Feels Like Summertime (17 page)

“Yeah, Jake?” she replies. She latches on to my arm.

“We need to get married.”

“What?” Her brow furrows.

“It’s the best way to catch Cole.”

Her eyes avoid mine. “Oh.”

“We’ll set a trap. And you will be the bait.” Surely she understands why this is necessary.

“No,” she says quickly. Then she walks away.

J
ake follows me
, calling my name as I walk back to the big house.

“Katie! Would you
stop
?”

He breaks into a run, but I’m moving faster. He grabs my arm and jerks me to a halt.

“Let me go,” I snarl at him as he tries to pull me to him.

Jake stops and stares down at me. “Katie?” he asks, his voice going soft. “Are you…
angry
with me?”

I cross my arms beneath my breasts and look toward the lake. The sun is about to rise. Jake has spent the whole night searching for Cole, and now his night is ruined. It’s daytime. “Why would I be angry with you, Jake?”

He scratches his head. “Honestly, Katie,” he says, “I have no idea. But if you’ll just tell me, I’ll apologize.”

I poke my finger into his chest so hard that he lifts his hand to rub it. “That was the worst proposal ever,” I say, and then I start to cry.

I’ve had to hold it together on my own for so damn long. And now…now I can’t. I just can’t. I sink down on the front porch steps and drop my head into my hands and sob. Jake sits down tentatively beside me and waits quietly. He tries to put his arm around me, but I scoot to the side and shrug him off.

“Okay,” he whispers, “I’ll just stay over here.” He scoots as far away on the step as he can, pressing his side against the handrails.

Finally, when I can speak, I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and say to him, “You know, when all this started, I thought I deserved it.”

“Nobody deserves—” But I hold up a finger and he bites his lips together.

“I was very happily married. I had everything. I had three beautiful kids, and a husband who loved me. We had a happy home in a nice place. We made enough money to support our family. We loved and we lived and we laughed.” I snort out a crazy little snicker. “And then it all ended. Like a bath that’s warm and bubbly and wonderful, it suddenly went cold. The water ran cold, and then it
ran out
. And then it was me and my kids and we were trying to survive. Just trying to survive.”

I get up and start to pace.

“I was military, Jake,” I say. “I know how to fight and how to shoot a gun. I could have taken Cole out so many times, but if I did, I’d lose my kids. My kids would be alone, so I couldn’t do that. It absolutely
kills
me that I had to tuck my tail and run.”

I walk back and forth in front of Jake, and chew on my fingernails between words.

“He thought he had me so many times. He thought I was beaten, and having to pretend to
let him win
…that killed me too. But by the time I realized how crazy he is, I was already pregnant, and I had another life to protect. I couldn’t knee him in the nuts or bang him over the head with a frying pan. I couldn’t poison him or do any of the other things I really,
really
wanted to do to him. I spent one night with him, the condom broke, and then
wham
! I was tied to him for the rest of my life.”

Jake scratches his nose.

I gesture to Jake, and then resume my pacing. “And then there you were, a white knight in swim trunks. You showed up, and you made me do the one thing I didn’t want to do!”

Jake sits quietly.

“You want to know what that one thing was?” I ask him.

“Am I allowed to talk now?” he asks.

“Shut up,” I mutter. “You made me fall in love with you! How could you do it? How could you do that to me, Jake?”

Jake swipes a hand down his face. Is he wiping away a smile? I stop in front of him and glare at him. The smile vanishes.

I gesture to the air around us. “This place,” I say. “It’s like stepping back in time. Before Jeff. Before Cole. Before my life went to shit. Only it’s not the past, because I have the evidence of my happy life, my kids, right here with me. It’s like the past meets the present.” I slap my hands together so hard that Jake jumps. “But
we
can’t be happy, because Cole is still out there. He’s waiting to mess it all up.”

I run a hand across my forehead. “You know, I haven’t cried over Cole one single time since all this started, and then you asked me to marry you for the sole purpose of dragging Cole out into the open. How
dare
you!”

Jake finally looks up and into my eyes. “What?”

“You, the white knight, you showed up and you made me want all the things I hadn’t wanted since Jeff died. You made me love your football arm with Alex and your doing diapers with Hank and your talking with boys about Gabby and your blue raccoon spray with Trixie. And then there was the support you offered and the crazy-good kisses. And I didn’t stand a chance! Not a chance in hell! How could you do that to me, Jake?”

I flop down onto the porch step and heave out a sigh.

“And then there was the sex,” I say. “Oh my God.” I bury my face in my hands.

Jake’s brows lift, but he says nothing.

“It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Jake grins, but still he says nothing.

“It was…amazing. You are amazing. You are the man I love. And you want me to marry you so that we can
flush a madman out of hiding
? Are you serious?”

I lean back, exhausted.

Jake sits quietly for a few minutes. He says nothing.

“You can talk now,” I finally mutter.

“So…” Jake says slowly. When I don’t interrupt him or tell him to shut up, he keeps going. “You
do
love me.”

I nod my head, unable to speak for the huge lump that’s suddenly in my throat.

“That’s good.” He plucks a piece of grass out of the flowerbed and rolls it between his fingers. He nods his head toward the lake. “Come and walk with me. The sun’s coming up.”

We walk hand in hand in silence down to the dock, and he sits down, dangling his feet over the water. He pats the space next to him, and I sit down beside him. He’s quiet. The lake is still in the early morning. The sky is painted with streaks of orange and pink.

“Summer has always been my favorite season,” he says.

He gives my hand a squeeze.

“It’s when it starts to warm up. The flowers bloom and the trees grow big and green. We get out swimsuits and the lake becomes our playground. We get to be loud and boisterous and make noise, and yet still share quiet moments like this.”

A fishing crane flies by, and we both watch it.

“I asked you to marry me because I love you. Not because Cole is out there waiting.”

“But that’s not what you said,” I say petulantly.

Jake tweaks my nose. “I know. I was being efficient. I thought you knew how I feel about you. I talked to your parents a few days ago. I asked them if I could offer you a ring, if I could ask you to marry me.”

My heart clenches in my chest and the lump in my throat grows double in size. “What did they say?”

“They said it’s your decision and that I would have to ask you.” He shrugs. “After last night, I thought it was a done deal. I should have thought about the way that stupid proposal sounded. It was an awful way to tell you how very much I love you.”

I say nothing, because I couldn’t speak if I tried.

“To me, you feel like summertime. You feel like warm weather and sunny skies. You feel like the occasional storm, but they always pass, and they keep things interesting. You feel like my future. You
are
my past. You’re my world. I want to marry you.” He clutches my hand tightly. “So if you can forgive me for asking the wrong way, will you marry me? We can stage a fake wedding two weeks from now, if you want, just to beat Cole out of the bushes. And then a real one a little later.”

I lay my face on his shoulder.

He lifts his shoulder to nudge my cheek. “You’re leaving me hanging here.” He chuckles.

“I’m thinking,” I whisper.

“Take as long as you need,” he replies. Then he leans over and reaches into his pocket. “I’m not trying to sway you or anything, but Alex threw this into the lake yesterday.”

He hands me the folded note and then he gets to his feet. He walks a few paces away and stands still, staring toward the other end of the dock. I open the note and read.

D
ear God
,

Please tell Daddy thanks for sending Jake to us.

Love,

Alex

M
y eyes
well up with tears. “You didn’t want to sway me, huh?” I call over my shoulder.

“Nope,” he replies.

I hold up the note. “So this wasn’t an attempt to play on my emotions at all?” I say, but a grin tugs at my lips.

“Nope. Hell, I didn’t write it. I just fished it out of the lake.”

“Well, if my kids say yes,” I tell him, “then I say yes.”

“I have to ask the kids for permission?”

I nod. “Yes. Except for Hank. He likes you too much already.”

“Oh, well, good,” he says. He comes and pulls me to my feet. Standing at the end of the dock are all four of my kids. They’re waiting for us. My parents are here too. “They can all tell
you
their answers.”

Jake puts his arm around me. “What do you say, kids?” he yells.

All three of them jump into the air, and Dad waves Hank’s little hand at us. “Yes!” they scream.

Trixie runs to Jake and he scoops her up in his arms. She cups her hand around his ear and whispers something to him.

Jake turns to me. “She said Sally wants to be the flower dog.”

I look around. “Where is Sally?” The dog is usually right next to Trixie.

“I thought he was with you,” Dad says.

Panic floods my heart. I grab for Jake’s arm. “Jake—”

“I know,” he replies. He sets Trixie down. “Go inside and set the alarm. I’ll find Sally.”

I rush the kids toward the house, but I stop when I get to the porch. Mr. Jacobson is lying in the open doorway. He’s not moving. “
Jake!
” I yell.

Just inside the door, we find Sally. He’s lying in a pool of his own blood.

M
y heart fucking stops
.

“Pop,” I say, as I lean down next to him. Dan is already herding the kids toward their car. Adam drops down beside me.

“Move over, Jake,” Adam says. “I was a medic in the Army.”

I scoot over, but I don’t go far. “Pop!” I say again.

Pop groans. “Jake…”

I grab his hand. “Pop, what happened?”

“That stupid dog of yours jumped between me and the bullet.” He lifts his head so he can look at the dog, who’s lying in a pool of blood. “Take care of the dog, Jake,” he says. “I just bumped my head is all.”

The ambulance and the police arrive at the same time, and we get Pop checked by the EMTs. He complains the whole time. Adam takes Dan and the kids in their minivan and races off to take the dog to the emergency vet. The dog is alive, but he’s hurt badly. I sincerely doubt he’ll make it.

“Did Katie go with Dan and Adam?” Fred asks. He has been here with me since I found Pop.

I look around, but don’t see her. “She must have.”

Fred holsters his gun. “Are you sure?”

“Pop!” I yell toward the EMTs, who still haven’t given Pop the all-clear. “Did you see where Katie went?”

He points toward the cabin. “Last time I saw her, she was headed that way.”

“Was she alone?”

“Yes.”

I don’t know where Katie is. But she’s alone, and Cole is still nearby. And that scares the hell out of me.

T
he morning
that Katie left me was bittersweet. I knew she had to leave, to go back to school. I’d known it all summer. We’d both known it was coming. We’d spent every minute together in the weeks before she left. I knew her better than I’d ever known anyone. In fact, we’d spent the night together the night before. Her parents didn’t know it, and my dad would kill me if he found out, but Katie snuck out her window around midnight, and met me down at the dock.

We shoved the canoe off and paddled silently away from the campground, trying to find some privacy. That night, we did nothing and everything. We loved one another completely, and not at all.

I didn’t need to be inside Katie to be one with her. But I did need to hold her. I needed to say a proper goodbye.

We pulled up at a nearby shore and Katie and I got out. I yanked the canoe onto the sand, and I spread a blanket on a soft spot of grass a few yards back from the shore. Then I got the cooler I’d packed earlier out of the canoe. “Are you cold?” I asked as I joined her on the blanket.

She shook her head. “No.”

“I could start a fire.”

She shook her head again. “You could just hold me.”

She didn’t have to ask me twice. I lay back on the blanket and pulled her to lie in the crook of my arm.

“Do you think we’ll ever see one another again after this?” she asked.

“I’ll be there when you leave tomorrow. I’m going to kiss you right in front of everyone.”

She giggled against my chest, the sound of it sinking inside me. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Are you coming back next year?” I asked. A lot of our lodgers came back year after year. They were regulars, and we got to know them, their children, and their grandchildren.

She shook her head. “I don’t know.” She pressed her lips to the tender skin above the collar of my shirt. “I hope so,” she whispered.

“Will you write to me?”

She nodded against my chest. “Of course.”

That night, we talked about everything and nothing. We kissed until my lips were sore, until Katie put a stop to my wandering hands, until the sun peeked over the horizon and I knew our time together was almost over.

I paddled the canoe back to the dock and hooked it up to the mooring cleat. Then I helped Katie step onto the dock. She turned to face me.

“No matter what, Jake,” she said, “I’ll always love you.” Then she buried her face in my chest.

I held her tightly against my chest, not even close to being ready to let her go. But the sun was coming up, and I could already smell brewing coffee. It was time to take her back.

I slid her bedroom window open and she kissed me one last time. Then I boosted her up and through the window. “I’ll see you later,” she whispered. Then she closed the window, and I imagined her sliding between cold sheets, scissoring her legs together to warm them up.

I went home and tiptoed up the steps. Pop looked up when I came in the door. I choked. “Why are you up?” I asked.

He looked toward the dock through the kitchen window. “Have fun last night?” he asked quietly. His voice was soft, and not at all like Pop.

“It wasn’t about fun,” I protest.

He heaved out a breath. “I know.”

“I just wanted to say a proper goodbye,” I rushed to explain. But he held up a hand.

“I understand, Jake. Go to bed.”

“You don’t want to give me some stupid chore?” I huffed.

He shook his head. “No.”

I crossed my arms. “Are you sure?”

“Go to bed, Jake,” he said a little more strongly.

“You can tell me my punishment later,” I bit out. Then I stormed to my room and slammed the door.

Pop never did punish me. I kissed Katie goodbye in front of everyone that day, and she drove away with her hand pressed against the back glass of her parents’ car. I blinked back the pain, and then I started writing that first letter to her. I wrote her every day for the next month. Then it turned into one letter every few days, and hers to me began to slow down too.

Life went back to normal, and the letters started to come about once a month. Then they stopped completely.