Feel (Sense Series Book 1) (5 page)

“I wish you would have told me this earlier,” I moaned as his thumb pressed into the arch, “I would have put my legs in your lap a hell of a lot sooner. You’re spoiling me.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” his hands trailed from my ankle, up my leg, and to my inner thigh. His thumbs grazed against my sensitive flesh and I trembled beneath his touch. I pushed against his hand, urging him to go further. He continued until he reached my center. Surprise swept across his face when he realized that I wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“What can I say? I’m not a fan of wearing them if I don’t have to.”

He gave me a wickedly sexy grin and ran his hand along my slit. I stared at him and bit into my bottom lip.

“Can I taste?” he asked.

I gave him a shy nod and I felt like I was about to overheat. Just the mere thought of his mouth down there was making me hot. I hoped that his mouth was exceptionally talented but I knew that he wouldn’t disappoint.

He lowered to his knees and placed himself between my legs. His hands rested on my knees and he spread them wide apart. He licked his lips and lowered his face to my secret place. I felt his mouth gently suckle on my lips down below. I tried to block out visions of my boyfriend from my head. I was fighting feelings of guilt and trying to grasp on to the pleasure because everything felt so damned good.

I chose to focus on his tongue as it dipped between my lips and pressed against my hole. I restlessly pressed against his face, wanting to feel his tongue inside of me. His hands went to my thighs and firmly held me still. He was in control and I laid back and submitted to touch. He lapped at my pussy as if it was dripping ambrosia.

He licked everywhere except the one spot that I craved the most. His tongue ignored my pulsating bundle of nerves. I whimpered when he brushed his lips against it and denied me the pleasure of his tongue. His teasing was driving me over the edge and I felt like I was going to lose control at any moment.

“Please,” I begged.

He gently blew onto my most sensitive place, “Please what?”  He asked.

“Please, make love to me with your mouth. I need to feel you, please stop teasing me,” I pleaded.

He finally gave in to my request by licking the spot that I desired in one long slow motion and then flicking it repeatedly with the tip of his tongue. My body involuntarily convulsed, and the heat that pooled into my lower belly released in a steady stream against his mouth. He continued pleasuring with his mouth until my body calmed down. I sat up straight after my personal eruption ended. I kissed my essence from his lips as I undid the buckle of his belt.

“Can you stand for me please,” I asked.

The fire in his eyes was undeniable and so was the massive tent inside of his pants. He stood to his feet, and I undid his pants and pushed them around his ankles. He stepped out of them and did the same with his underwear. His erection sprang free and bobbed in the air. He had a big powerful cock that was covered in bulging veins. I wrapped my lips around his big helmeted cock head and heard him release a hiss.

I reveled in the temporary power that I had over him. I wrapped my hand around the base of his rod and took him as deep into my mouth as I could. He was still only halfway into my mouth. His girthy cock stretched my mouth wide and I sheathed my teeth with my lips to make sure that I didn’t hurt him.

I lost myself in him. I put all of my sensual energy into satisfying him. I licked and slurped and sucked until my heart was content.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said gently pulling away from me, “If you keep doing that, I’m not going to last. I don’t want to fire off prematurely.”

I looked up demurely at him through my thick eyelashes, “Sorry, I was having such a good time.”

“You weren’t having as good of a time as I was having,” he said as he grabbed my hands and helped me to my feet. He walked me over to the kitchen counter, placed his hands on my hips and assisted me in sitting there. My dress was hiked up around my waist, leaving me exposed from the waist down.

I closed my eyes, reached between us, and stroked his thick cock with my hand. I guided him to my entrance and tilted my hips to give him easier access.

“Open your eyes,” he said, “Stay with me.”

My eyes fluttered open and he slowly worked his way into my opening. He felt colossal compared to Michael and a wave of guilt washed over me. What was I doing? I didn’t even have sex with Michael without condoms, and I was about to screw my neighbor. I didn’t want to stop because he felt so good. I shut my eyes tightly and placed my forehead on his shoulder.

He pushed deep inside of me to the hilt and we moaned in unison. I grabbed his waist and urged him to fuck me deeper, faster, and harder.

“Hey,” he said as he leaned back and grabbed my face with the both of his hands, “Where are you right now?”

Tears pricked the back of my eyes, “I’m trying to be here.”

“It’s just me and you here, beautiful. No one else, and let go of your guilt. Enjoy the moment, and take the time to enjoy what we’re sharing. I want to be with you. He doesn’t deserve you,” He said as placed a kiss on my forehead and pushed deeper inside of me. My walls pulsated around his cock and I grabbed onto him as if he were my lifeline. His words played in my head over and over again like a song that I would never forget.

“More please, give me more please. Fuck me until I forget,” I pleaded with him again.

He took pity on me and drove deep into my pussy. He pumped in and out of my tight hole over and over again. With each thrust, I was closer to my orgasm. I dug my nails into his back and my eyes flooded with tears as he impaled me with no mercy. I became undone, and gave him my release. My orgasm triggered his; he pulled out, and spilled his seed all over my thighs.

We were together, clutching each other, frozen in time. The only thing that mattered to me in that moment was that I was there with him. He gave me exactly what I needed, and all I had to do was ask.

“After we get cleaned up, will you stay with me tonight?” he asked.

“I would like that.”

I opened my eyes and saw Adam sleeping peacefully. It was still dark outside. I looked over at his alarm clock and saw that it was almost 5 in the morning. I knew that he would wake up soon for work. A feeling of panic settled into my entire body and I silently rose from the bed. I gathered my clothes and made a mental note to return his t-shirt and shorts to him soon. I took the walk of shame back to my apartment.

My cell phone had been in my apartment all night and I check it. I had 4 missed calls and a few missed text messages. They were all from Michael. My hands began to shake and I didn’t know what to do.

I walked to my bathroom and Michael was sleeping in my bed. I almost peed myself because I was so nervous. I stealthily went to the bathroom and put my clothes from the night before in my clothes hamper and took a much needed shower.

After I was wrapped in a towel, I looked into the steam covered mirror and I felt like a scarlet letter should have been carved into my chest. I closed my eyes and remembered how great Adam’s lips felt pressed against my skin. I wished that I was still with him instead of where I was. I didn’t want to crawl in the bed next to Michael but I worked up the nerve to emerge from the bathroom.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Michael was sitting up in the bed staring at me.

“Hey where have you been? I’ve been calling you.”

“I left my phone here by mistake,” I said, “I went to Lizzie’s after I hung up on you, and I spent the evening with her,” I lied.

I hoped like hell that he hadn’t called or spoken to Lizzie.

“I was wondering if you were with her,” he said with a look of relief on his face.

“How long have you been here?” I asked.

“Since three. I missed you and I couldn’t stay away,” he said with a grin.

I gave him a disapproving frown, I was still pretty upset with him over what happened over the weekend.

“What was the point really? We have to get ready for work anyway.”

“You’re still upset with me?”

“Yes I’m still upset with you,” my voice raised.

He rose from the bed and walked to meet me in the middle of room. He stroked my face with his hand and I recoiled at his touch. A bewildered look spread across his face.

“You really are pissed,” he said incredulously.

“Oh wow, so he does listen,” I said in disbelief.

“I meant it when I said that I wanted to make it up to you. You are the most important thing in my life. Just give me a chance to prove it to you. I took off work today, and I hoped that you could call in sick today and spend today with me.”

I softened at this news. Michael never took off of work for anyone. His career was always comes first and he made no apology for it. My first instinct was to tell him that I couldn’t call off work but we both knew that was a lie.

“Okay, but you’ll have to do more than spend one day with me to make up for all of the crap you’ve put me though.”

“I know baby, but I hope that this is a good start.”

“It’s a good start,” I admitted with a smile.

He had the ability to melt my heart when he wanted to. He gave me a huge hug and I leaned against his chest. I was surrounded by his warmth and scent and it caused me to feel a little nostalgic. I thought to myself, ‘This is where I belong.’

The day went by like a dream. We went out to breakfast, caught a movie, and went on a lunch cruise at Navy Pier. It was cold outside but still romantic. We hadn’t spent an entire day together in months and I remembered why I fell in love with him. He ignored his phone and gave me his full attention.

I should have had a wonderful time because I was finally getting the attention from him that I nagged for. But I had Adam on the brain. I kept thinking about how much I missed him, and I wondered if he was upset with me over the way that I left him that morning. I shared a part of myself that I didn’t feel comfortable with sharing for a long time. He tapped into a part of my soul that I thought I severed.

I was enjoying Michael’s company as if he was my friend and not my boyfriend. I was having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I no longer felt connected to him romantically. How was this even possible? As soon as I got involved with someone else that seemed interested in me, I no longer wanted Michael. I think I realized that I deserved better and a lot more. I was no longer interested in sharing a man or sharing myself with more than one man.

Chicago was living up to its name with the amount of wind. When we stepped off of the boat and stepped onto the pier I clutched my coat to my body.

“Before we take another step, I have to get this out,” Michael said, “I’ve loved you from the moment that I met you Kerry. You’ve stuck with me through all of the crap, and I can’t imagine living without you by my side. I wanted to know if you would do me the honor of being my wife,” he said as he got on one knee and pulled out a massive ring.

I felt frozen into place like a statue. I was unable to show any emotion, what was once my dream instantly became my nightmare. I stared at him in disbelief and was unable to form words.

“Kerry? Say something please,” he laughed nervously.

“Please stand up,” I whispered.

He stood up, “What’s wrong? I thought that this is what you’ve always wanted.”

“It is what I want…well it was what I wanted.”

“What in the hell is going on with you?”

My thoughts were going a mile a second and I decided to give him all the truth that I can muster. It was time to lay everything out and to let the chips fall where they may.

“I know about the other women Michael.”

He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“So you’re really going to try to deny it? Please don’t insult me with that. I know where you really are on the nights and days that you aren’t with me. I’ve known for a while.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I shouldn’t have had to say anything,” I yelled, “You shouldn’t have done it. You made me feel so fucking stupid. You flaunted it in my face as if you didn’t care if I found out. Now you want me to marry you? You were just with at least one of them this weekend and you’re proposing to me today?”

It felt good to yell at him and to let my anger and frustration out. I’d been harboring my pain for a while and I was finally able to tell him exactly how I felt.

“I’ll end it with them,” he pleaded.

I shook my head at his words, “There’s no need for that because it’s too late. I can’t trust you any more and I’ll always wonder who you’re out with or where you’re going. I don’t want to live my life that way. I want to be with someone that loves me enough to just be with me. I deserve it.”

Hearing me verbalize the words that had been said to me over and over again by Lizzie, my other friends, and Adam was a bit surreal. I spent so much time attempting to tune their opinions out and it seemed that their words embedded into my psyche. I was finally standing up for myself and it was long overdue.