F*cking Awkward (20 page)

“Red,” I warned, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

Dear God, let us be able to finish at home. The Bears and I were depending on it.

W
e overpaid
Bethany and hurried her out the door. Grace pointed to Finn’s room, and I nodded. Bethany said he was sound asleep, so as soon as Grace checked on him, we would be good to go.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I fished it out.

Jon: Did she ride the baloney pony yet?

The little dots on my screen indicated that the douchebag was still typing.

Jon: Is Just-in Beaver happy?

Seriously? My idiot friends had the maturity of a ten-year-old. I started to type a response when a new text came in. Landon? Aw, fuck. Jon had to start a group text to sufficiently harass my dick.

Landon: How’s the man in the pink helmet holding up? Time to Poka her hontas?

Me: Assholes. Fuck you all.

Ricky: Says the weapon of ass destruction himself.

Grace stepped in the room. She closed the door and took my phone from my hands. I watched her face as she read, her blush darkening and then a laugh burst from her sweet lips.

I looked over her shoulder as she typed a response.

Grace: This is Grace. We’re saying goodbye now. Good night boys.

She powered off my phone and then tossed it onto the floor. Turning her back to me, she peeked over her shoulder. “He’s asleep. Unzip me.”

Pulling the zipper down the back of her dress, it fell to her feet. She stepped out, still wearing her sexy-as-fuck heels. Turning to face me, she placed her hand on my chest and pushed me backward. I sat on the bed, a dopey grin on my stupid face.

Grace was wearing a green satin strapless bra that pushed her tits up high and close together.
Hell to the yes.
Her matching G-string sat on her hips, and I leaned forward, needing to feel the soft material on my fingers. Needing to feel her… everywhere.

“Uh, uh. First, we need to get you undressed. Shoes off. I’ll work on your shirt.”

Bossy Grace rocked.

Grace’s fingers flew over the buttons on my shirt, as I yanked off my shoes and socks. She peeled the shirt off my shoulders, tossing it aside. I stood, and she pulled off my belt before unhooking my pants and pushing them and my briefs down to the floor.

I stepped out, fully nude and totally erect. Grace licked her lips, her focus fully on my dick.

I wagged my finger back and forth. “Uh, uh. My turn.” I pulled her to me, kissing her mouth with desperation. One hand held her head while the other unhooked her bra strap, causing the green fabric to slide down to the floor. Her breasts pressed against my chest, and I moaned into her mouth. I had to slow down, calm down, or this would be over in a nanosecond. My tongue licked hers in languid strokes until her hands found my hair and she tugged, hard.

“Dean, please. I’m so ready,” Grace whispered as she placed light kisses on my lips.

“Me too, baby.” I took a step back and then knelt on the ground, kissing her on top of her panties.

“Oh, God,” Grace cried. Her legs shook until I stood up, sweeping her into my arms.

I laid her on the bed and tore off her panties. Then I climbed over her, my weight on my forearms. “I love you, Red. I’ve never been this happy before. Even when football sucks like it does now, having you in my life makes it all okay.”

Grace’s eyes shined. “I love you, too.” She tilted her chin up and kissed my lips, her sweet tongue pushing in and tangling with mine.

“Dean, do you have a gina too, or just a penis?” A voice that sounded just like Finn’s asked, very close to my ear and my naked body.

What. The. Fuck.

Grace squeaked, grabbing the sheet and pulling it around both of us. I rolled off the kid’s mom, immediately calculating how much money and years of therapy it would take to erase this image from his mind.

“Finn! What are you doing in here? Why aren’t you asleep? It’s so late!” Grace’s face was bright red, and her voice was high with panic.

“I had to pee-pee. I didn’t want to wet my bed and then have to wear pull-ups again.”

Grace looked at me sideways, mouthed “I’m sorry” and then closed her eyes.

“So do you, Dean? Do you have a gina like my mama?”

I stilled, but then I pictured the view he had when he surprised us. “No little dude, that’s my butt. Guys have penises and girls have vagina’s remember? And everybody has a butt.” Oh, if Jon and Landon could hear me now.

“Okay, that’s it.” Grace grabbed her robe from the drawer next to her. She swung her legs out of bed, tightening the robe before standing up. “Say goodnight, Finn.”

“Good night Finn!” Finn giggled and blew me a kiss.

I managed a crooked smile back and fell back on the pillow.

Cockblocked. Again.

Fifteen minutes later Grace walked back in the room and locked the door behind her. “He’s asleep. I even whispered in his ear about Superman being here to double check. This,” she pointed her thumb toward the door knob, “needs to be locked anytime we’re naked. From now on.” Then she shuddered. “That sucked balls.”

Mmmm Grace sucking my balls…Big D got a second wind.

Grace’s eyes widened as the sheet rose in front of me. “Well, I’m glad there was no permanent damage to your manhood after that jarring incident,” she giggled as she untied her robe.

There was no more giggling. My entire body jumped into ready mode at the sight of Grace’s curvy naked figure walking toward me. Grace pulled back the sheet and straddled me.

“No more talking,” she said as she placed a finger over my lips. I nodded, catching her finger and giving it a quick bite. Grace moved onto her knees and took my cock in her hand, using it to rub back and forth over her opening.

My back arched. “Yes, baby.”

Grace held me in her hand and then slammed down on me, fast and hard. She covered my mouth with hers at the same time, allowing us to swallow each other’s groans and screams of pleasure.

And then Grace rode me. She rode the hell out of me.

Grace on top totally rocked.

Grace moved up and down, slamming onto me over and over again, as I pushed up to meet her. When she touched her tits, her eyes wild and dazed, I almost lost control. But I held on, and she came hard, clenching me and pulling me into her deeper.

I came with a shout and moved her hips back and forth slowly until I had milked out every second of my release.

Grace fell onto my chest, kissing my nipples and then right over my heart. “I’m sorry about Finn.”

Her face was pinched with worry and my heart melted. “Grace, I knew you had a son before we started dating. Now that we’re getting married,
we
have a son. One day I hope we’ll have a bunch more little Goldsmith’s trying to sneak into the bedroom. It’s a part of life.” I sat up, cradling her on my lap. “As long as we stay focused on what’s important, we’ll be fine.”

She cupped my jaw with hand, her fingers caressing my stubbly cheek. “And what’s that?”

“Always lock the door, and make sure the little cockblockers are sound asleep before we bump uglies.”

Grace scrunched her nose at me, and I kissed it in return.

“Deal?” I asked as we lay down.

“Deal,” she responded with a sigh.

Grace fell asleep in my arms, but I stayed awake for a while. I used the bathroom, unlocked the door, and checked on Finn.

I loved my family, cockblockers and all.

Fact was, Big D ended the night happy. And my team ended up winning Sunday’s game.

Go Bears.

L
aura Ward is
the author of Not Yet, Until Now, and Past Heaven, as well as the co-author of The Pledge. She lives in Maryland with her loud and very loving three children and husband. Laura married her college sweetheart and is endlessly grateful for the support he has given her through all their years together, and especially toward her goal of writing books. When not picking up toy trucks, driving to lacrosse practice, or checking spelling homework, Laura is writing or reading romance novels.

C
lementine
, you can do this.

These people probably think I’m crazy, sitting here with my lips tugged over my teeth like I’m pretending to be someone’s granny who lost her falsies.

The sounds of the student union rush around me as I try to visualize what I’m going to do to my boyfriend tonight.

Because I need to visualize.

I
so
need to visualize.

Which sounds stupid. Any nimrod with a mouth can give a blow job.

Except I want this to be good for Gavin.

Really good.

Like I’m studying for a final, I mentally review the suggestions my roommate Jenna gave me this morning. Lick the tip because it’s sensitive. Provide some suction. Get my hands into the action. Use spit to lube it up.

I try to shake off the heebie jeebies I get from the idea of spitting on him. I mean, I’m putting the man’s jungle rod in my mouth. I suppose I can live with a little spit.

And Jenna said that no matter what, I cannot nick his dick with my teeth.

“That’s the number one rule of blow jobs,” she emphasized. “NO TEETH.”

Taking a deep breath, I bundle up in my down coat, gather my things and head to his dorm.
I can do this.
It doesn’t matter that I’ve never had a penis in my mouth before. I know Gavin doesn’t care that I’m inexperienced.

Truthfully, I don’t think I do either… except that he’s damn good when he goes down on me, and I think I should reciprocate.

We’ve been dating since last semester, and despite our ups and downs and as scary as this sounds, I’m starting to think he’s The One.

Because he puts up with my crazy and doesn’t seem to mind that I’m kind of an asshole on a good day. And he’s sweet and loving and so fucking sexy. But more importantly, he’s my best friend.

So it doesn’t matter that the idea of coming eye to eye with his male anatomy freaks me out a smidge. I love him and want to get over myself.

Bubbles of nervous energy surge in my stomach as I ride up the elevator eighteen floors to his room. When I get there, I pass two freshmen boys who look me up and down like little creepers.

Ignoring them, I head to Gavin’s room. His door is open, and I take off my coat and wait for him to notice me.

The only light filtering in from the window casts him in shadow.

He’s sitting on his small bed, strumming his guitar, looking so damn handsome everything in me clenches. He’s wearing jeans and a Celtics t-shirt, no shoes or socks, and his dark hair hangs in his face, covering those magnetic eyes.

He’s built like a running back—tall, broad and fit. Graceful in a way that conveys his athleticism.

When he looks up, he shoots me one of those killer smiles that make me weak-kneed.

“Hey, darlin’.”

That never ever gets old.

Before I can say anything, he’s setting aside the guitar and stalking across his small room to sweep me off my feet.

Literally off my feet.

I giggle in his arms, tossing my bag and coat to the floor before I wrap my arms around his neck. A second later, he’s kicking the door shut and pushing me against it, but he does it so fast, my breath catches in my throat.

I stare up at him, feeling light-headed and off-balance.

Sometimes, I need to pinch myself when we’re together so I can appreciate that he’s real. And he’s here. With me.

And this gorgeous specimen of a man actually loves me, the unlovable.

Well, until recently, the unlovable. I’m working on having a better self-image. Thanks to Gavin.

His arms tighten around me, and like a ship to its moor, he rights me, straightening all of my twisted emotional parts until my anxiousness melts away.

Especially when those lips touch mine.

His stubble is rough against my skin, and I settle my palm on his cheek.

The kiss leaves me breathless.

Clearing my throat, I whisper, “I feel like a deviant for corrupting the resident advisor.”

“You are a deviant. I was such a good boy before you came along.”

Laughing, I run my fingers through his thick hair, but when our mouths connect again, my laughter stops.

Hot, wet sweeps of his tongue in my mouth have me eager to tumble into his bed with him.

Except it’s Friday night. In the dorms.

“Babe,” I murmur against his mouth. “Should we wait? What if those kids in that corner room get drunk again?” Last weekend, he had to rush another poor slob to the hospital with alcohol poisoning.
I really can’t wait until we graduate in May.

“Nah, I’ve already warned them that if they interrupt me having sex with my hot girlfriend
again
, I would make their lives miserable.”

I smack his arm. “You did
not
say that.”

“I told them I was studying for a test.” His eyes gleam with humor. “You’re the subject, and I need lots and
lots
of practice. Gotta get this right. Don’t want my GPA to suffer.”

“We can’t have that.”

“Think you could tutor me?
All
night long?” Those dimples pop out, and my stupid little heart goes pitter-patter.

I smile back like an idiot.

Until I remember what I want to do tonight, and my stomach sinks. Because what if I do it wrong? What if I give him a
bad
blow job? Biting my bottom lip, I look away.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Concern tightens his brow.

I swallow and then nearly choke because I’m thinking about swallowing. Later.

Oh my God. Am I going to swallow?
Clearly, I haven’t thought this through.

But spitting afterward seems so rude.

Except I
might
need to spit on him to lube it up in the first place?

Jesus Christ.
This is giving me a headache.

As much as I’d like to forget all musings of the spit-and-dick combo, the issue gives me pause. It’s not like Gavin’s ever raced to the bathroom to rinse his mouth after he went down on me. Although, really, I wouldn’t object because I could see how—

“Clem, where’d you go?”

See, I always have to make things awkward. I can’t be sexy and smooth and get the man in bed and turn him on. No, that would be too easy.

I stare at his t-shirt and twist my finger in the neckline of the fabric. Here goes nothing. “Can I give you a blow job?”

His chest stills under my palm, which freaks me out because why isn’t he saying something? I just offered to put his member in my mouth.

There’s some alliteration.
Member in my mouth.
Say that ten times.

Ugh.
I just cannot do sexy, can I?

My face burns like I’ve just been scorched under a Caribbean sun.

He squeezes me. “Hey.” His voice is deep and rough.
Like how he sounds when we have sex.
Chills break out on my arms.

He lifts my chin, and those green eyes search mine. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

“But that’s just it. I want to do this for you.” My chest is heaving because I’m screwing up everything so badly. “You… you’re always so giving in bed,” I whisper. Seriously, the man makes me come really hard. With his hands. His mouth. His monster-sized man muscle.

Except I don’t think a penis is an actual muscle. More like tissue. And nerves. A lot of big nerves.

But again, I digress.

His lips descend to mind for one brief, sweet kiss, and when he leans back, mirth dances behind his eyes.

“Baby, you can do whatever you want to me, whenever you want, with any body part you want. But don’t ever let this shit stress you out. What we do together should be fun and turn you on and make you relax. It should be about how much I love you and how good we are together. That’s it. Plain and simple.”

Honestly, could he be any sweeter?

I nod, still embarrassed but also really grateful to be dating such a great guy. And I want to show my gratitude.

“I love you too.” Saying those words doesn’t feel foreign anymore. Because, God, I do love him.

Leaning up on my tiptoes, I thread my fingers through his thick, wavy hair and nibble on his bottom lip. “So that’s a yes? I can go down on you? Even if I screw it up?”

“I’m at your mercy, woman. Do what you want.” He grins at me, and it pierces my heart in a bittersweet way that tells me I’ll only be this in love once, and I’m a lucky girl to be in love with Gavin Murphy. But I’m even luckier to have him return that love.

Surprisingly, I’m not totally terrified by our relationship anymore. And after being disappointed by so many people in my life, allowing myself to feel this much emotion seems monumental.

I let those feelings wash over me and stare at him, a shy smile on my lips.

“I want.”

Suddenly, the jokes are over, and he has me up against the door again with one hand in my hair and another on my leg that he hooks around his hip. His hard length strains against his jeans and presses across my belly.

Wow, so I guess he
does
like the idea of me heading south. His enthusiasm gives me courage.

I breathe him in, his crisp citrus body wash and the warmer scent of his skin. Gripping his jaw, I bring his mouth to mine but stop just before our lips connect. When I brush my nose against his, he tries to kiss me, but I pull back.

“Nuh-hu.” Slowly, I lick the seam of his lips, and he growls and tightens his hold on me until there’s no way I can fight him.

Laughing, I give up trying to tease.

He smirks and hoists me up until my legs wrap around his waist. He’s hot and hard everywhere.

His kiss is decadent. Long licks into my mouth punctuate the slow grind of his hips, and I’m desperate for more.

I tighten my thighs around him, searching for relief. Needing relief.
My head lolls to the side, and his mouth goes to my neck and sucks my sensitive skin.

“Bed. Now,” I gasp. Because I still have my mission, and if I don’t take back some control, I’ll lose the courage to do this.

In a flash, he turns and tosses me on the bed like I’m a rag doll, and I laugh as I bounce around. I love that about our relationship. Sex is
really
hot, but fun. And that helps me step out of my comfort zone.

He shucks off his t-shirt, and I soak him in. So many muscles. So much hardness.
Yum.

I kick off my shoes and slide off my t-shirt and jeans, knowing full well he’s watching me.

When I’m in my sheer bra and undies, his broad shoulders fill my vision as he moves to the side of the bed.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he whispers as he reaches behind my neck.

Funny, I was about to say the same thing about him.

Those brilliant green eyes stare at me through thick lashes. His dark hair is sticking out at odd angles, his lips are wet, and a devilish smile tilts his lips.

Returning the smile, I kneel on the bed and run my hands over his shoulders. Over his sculpted chest. Down his sexy stomach. Until I reach the big bulge in his jeans, which I rub slowly before I unbutton his fly.

His nose dips into my hair and his hands are on my breasts, but I tug him down to sit next to me. Then I slide to the floor and nestle between his legs where I unsnap my bra and let it drop down my arms.

Those green eyes widen as I push him onto the bed. Lightly, I scrape my nails down his chest as I kiss my way down his taut stomach.

He takes a deep breath as I nuzzle against his skin and pop open the last button.

My heart is thudding in my chest, but I ignore my nerves and scoot his jeans and boxers down. He angles his hips to help me, and then I’m eye to eye with Little Gavin.

Except he’s not so little.

And when I palm him, he swells in my hand.
Hello, Big Boy.

I squint back at him.

He’s actually really pretty if dicks could be considered attractive. Thick and innately masculine. Tall and smooth and strong.
Definitely sturdy.

Part of me wants to ask how Gavin likes it, but the other part fears saying something stupid and breaking the mood. He’s obviously turned on, so I decide to forge ahead. Besides, alluding to the fact that other girls have traversed this path before me makes me want to stab someone with a dull pencil, so I suppose it’s best to avoid the topic.

From what we’ve done together so far in the past, I know he likes a firm grip and a steady tempo. So I pull him in long strokes before I lean in closer. His body shifts, and I realize he's leaning up on one arm to watch.

And right now, with his eyes trained on me, his mouth slightly open, I can see how much he wants me. It's a heady feeling. 

His hand thrusts into my hair as I dip down and swipe my tongue slowly over his crown.

"Fuuuuck," he groans, his grip tightening.

I rub him across my lips before I take him into my mouth. He tastes a little salty and smells like clean man. And... surprise of all surprises, I like how he feels against my tongue. The feminist in me doesn't even mind that I'm kneeling at his feet because he's done the same for me many times. And I want to return the favor. I want to make him feel as good as he makes me feel. I want to show him that I love him.

But also, I realize, I do this for me. 

Sucking him in deeper, I moan, enjoying how turned on I'm getting from this. My nipples are hard, and my undies are a lost cause.

"That's it, baby. Suck a little harder." 

My pulse races when I hear those words. I turn up my eyes up to him, my hand pumping in earnest.

His chest is rising quickly now. Everything about him is strung tight. I scrape my nails lightly down his thigh, and his eyes darken.

Yeah, I like this too.

I pull him out to explore him with my tongue. He glistens in my hand, and I take a long lick up the length of him. And there's a lot of ground to cover.

He watches, his eyes molten while he strains in my palm.

And then I lean close and take him down the back of my throat.

"Oh fuck." His words, not mine.

I come up with a gasp but before I can go down again, he's pulling me into his lap. His kiss is frantic, and I feel him reach for a condom.

Ten seconds later, I'm on my back.

"Why...why didn't you... Let me finish?" I pant as he seats himself between my thighs, pushes aside my thong and thrusts into me. I arch up and close my eyes, feeling so good and full when he sinks deeper. He bites my neck, making me shudder.