The Girl He Left Behind
Read The Girl He Left Behind Online
Authors: Shilpa Suraj
Leaning against his car, long legs crossed negligently in front of him, looking like he had all the time in the world, was the one person she’d thought she’d never see again.
She slammed the door shut quickly. ‘Big difference between harmless daydreams and hallucinations, Sia, pull it together. You don’t have time for this.’ Leaning against the door with her eyes closed, she took a couple of deep breaths and opened the door again. He was still there, God help her!
Ryan Mathur, looking for all the world like he belonged right there in her driveway. ‘Hey Sia’ the same self-deprecating smile with his dimple winking at her flashed. For a minute there, the six years that had passed didn’t exist. Six years, four months and twenty two days give or take.
‘What do you want, Ryan?’ That came out more stiffly than intended. So much for pretending to be nonchalant!
‘I just got back into town. I thought I would come by and say hi.’ Straightening, he took a few steps towards her.
‘Okay. You’ve said hi. You can leave now.’ She walked past him to unlock her car. Quick getaways, however, weren’t her forte apparently. Glumly, she stared at the cupboard keys she held in her hand. Yep, it definitely wasn’t going to help her unlock her car and zoom away with style and careless disdain.
SHILPA
was a year and a half when she was first introduced to the world of books. Her mother would park her with a picture book on the floor of the kitchen while she finished her cooking for the day. While it’s no longer the kitchen floor, you can still find her tucked away in a cosy nook somewhere with her nose buried in a book. While books in all genres interest her, it was romance that captured her heart. While racing through every romantic fiction book she could beg, borrow or buy, her over active imagination started to work overtime and weave its own stories. Years in the corporate world followed by a stint of entrepreneurship crystallised her belief that all she really wanted to do was give life to the stories bubbling inside of her. She briefly managed to tear herself away from the world of fiction to find her own personal happily ever after and now spends her time happily focusing on the two loves of her life – family and writing romances.
To my parents,
Your unconditional love, support and understanding are the bedrock of who and what I am.
If I can be even half the person either of you are, I’d consider myself blessed.
He’d kissed her! She was in love with her best friend in the whole world and life couldn’t possibly be more perfect. Delighted, Sia let out a laugh and twirled around like a maniac in the middle of her bedroom. Slightly dizzy, she flopped face down on the bed. Smiling dreamily, she could still feel his hands cradling her face as he’d leaned in and brought her lips to his. Sighing, Sia lifted one hand to touch her lips. Just then the doorbell rang, jolting her out of her daydream.
‘You’re back early.’
It took her a second to register that it was Ryan and not her parents back from their dinner party. On a rush of pleasure, she threw her arms around him and held on tight. This night was just getting more perfect, if that was possible. Even the sultry, humid weather that enveloped them as they stood on the threshold and that every Chennai native tried hard to be blasé about couldn’t dampen her mood. Beaming like an idiot, she stepped back.
‘Come in. Mom and dad aren’t home yet. I know I’m starting work tomorrow and should get a good night’s sleep but I’d rather stay up chatting with you till they get back.’ She was halfway down the corridor before she realized he wasn’t following her. Puzzled, she retraced her steps until she was standing in front of him again.
‘Ryan, come in.’ Tugging at his hand, she tried to pull him inside but couldn’t budge him from his spot on the stoop.
‘Sia, I’m leaving.’
Anxiety fluttered in her stomach as she studied his remote expression.
‘What’s wrong? You only just got here.’ When she didn’t get an immediate response, she said, ‘Okay.’ Uneasy, she rubbed her arms against the sudden chill gripping her, the sultry heat of the night barely making its presence felt now. ‘If you don’t want to come in now, we can meet tomorrow. I doubt I’ll be working late on my first day at work. I’ll call as soon as I finish and we can go out for a meal. Let’s go somewhere special. My treat.’
‘I’m not coming back.’
She heard the words but didn’t understand them. They didn’t make sense.
‘Is this a joke? Because it isn’t funny.’ Grabbing his shirt, Sia tried to bring him closer. ‘What do you mean you’re not coming back?’ A hesitant laugh escaped her as she gave his shirt a light shake.
Exhaling hard, Ryan lifted his hands to pry her fingers open and take a step back. ‘It’s not a joke. I’m going to Mumbai to stay with relatives. I’m not coming back. I wanted to tell you in person.’
‘Why?’ A paralysing numbness spread over her as she read the resolve in his face.
‘This job I got through campus isn’t right for me. I need to do this. I have to make this move.’
‘But, earlier-’
‘Earlier was a mistake.’ Ryan interrupted harshly. He needed her to understand and accept this. If she didn’t, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t walk away from her.
‘We love each other.’
Her whisper broke his heart. With what was left of his resolve,
he shook his head. ‘It was a mistake. We should have just stayed friends. Anything more won’t work between the two of us. You deserve better. You should find someone who can give you so much more in life.’
‘I want you!’ Tears were starting to well but she wasn’t going to let them fall. Her body quivering with the effort to will them back, she reached out and rested her palm against his thudding heart.
Anguish at the hurt and confusion swimming in her big, doe eyes had him raising a hand to cover hers and taking a step towards her. Trying desperately to find his resolve in the maelstrom of emotion swirling through him, he stopped an inch away from her and swallowed hard. Knowing what he had to do and why, he steeled himself to say, ‘I don’t.’
‘You don’t what?’ Her dazed eyes lifted to his as her first tears escaped.
‘I don’t want this. I don’t want you.’
Motionless, she stared at him, tears running unchecked down her face. When her hand slowly slid away from his heart, he pivoted and walked away. She stayed where she was, watching, until he disappeared out of sight and into the night. He never looked back.
Blissfully clueless as to what the day had in store for her, Sia woke to the loud voice coming from her alarm clock. Some hilarious person thought that giving her a clock that spoke was funny.
‘Good Morning! It’s six a.m.’ it announced in a high pitched falsetto. It didn’t bring a smile to Sia’s face but it got the job done.
Not being one of those cheerful morning people meant sleepwalking through her morning routine. The phone was ringing as she stepped out of the shower. She grabbed it on her way to her lifesaving cup of coffee. One of the benefits of living in South India was the coffee. Fragrant, flavourful, wonderful filter coffee. Taking a deep sip, she answered her phone.
‘Morning Mom,’ the smile in her voice filtered through as she settled in to listen to her mother’s update for the day.
Sia was effortlessly beautiful. Dressed casually in blue jeans and a yellow t-shirt, her face free of even a scrap of makeup, her long wavy black hair tumbled down her back. Her large black eyes framed by ridiculously long eyelashes and a toned body made most men get whiplash trying to get a second look.
With her bottom sticking up in the air as part of her daily search for the car keys, she huffed ‘Mom, I’m on my way out. Why don’t I call you when I’m done with my day?’
‘Sure sweetheart. Drive carefully. Love you.’ As always, her mother’s voice sent a pang of homesickness through her. She was living in her childhood home but home to her would always be with her parents and wherever they were. When they decided to retire to a beach house a couple of hours away, she’d felt the fabric of her life rip a little. Just a bit but it was there. Grabbing the keys from under the couch, God knows how they got there; she shoved wistful thoughts out of her mind and headed out to face the day.
She opened her front door and walked right into the past. Leaning against his car, long legs crossed negligently in front of him, looking like he had all the time in the world, was the one person she’d thought she’d never see again. She slammed the door shut quickly. ‘Big difference between harmless daydreams and hallucinations, Sia, pull it together. You don’t have time for this.’ Leaning against the door with her eyes closed, she took a couple of deep breaths and opened the door again. He was still there, God help her!
Ryan Mathur, looking for all the world like he belonged right there in her driveway. ‘Hey Sia’ the same self-deprecating smile with his dimple winking at her flashed. For a minute there, the six years that had passed didn’t exist. Six years, four months and twenty two days give or take.
‘What do you want, Ryan?’ That came out more stiffly than intended. So much for pretending to be nonchalant!
‘I just got back into town. I thought I would come by and say hi.’ Straightening, he took a few steps towards her.
‘Okay. You’ve said hi. You can leave now.’ She walked past him to unlock her car. Quick getaways, however, weren’t her forte apparently. Glumly, she stared at the cupboard keys she held in her hand. Yep, it definitely wasn’t going to help her unlock her car and zoom away with style and careless disdain.
‘Problem?’ Came an amused drawl from behind her. She shut
her eyes tight and pinched herself. Nope, didn’t work. Still had her cupboard keys in her hand and her nemesis standing behind her.
Maybe refusing to answer him would make him go away. Throwing him a fulminating look, she marched back into the house to find the car keys. Spying the bright yellow key ring peeking out from near the sink in the bathroom, she grabbed it and turned to head out. Only, God, she didn’t want to go back out. How was she going to handle this? Shoving him to the back of her mind was one thing when he was far away. Dealing with the living breathing entity in her driveway was something else.
Six years. Six long years. She’d married, divorced, carved out a successful career in the middle of the shambles of her personal life and spent almost every other minute of those chaotic years missing him. Over time, she’d pushed the memories to the back of her mind but they’d lurked there, ready to ambush her in her weakest moments and there had been plenty of those.
Struggling for composure, she tried desperately to get a handle on the poise and dignity she’d worked so hard to build over the years. Chic and sophisticated was what she was going to be. She would be polite and distant and completely in control of herself and the conversation. Oh, she was going to enjoy shredding him to bits with her icily witty replies. In fact, now that she was mentally prepared, she was looking forward to this conversation. She took a bracing breath and stepped out on to her tiny porch.
He was gone! She blinked and took another disbelieving scan of the immediate area. Definitely gone! She hadn’t even heard his car leaving. She could almost hear the hiss of her bravado deflating.
Well, he was good at leaving without a trace wasn’t he? Getting into her car with a grim smile, she reminded herself that this was a specialty of his, and hers was dealing with it.
* * *
Walking into the sleek and vibrant office of Trends Now always made Sia feel like she was home. Mobile in pocket - check, Laptop in bag - check, manuscript for review - check, no ruffled feathers in sight - check. It was time to get to work.
‘Hey Sia!’
Oh no, no, no, no, no! This was not happening today of all days. Plastering a patently fake smile on her face, she turned to greet the one person in the office she could have gone without seeing.
Being 6’2’ and built like a tank made Ajay Narayanan very hard to ignore. How could you pretend not to see a mini Sherman tank bearing down on you?
‘Morning Ajay.’ Omitting the good from the greeting would give him an idea what kind of mood she was in. But nope, Sherman tanks have thicker skins than that.
‘How was your weekend? Did you have a wild time?’
‘No Ajay. Wild really isn’t my scene. I spent the weekend relaxing at home except for catching a movie with friends on Saturday.’
‘Have dinner with me some time and I can show you some of my wild moves.’
Good God! Did he actually wink? Stifling a grin at the king of unimaginative come-ons, she replied, ‘I’m actually quite busy, Ajay, in the coming week - deadlines and all that. I’ll see you around then.’ She gave him a dismissive smile and started to move off but he put out a hand blocking her escape.
‘How about lunch then?’
‘Ajay, it’s really not the timing of the meal I’m objecting to. Could you please move your hand?’
‘Coffee then?’
‘Ajay really! I’m not interested in tea, coffee, breakfast,
lunch, dinner or any other meals or beverages you think we could share.’
There, that should do it.
But, apparently not.
Looking at her intensely, Ajay leaned in real close, ‘Are you only saying no because you’ve had a bad relationship in the past?’
Eyes wide, Sia bridged the little space between them. ‘No Ajay, I’m saying no because I don’t like you.’ Turning on her heel she stalked off leaving him with his mouth hanging wide open.
Men! She dropped her purse onto the cabinet in her little cabin and booted up her computer. Men and their sense of entitlement! Groaning, she started to bang her head on her desk.
‘That’s a new way to start the day. Care to enlighten me on what it will accomplish?’ an all too familiar voice piped up.
‘I am trying to knock some sense into myself.’ Sia moaned looking up at her best friend, colleague and partner in crime, Minty.
‘Did it help? Or can I join in? I could probably grab a heavy book or something and see if it works better.’
Glaring balefully at her and muttering faintly audible imprecations about so-called friends, Sia turned back to her computer.
‘Come on Sia, spill it! What’s got you in this mood? Did your coffee machine break down? Or let me guess, your grandmother called to ask when you’re going to do the family proud and get married?’
‘Ryan’s back.’
‘Back in town?’
‘No Minty, in Tokyo! Of course, back in town.’
Silence followed by ‘Bloody hell!’
‘Your eloquence never fails to impress me,’ Sia murmured sardonically, ‘Now can we please get back to work?’
‘Back to work? When were we working to get back to it? We were still at the banging head on desk stage, weren’t we?’ Minty trailed off into silence in the face of Sia’s baleful glare. ‘Minutes of last night’s meeting are on your desk. Sania would like a word when you have a minute. Sheela asked me to tell you that your phone messages are on your desk and your first appointment of the day is at 11. What did he want?’
‘What?’
‘What did he want Sia?’ Trying to control her impatience, Minty waited for an answer.
‘I don’t know.’
‘He came to see you, didn’t he? Well, what did he say?’
‘Nothing. He said hi, I was snippy and he left.’
‘Snippy? What the hell is snippy?’
‘It’s a watered down version of bitchy.’ Sia managed a watery smile herself. ‘Let’s just talk about this some other time, Okay? I need to get to work now.’
It was the beginning of the day and she was already exhausted.
‘Okay Hon. You know where to find me when you need me.’ Minty walked away with a swish of her hips drawing the eye of more than one male eye in the room. Minty didn’t walk. She glided through life intent on making an impression. Concealing a smile, Sia got back to work.
As one of the Assistant Editors for Trends Now’s romantic fiction division, a huge part of Sia’s job revolved around love and all its vagaries. She’d grown up on a diet of happily-ever-afters, tall, dark and handsome heroes, beautiful heroines and all the drama and emotion that went into a good romance. Reality however had given her a swift kick in her pants and got her to take her nose out of her books and take a good hard look at the world.
Shoving everything else from her mind, she hauled the
manuscript she was working on from her bag and got to work.
Two hours later, she looked up to see Sheela, the office receptionist smiling at her.
‘Sia, your eleven o’clock is here. Do you want a minute before I bring her over?’
‘Thanks Sheela but you can show her right in.’
She pushed the manuscript aside and stood up to greet Nisha Malik, author par extraordinaire when it came to romantic fiction. She wrote books about strapping, macho military men and delicate feminine women who gasped at every touch and shivered with longing when the men glanced their way. Although the kind of loaded looks the macho he-men in her books levelled at the women, most of the readers shivered too.
‘Sia sweetheart, you look lovely as always.’ Nisha settled herself into the visitors chair with panache.
‘Thanks Nisha. You look incredible.’ And she did. In an off shoulder white dress, red high heels and long straight hair that fell in a sleek waterfall, Nisha looked like one of her heroines. The woman who brought to life the most incredible men in her books didn’t waste time looking for someone to make her shiver. Unlike her heroines though, Nisha was completely focused on her work.
‘Thanks but I feel like a wilted cabbage.’ Rummaging through her leather satchel, she continued, ‘The traffic and heat in Chennai are the bane of my existence.’
Smiling a little, Sia said, ‘Both of which must be a culture shock after living in London for so many years.’ Holding her hand out for the file Nisha was dragging out, she asked, ‘Why don’t you get a driver?’
Grinning, Nisha replied, ‘I hate relinquishing control, whether it’s driving or anything else.’ All business now, she said, ‘Here’s the latest draft of the new book. I’ll have another
100 pages ready for you to look at by the end of next week. Is there anything you wanted to discuss with me?’
‘Umm Nisha, don’t take this personally but I did want to talk to you about your heroine.’
‘Is she too wimpy for you?’ She asked with a knowing smirk.
‘Well yes. Couldn’t the woman try rescuing herself for once instead of squealing for the guy? She seems to be in need of his strong macho shoulder to cry on rather incessantly.’
‘Sia, women like being rescued and men like rescuing them.’
‘When was the last time you waited to be rescued?’ Sia countered.
‘It’s all about the fantasy darling. I thought you knew that. We’re perfectly capable of rescuing ourselves but it makes you a little tingly to think of a strong, gorgeous man swooping in to solve all your problems. Doesn’t it?’
‘I think the last time I felt tingly, was just before I passed out from a peanut allergy.’ Ruthlessly squashing the memory of a soft, gentle kiss in the dark of a movie theatre, Sia forced her lips to curve in some semblance of a smile.
Noting the imperceptible tightening in Sia’s expression that wasn’t completely masked by her smile, Nisha murmured, ‘Ahh, now there’s a romantic moment. Maybe I can work that into the story somewhere.’ Using her fingers to make air quotes, she said, ‘Tingling all over, Shruti raised her face for his kiss only to find the floor coming up to greet her pursed lips.’
Pleased with the burst of laughter that escaped Sia, she smiled, ‘Anyway, thanks for the feedback. I’ll think about it and maybe give her one strong woman of the times moment.’
As she got up to leave, she turned around to ask ‘Are you okay?’ Concern showed in her eyes. ‘You don’t seem your usual self.’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. Just need to sort something out in my head. I’ll be okay. See you in a couple of weeks, Nisha.’ She hugged her and walked her out of the building.
Christ, she needed coffee, gallons of it. It wasn’t like her to be tightly wound so early in the day. Her work day was only half over and she still had Minty’s bachelorette to get through in the evening. It didn’t matter if her life was a mess right now. She was going to doll up and enjoy Minty’s hen night even if it killed her. Which with the luck she was having today, it probably would, she thought glumly.