Fighting Temptation (Bay State Series Book 1) (9 page)

confessions

I've never considered a woman living with me. But I can't bring myself to consider living without her. Honestly, I never believed in that perfect someone being out there for me.

But man was I wrong.

In just the short time I've known her, I know there won't be another for me. She's it. And as soon as I can I'm gonna put a ring on her finger. I have to play it cool for now, seeing how she reacted when I asked her to move in. I know she thought I was joking. I haven't been so fucking serious about anything in my life. The entire ride to John's house I think of all the ways I can show her she can trust me. There's no way I'd ever hurt her. Her hand in my lap takes my attention from my thoughts and I look over at the beautiful woman sitting next to me. “Your insatiable,” I say with a smile.

“It's hard not to be when I'm with you. I want you all the time.” She licks her lips and rubs my cock, making me hard instantly. I want to pull the car over and slide her onto my lap.

“There'll plenty of time for that when we get back home.” She gives me a surprised look at my reference to my house being home. As in ours. Well damn, she didn't correct me so I continue, “There's plenty of surfaces I want to fuck you on. We won't be able to get to them all tonight but I'm sure as hell gonna try to have you on a few before we pass out.” I can see and feel her shiver when her hand squeezes my cock harder at my words. I let out a low growl. “Ilyanna....” Fuck! I lose my train of thought when she frees my cock and starts stroking.

“I'm so hungry...... your cock's delicious, I just can't get enough.” I grab the back of her head when she descends on me and starts to circle my tip with her tongue, holding her exactly where I want her. She pushes up on my hands so she can look into my eyes. “Just drive and enjoy the ride.” Sinking back down sets a steady rhythm.

It was work but I manage to not crash as she sucks me deeper into her mouth. Her hand's in my pants, massaging my balls and I'm ready to blow. “I'm gonna cum baby,” I pant, completely out of breath.

She stops sucking long enough to give me a wicked grin. “Cum in my mouth handsome, I love the way you taste. Give me all of it.” Fuck as soon as her mouth wraps around me again I explode with so much force I think it'll push her off of me. I should've known better. She's latched so tight on my dick there's no chance she's letting go until she swallows every last drop. Licking her lips, she sits back against her seat and looks me in the eyes again. “Yumm, I could taste you every day.”

“Fuck girl, I could let you. When we get home it's my turn.” She doesn't make any indication that calling my house our home again bothers her this time. She just takes my hand in hers and holds on tight.

“So, how are we going to play this?” I ask as we turn onto her street.

She gives me a deer in the headlights look as if just remembering the interrogation that's about to come as we walk in our friend's house. “I haven't really thought about it. Lets just act natural. They knew it was only a matter of time before we hooked up. I doubt they'll be very surprised.” She seems convinced of their reaction so I just nod in agreement.

After pulling in the driveway and cutting the engine, I look over at her. “Ready?”

“As I'll ever be.” She beams back at me, treating me to that beautiful smile of hers.

Opening her door for her, I take her hand and pull her into me for a kiss that turns into more than I intended. I brush my lips against hers and lick across her mouth. She attacks me like she's drowning and needs my oxygen to survive. When she finally pulls away I'm out of breath and panting. “Damn woman, you want me going in there sporting major wood? I was going for a good luck kiss and you turn it into lets go fuck behind the bushes.” I laugh at her expression as she pinches my arm. “Alright sexy, lets do this so I can get you back home and fuck you senseless.”

Licking her lips in a way she knows drives me fucking nuts, she grabs my hand and heads up the walkway to the door. Leaning in she gives me a peck on the lips. “Good luck. I'll be quick, your not the only one looking forward to you fucking me senseless.” She's gonna kill me with that smile. It's seductive and promising of things to come. My cock is definitely one of them.

The door opens before her knuckles make contact, no doubt they know we're here and just waiting on the other side of the door. The look on their faces tells me everything I need to know. They definitely witnessed the kiss by the car.

I don't think they could smile any wider. “It's about time you two came to the door. I was thinking about going out there to remind you of your surroundings,” John says cracking up laughing. “I couldn't be happier you two finally got your shit together.”

“Well that's one way to break the ice. And here we were wondering how to do it, thanks.” Feeling less awkward then I thought I would, we follow them into the house.

“I'm just going to grab some things in my room I'll be back in a few.” She squeezes my hand before turning and heading down the hall with Rachel hot on her heels. Great, how long is this going to take? All I want to do is drag her home and get in between those sexy as fuck legs. The things I want to do to her. Just the thought puts a twitch in my cock and I have to quickly remember where I am before embarrassing myself.

John must sense my dilemma. “That bad huh? I remember it well my friend. I knew you two would hit it off. I guess I have an insight to both your thoughts. When you get to where Rachel and I are, you share everything. So we've had a back stage pass to this whole charade. Glad we finally talked enough sense into you guys to see that you're perfect for each other.”

“Did you have feelings for Rachel right away? I mean no bullshittin'. Did you know right away you were gonna marry her?”

He seems to think about it for a minute before answering. “I knew I wanted to spend my life with her yeah. Is that how you feel?”

“Fuck Yeah. I'm ready to go ring shopping. This shit's crazy for me. After Heather I never wanted to get serious with anyone. But I trust her. I know how much it's cost her to let her guard down for me. I think she understands my reluctance since she's had the same problem. It's a fresh start for both of us. I want marriage, a house, kids, hell whatever she wants it's hers. That's how I feel.”

“Oh yeah, cupid's found his mark. I'm happy for you, really I am. Just know if you hurt her and I get shit from Rachel, it's your ass.” He's laughing as he shakes his head.

“No worries there. There's no fucking way I'm fucking this up. I think I'm in love.” Just as I finish my sentence I hear a door closing and the sound of the girls voices drifting down the hall along with their laughter.

When Ilyanna spots me her face splits into a gorgeous grin, one that says everything's great and she couldn't be happier. She must've had a similar talk with Rachel in her room and by the looks of it, it went just a good as mine did with John.

He walks over to Rachel and gives her a kiss, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Congratulations, you two are perfect for each other. Just remember I'm the maid of honor.” Her smile mirroring mine at her words.

Looking at Ilyanna, I notice a flash of alarm in her features before regaining her composure. “Very funny, don't go dress shopping yet. I think we're still far away from where your going.” Swallowing the lie was a tough pill. But the small sigh of relief next to me made it worth it. “We're heading out, I'm beat and six o'clock will be here too soon.” After saying our goodbyes and closing the door behind us Ilyanna turns to me and wraps her arms around my neck, reaching up she plants a kiss on my lips so sweet I could die a happy man.

“Thank you for rescuing me in there. I'm not ready to talk about those things just yet. I'm not saying I don't want to marry you some day because the thought of not having you forever is unbearable. Just not yet.” She ends on a sigh, slightly shaking her head as she stretches for another kiss. This time letting her tongue sneak out and smooth against my lips.

Letting out a growl, I'm rewarded with her adorable giggle. “I need to get you home and show you just how much I want you forever. Things I want to do to you and only you forever.”

The ride home's torture, her hand's on my covered erection, wreaking havoc to my already thin patience to get back to my place. She's so gonna get it. “Are you trying to kill me?” I ask her. “Not that I don't love your hands on me, but I fear for the safety of the people around us.” I laugh and she squeezes me tighter.

“I have faith in you to get us there without crashing. You know what your gonna get when we get there.” She's laughing with me now. “I want to make sure your ready for me.”

“Oh baby I'm pretty sure I'll always be ready for you.”

As soon as I cut the engine she's off and running for the door. I don't know if she's playing chase but I have the keys. Grabbing her arm, I spin her around, pin her ass against the door and possess her mouth in a punishing kiss. Payback for the torture in the car. “Where did you think you were gonna run to huh?” I ask between kisses.

Laughing she answers, “It seemed like a good idea at the time, then I realized I couldn't get in.” She shrugs it off as I unlock the door and she opens it, darting off again in the direction of my room.

“You are so getting it when I catch you.” I yell out to her, not bothering to rush as I start to slowly remove my clothing ensuring I'll be good and ready when I finally do get to her.

“I'm counting on it.” She yells back while giggling.

Entering my room I see she's had the same idea. She's laying spread eagle and buck ass naked. “Mmmm, what a delicious sight.” I want to lick every inch of her. Right now though I just have to get buried deep as quick as possible. She had me ready to explode in the car. Climbing onto the foot of the bed, I crawl up between her thighs, and run my hands up them as I get closer to my prize. Her sexy moans making me rock hard.

I lean down and capture her lips as I stroke my cock, rubbing my head up and down her slit. “Your so wet for me baby, I love it.”

“Your so hard for me, and I love that. I know what your cock does to me and it does make me wet.” She squeals as I push myself up on one arm and with my free hand start to pinch her clit. “Put your cock in me please?” She pleads with me, wiggling her hips.

How can I not when she begs? Slowly, oh so slowly, I slide my cock home into her wet heat. Still rubbing her clit with one hand, I play with her nipples with the other, leaning on my elbow so I don't crush her under my weight. Taking one in my mouth I slowly lick, and suck the tight little bud as I thrust my cock deep. Fast and hard, over and over again, driving her to orgasm and making her cum all over my cock. Taking me with her, I explode. She's still gripping my cock tight as she settles from her orgasm. “Your so good baby,” I tell her as I ease out and she whimpers at the emptiness left behind.

“Your pretty incredible yourself.” She replies as she gets up and heads in the direction of the bathroom. “Hey you know we never did eat dinner.”

“Oh shit, I planned to grab something on the way back from John and Rachel's. Do you want delivery or go see if we can find something in the kitchen?”

“We can check the kitchen, if there's nothing there we can call for delivery.” She calls back as I throw on a pair of workout pants.

Coming out of the bathroom she opens my dresser, looking through the drawers until she finds a t-shirt and slips it on. It comes to mid thigh on her and I can't wait to tease her in the kitchen while we're looking for something to eat.

miscalculation

S
itting in my office at work, I think back on the past couple months and I can't help but smile. Everything is going great, if not a little too fast. I've only spent three nights at John and Rachel's. I can't seem to make myself go home. Hmmm, home? The more and more I think about it, Braydon's is becoming home. I have most of my clothes there in one of the spare bedroom closets. He says he'll make room in his, but I told him it's just too soon. I don't know who I'm trying to fool. Certainly not myself. Maybe part of me wants to make him sweat it out. It just seems so permanent. I think I'm ready to move in, I just need to find the right time to tell him.

Things at work have been smooth sailing. Everyone knows we're together and if they've said anything to Braydon he hasn't told me. He did ask me to step up to be his partner. I'm definitely not ready for that.

   This is his business, and I wouldn't feel right to just step in when I had nothing to do with it's growth. “Once we're married it will be half yours anyway,” he told me.

Of course that brought back the argument that I'm not ready to talk about those things. “I thought we agreed we're not going there yet Braydon, let's just agree to disagree for now.”

“Fine we'll table it for now, just think about it please.”

That discussion came when we got back to his place one night after going to our usual club. We saw that stripper again. Her name is Sarah, and she's been getting pretty friendly with Brent over the last month and slowly making her way into our circle of friends. She seems nice and all, just a little awkward knowing her barely there history with Braydon. I'm not jealous. Everyone's entitled to their past. I'm sure I'll get over it, I'm a big girl. Or at least I'm trying to be.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my office door. “Come in”

    “Sorry to bother you Ilyanna, you have a call on line one from a Miss Sarah Price. I tried buzzing you but didn't get a reply and knew you were in here. Would you like me to take message?”

Braydon went ahead and hired an assistant for me, she's a really nice semi retired clerical secretary who works four hours a day, five days a week. “Thanks Mariam, I must have been lost in my thoughts. I'll take the call.” With that she gives me a wave and closes the door behind her.

“Good afternoon, this is Ilyanna. How can I help you?”

“Hi Ilyanna, I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I just wanted to ask you a favor.”

“Sure Sarah, what's up?” It's almost as if I've summoned her with my thoughts, crazy.

“I know I should have called HR, but you know my situation. So I was hoping you could help.”

Of course her situation is wanting out of stripping. Which could only mean she's calling for a job. “So I'm assuming your calling about a position. What kind of accounting, management, secretarial or HR experience do you have? Mind you, anything you tell me I'll have to run by Braydon and then HR for a final decision. Also Braydon will want a resume.”

“Okay, now I haven't told anyone this, not even my parents. But I want to go into this completely honest with you. And to be honest it's been a heavy thing to hold onto. I'm not ashamed, I just feel a lot of people would've tried to change my mind if I had told them. I started stripping when my little brother got sick and needed surgeries and treatments. My parents had no idea how some of the bills were being paid. I played ignorant and the doctors had no answers since I made payments anonymously. I couldn't hack school anymore so I quit. I was majoring in business and finished almost three years. I haven't had any experience other than school and a couple of internships. One at an investment firm and the other at a software company, both here in Boston. My only jobs were fast food and stripping. I don't regret it, because Luke is healthy now and cancer free. I just want to get back to school and finish my degree.”

Wow, could I have done it? Probably not, but how sad. “Well I'm sorry about your brother and glad he's better, but why this particular business?”

“Because I already know you and you know about the stripping. I don't want to just go anywhere and have to explain my lack of job experience at twenty five.”

“Alright, let me talk to Braydon for you. I don't see a problem with getting you on somewhere.” I can't see the harm in asking. He can probably get her pretty cheap. Urgh, there's that thought of them together at the strip club.... Stop just stop, he's with you now. Put your green head away. I shake the thoughts away and remember big girl, big girl, I'm a big girl.

“Thank you so much Ilyanna. Oh has Brent said anything about me? I'm getting kinda sweet on him. We've hung out a couple times, I think my job bothers him. I keep telling him I'm quitting and he tells me it doesn't matter. You know men and their pride though. They never admit stuff like that.” She laughs at the thought of how childish men can be and I can't help but join in with her.

“He hasn't said anything to me but he's been in a pretty good mood this past week. I'll give you a call back and let you know how everything goes. Have a good day Sarah.

“Thank you so much, talk to later.” And with that I end the call just to make another.

“What's up babe?” Braydon answers when he picks up the phone.

“You will never guess who I just got off of the phone with!”

“Hmmm? Let me think. A church, a dress shop, your doctor and your pregnant?”

“Braydon.......” What the hell? Shit my doctor! No, no I should be fine. That does remind me I have to get in touch with my new doctor to renew my birth control.

“I know, I know I'm sorry. Your just too easy to tease. Who called you babe?”

“I'll let it go for now, but your so getting it later. I have my own ways to tease you.” Mmmm, I tingle just thinking about teasing him and knowing I can't hold out long before giving in and taking him with me over the edge.

“Sarah, she's looking for a job. I talked a bit with her about experience. She doesn't have any formal job training, but she finished almost three years of her business degree. I'll fill you in a little more at home but wanted to let you know so you could think on it this afternoon.” And I really want to finish this call. I have one more really important one I need to make.

“I'll think about a possible opening that just came up in HR. I don't think that would work since Brent hasn't stopped talking about her and how much he wishes she would change professions.”

“Damn, she mentioned she thought he had an issue with it but he denied it when she asked him. Good thing she's looking to get out. and who are you to have a problem with relationships in the same department? If it became a problem you could just find her something else right?” Hypercritical much? Shaking my head at his remark my mind kept going back to my birth control. I can not forget to call.

“I know, I guess we can try. Will you handle her interview personally? I know you have a feel for these things baby. I have faith in you. And my Mom called to see if you would like to come to Maine for Thanksgiving. What should I tell her? We'll be having a cake for my Birthday too.” Damn my mind is wacked, I forgot all about his birthday, never mind Thanksgiving.

“I would love to go with you to your parents. Please thank her for me. I'm gonna get off of here now. Love you.” It's amazing how quickly I've fallen in love with him when I thought it impossible. I smile at how incredibly happy I am.

“Love you too baby, see you in a bit. I wanna go over a few things with you for tomorrow's meeting.”

                                *****

I'm loosing my patience, I've been on hold for what seems like forever. Technically it's only been three minutes and twenty six seconds. When my doctor told me she had to double check my files to make sure when my birth control was due I panicked.

What's the problem?

Did I get the dates mixed up? Shit I hope not.

I think Braydon would be happy, although shocked I'm sure. Me? I'm nowhere near ready for kids. All this stays on repeat in my head as I wait for this slow ass doctor. How long does it take to look up my last prescription? It would've taken me less time to call my doctor back home. And they say southerners are slow.

“Hello, Ilyanna?” Finally she gets back to me, after eight minutes and forty nine seconds.

“Hi, Dr. Daniels. So when is my birth control due for renewal?” I sound a little snappy, and I feel bad for about thirty seconds. What the hell is wrong with me?

After clearing her throat she answers. “Well, looking into your file it looks like it was due twenty two days ago.”

“What? I thought I wasn't due for my next shot for another week or so.” Oh my god!! I feel sick. All that unprotected sex, and when I say all I mean a shitload almost everyday at least once a day.

Fuck, fuck, and shit no......

“Now I have to ask. Have you had sex without protection in that time frame?” I know she's just doing her job and she doesn't know me. But seriously? I can't even think right now let alone answer. “Ilyanna? Are you there?”

“Yes, sorry I'm here. And yes I have, we haven't bothered with protection since I thought I was protected.” What the hell am I going to do if I'm pregnant?

“Ok, well first we need to get you in here for a pregnancy test. We're closed after today for the holiday. Do you think you could make it in before five today? If it's negative I'll have a shot waiting for you. If it's positive we'll schedule you a physical for first thing next week.”

“I can be there between four and five. I'll call when I'm on my way. Thank you.”

“I'll see you in a little while Ilyanna." I hang up the phone and rush to the bathroom, making it just in time to lose my lunch.

Walking out of the doctor's office I feel numb.

Pregnant? How the hell did I let this happen?

How did I get the date wrong?

True I've been preoccupied lately and time has flown by. But pregnant?!!!!

I don't know how I've kept my composure until I sink myself into my car, but as soon I do I break down in a heaping mess. Full blown snotty tears, the kind you choke on.

I have to call my mother, she'll calm me down. She has a way of making me see things half full instead of empty. “Hi baby, how are you?” She answers cheerfully.

“Mo.....mam.....aa...... I m...e....ss...ed uuuup!” I can barely choke the words out of my mouth. “I'm pre....ggg...na...nt.” I end with a hiccup. “I don't.,” hiccup, “know how I'm go...i...ng to tell Br...a...y...don....” I break down even more as soon as his name leaves my lips. My mom being the ever patient soul waits for me to settle down before she speaks.

“Do you love him? Do you want him to father your children? And most importantly, do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?”

I think about what she just asked me and immediately have my answer. “I can't imagine my life without him. He completes me.” With that being said I realize I've calmed enough to get my thoughts from my brain and out of my mouth without stuttering. “I want to marry him and have his babies, grow old with him and help raise our grandchildren together. It's just too soon. We've only been seeing each other for two months.”

“Do you think he feels the same Ilyanna? If he does, then it can never be too soon. God has a plan baby, and that child is part of his plan. Everything that happens unexpectedly is part of his plan. It may not seem like it to you now, but there's a reason for everything. I believe God brought you to Boston to be with that man of yours. I didn't know it before but the way you talk about him my sweet girl, that's fate.”

She makes me feel a little better with her logic. For now.... “I do, he tells me every day how much he loves me and how thankful he is that I came into his life. He hints about marriage all the time and has even made a couple jokes about me being pregnant. I just don't know if he'll think it's bad timing or in the wrong order or I'm trying to trap him. Oh God, I hope he doesn't think I'm trapping him. My mind's freaking out. I've told him I'm not ready to get married. How am I supposed to tell him I'm having our baby?”

“The way I see it, you have two options. Come right out and tell him or surprise him for Christmas. It's perfect timing for that. Either way, the way you talk about your relationship, I think he'll be happy. Just keep me updated. And just don't you go worrying about my feelings, I'm very excited to be a Mamaw. I love you Ilyanna, and know I support you.”

My mother's sweet words bring back the water works. This time they're tears of joy, not fear that are gently streaming down my cheeks. “Thanks Momma, I love you too. I'll call you on Thanksgiving and let you know my plans. We're heading up to Maine for a few days with his parents.”

“Have fun, I'll be waiting to hear from you.”