FIGHTER: An MMA Romance Novel (12 page)

"
S
o if it
’s not for publicity, why do you visit Starward's every week?"

Jax shifted in his chair and took a grounding breath, as though the question were loaded. Nicole thought it was innocent enough, but it looked like there was meaning in what Jax did that escaped her.

"Right to the heart of the matter, right? No 'What's your star sign?' or 'What's your favorite food?' to spare me a bit of heat?" He joked, but Nicole could see the tension in his face. There was a secret there that Jax wasn't sure he wanted to give up. Nicole hoped he felt comfortable enough with her to divulge it.

"What can I say? I'm an ambitious woman," she said with a little shrug, trying to be just as playful back. "But if you want to use those questions as warm ups before you step up to the real fight, go ahead. I'd be interested in knowing them."

With some theater, Jax shook his head in disbelief and offered her a broad grin. The coffee before him was still steaming, wispy white trails of vapor curling up through the air.

"Well, uh, that'd be Aries, and lasagna. A good, homemade lasagna, though. Fresh. The frozen ones are okay in a pinch."

"With my love of garlic bread, I think we'd get along just fine." Nicole's attention turned to her own coffee. Time had stopped and sped ahead all at once. The sun was already beginning to dip low against the horizon. "So tell me about your choice to become a regular at Starward's?"

"See, that's the thing," Jax said, each word sluggish with reluctance. "When I first became a regular at Starward's, it wasn't by choice. The very first time I set foot in there, I’d just turned five years old. My ma took me in to see a pediatrician because my behavior had changed. I was tired all the time. I’d fall asleep at preschool after a full twelve hours’ sleep, and if you know kids, you know they usually don’t sleep that much."

He spoke carefully, like he feared being exposed. Still, Jax pressed forward. Nicole's brow furrowed as she listened, concerned with the direction the story was taking. If Jax sat beside her now, she knew there had to be a happy ending, but she'd never expected his life to be as turbulent as it was.

"What did the pediatrician say?" she asked.

"Well, she couldn't find anything physically wrong with me, nothing she could see anyway. So she asked me a couple of questions. I don't remember any of what I said, but it was enough that it raised a bunch of red flags. She ordered a blood test, and when the results came back, the clinic kept calling the phone over and over again until my ma answered. That I do remember. She was taking a shower, getting ready to go to her second job, and I was planted in front of the TV watching a cartoon. The phone rang and rang and rang, and when she did get out to answer it, she still had shampoo suds in her hair. When the call ended she put the phone back in its cradle on the wall, got dressed without washing the soap out, and got us a cab. That was the first day I checked into Starward's. When I checked in and was assessed, they told my ma there was a good chance I’d never check out again."

"Oh my god," Nicole murmured. Even a retelling had her hairs standing on end. The terror and heartbreak Jax's mother had endured hit her hard. "What was wrong?"

"They diagnosed me with ALL almost right away. That's uh, oh, wow, it's been a long time since I said it all in full. Uh, it's acute lymphocytic leukemia. It was really bad news. And I had a bad case. The doctors wanted to try chemo to see if it was responsive, and within a few months I'd lost all my hair. My ma went from working two jobs, just about fifteen hours a day, to being unemployed so she could be there for me."

"What about your dad?" Nicole asked. In the end, Benny had given up his job to take care of Abby full time while his wife worked upper management at the casino. Even with one source of income and workplace insurance covering the bulk of Abby's medical bills, they just scraped by.

"I don't have one," Jax said, then frowned and shook his head. "I mean, of course I have one, but he didn't stick around. He split the scene when he found out my ma was pregnant. Didn't even say goodbye, just left. Back then without internet and cellphones, it wasn't hard to get lost. So when I was born, my ma cracked down and did what it took to raise me. I owe her everything."

The woman had done right by him. Despite his rough upbringing, Jax was an outstanding man. If he hadn't told Nicole his story with such genuine detail, she wouldn't have believed he'd ever been sick.

"So what with the leukemia?" Nicole insisted. "It responded to chemo, right? You're sitting here."

"It responded for a while, and my white blood cell count rose," Jax said, "but then it stopped working. The doctors urged my mom to find someone willing to donate bone marrow, but that person had to be a match. They say brothers and sisters are the most likely candidates, but I was an only child. Next comes parents. Ma wasn't a good match. So, she reached out to my dad's family — she still had his mother’s number.” Jax paused and took a sip of his coffee.

“He'd disappeared, but my grandma on my dad's side came to the hospital when she found out what was happening. Turns out, she was a match, and she was willing to donate to try to save me. After the transplant happened, I spent another few months in the hospital recovering and receiving other care. I’m telling ya, it feels like it just drags on forever. Especially when you’re a kid that just wants to go outside and play. But then, all of a sudden, I got my wish. The cancer was gone. I could be a normal kid again. I think I'd just turned seven at that point. My ma would know for sure."

What a wild ride. What a nightmare.
Nicole lifted her coffee to her lips and sipped.
That Jax was alive to tell the tale was a miracle.

"So, then you were fine after that? No more treatments?" she asked.

"Well, I had to go back to the hospital for tests once every four months just to make sure nothing was coming back. In a couple years, it became once every six months. Then once a year. By the time I had five years’ cancer free, the doctors felt certain that I'd beaten it for good. Turns out, if you beat childhood leukemia and stay cancer free for that long, it's most likely it'll never come back. And, well, I'm twenty-seven now, and it hasn't. I go in once a year to get checked up, just to make sure, but there's been no trace of it for twenty years now."

"I can't even imagine what that must have been like, going through all of that," Nicole murmured. It was her turn to reach out across the table and touch Jax's hand. Pins and needles spread across her palm again.

"You’re going through it with Abby," he said. "A sick kid, no matter how sick, doesn't leave you the same after all is said and done. I got better, and Abby, I mean, she's doing okay now, but..."

"I know," Nicole whispered. Her gaze fell.

Jax's story was inspiring, but with no cure in sight for Abby's condition, she knew her niece wasn't going to get an ending as happy as his.

"And that's why you visit the hospital every week?" Nicole asked. Deep down she mustered the strength to catch Jax's eye once more. "Because you're giving back for all the care they gave you when you needed it most?"

"Well, sort of. That's part of it. But there's another part at play, too." Jax took a moment to sip at his coffee and wet his throat. While Nicole had no problem for talking hours on end, he was more of the silent type.

"What’s the other part?”

"When I was in the hospital, going through my rounds of chemo, there was a guy who used to come round to see us. Santino 'Satan's Bane' Erikson. At the time, he was a championship boxer. This guy was winning matches left and right. His claim to fame was how damn ambidextrous he was. Most boxers, they favor their left or right, but not him. He could knock a guy out with either fist, so they never knew what was coming. Every week he’d come in and visit us sick kids. When I was in better health, we'd wrestle in the common rooms. Whenever I was too weak to move much, when I'd lost all my hair and was puking my guts out, he'd tell me that I was in the middle of a match. If I kept fighting, if I kept winning, I was going to come out on top as the champion, and my health would be my belt."

Tears dotted the corners of Nicole’s eyes, what Santino had done for Jax was beautiful.

"That's— wow. I understand now."

"Santino told me I was a fighter, and when I was cancer free, I knew that I had to keep doing him proud. He was my role model. He filled the place my dad probably should've. And so when I got older, I started to hit the gym. I wanted to show the world I was a fighter, inside and out. I want to be the champ so I can help my ma and for all the kids just like me, who fight so hard in their own personal rings against their diseases. And now here I am, and I swear that I'm not gonna quit until I'm at the top."

"I never knew," Nicole murmured. "Jax, you should tell the UFL and let us use these details to promote you. This would make a great story to help hype your image."

But Jax shook his head.

"Nah. That's not how I work. I don't want people to look at me and think of a sick kid. And I don’t want their pity either. I'm the same as anyone else. When I win, the people who matter to me will know what I've done. Everyone else — well, I don't care about everyone else. People can think what they want."

The tension melted from Jax’s face. Just as confiding in him had helped Nicole move past her problems, sharing his story with her had done his soul good. Now, more than ever, Jax was attractive. On the outside he was a sculpted God, but on the inside he had the soul of a saint.

"This is all for Santino?"

"Santino and my mom. When I win, I'm going to buy my mom a house and help her pay back all my medical bills. Even all these years later, there's still back debt to pay. It's not cheap, having cancer. We didn't have insurance, either. Not at first, and even the plan we got wasn't all that good. I fight for Santino, I fight for the kids, and I fight for her. She's with me in everything I do, and I make sure the world knows it, uh, even if they don't really know it. My shorts, they're emerald green 'cuz that's my mom's name. Emerald."

There was no doubt in Nicole's mind that Jax would make it. Plenty of fighters talked big, but when it got down to it, lacked the will power they needed. Jax wasn't just blowing smoke — there was fire burning inside of him.

"That's so beautiful, Jax." Their eyes met again. Jax moved his hand from beneath her to weave their finger's together, and Nicole's heart jumped into her throat.

"Beautiful or not," he said, "it's what I gotta do. I owe so many people in this world, Nicole. I can't let them down."

Only when they'd finished their coffee did their hands part from one another. Conversation became less intense, but still rambled on and on.

When it was time to go, Jax walked her down the street to the bus stop. The sun was setting, and with it, the temperature began to plunge. Jax draped his training jacket over her shoulders. His musk was engrained in the jacket's fibers, and Nicole breathed in his scent.

"I had a good time today," Jax said, speaking softly. Everything about him made her feel wonderful. Every part of him was inspiring.

"I did, too," she whispered. Alone at the bus stop, they stood side by side, the heat of Jax's body keeping her just as warm as the jacket. Still, he didn’t draw her into his arms. He didn’t kiss her. He just stood beside her and Nicole felt peace wash over her.

"You're a good person and a strong woman, Nicole," Jax told her. "Don't let anyone, especially Kade, tell you that you’re not. You do what's best for you, don't worry about the rest."

What was best for her?
Nicole thought that what was best for her was standing right there at her side. Kind, driven, talented, attractive, Jax had it all. What she wouldn't give for him to draw her against his chest, to feel those hard lips on hers, leading her through a passionate kiss...

The bus arrived. The front door opened. Jax reached out and squeezed Nicole's hand, and a lingering gaze passed between them.

"Lady, you gettin' on?" the bus driver asked, and Nicole had to look away.

"Goodbye, Jax," she told him.

"Bye, Nicole," Jax replied.

Nicole climbed the few stairs into the bus. The doors closed with a woosh. When she sat by the window, Jax's jacket drawn around her shoulders like a shawl, she looked out to find him standing at the bus stop. When the bus moved on, she watched as the distance between them increased. Jax stood at the bus stop, watching her go, until she was too far away to see him.

With a sigh, Nicole clutched the jacket that much tighter and let the side of her head rest against the window.

T
he bus turned a corner
, and then she was gone.

Jax tucked his hands into the pockets of his pants and breathed out a sigh. Night crept forward from where it lurked on the horizon, bringing with it a new kind of chill. From pissed off at Kade to hanging off every word Nicole said, Jax's day had been a whirlwind of emotions. And in all the drama he still hadn’t met up with his personal trainer.

Eric was going to be pissed.

Not willing to waste any more time, Jax hefted his gym bag and headed for the gym. The location wasn't all that far from the hospital, and he'd picked it for that reason. It made visiting kids easy before or after training sessions.

At just a hair over fifty, Eric was too old to fight anymore, but in his prime, he'd gone head to head with Satan's Bane himself. Santino died of a heart attack before Jax was out of high school, so he'd never had the chance to ask him for any pointers. Instead, Jax turned to Eric. It was a thrill to be able to afford his services after struggling for the recognition Jax deserved in the bottom tiers for so long. After a no-show like today, though, Jax knew he was in for an earful.

Just the kind of earful Nicole should’ve given him.

The same mistakes he'd been reflecting on had been weighing on her as well. The threesome had been a mistake. That night, they’d thought with their bodies instead of their heads or their hearts. Since the first time he'd met her in that locker room in Brazil, she'd been on his mind next to non-stop. Now that they'd talked about their lives and he'd gotten to know her background that much better, it was more than her body he craved. Nicole was special. He could see she was a good person, a woman fueled by passion.

"You're an idiot," he chastised himself. Their night together at the party proved she was attracted to his body, but he wasn't sure her interest ran deeper than that. The relationship — if there was a relationship — was working in reverse, and barely working at that. Sex came after getting to know the other person for a reason, Jax realized. Now that they'd flipped the natural progression of things on its head, he had no way to gauge if her interest was genuine.

"A real idiot."

Around her, Jax felt light on his feet and switched on. She soothed the jumpiness in his soul and brought him down from his fighter's high. When Nicole was around, he couldn’t focus on anything else. And when she wasn't, his mind was pulled back to her.

The gym was just down the street now. Eric was off the clock in a few minutes, but Jax hoped to catch him to reschedule the missed session. With any luck, the old grouch would take pity on him and agree.

As Jax approached the gym, a man walking down the street in the opposite direction checked his shoulder. Hard. The force behind the hit let Jax know that it was intentional. Jax whirled around and grabbed the man by the shoulder before he could walk away.

"Get your fucking hand offa me, rookie," he snarled. Jax recognized the voice at the same time as he recognized his face.

Wes Kidwell, the current champion, was picking a fight with him a-fucking-gain.

"Apologize for checking me, asshole."

In and out of the ring, Wes was a prick. His bad boy persona wasn’t put on for the fans, he was rotten through and through. Unresolved anger burned fresh in Jax's soul, and he tensed himself, gearing up for a fight. No one was going to get away with treating him like trash. If that meant Wes needed to have some sense knocked into him, Jax would oblige without blinking an eye.

"Checking you?" Wes spat. "That's a laugh. Pansy-ass pretty boy got your panties in a bunch because we brushed shoulders? Cry me a fucking river. I guess I’d just need to push you in the cage and you'll go down."

It was no
brush
that they'd had. Jax knew a fucking shoulder check when he felt one. If Wes wanted him hyped up, he was going to get him hyped up. This time there was no one there to hold them back.

"I'm done," he growled. It was all the warning he gave before he dropped his gym bag and launched himself at Wes, fists clenched. The first blow hit the man square in the jaw, and the champion's head snapped to the side. But Wes wasn't going to be beat so easily. Even as his head snapped back, he slammed his fist upward and into Jax's stomach. Winded, Jax toppled forward onto him and used his body weight to push Wes off his feet on his way down. The two fell to the side walk, lashing out at each other like boys on the playground rather than trained fighters.

"MCCARTHY," a booming voice broke through their chaos. "KIDWELL, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, YOU'LL GET THE FUCK OFF EACH OTHER."

Eric.

Jax scrambled back, breathing hard. A thin trickle of blood streamed from one nostril, his knuckles raw. Wes' lip was split and already swelling up. He staggered to his feet and shot Eric a pointed stare.

"Fucking control your pets," Wes spat. He stormed off. Just like that the fight was over. Jax had landed a few good blows, but it hadn't been enough to satisfy his anger.

"McCarthy, what the fuck was that?" Eric asked. "You lookin' to get expelled from the UFL? Cause that's what'll happen to you if you do stupid shit like start fights outside the cage."

"I didn't start it," Jax insisted. "He checked my shoulder and—"

"I don't care if he hit you in the nuts," Eric cut in. "You gotta keep clean if you want to have a career, you understand? Just because some jerk gets away with twisting the rules and being an asshole doesn't mean you can, too."

Jax ran the back of his hand beneath his nose to clear the blood away and then shook it down at the pavement. Tiny red beads hit the ground.

"Yes, coach," he replied. The fire still burned inside, desperate to get out.

"I’m telling ya, stay away from Kidwell. He’s not in MMA because he had a passion for the sport, he just wants to hurt people. I can see it in his eyes and the way he hits. He's bad news. He won’t think twice about fucking you up, if you're not careful."

"Let him bring it," Jax growled. "I'm ready. I'll fuck him up."

Eric's palm met his face, and he huffed a loud, exaggerated sigh.

"It doesn't work like that. You're not ready, kid. You're still too green. We need more time training, and missing days like you did today isn't doing you any good."

"Just let me in the cage," Jax gnashed. "Let me at him in the cage, and I'll show all of them what I'm made of. I'm no fucking rookie!" Wes and Kade, both. No one was going to put him down any longer. Jax wouldn't let himself be walked over anymore.

"And you're no champ, either. Tomorrow we get back to training. We go hard. Then, maybe one day soon, you'll be ready for it. You understand?"

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough. Jax jogged the rest of the way home to burn off his adrenaline. The world didn't know what it was in for. Jax 'The Ax' McCarthy was on his way up, and no one was going to drag him back down.