Fighting for You (4 page)

Ella’s fork clattered to her plate as she stared at him. He continued to eat as if they always had conversations like this. “But . . . I just didn’t . . .”

He swallowed a bite and turned to her. “You want to be involved with me?”

“Involved?” Surely, he didn’t actually mean what it sounded like he meant and she wasn’t about to make a fool of herself yet again by assuming.

Declan took his time wiping his mouth with a napkin before answering. “My idea of what that means will probably be a little different from yours, Ellie, but I think you get the idea. I like you, I want you, and I think you feel the same. I’ve tried to step back even though I knew how you felt about me because you are just too good for someone like me.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he raised his hand to silence her. “For years I have lived a life that you can’t even imagine. I have done and seen things that would shock you, disgust you, and scare the hell out of you. Don’t even bother to doubt me, because even I run from the things in my head. So I can’t make any promises to you, Ellie, because more than likely I’d end up breaking them. I’m not going to be the man you settle down with or the man who gives you a family, but, honey, I can be the man who makes your skin burn, your toes curl, and who makes you lose your inhibitions and scream. That I can promise you.”

Ella felt her breathing kick into high gear as her nipples peaked and heat pooled between her thighs. Declan’s eyes blazed into hers as if awaiting her response. All she could manage to croak out was “Why did you change your mind?”

He leaned forward in his chair and trailed a finger down one of her flushed cheeks. “You are hell-bent on finding a man, Ellie, and even though you might end up hating me in the end, I’ll never hurt you physically. For you, I will even try to give you some of what you need.”

Man, was that an intriguing sentence. “Some of what I need?”

Declan shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable. “Yeah, you know a date kind of thing. Maybe dinner and a movie or whatever you enjoy doing. I want us to be lovers, Ellie, but I will try to give as much as I take. I haven’t done this whole dating scene in a long time and I’m not sure I even know how to do something so normal anymore.”

Ella could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Declan sounded so lost and alone. She had to wonder what he had gone through to make him sound afraid to do something so normal as go on a date. They had spent a lot of time talking at the office, but it was usually about her. He rarely ever talked about his life or his past. When she had tried to ask, he had changed the subject or made up some appointment he had to get to. She knew he had spent years in the military and she had to assume that that was the source of most of his demons. Shyly, she reached out and took his hand in hers. “I do like you. I haven’t made a secret of that, but before this goes any further, I need to tell you something.”

“I already know, Ellie.”

Ella’s jaw dropped in surprise as she asked, “You do?”

“Yeah, I do,” Declan smiled.

“Wha . . . what do you know?”

His smile turned in to a full-scale smirk as he said, “I know that you want my body. You don’t need to confess, sweetheart.” Declan burst out laughing as she stared at him with her mouth open. “I’m sorry, Ellie, I couldn’t resist. You looked so nervous that I thought you needed a good laugh. Now what do you need to tell me?”

Ella could only stare at the man sitting in front of her. He was actually making jokes. He seemed almost happy. Could he need her as much as she needed him? What he was offering her went against everything she had been raised to believe. He was as good as promising her that there would be no future for them. Had she waited for Mr. Right for this long only to settle for Mr. Right-now? If the only feelings between them were physical, why was she so drawn to him? Was she strong enough to battle his demons and save the man underneath it all?

Question after question swirled through her head as she gazed into the laughing eyes of the man before her. If she were truthful with herself, she would admit that the battle had been lost the moment he walked through her door. There was no way she could walk away from what he was offering. It might not be what she had always imagined her first love to be, but she knew in her heart that Declan would change her life forever whether he stayed for one night or for the rest of her life. She crossed her fingers that he didn’t run when she answered his questions. “I, um . . . don’t have much experience with what you’re talking about.” Declan rubbed his finger over the palm of her hand in a way that sent tingles across her skin. “Well, all of it, I guess. I’ve gone on dates, but it didn’t go much further than that.”

He extended his other hand and raised her chin, forcing her to make eye contact. “Are you a virgin, Ellie?”

Why wouldn’t the floor open up and swallow you when you really needed it? Ella would have been grateful for a crack even big enough to fall through. She had never really had this conversation with anyone other than Beth and certainly never a man. Maybe it was great to make it through your teenage years and still be a virgin, but when you were nearing thirty, it seemed more like a commitment to becoming the weird cat lady.

“My parents were pretty protective and didn’t let me date while I was in school so I never had many opportunities to . . . you know.”

Declan took a deep breath and suddenly toppled her off her chair and onto his lap. She gasped in surprise at the feel of his hard thighs against her bottom. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head under his chin. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, honey. I suspected as much. You’re a beautiful woman, but it’s obvious that you don’t use that beauty the way most women do. I’m going to be noble just one time here and offer to walk away if you don’t want this. You know I’m not offering you anything permanent so if you want your first time to be with the man you marry, then I’ll step back and let you go. I’m only going to make that offer once though, Ellie, so be damn sure before you answer.”

Ella pulled back and met his gaze without wavering. “I want you, Declan. You are the only man who has ever made me feel this way, and I’m not walking away.”

Declan let out an unsteady breath then he circled her lower lip with his fingertip. “Thank, God, because that would have probably killed me. He groaned as she wiggled on his lap. “Baby, please stop moving like that before I break my promise and take you right here. I want to show you all of the ways to give and take pleasure before I’m inside of you.”

Ella could feel herself blush again at Declan’s frank words. Despite his protests though, he seemed powerless to resist when she slid her hands into his hair and pulled his head slowly toward hers. She was dying for another kiss like their last one. She wanted to feel his tongue against hers and lose herself in the heat of his mouth. She placed her lips softly against his and waited for him to take the lead. But other than gripping her hips tightly, he didn’t move. She tentatively parted her lips and darted her tongue against the seam of his mouth. A rough growl erupted from his throat as he took control of the kiss. He nipped, sucked, and plundered every corner before pulling abruptly away.

“Ellie, we need to stop. I’m about two seconds from bending you over the kitchen table. And, as much as I’d love that, I’d rather that not be how your first time happens.”

Ella whimpered in protest and tried to pull him back to her, but he held her hands in his and denied her the contact that she was so desperately seeking. Sticking her lips out, she said, “Well, damn,” and then promptly covered her mouth with her hand.

Declan chuckled at her obvious frustration. He kissed her forehead and pulled her toward the door. “I’ve got to get going now. I would love to stay longer, but I can’t risk it right now.” Giving her what she knew was a rare uncertain smile, he asked, “How about we go to dinner tomorrow night?”

She grinned and quickly agreed.

As if he couldn’t help himself, he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and gruffly said, “Lock the door behind me, Ellie. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”

She turned the lock behind him and sagged against the door.
Please tell me I’m not dreaming.
To double-check, she pinched herself and was relieved when she felt the sting. She did a happy dance right in the middle of the kitchen. It was actually going to happen. Declan Stone wanted her, finally! She grabbed her phone and sent a quick text to Beth arranging for a girls’ lunch for the next day. She shuddered as she imagined the advice she would get from Suzy. Of course, with a husband like Gray, Suzy had proven that she knew how to get her man. She might be a little graphic, but the girl knew what she was doing. Beth texted her back wanting to know what was going on, but Ella didn’t want to discuss it yet. She wanted a night to let it all sink in. When the phone rang in her hand, she laughed as she answered the call. “You just couldn’t wait until tomorrow for all of the dirty details could you?” After a moment of silence, she cringed as she heard her mother’s voice.

“What dirty details are you talking about, Ella Marie?”

“Um . . . hi Mom,” she said weakly.

Never one to let a subject be changed easily, her mother repeated, “What dirty details?”

“Oh . . . well, it’s just a television show that Beth and I both watch. She didn’t get a chance to see it tonight so I figured she was calling to see what happened.”
You big fat liar. Why didn’t you just tell her the truth? I’m sure she would be all for her baby girl having sex with a bad boy.
She couldn’t imagine her mother’s reaction to that news. She would have grabbed her dad and they would be at her apartment before she could hang up the phone. They were still holding out hope that she would marry their pastor’s son who, incidentally, hated Ella because she laughed when he fell off his bike when he was ten. For someone whose father preached forgiveness weekly, he certainly knew how to hold a grudge.

With a loud sniff of disapproval, her mother said, “Honey, I have told you not to watch those trashy shows. There is nothing but smut on nowadays and a young, impressionable girl doesn’t need to see that.”

“Mom, I’m twenty-eight years old. I haven’t been a girl for a long time. You watch the cooking network all of the time and those women dress like s—”

“Ella! What has gotten into you tonight? I think you need to come home next weekend and spend some time with your father and me. Everyone at church has been asking about you. It’s gotten rather embarrassing to keep making excuses as to where you are.”

Ella wondered if her mother could see the irony of lecturing her about going to church while she admitted in the same breath that she lied about why she wasn’t there. She was smart enough not to mention that particular thought out loud though. She had learned years ago that things went better if you didn’t argue or make waves. Now, she tended to avoid these types of conversations with her mother altogether if she could. “Mom, it’s getting late and I need to get to sleep.”

Luckily, her mother wasn’t one to question it when you pretended to be sleepy at eight thirty. “Okay, honey. You know if that place is too much for you, your father could find you something that is less stressful. I don’t think those people there are very good influences on you anyway.”

Ella picked up the fork still sitting on the table from dinner earlier and pretended to stab herself with it. Why must her mother be so judgmental about everything and everyone? All she seemed to care about was how people in her church and the community viewed her. Appearances were everything to Dorothy Webber and she seemed willing to go to any length to keep them up. She couldn’t even imagine what her mother’s reaction would be when—and if—she met Declan. Only one word came to mind—horror. There was no way she would ever want him to sit at her dinner table.

She had tried her best to raise her daughter to be a doormat and constantly nagged now because it wasn’t working anymore. By moving out and getting a job on her own, Ella had successfully cut the apron strings and her mother didn’t like it one bit. Until Ella knew if there was any kind of future with Declan, she needed to keep them apart. She didn’t want to subject him to the disapproval and she didn’t want to put herself through the hell that would surely follow. For now, it was best to keep her parents in the dark and not let them realize that their daughter was finally starting to live her life on her own terms.

Chapter Five

At lunch, Ella put her hands over her ears as Beth squealed at the top of her lungs, “Yesss! I knew Declan would come around. I thought it might take a few more dates, but I knew it would happen. Of course, I also had a little insider tip from Nick.”

Suzy slammed her glass of iced tea down on the table and demanded, “Why am I just hearing about this?”

Ella’s glass landed next to Suzy’s as she asked, “Shouldn’t that be my line?”

Claire held up a hand for silence and said, “Alright everyone, let’s give Beth a chance to explain what she knows and why she held out on us and then we will go after her!”

Cringing Beth said, “Thanks, Claire . . . I think. I didn’t find out till last night and it was too late to call everyone.”

Suzy interrupted saying, “Haven’t I talked to you at least three times today?”

“I’m pregnant,” Beth defended. “You know I have a lot of issues right now. First there is—”

Rolling her eyes, Suzy said, “Okay, okay, no need to start with all of the bodily function things you’ve got going on, just tell us what you know.”

Ella squirmed as Beth took an unusually long time to settle back in her seat before she began. “Well, Declan came by Nick’s office yesterday and was pissed off that I helped Ella sign up for the dating service. Nick was surprised since they aren’t really buddies. He said Declan was furious and wanted him to tell me to talk Ella out of it. Apparently, his sister was attacked by some guy that she was dating and he is afraid the same thing will happen to Ella.”

“Wow,” Claire murmured, “I had no idea that something like that had happened to Ava. It does explain why she seems so reserved, though. And why Declan is protective toward the women in his life, which is a good quality to have.”

Suzy slung an arm around Ella’s shoulders and said, “So you’ve at least got the man on loan, now what do you plan to do with him?”

“Well, he says he will try the dating thing before we . . . you know.”

Claire chimed in, “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Ella,” Suzy began, “I’m just going to ask what everyone else is wondering—you do know how all of the other stuff works, don’t you? Eventually, you will get down to having no clothes on and then the good stuff begins.”

Ella wanted to crawl under the table especially when the woman at the next table gave her a look of sympathy. “I know. I’m a little nervous about it, but I’m ready.”

“I’m sure Declan has a lot of experience,” Beth offered, “You can just follow his lead. Everyone at this table has been where you are, so don’t be embarrassed.”

Suzy burst out laughing. “No one at this table has been where you are, kid. Yeah, we were all the big V at one time, but none of us were initiated by a stud like Declan. I wanted to cry after my first time. Not because it hurt or anything, but because I was so damn depressed that sex was such a letdown. Of course, now that I’m with Gray, it’s like winning the orgasm lottery every single day of my life . . . sometimes, several times a day.”

Beth groaned, Claire chuckled and Ella tried tapping her feet together under the table and telling herself,
there’s no place like home . . . there’s no place like home.
Dorothy must have been a liar because that had yet to work for her.

“Don’t sweat it,” Suzy continued, “You have us and we won’t let you suck in bed. Well . . .”

“Stop!” Beth and Claire both begged.

“Please don’t go any further with that statement.” Claire shifted toward Ella and said, “What Suzy is trying to say is that we’re all here for you if you need advice on anything. You shouldn’t worry about it though because it just comes naturally when you’re ready. But Suzy is right, you are very lucky that it’s a man like Declan. That’s bound to make it much more memorable than my first time.”

Ella looked gratefully at each of her friends in turn, even Suzy. “Thanks so much, you guys. I never really had many close friends growing up. My parents scared most of them away.”

“Yeah,” Beth laughed, “We know where you’re coming from there. By the way, speaking of friends, have any of you met Emma Davis? She’s Brant’s assistant.”

“Ugh,” Suzy groaned, “That must be a rough gig. Gray invited him over for drinks a few weeks ago and I thought my eyes would glaze over before he left. You would just expect someone that hot to be more interesting. He might look like Declan, but the man is a bore. I tried to inject some humor a few times to liven things up, and he looked at me like I was from another planet.”

“That’s pretty much what Emma says about him,” Beth nodded. “Anyway, I thought we could ask her to lunch one day. We talked a few times, and she doesn’t know anyone else at the office. The poor girl probably needs some comic relief to get through the day.”

“Come on, guys,” Claire said, “He’s not that bad. I admit, he seems to be all business, but Jason and Gray both like him.”

Continuing with her theory that sex solved everything, Suzy deadpanned, “Maybe he just needs to get laid. He could be going through a dry spell since he relocated here. He probably put his last few dates in a coma before dinner was over. If Emma wants a better boss, she should hire him a hooker or something.”

Ella giggled. Leave it to Suzy to think you could solve any problem by hiring a hooker. As uncomfortable as the conversations could get sometimes, especially when she was in the hot seat, she still loved her time with the girls. She had no doubt that the women at that table could take over the world if they set their minds to it.

***

Declan was nervous, and it was a feeling he hadn’t had in a long time. Even with hell breaking loose all around him in Afghanistan, he had never been nervous. He always lived his life by the motto,
if you have a job to do, you do it
. Somehow doing something as normal as a date seemed like a daunting task. The last date he had gone on was before joining the military. Since then, rather than dating, it was more like scratching an itch when his body demanded it. He wasn’t particularly proud of the fact that he didn’t remember many names of the women he had scratched that itch with.

Ella though, deserved better. A better man would have never started this with her, but now that he had, he intended to see where it went. If that meant feeling like a damn teenager on his first date, then so be it. He had been in meetings out of the office all day and hadn’t seen her since the night before. He had called briefly to confirm their plans for the evening, half afraid that she had changed her mind, but the happiness in her voice had reassured him that she wasn’t having second thoughts.

He still didn’t know how the hell he had ended up at her door. After talking to Nick at the office, the idea had taken root. Why should he give Ella the green light to date another man when he wanted her and she wanted him? If she was that determined to get some experience, then shouldn’t it be from someone who actually cared about her? The thought of another man putting his hands on her had been more than he could stomach. She was wildly eager and responsive for someone so innocent and he had no idea how he was going to control himself with her. Dating was probably the only thing that would save him because if they were alone for any time at all, he would have his hands all over her feminine curves.

Declan tensed as a knock sounded at the door of his apartment. Glancing at his watch in impatience, he noted that he only had about fifteen minutes before he had to leave to pick up Ella. When he saw Brant standing on the other side, he cursed silently. His older brother was constantly trying to bring what was left of their family together. He wished he would save all of his attention for their sister and leave him for the lost cause that he was.

Swinging the door open, Declan motioned him inside before shutting it behind him.

It was ironic that even though Declan had turned down a position working in the family business, he still ended up working with his brother and sister at Danvers. Stone Electronics manufactured a component that Danvers International used and Jason Danvers had been very interested in acquiring the small, but solid, company as a part of his company’s expansion. Gray and Nick Merimon had come on board at Danvers when Jason also acquired their company, Mericom. Declan thought that Brant and Ava were relieved not to be running the company on a daily basis any longer. Jason had kept the siblings on in vice-president roles since Danvers remained short staffed after its explosive growth and because they were damn good at their jobs. Declan’s grandfather, who started the company, would probably have another heart attack if he knew the company was no longer family owned.

He was surprised to see his brother looking visibly ruffled. “What’s up, Brant?”

“Do you have the folder for the Reynolds contract?”

Giving his brother a puzzled look, Declan asked, “Why would I? That’s your baby.”

“Yeah, no shit, but my new assistant has all of my paperwork fucked up. Did she pull the Myers file for you?” Declan nodded his head. “Where is it? I looked on your desk, but didn’t see it.”

“It’s in my briefcase. I grabbed it on my way out this morning, to thumb through later.”

“Can you look and see what you have? I think she mixed up the files and I’m flying out tonight to meet with Reynolds tomorrow.”

Declan rolled his eyes and walked over to his briefcase. Sure enough, when he sorted through the stack, he found the missing file. He almost felt sorry for the woman who had made the mistake. His brother was a perfectionist and would lose sleep over something like this for days. “So, what is this, like the third assistant to bite the dust since you’ve been at Danvers?”

Brant looked at him in surprise. “I’m not firing Emma over this. I’m not happy about it, and she will know it, but I don’t think it warrants termination.”

Now Declan was the one looking at Brant with a surprised expression. “Emma, huh? I’ve never heard you call one of your assistants by her first name. Maybe I need to come up for a visit and meet the famous Emma.”

“Screw off and stick to your own damn office.” Seeing Declan look at his watch again, he asked, “Were you going out?”

Declan shifted uncomfortably, “Yeah, I have plans soon. I’ll walk down with you.”

Seeming much too interested, Brant asked, “What kind of plans? Is there someone left in Myrtle Beach that you haven’t bedded yet?”

Declan slammed the door shut behind them and flipped off his brother. “Very funny. Don’t you have somewhere to be? I’d recommend going to the airport early, just in case your assistant booked you the wrong flight as well.” With a smile of satisfaction, Declan saw his brother’s face go white and he took off for his car at a fast clip. Declan laughed, unlocked his Porsche Cayman, and settled in the driver’s seat. It might be a bit of a stereotype, but he loved his car. Of course, he also owned a truck. Sports cars didn’t make that much sense other than the rush you felt when driving them. He was also pretty sure that if Ella wore one of those dresses that she usually wore, the odds were good that he might get an eyeful of leg when he helped her out of the low-slung car. Yeah, in the end, he was just a guy.