pulled out a joint, lit it, and passed it to Diane. Nicky lit a cigarette and passed on the joint when Diane offered it to her.

“Try some,” Bart said. “Don’t be a downer.”

“Really?” Nicky said. “That’s the best an English professor can come up with? A downer.”

“You’ve never tried any?” Todd asked.

“I’m allergic.” This is funny, Nicky thought, I’m the most conservative one here, and I’m the lesbian. But it wasn’t the pot; it was Paul. Nicky never did anything that would give someone reason to consider her an unfit mother.

When Todd and Bart went for a swim, Diane came over to Nicky. “Aren’t they cute?” she said.

“Very.”

“If you want to fool around with one of them, I’ll watch Paul. Guys that age lack experience, but they sure got stamina.”

“Are you serious?” Nicky said.

“Why not?” Diane looked confused. “You won’t see them again, and you’ll have some fun. You do that at home and everyone will know. I’d think about it myself if Mary wasn’t here. That Bart has a great body.”

Nicky relaxed and smiled. This makes sense. Diane thinks I’m single and she thinks I’m straight, she reminded herself. “They’re not my type,” Nicky said. At least I’m not lying, she thought.

“I think it’s cute. They’re such boys. Oh well, what a waste. Maybe I’ll let them go up to the inn and bring back some of those delicious margaritas. May as well get something out of all their attention.”

Todd and Bart spent the afternoon with them, drinking, singing, and smoking. Nicky played along with their flirting games, following Diane’s lead, though she didn’t let them oil her back. By dinnertime, the guys were ready for more serious action and drove off to town in search of a bar. Nicky and Diane put the kids to sleep and sat on the porch outside their rooms. Diane uncorked a bottle of wine and poured them each a glass.

“It’s none of my business,” Diane said, “but you ought to date a little. You’re still young and you certainly still have your looks.”

“Being a mother is enough for me right now.”

“What happened to Paul’s father?” Diane said.

“It’s something I don’t talk about.”

“Okay, I’m curious, but I won’t be nosy. But I still think you should date some. It’ll do you a world of good.”

Nicky was glad when Diane tired early and went to sleep. She called Barbara and told her they would be back by dinner. The next morning they packed up after breakfast and drove home along the back roads, stopping at antique stores. Diane was as enthusiastic about shopping as she was about Bart and Todd, which made the ride home very pleasant.

*

When Barbara arrived home that evening, Nicky was in the den watching news footage from Woodstock. She was sorry she hadn’t made it all the way there, but it didn’t look like a place for Paul. Barbara sat next to her and gave her a long kiss.

“How was the lake?” Barbara said.

“It was great to get away,” Nicky said. “I feel revived. There’s something to be said for exploring. For seeing new places, new people, new experiences.”

“What was it like traveling with Diane?”

“That was interesting. She’s wild. She tried to fix me up with these young college teachers. They hung around us all day smoking pot and drinking.”

“You smoked pot?”