Finals (26 page)

Hayley wasn’t much for watching television, although her roommates had recently transformed her into a “Gleek
.”
During our brief dating stint, we had started watching season two of my favorite show,
The Office.
In that season finale, Jim kisses the engaged Pam seconds before the credits role; however, the two don’t wind up together until much later in the series.

“
Well, it was a tough decision for Pam but she ended up breaking off her engagement with Roy, basically for Jim. I can only imagine how much easier it would have been for Jim after that breakup since it was obviously clear that Pam had the hots for him. It’s so easier once you have a clear understanding of a person’s feelings,” I said, as joined her near the bed.

Sure, I was being a little hypocritical since I hadn’t spilled my guts either, but the kiss and handholding at Starbucks was initiated by yours truly. Hayley had to have a clue about my mindset regarding our unique circumstance because I wasn’t being nearly as coy.

Clearly picking up on my subtle remark regarding her ineptness toward expressing her affection verbally, she crossed her arms mockingly. “Humph, respectable Catholic girls don’t ever make the first move, that’s the boy’s job.”

Typical. Even in a progressive era such as this, men still had to make the first move. I hated it.

Staring into those crystal clear blue pools, my heart began pounding like I was in the middle of a marathon. I had kissed Hayley tons of times before. I had kissed her last week and in public too, but this moment felt so different.

This brought me back to the Buckley Center, watching as an explosion appeared to extend my streak of homicides. I remember thinking I was simultaneously going to have a heart attack and pee my pants. At any rate in spite of my nervousness, I visited the scene of my crime and thankfully, I was still a free man. As I stood looking down at my Aphrodite, the penetrating come hither glance was in full force. Similar to my reluctant feet, my head refused to bend forward, but I knew it was now or never.

Leaning in, I gently kissed Hayley, her full lips pressing upon mine. My heart continued to beat furiously, but exuberance soon replaced my anxiety. This was what I wanted, and it was freaking awesome.

The tender kisses transformed into
an
intensity unmatched by that first sweet kiss. It was as if we were letting out all of our sexual frustrations in this one heavenly moment as Hayley and I started to attack each other like horny teenagers.

After about two minutes, I lifted the blonde up placing her on the bed, before positioning myself on top of her. As the heated
make out
session continued to intensify, I started to think that I was finally going to be a normal college kid and get to have sex, but as I began to remove my shirt, Hayley said the one word any lascivious man dreads hearing, “Wait.”

“
Great,” I
thought
, reluctantly pulling my shirt back down. This was my punishment for being a psychotic killer, my ghosts of victims past were cockblocking me, preventing me from doing the chitty-chitty bang-bang with this gorgeous creature.

Moving off to the side of the bed, I impatiently waited for Hayley to hit me with whatever was on her mind. I could see there was angst in her expression as she tried to spit the words out.

“
Wayne, I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time now, but I haven’t been able to put in words. I don’t… I mean I just…”

Whatever she was trying to say was stuck firmly on the tip of her tongue. I wasn’t sure if an apology was finally coming or maybe she was having trouble muttering those three little words. Well, that’s what I was hoping she was going to say. I suppose she could say this wasn’t the best idea and that she didn’t feel the same way anymore, but given the tongue tussle that took place seconds ago, that alternative didn’t appear as likely.

“
It’s okay,” I said kindly, softy stroking her hand. “It’s only six and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here Hay, tell me what’s on your mind?”

With her mouth slightly open, I sat
patiently
waiting for a few seconds until an upbeat melody started up from Hayley’s desk. As if pinched on the ass by an invisible pet hermit crab, Hayley flung herself around looking at the clock on her desk.

“
Shit, I completely forgot!” she said, jumping off the bed.

“
What?” I asked, watching as she shut off her cell phone alarm and hastily began putting on her shoes.

“
I was
supposed
to meet Sister Robinson at six to go over the graduation bulletin.”

“
Oh right,” I said, remembering that the junior staff members as well as Sister Robinson were in charge of preparing a final paper for graduating students. Compared to our usual paper, this edition wasn’t much work. One or two faculty members would write an article about this year’s graduating class and their achievements while the rest of the space was used for advertisements or individual acclaims issued by proud parents or St. Elizabeth alumni.

“
I promise the meeting wouldn’t take very long,” Hayley said, sliding her arms in her jacket sleeves. “It will be an hour at the maximum.”

“
How many times have I heard that one before
?”

“
Har har. You can get on my Mac and peruse the web until I return or I’m sure you’re dying to know the secrets to maintain healthy vibrant hair,” she stated, giggling as she pointed toward the open
Glamour
magazine on top of her dresser.

“
Oh yes, because I’m in dire need of helpful styling advice.”

Fully clothed with her small backpack around her shoulders, Hayley sashayed over to the edge of the bed.

“
Please stay Wayne, I need to tell you something,” she said, in a strangely unfamiliar serious tone.

I wasn’t too thrilled by the somber nature in her plea for me to stay, but I honestly had nothing better to do. Plus, this was the perfect hideout. My roommates certainly wouldn’t point the cops to my evil ex’s lair. To them, she was still the scum of the Earth, and in all likelihood, if they knew I was here I’d get bitch-slapped due to my stupidity. Thankfully, none of them knew about this little love relapse, if that’s what you could call it.

“
I’ll find a way to keep myself entertained,” I said. “So don’t worry, I will be here when you return.”

“
Good,” she said in customary peppy voice as she leaned down for a smooch, and with one zealous kiss, she departed speedily, leaving me to ponder my options.

Resting on Hayley’s bed, I closed my eyes taking in that sweet Burberry scent I loved so much. This was great. The whole being here alone aspect wasn’t wonderful, but in general I was happy to be in my ex’s burrow. I was rather curious about the contents of her message. From the pretense of her affirmation for me to stay put, it sounded serious. I didn’t like Hayley being serious. I seriously disliked seriousness, especially in regards to lovey-dovey situations. It’s a given that one person is going to end up feeling awkward. Someone will say, “I love you,” (a phrase one shouldn’t take lightly) or you’ll get one of those cliché breakup lines that are devastating to hear. “You’re too good for me,” or “I think we should just be friends,” or the classic, “It’s not you, it’s me.” All potential relationships killers and all are equally as unpleasant to hear. I guess “I love you” isn’t that bad in comparison to getting kicked in the balls with an “I think we need to take a break.” Actually, hearing “I love you” from Hayley wouldn’t be too bad. In fact, it’d be refreshing to know that I hadn’t gone through all this heartache in vain.

In the middle of daydreaming about Hayley’s imaginary confession of love and whether or not I’d follow up with a reciprocal “I love you,” my pants starting vibrating.

“
Hello?”

“
Hello, Wayne? This is Father O’Connor,” said the priest warmly.

“
Hi
Father. How’s it going?”

“
I’m doing well, my boy. I’m sorry to intrude on your celebration since I’m very much aware that you’ve recently finished your finals, but I was hoping you might pop over for a visit this evening. I wanted to put in my congratulatory two cents to your graduating class with a short article in the paper.”

Since the prospect of skimming through Hayley’s
Glamour
didn’t exactly whip me into a frenzy, I agreed to go visit my favorite priest. Despite the fact that it wasn’t my responsibility to assemble articles for the graduation paper, it gave me something to do while I waited for the blonde to come back with her oh-so-serious message,
and I’m sure Sister Robinson would be pleased to hear about yet another piece going in
The Gazette
’s
final production of the year if I could get it to her in time.

After a quick search, I found Hayley’s massive stash of note cards in one of her desk drawers. I scribbled down “Had to run a quick errand be back soon! ~W” before placing the card neatly on her Mac where she would likely have no trouble finding it.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I
n a somewhat bizarre fashion, Father O’Connor answered the door unshaven wearing a wool cardigan rather than his usual priestly getup. He greeted me with a hearty, “Wayne, my boy,” as per norm as he led us to his home office, a place I had seen only a time or two before. I would have thought this an unusual place to conduct our normal happy-go-lucky conversation if not for
The
Gazette
article that was likely stored on his computer.

The office was a conventional haven for an intellectual such as O’Connor. Like the cheesy line from
Anchorman,
the rich mahogany desk and cabinets reeked of importance and sophistication. The black leather chairs tied in nicely with the wood pieces as did the archetypal photographs of the university taken from decades past. Truthfully, if Ethan Allen were to decorate a custom office for a university professor, this room would likely be the result. Except for a hunky gray Dell computer and printer that sat on the priest’s desk like an eyesore, the room was magnificent.

O’Connor flopped down in the black leather chair as I took a seat on the opposite side of the desk. The priest rubbed his eyes together and exhaled loudly. I guessed that the last few nights of grading finals and calculating totals, in addition to the man’s numerous administrative duties were beginning to take a toll.

“
Looks like you’ve been burning the candle at both ends, Father. At your age, you should know you can’t mix alcohol with all those meds you have,” I said in jest.

“
I apologize if I appear lethargic. I have had a couple of long evenings.”

“
I understand, it’s a busy time for everyone,” I answered.

“
It is, but it’s also an exhilarating one. You’re about to don the infamous St. Elizabeth purple and gold as you receive the diploma you’ve strived to obtain since freshman year. It’s quite an achievement, my boy.”

Most students were jazzed about the prospect of taking the glorious walk up the podium steps to shake the president’s hand and triumphantly pump their arms in the air, degree in hand. It wasn’t as though I wasn’t thrilled to receive my degree, but compared to the hefty amount of unwavering trouble that was still on my plate, this accomplishment was taking a backseat.

“
I suppose graduating is a big feat,” I said, watching as the priest clicked on his mouse a few times, likely trying to get his article to print.

“
It undoubtedly is, my boy!” the priest said, as the printer decided to match the old man’s enthusiasm by making little excited noises as well.

“
I know your main reason for stopping by was to collect this article,” he said passing over his two page printout. “But I was thinking a congratulatory drink is in order as well.”

To my surprise, this man of God opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a bottle of scotch in addition to two clear glasses. I couldn’t help but laugh as my old friend poured the brown substance in the glasses before he pushed one in my direction.

“
Usually I save this for rough days but in this case we’ll make an exception.”

I laughed as our glasses clanked together as a joyous “cheers” followed. I don’t know why I thought this sudden appearance of alcohol was so funny considering the man was Irish after all.

Immediately after taking a swig, I broke into a coughing fit and it was Father O’Connor’s turn to be amused.