Fever Pitch (8 page)

“What?” I felt the heat rise up my neck.
Why am I getting embarrassed? Really?

“I just love watching you.”

“Yeah, well I love watching you too.” I matched his sentiment, but my mind was on Emily and her mad cooking skills, a tinge of jealousy simmered.
Stop it!
I told the voices in my head as they argued with each other; one coaxing me to inquire more about her and the other telling me to relax.

Jake’s phone was ringing. He picked it up and stared at the screen blinking a few times, thinking and decided not to answer it.

“Who was that? My dad?” I laughed ironically.

He placed the phone on the counter. “Nah, thank God. It was the guys.” Jake moved behind me, wrapping his strong arms around me. “I’m supposed to be at rehearsal.”

I huffed, straining to look up at him. “Jake, you have to go. They’re waiting for you.”

“Time just got away from me.” He nestled his nose into the nape of neck. “I’ll text Dump and let him know I’m sick.”

“Don’t lie, that’s bad energy.”

“It’s not a lie, I’m sick in the head for you.”

I hadn’t heard Dump’s name in years, and it made me think of Sienna. They were to be married after she graduated. I never heard anything, not that I wanted to. I purposely stayed away from any social media and basically disappeared from my Jake life after he left me crumpled in my driveway and they all moved to New York. At the time I didn’t want to know anything about any of them, ever again.

“How are Dump and Sienna? Did they get married?”

“Yep.” He gave me a firm squeeze then released me and walked across the room to an armoire.

“And?”

“And they’re married. What?” His back remained facing me as he dug around the cabinet, totally unconcerned about my inquiry. He didn’t get that girls wanted to know everything when they’ve asked a question.

“Well…” and I thought about what. “Are they happy? Do they have a kid yet? Is she still super groovy looking? I don’t know.” I shrugged.

Jake pulled on his own set of comfy loungewear. “Yeah to all of those, except the kid thing.”

I waited for more info. “Is she here?”

“Yes, right now she is. She goes back and forth.”

“What does she do?”

“She’s a model.”

Of course she is.
“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t look all goth anymore. She looks great; you wouldn’t recognize her. She has long hair now and it’s not black anymore...it’s brown.” He glanced back at me. “Kinda like yours.”

“Wow.” I was dying to see what she looked like. “Do you have a picture?”

“Nope.”

“I’m sure Dump does. I can’t wait to see what she looks like.” I spun around and looked into the oven. The smell of baking food filled my head, making my stomach grumble with pronounced hunger.

Jake was stoking the fire, teasing it back into a mad roar. I was the happiest I’d been in years. A ping chimed from Jake’s phone and all that happiness froze in an instant.

Sophia.

I stared at it and blinked over and over again, as if I might be hallucinating.

What. The. Fuck. He asked me to marry him, he asked me to marry him, he asked me to marry him,
I chanted in my head.

By the look on his face, he knew whom it was by its probable assigned tone, chosen just for her. He ran his hand through his hair. Great, he was agitated or nervous. A gesture that always gave him away.
He walked toward me, and I couldn’t look at him. I had no idea what to think. So I just blurted out what I was thinking.

“She obviously doesn’t know you were planning to be with me, let alone asking me to marry you,” I said, staring into the oven, watching the cheese bubble violently. My throat grew thick with jealousy, anger and I don’t know what else, thinking about Nicole’s revelations right before I left. “Or maybe she does and she doesn’t give a shit because she’s just
that
kinda girl.”

“Stop it, Aly.”

“What?” I whipped around to meet his gaze. “What’s going on with that? Does she even know about me?”

He inhaled deeply, throwing his head back. “She knows about you, yes.”

“And? Is she really your girlfriend? You told me she wasn’t.”

“Aly, it’s not cut and dry, ok. This thing with you is years in the making, and so was my relationship with her.”

“Is she your girlfriend or not?” I raised my voice, totally unlike me. “Don’t fucking play games with me.”

“Hypothetically, yes, I suppose she used to be my girlfriend.”

“Used to be? Does she know I’m here?”

He paused.
Mhmm, clearly she didn’t.
“No, but we’re not exclusive, Aly. We never were, and I’ve always told her that I couldn’t have that kind of relationship.”

I knew he was telling me the truth, but it still didn’t make me feel better. She was still in the picture and in contact with him. I felt like I was in high school again; well, I was still in high school. I took in a deep breath and held it. He continued to explain.

“Sophia and I are friends, Aly. We were friends for a
very
long time before we became romantic. She knows all about you. She was there during those dark days of me trying to get over you.”

I gulped, feeling a bit foolish for allowing my emotions and jealously to control me. I felt kind of sorry for her. “When are you gonna tell her?”

“When I get back to New York. I don’t want to be insensitive, Aly, come on.”

I battled with wanting to go off on him. What had he been thinking? It all seemed so erratic. Here he planned this elaborate welcome for me, with plans of a marriage proposal, and at the same time he had some poor girl waiting for him in New York.

“You know how crazy this all sounds.”

“Our whole relationship has always been crazy.” He hung his head, then met my eyes. “I’m sorry. I can only deal with one thing at a time, Aly. I didn’t know how all this with you was gonna go down. It’s all a fantasy, with you. A dream. It always has been. It’s almost like I didn’t believe it would really happen. You know, you had your life before you came here, don’t act like you didn’t.”
Zing, ouch.
“You’re all I want. You have to know that.”

In that moment my ill feelings began to ebb. He was right. “But I broke it off with Nathan.”

He smiled softly. “You’re better for this than I am, then.”

“Looks like you have two things to deal with. Telling your guys you won’t be there tonight, and telling Sophia about me.” I turned back to the oven and turned the heat up to 400.

“I’ll take care of it. I promise, by the time you come to New York.” He rubbed at his knitted brow. “I don’t want this to be a
thing
, like, I don’t want you to harp on it. I haven’t seen her in months. We don’t live together, we never have. She knows I’d been seeing someone here too…I mean, I am only human.” He half-laughed, shaking his head. “I’ve never lied to her. I just choose not to tell her things because, why? It would only make her feel bad. I just need to take care of this my way, ok?”

“I won’t say another word about it.” I smiled at him, uneasy, telling myself to trust him.

“Come here, beautiful. After everything, all these years, you’re still the one,” he sweet-talked.

I melted into his arms, and soon after I was in that tingling, gratifying place I was so desperate for earlier.

11

I woke to hearing Jake’s voice. He was arguing with someone on the phone, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. I looked at the clock, and it was 11 in the morning. I’d never slept that late in my life. The time change was clearly the instigator. I felt like I was floating, moving in slow motion, and I was thirsty. The fire was roaring and crackling. I snuggled back in under the covers, listening to Jake’s pitchy tone.

“Look, man, I’m sorry. I’m sick. I’m not gonna be able to be there today either. I’ll let you know about tomorrow, too.”
A long silence
, “Mhmm, yeah? Really?”
A longer pause.
“Oh man, yeah something must be goin’ around. Sorry to hear it. You goin’ to the doctor? Ok, I’ll call the guys and let them know we’ll take a break for a couple of days. Alright, feel better, man. Later.”
Jake disconnected the call and I looked over at him. His gaze met mine.

“Hey, Alycat.” He smiled a lopsided grin. “You sleep good?”

“Yeah. Will you please get me a glass of water, since you’re in the kitchen?” I said as sweetly as I could and stretched out.

“Anything for you, darlin’,” he replied, his tone making me giggle. “What’s so funny?” He smirked, waggling his eyebrows. He turned and filled a glass with water from the fridge dispenser.

“You and your country bumpkin-ness.”

He laughed, walking over and handing me the filled glass. “What? You don’t like it, sweetheart?” he replied in an even more pronounced twang.

I overlooked his playfulness, taking a huge gulp. I was eager to know about what Dump had to say. “Is everything okay with the guys?”

He shrugged. “Ehh, Dump’s sick.”

“Aww,” I sympathized.

Jake crawled back in bed, spooning me. “Yeah, he started to give me a hard time about not calling or answering, but then when I said I was sick, he backed off and admitted he was sick, too.”

“I hope you don’t get sick.”

“Nah, he’s been kinda sick for a while, sneezing and coughing; complaining about being tired.” He squeezed me. “So what do you wanna do today?”

I thought about it and then I gasped, sitting up. “It snowed!” I darted out of the bed to the window and laid my eyes on fresh white powder. It covered every roof top and surface as far as my eyes could see, and it was still coming down. “I wanna go walk in the snow!”

Jake moaned and buried his face in the pillow. His bare arms and back were exposed. For a second, I thought about crawling back into the warmth and loving depths of him, but there would be plenty of time for that later. Besides, the girlfriend down there still needed to relax. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about having Jake inside me again anytime soon. I was still too tender.

After about twenty minutes of him watching me go in and out of the shower, putting my clothes on, drying my hair and begging me to come back to bed, he finally realized I was dead serious about going out when I began putting my boots on. He reluctantly threw the covers off of him and sulked into the bathroom, turning on the shower. I stood next to the window, staring longingly outside like a dog waiting to go for a walk.

Then that familiar ping of a text message coming from Jake’s phone sounded out and my stomach sank.
Sophia
. The water from the shower was still running. Jake couldn’t have heard it. I stared at Jake’s phone sitting on the counter top from my window perch and my curiosity got the best of me. Before I knew I was standing next to it, the phone and I were having a stare-off. My heart raced as I looked at it, wanting to touch it. I gulped looking over my shoulder. The screen was black. If I just touched the little button, it would light up, and I could probably read some of what she’d sent.

Don’t do it. Don’t do it, Aly.

But I did it anyway and I wished I hadn’t at the same moment:

-
       
WHERE ARE YOU? MISS YOU. PLANNING TO COME SEE YOU
…

I wanted to vomit.

The sound of the shower finally turned off and I dashed back to the window.
What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK!
Ugh, now I wished I’d never looked. My legs were shaking and I struggled desperately to calm myself. Half of me wanted to cry and the other half wanted to destroy something.
Should I say something? I can’t. I CANNOT
. I had to trust him. I thought of Sophia and my whole world at that moment reverted back to my freshman year and Rachel. God damn you, Jake!

I sucked in a deep breath and turned to face him as he dug around in his closet case for something to wear. I was in la-la land. Finally, Jake was standing at his front door, staring at me.

“Hello, Aly? You ok?” His voiced echoed, unpleasing, in my ear.

I gave him a forced smile.
Act normal
. “Yeah, of course.” I was now hardly excited to go anywhere. I was obsessing about Sophia and her planned visit. I was now watching Jake like a hawk. His phone was still sitting on the counter. Would he take it? I wanted him to see her text. I wanted to spy the reaction on his face when he read the message.

I grabbed my coat from the sofa, putting it on. My insides riled in uneasiness as I walked over grabbing my bag from off the bed, all the while giving quick glances at Jake and his phone sitting on the counter.  I was all bundled up and Jake smiled warmly at me. All I could do was give him a tight grin back, stuffing my hands in my coat pockets trying not to pout. I so badly wanted to scream out,
Sophia sent you another text!

“Do you have a hat and gloves? Be careful what you wish for, Alycat, it’s a cold one.”

“Yep. In my bag.” I strode past him as he held the door open for me. He was right. We weren’t even outside yet, and the temperature in the hallway was cold. I turned back to face him, and before the door shut I blurted out, “Do you have your phone? Can you check if my Dad called or something? I haven’t heard back from him on mine.” And I hadn’t.

“Oh shit. Hold up.” Jake said, disappearing back into his flat, leaving me with the sound of a firm door slam echoing in my ears.

One. Two. Three. Four seconds. Ten seconds. 30 seconds. He had to be reading the text. Finally the door opened and I could see it in his eyes as he stared into mine. He smiled weakly at me.

“Nothing from your dad.”

Uh huh, what about anyone else?

I spun on my heels walking towards the elevator. “Ok, I’ll text him again.” I felt sort of triumphant for a short second, but wondered what Jake must be thinking and if he’d say anything to me. He stood beside me and placed his arm around my shoulder. I closed my eyes when I felt his lips against my temple, and his gesture prompted me to stare at the ring on my finger.