FIGHTER: An MMA Romance Novel (11 page)

"So why'd you skip work this afternoon, anyway?" Benny asked. Nicole shook her head and sighed.

"It's complicated. I think I need to get my head on straight. I need to tackle a few issues in my life."

"Well, if you need to learn to tackle, you’re working in the right place,” Benny said with a shrug.

If only he knew.

I
t was always
the same routine every week. Focus on cardio and flexibility in the morning, then see his personal trainer in the afternoon to hone his skills. Every day he worked hard to take care of his body. Once a week, he did something for his soul. Kade threw a wrench in his plan, but once Jax had got his head on straight, he realized he couldn't cut this week’s hospital visit. No matter how he felt on the inside, the kids depended on him to show up.

What kind of guy could call himself a man if he ignored the kids that counted on him?
Jax didn't know, and he wasn’t going to find out. He’d work his frustration out at the gym after a visit. For some kids, this might be the last chance he got to see them before they were bedridden. Or worse. Jax didn't want to think about it.

Already over an hour late, Jax checked in with the nurse at the front desk and hurried down the corridor. Kids who heard his footsteps peeped out from their doors. One by one, the kids left their rooms and ran for the common room, calling his name and laughing. Even the bad mood Kade infected him with was no match against the uninhibited joy of youth. Jax was glad he showed up after all.

"Jax, we thought you weren't gonna show today," one of the boys cried out as he ran down the hall. "A lot of us went back to our rooms. I'm so glad you're here now!"

"Me too, bud," Jax assured him.

"Up, please!" one of the smaller kids demanded, lifting his arms skywards. Jax obeyed without second though, well trained. In moments the kid was up and over his shoulders.

"How's everyone doing today?" he asked. The same group of parents sat in chairs along the back of the room, not looking up from their phones. Disconnected, drained, Jax knew they depended on him to give them a break from looking after their sick kids. Being on duty at all hours of the day to look after a child wasn't easy under the best circumstances. Jax respected each of them even if not one of them said hello. He couldn't blame them. Once, his mother struggled to keep her eyes open as they went through the same kind of situation. There was no need to place blame when there was none.

"Good!" came the chorus of youthful replies. Jax's eyes swept the crowd. All of the regulars had assembled. Jeff, Will, Peter, Lacey, Chrissy... But not Abby.

"Abby got released?" he asked.

"No. Her dad took her back to her room. Said she had to take it easy," one of the kids replied. That didn't sound good. Jax hoped the kid was going to pull through stronger than ever.

When the door to the common room opened and Abby ran in, his fears were put to rest.

"Hey Abby. I was wondering where you were," Jax said. Now that the crew had assembled, they could get down to having fun.

Only the door opened again, and someone very far from routine entered the room.

Nicole Washington.

Jax's mind seized. All he could do was stand and stare, unable to comprehend her presence. Nicole didn't seem like the kind of woman who had kids, yet here she was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him. Jax wanted to ask her the same thing, but a creeping suspicion whispered that he already knew. Abby looked a hell of a lot like Nicole. Benny's last name was Washington. The pieces were falling into place at the same time as Jax's heart was falling into pieces.

He wasn't the type of guy who had senseless sex. He wasn't the type of guy who had threesomes. And he definitely wasn't the kind of guy who took another man's wife into bed. If that was the case, he had to tell Benny right away and in private.

"I—"

Kids tugged at the hem of his shirt, the legs of his pants, and his hands, but all of his attention was on the woman who made his heart beat like he was in the ring.

Jax jumped in to Nicole's defense, then thought poorly of himself for it. If she cheated on her husband, she didn't deserve his sympathy. Somehow, no matter how many times he told himself as much, he couldn't convince himself to accept it. When at last he found reason to bring up the topic naturally, Jax's heart raced as he waited for a response.

Sister.

The relief was instantaneous. Jax wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn't helped a woman cheat on her husband, or because that meant Nicole might still be available.

Several of the children drew his attention away, and Jax devoted himself to giving them the best he had. It was time for a promised game of Takedown, and he wasn't about to lose. Yet, he couldn’t stop sneaking glances at Nicole from across the room. Perhaps it was his imagination, but he could have sworn she was watching him back.

What was a girl like her doing with a jerk like Kade? Heart, brains, and a killer body all in one, Nicole wasn't like anyone else. At least not like any girl he’d ever met. She deserved better than Kade Holland. It ate at him that she couldn't see that, she couldn't see through Kade's act.
The man was a pig. A low life. What Jax wouldn't give to drag him into the cage.

"Takedown!" Another kid met the ground, laughing wildly and flailing his arms. Jax rustled his hair before he stood, sneaking another look at Nicole.
Stunning.

"Jaaaax, you'll never catch me!" Abby called to him from across the room. Jax waited for the correction he knew was on its way. "I mean, Mr. Jaaaax."

It was a challenge he wasn't going to ignore. Jax took off across the room and chased her, letting Abby get away from him a few times before he swept her up in his arms and then lowered her to the floor.

He’d never noticed the resemblance between Abby and Nicole before. Now that he'd seen the two of them together, there was no escaping it. Washington blood ran strong through Abby's veins. All this time, he'd been sharing a connection with Nicole he had no idea existed.

What he wouldn't give to go back in time and take back the decision he'd made at the party.
Nicole probably thought he was no better than Kade was, just a greasy scumbag treating her like a quick lay.
Jax still wasn't sure just what he wanted, but he knew that whatever it was, it was more than that.

Caught up in his thoughts, some of the kids took advantage and tackled him to the ground. Jax dodged landing on Abby and let himself be buried. Play sessions like this tended to end in his defeat, but Jax didn't mind. What mattered was that the kids had a good time. It felt like the least he could do after all of the care he was provided as a child.

The nurse who monitored the room clucked her tongue and approached the swarm.

"I think that's more than enough play for right now. Everyone needs to go back to their rooms and take it easy."

The chorus of disappointed groans she received made Jax laugh.

"I promise I'll be back next week," he told them all. "And next time, I'll be on time. I'm sorry about being late today, guys."

"It's okay, Jax," one of the kids assured him. They all murmured in agreement as the crowds dispersed. Abby joined her father, and the two were saying goodbye to Nicole. Shy little Abby took Nicole's hand in her own and looked hesitant to let go.

"I wish you could come stay with us at my house," Abby said. "I miss it. It feels like I've been in the hospital forever, Auntie Nicole."

"I know sweetheart," Nicole whispered in kind. "I wish it could be that way, too. You'll just have to promise me to listen to all your doctors and nurses so you can get better as fast as you can. You’ll be home in no time and I'll come for a sleepover. We can give each other makeovers."

Even at a distance, Jax saw how Abby's face lit up. The connection between them was strong. Nicole's heart was showing through more than ever.

"I'm going to get better really soon so we can hang out, then!" Abby promised. "Jax tells me that I'm a fighter, just like him. That we all are. I'm gonna knock out my stupid disease!"

"That's my girl," Nicole whispered. She stooped down and pressed a kiss to Abby's cheek. "Go show it who's boss. I believe in you."

"You'd better!" Abby said with a grin. "See you soon, Auntie Nicole."

"See you soon."

When the final goodbyes were said, he'd already slipped out into the hall. The last few kids to leave the room all said their goodbyes as they filed past him, including Abby, while Jax hesitated by the door. By all rights he should have kept on with his day and gone straight to the gym to train for his next match, but a feeling inside told him to stay.

At last, Nicole emerged from the common room. Arms crossed over her chest, head down, it didn't take a smart man to see that she was upset. Jax, who had been leaning on the wall as we waited for her to appear, picked himself up and caught her by the arm. When his palm touched her exposed skin, a jolt ran through him and buried itself somewhere deep. Since day one he'd felt something similar, but it was intense to feel it even after their heated night together. Nicole jumped and looked up at him, eyes misted over with tears.

"Are you okay?" As soon as the words left his mouth, Jax mentally kicked himself. Of course she wasn't okay. She was crying in a children’s hospital. "I know Abby's been in and out a lot over the last few years, but this time she seems more upbeat and quick to recover than any other time. Is uh, is there something I don't know?"

"No, Abby's going to be fine," Nicole replied. With care she took her arm away, dodging his gaze. "There's no cure, but she’ll get through this bad patch. The medical treatments here are superb."

"Then why do you look so sad?" Their bodies separated, Jax let his hand fall to his side. If Nicole didn't want to be touched, he wouldn't push the issue. He was happy she'd allowed herself to be stopped at all.

"I—" Nicole's eyes darted up to look at him, then darted away. Tears rimmed her bottom lids, ready to fall. Whatever was eating her up from the inside was getting worse the more time went on, and talking wasn't helping.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"It's just," she breathed, "everything is so messed up right now." There was a pitch to Nicole's voice that Jax knew was sorrow waiting to escape. On the surface, Nicole was holding herself together with everything she had. It was only a matter of time before she broke beneath the pressure. "Visiting Abby today and seeing all she's going through, it just, it put a lot of things in perspective for me. I can learn a lot from that little girl. She has to be the strongest person I know. My problems are stupid compared to what she’s going through.”

There were a lot of things Jax wanted to say.

He wanted to tell her that every struggle was hard, no matter how it stacked up against another person's. He wanted to tell her that whatever it was that was the matter, it'd get better. He wanted to tell her that it was okay to feel upset when life was hard, and that sometimes a good cry was important.

But he just stood there.

The sad slant to her eyes and the way her lips trembled, delicate and vulnerable, tore at his soul and spurred him to take action rather than talk. Jax wanted nothing more than to draw her into his arms to chase the pain away.

"Things are gonna get better." Compared to the thoughts bouncing in his head, it felt like a weak thing to say. A tear gathered and fell down her cheek. Jax watched as it dangled beneath her jaw, not ready to break free.

Jax shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
There was a clear shot at what he wanted, but should he take it when she was in a state like this?
For his own piece of mind, he decided he had to, and asked the question.

"Come out to coffee with me, and let's talk about what's going on, okay? It'll make you feel better to talk to someone about what's going on."

But even as he spoke the words, Jax felt like he had a pretty good idea of what the problem might be. The way Nicole dodged his gaze. He knew he was part of the problem

"Okay," she said with a little nod.

Jax hoped that after they talked, she’d never see him as a problem again.

"
A
nd so when
I came here from Boston, I didn't really think about the future, you know?" The bottom of the coffee mug clinked against the coaster. Nicole gazed down into the milky liquid and tried to collect her racing thoughts. Since they'd sat down her thoughts had gone off in thousands of directions. Through it all, Jax had been patient and understanding. He was as impressive a listener as he was a fighter.

"All my life up until then was about the party. When I thought about settling down young like my brother and raising a family, I got sick to my stomach. That kind work and responsibility, I wasn't ready for at all. When Benny moved to Las Vegas with his wife and Abby, I got excited that I had an excuse to move somewhere where it was all party, all the time. Benny's wife got me a job at the casino she works at, and I went hard, did my own thing, lived like there was no tomorrow..."

"So why'd you stop?" Jax had both of his hands curled around his mug. Those pale blue eyes Nicole adored gazed deep into hers, seeking answers she wasn’t sure she had.
Why had she stopped?

"There was no future at the casino, so I started looking for a job where I could grow. The UFL got back to me and gave me a position. And even then, I went out to party with my friends. But I... I met this woman, in the bathroom at one of the clubs we like to go to. She must have been forty something. She was in bad shape in the bathroom. She just let some guy use her up and she was slurring drunk, sitting on the toilet... I knew I had to start changing my ways. But I didn't have my heart in it. I didn't want to. I didn't have any real reason to. Life was the same as it had always been. Why would I stop partying when I had it so good?"

Jax raised the mug to his lips and sipped, breaking eye contact for just a moment. While Nicole gathered her thoughts. Since they sat down in the cafe, she'd been spilling her guts. Hours melted away.

"Is that where you are now?" he asked as he set the mug back down. "Sort of caught between your old life you still want, and the life you think you need to make your own?"

"I guess," Nicole murmured. "Except, well, except I think that I may have found the reason I need to stop. Or, I'm finding it right now."

The silence was deafening. Nicole's pulse raced in her ears, anxiety twisted high in her chest to choke her.

"What do you think it is?" Jax asked, careful to keep his tone neutral.

"Well, I mean," Nicole sighed. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it right. "You kind of already know, anyway. What changed was that I started to work at the UFL, and I met Kade."

If Jax had a comment, he kept it to himself. It was no surprise, really. Kade was as much Jax's boss as he was Nicole's. Kade was the man who could make or break a career.

"I think it was my third day there when he surprised me with an all-expenses paid trip to Brazil. I was floored. Ever since the interview he'd been flirting with me in all these little ways, and I mean, he's a handsome guy. A really handsome guy. And it's not like I'm inexperienced with men who want to use women, but the more time went on, the more I began to doubt that Kade was like that. It's not any guy who takes a girl to Brazil, you know, even if there is a little bit of work to do. Then he bought me a dress, a big name couture dress. It was probably worth ten thousand dollars, if not more. That was the dress I wore to the party on Friday."

A nod of his head showed Jax still listened. The further she'd progressed with her story, the further his features had tightened.

"I thought that maybe he was falling for me. I imagined what a future with him might be like. I knew it didn’t quite fit right, but I imagined we'd still have fun together.”

The curt nod from Jax was almost sharp from how clinical it was.
Had she hurt him?
Nicole studied his face for a moment before she continued.

"Then today...Today he was a different person. The man I thought I knew disappeared. Kade is a pig. A disgusting, crude, selfish pig. Men like that are the reason I have to stop doing what I'm doing. And now here I am, seated across from a man who must think I'm an idiot after all my bad choices. I... I swear, I regret the things that I've done. I regret pulling you into this. You must think I'm terrible."

Both mugs of coffee set down, Nicole's hands folded loosely in front of her on the table. Jax's hard expression broke, and he placed his hands on hers. A squeeze dispelled the tension, and Nicole looked up into his eyes, surprised with his tenderness. Pins and needles crept across her skin where his palms met the backs of her hands.

"All I think is that you're a young woman who isn't, or wasn't, afraid to have fun. Life is short, and if you don't enjoy it while you can, you never truly live. I don’t think badly of you for being young."

The words alleviated some of Nicole's anxiety, but words were often cheap.
Did Jax really think that after how eagerly she'd jumped in bed with both him and Kade?

"Even after, well, what happened Friday night?" she asked.

"Let me put it this way," Jax said, still holding her hands. The pins and needles spread past her wrists and towards her elbows, creeping ever onward as he kept touching her. There was a magic between them that she couldn’t get enough of. "Do you think I’m an idiot after what happened on Friday?"

"No, of course not," Nicole replied.

"I made the same choice you did," Jax said, "in the same state of mind you were in, and with the same reasons. If you don't think any less of me, then why should I think any less of you? Both of us decided that this was right for us, and it doesn't change what I think about you at all."

What I think about you.

Nicole's heart fluttered.
What exactly did Jax think about her?
All this time he'd been so sweet and sincere. But she had misjudged Kade, and she didn’t want to make a mistake like that again. If Jax did feel something for her, he would wait. If he didn't, he'd move on and she'd figure it out as his attitude changed. When the time was right, she'd know.

"Thank you," she said, somewhat stunned. "It's... I guess I'm used to guys who assume all girls are saints or whores. I like to think of myself as a nice medium, you know, just enough fun and just enough serious. I just wish more people were as understanding as you."

When Jax smiled, Nicole felt herself light up as well. Not only was the man a godsend for the children at Starward's, but he was a blessing she felt she didn't deserve. When times had become too tough for her to handle, Nicole had sought the comforts of family. There, she'd found Jax. She felt like it had to be more than a coincidence. Fate was at play between them.

"You know what?" she asked. "I've been talking for literally hours about my life. You probably know me better than any other person alive right now. I think it's time I return the favor and let you talk."

"Ah, well, I mean, I'm not all that interesting," Jax insisted. "It was really no problem at all to listen to your problems. I didn't even offer you any kind of solution, really. If you can’t listen to someone when they’re hurting, what good are you?”

"Nope." Nicole shook her head, "An ear for an ear. I want to hear what you have to say. I want to know you better, too. If you think you're so uninteresting, then I'll interview you. Ask you some questions. Okay?"

Jax's smile grew, and he drew his hands back to cross in front of him on the table as though to brace himself. The pins and needles in Nicole's arms died down, except where the heat of his hands lingered on her skin.

"I guess I don't have a choice. Ask away."

Coffee was forgotten. Nicole set her sights on Jax, thinking of what to ask him. Even if it turned out they weren't compatible, she'd at least learn important information on what was likely to be one of her star fighters.

There was nothing to lose.