Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (35 page)

Even though her words don’t surprise me, they still hit me like a fucking blow to the chest, sucking the goddamn air right out of my lungs. She covers my mouth with her hand before I can react, “Don’t say anything. I don’t want you to say anything back.” She removes her hand from my mouth and leans her forehead against mine. “I just… I needed you to know that I still loved you. I never stopped Jaxson and I never will.”

My heart swells so fucking much that it hurts. So many emotions rage inside of me right now: happiness, fear and most of all self-loathing. I have never hated myself more in my life than I do in this moment. She deserves to hear the words back but I’m too much of a fucking pussy to say them; because the last woman I said ‘I love you’ to, left and never came back.

I let out a heavy breath and shake my head, “I don’t fucking deserve you.”

She grabs the bottom of her tank and pulls it over her head, baring me to the most beautiful site of my life. “Yes you do. You deserve all of me, including my heart.”

I become consumed with the need to touch her and since I can’t say the words I feel, I decide to show her. Running my hands up the sides of her smooth toned stomach I bring them around and cup her full firm breasts, my thumbs brushing over their tight tips.

“Jaxson,” she leans back on straight arms, arching and whimpering my name, the sight and sound of her going straight to my cock.

“You’re so damn beautiful Julia, every fucking perfect inch of you.”

Leaning over her I suck a taut nipple into my mouth, grazing it with my teeth. She gasps and brings one hand to my head, curling her fingers in my hair, while the other one still braces her weight. I cup her other soft mound, pinching and rolling the tight tip with my thumb and forefinger. Her hips raise off the bed, her hot covered center hitting my bare stomach. Intense need rushes through my veins and suddenly this isn’t enough. Needing to give her more I wrap one arm around her lower back and the other on her ass, picking her up I turn us around and fall back on the bed bringing her on top of me. A low growl erupts from my throat when she grinds against my hard cock. Grabbing her hips I inch her further up my stomach until she’s sitting on my chest. She looks down at me nervously and I can tell she isn’t sure what I’m about to do.
Good! It means that fucking ex of hers never did this to her.
I raise my head up and plant a soft kiss to her flat bare stomach, then grabbing the side of her tiny shorts, I rip and shred them from her body. She gasps, grabbing on to my shoulders to steady herself. Her bare pussy is only inches from my face now and I fucking ache to taste her.

Palming her ass I inch her closer, “Come here baby, grab onto the headboard.”

She looks down at me with uncertainty, “What are you going to do?”

I smirk up at her, “You’re going to ride my face while I fuck your sweet pussy with my mouth. “

Her face flames but her eyes shine bright with curiosity and need. She grabs on to the headboard but takes too long to bring herself over my mouth. I inch down until her soft warm thighs are on either side of my head, my mouth coming in direct line with what I crave most. Raising my head I burrow my mouth into her hot wet flesh and groan when her taste explodes on my tongue.

“Oh fuck!” Julia’s pleasured curse shocks the shit out of me and almost makes me come in my fucking pants.

She tangles one hand in my hair while the other one stays braced on the headboard. Her trepidation forgotten, she fucks my mouth with desperation. Her sweet scent penetrates my senses as I work her with my tongue.
Fuck me, she tastes incredible!
I lick and suck her swollen clit, the nub getting harder and firmer against my tongue. Her breath quickens and her movements become more frantic. Knowing she’s close I bring my hand up behind her and coat my fingers with her lube. Then I slam 2 fingers inside her, and that was it, she shattered. Blissful moans leave her mouth, drowning out any remaining silence that’s left in the room. I keep up my rhythm, drinking every last bit of pleasure that spills from her.

Her legs begin to shake as she fights to hold herself up. My hands span her hips but before I can lift her like I planned to, she grabs my wrists stopping me.

Smiling at me seductively she whispers, “Stay right where you are.”

So I do, because I’m in no fucking hurry to move from this spot. As she inches herself back down my body I trail my mouth and kiss every inch of golden skin that passes my face. When her perfect tits come in line with my mouth I lick and nip at one tight tip as it passes. She moans, digging her fingers into my shoulders, my cock jerks from the sting of her nails. Soon she’s kissing her way down my chest, trailing her tongue along the contours of my body. I thread my fingers in her hair as hot need coils low in my stomach. My cock aches for release and I know if I don’t get inside of her soon I’m going to fucking humiliate myself by coming in my pants.

“Baby, as much as I love your mouth on my body if you don’t speed this up, we’re going to be in serious trouble.”

She giggles but thankfully moves with more urgency. Sitting on my thighs she works the button on my jeans and starts lowering them. As soon as my cock springs free, she wraps one warm hand around it and strokes me firmly from base to tip.

“Fuck me!” my hips jerk off the bed as I pump myself into her hand. My dick charged and painfully hard I can’t wait a second longer to get inside her. “Julia baby, I need inside of you, right fucking now.” My hands span her hips bringing her warmth over my dick. Keeping her hand wrapped around me she positions my cock at her entrance and slowly starts to sink down on me. I groan, digging my fingers into her hips.

“Fuck! You’re so hot, so tight.”

Even though it’s only my dick that’s surrounded by her heat, my whole body goes warm, including my heart. Hands braced on my stomach, I watch her as she sinks inch by glorious inch onto my cock.

And Jesus Christ was she a fucking sight.

A light sheen of sweat covers her body, bringing her bronzed skin to a glowing effect. Her long hair tumbles around her bare shoulders, framing her perfect tits. Eyes closed, face tilted up, her expression is soft and sweet.

A goddamn angel that’s what she is.

She moans once she’s fully seated on me, “God, I love how you fill me up.”

Jesus, was she trying to kill me?

Her movements start out slow and unsure; my teeth grind so hard with restraint that my jaw begins to ache. Reaching up I cup both of her tits, her tight nipples scraping along my palms as I caress them.

Moaning, she arches into my hands and her speed picks up as she finds her rhythm.

“Fuck yes, that’s it baby, ride me.”

I jerk my hips up into her, making her gasp, “Oh!”

I smile at her reaction, “You like that?” I jerk my hips up again harder this time.

She whimpers, “I love it. I love everything I do with you. I, I love you.”

My heart swells with a mix of pleasure and pain at her words. I still can’t believe that I was lucky enough to meet this girl. To have her become my best friend and then to become… mine.

She deserves better, she deserves more.

Shooting up, I wrap an arm around her slender back and one at the back of her head, bringing her mouth to mine. Wanting to silence the fucking stupid, but truthful, voice in my head.
Ya I know, I’m a selfish bastard.
I kiss her slow and deep showing her how much she means to me.

This is my favorite place to be in the world, being surrounded by Julia. Her taste, her scent, to be inside of her. I constantly ache for her, body and soul.

We both gasp for breath when I rip my mouth from hers. Keeping my hand on the back of her head I keep her lips close to mine and stare into her seductive eyes, “You own me Julia, every fucking part of me.”

She cups my face affectionately and gives me one of her beautiful smiles. A smile that always tightens my chest and proves to me that the world can be a good place.

“I know,” she responds before placing a tender kiss against my forehead, just like the one I’m always giving to her. Then she’s placing one at the corner of my eye, my cheek, and continues peppering kisses all over my face. My throat feeling tight, I bury my face in her chest. Our bodies stop moving, my cock still seated deep inside of her tight heat, as we hold each other.

As if knowing my vulnerability and thoughts she leans her head down, bringing her mouth close to my ear, “This is right Jaxson, this has always been right. Something that feels this good could never be wrong.”

I close my eyes and swallow past the lump in my throat.
Fuck!
This is starting to be too much for me. Wanting to move on, but not wanting to hurt her by ignoring her words I nod my head and start kissing the swell of her breast. Reaching up I cup both of them and take turns bringing my mouth to each one, sucking and tasting their tight tips. Soon she’s moaning and grinding down on me again, my cock still rock hard.

Laying back down I keep one hand on her breasts and move the other to her hip, helping guide her. I jerk my hips up once, slamming my cock inside of her.

“Oh god!” she leans further over me, bracing her hands on my shoulders for balance. She whimpers and moans, “More, I want more.”

My fucking pleasure.

Giving her what she wants I slam up into her again, her inner muscles fluttering around my cock, “Fuck yes,” I groan.

She has the corner of her lower lip between her teeth, reaching up I tug at it with my thumb. Her tongue darts out, licking my thumb, before she sucks it into her mouth like she would my cock. I growl and fucking lose it. Slamming up inside of her I fuck her hard, like I’ve been dying to. She screams and digs her nails into my shoulder while she fights to hold on to me. My hands span her hips, holding her in place, while I continue my pace, thrusting hard and fast.

She moves her hands lower on to my stomach and braces herself so she can fully sit up. Looking down between our bodies I watch my cock slam into her. Her inner muscles start to flutter around me, loving every hard frantic thrust.

“Give it to me baby. You’re close, I can feel it. I can feel your sweet pussy starting to tighten around my cock.”

She whimpers from my words and her inner muscles clamp down around me. Looking up I watch her shatter, her head falls back and sweet ecstasy spills across her entire face. It’s the most beautiful and erotic sight I’ve ever seen. Fire and pleasure spreading through my body, I follow along with her. Losing a little more of myself as I do.

Afterwards Julia walks out of the bathroom from washing up, looking rumpled and sexy as fuck in my shirt. She stops at the edge of the bed and smiles at me. Sitting up I reach over and haul her on top of me, she laughs and accidentally kicks something off her nightstand.

“Oh crap!” While straddling me she leans over and picks up a framed picture of her and her mom on a ferris wheel at some fair. Laying down on top of me, with her head on my chest, she stares at it.

“Wasn’t she beautiful Jax?” she asks, holding the picture up so we both can look at it.

“Ya,” I hold her a little tighter, “just like you.”

Resting her chin on her fist she smiles up at me, “She would have really loved you.”

I grunt, “Ya I’ll just bet she would have loved the guy that fantasized about all the ways to screw her daughter from the moment he laid eyes on her.”

Giggling she presses a kiss to my chest, then stares at me somberly, “She would have loved my best friend. The guy who helped take my pain away and made me smile again when I thought I never would. The one who watched out for me, protected me…” she goes quiet for a second, then reaching up she cups the side of my face, “I’ve always believed she sent you to me. That night at the graveyard…” I stiffen, rage beginning to simmer in my blood as she brings up that night, “…was the first night I prayed since my mother had died. I was so scared thinking of what they were going to do to me, not knowing if they were going to kill me after. I was sad for Grams, thinking she was going to lose the last family she had left. I started to pray to my mom for help. I prayed so hard for something, anything, to stop what was happening. And then, you showed up and you saved my life, in more ways than one.”

Little does she know it was her who saved me that night, not the other way around.

Leaning up she presses a soft kiss to my mouth. Before she can move away I flip us over so she’s underneath me and kiss her hard, deep and slow. When I pull back we’re both breathing heavily. Sliding my hand up her smooth thigh I grab her hip and rest my forehead against hers, “I’ll always protect you Julia.” And that was the fucking truth. I might not be able to give her everything she deserves, but I am more than capable of giving her that.

She smiles, “I know.” Cupping the back of my neck she brings my mouth to hers again for a quick kiss. Tracing my lips with her finger she looks at me sadly, “Are you going to resent me later for asking you not to go?”

I shake my head, “No baby, it’s not something I have to do, and I wasn’t sure I was going to do it. That’s why I never told you. Seeing you hurt like that,” I shrug, “it just made the decision that I was struggling with easier to make. To be honest I’m surprised as fuck that the Admiral asked us, we’re not his favorite people.”