F*cking Awkward (17 page)

“
W
ant
to go to dinner with us?” Olivia tosses her purse over her shoulder.

“No, I’m good.”

“Scout, you can’t live on Hot Pockets and cheese sticks forever.”

Oren steps up behind her, planting a soft kiss to her temple, and pulling her back into his chest.

“I have plans.” I blow my ratty hair from my face.

“And Chuck Norris has a vagina.”

“He might,” Officer Lady Boner adds.

“I do. So screw off.”

“What are they then?” She pops her hip and places her hand on it like a real badass. Ever since that girl has had active cock in her life you’d think she was fucking Rambo.

“I’m going to church.” I stick my tongue out at her as I stand up.

“You better wear flame retardant clothing then, Scout,” Oren says between his laughter.

A love-scorned chick like me should despise these two, but I don’t. In a sick and twisted way, Olivia and Oren are my only forms of comfort these days besides tormenting Pedro.

“For real, whore, what are you doing?”

“If I’m lucky, I’ll be doing Paxton McNeal.”

Olivia’s face lights up like a child on Christmas morning. “Paxton McNeal. As in the Paxton McNeal from high school?”

“Yeah.” I pick at the raveled hem of my t-shirt.

“Oh my god, Scout, is he back in town?”

“Just for the holiday and we’ve been chatting on Facebook.”

“So, let me get this straight you’re meeting up with The Paxton McNeal, the hottest guy to ever walk the halls of our high school.”

“Settle down, tiger.” Oren tugs on Olivia’s shoulder. “You’re hurting my manly ego here.”

Olivia turns to Oren, taking the heat off of me for the time being. “Sorry, baby. You’re still the hottest on the block and my lady boner.”

“We were suppose to have dinner, but he canceled so later on I’m going over for Netflix and chill.”

That gets Olivia’s ripe old attention. “Seriously?”

“God, Olivia, you’re so easy.” I chug back a glass of water. “I’m going over there in a couple hours.”

“To Mr. McNeal’s house?”

I nod.

“Won’t it be awkward since you work with him?”

“Wait, you guys work with a hot guy?” Oren asks.

“No, we work with his dad. He’s the PE teacher.”

“Thank God, thought I had some competition.”

“Oh no.” I pat his shoulder as I stroll by him. “This gem is all yours and only yours.”

“Text the details, Scout. We’re going over to Dad’s afterwards to stuff Easter eggs for the community hunt in the morning.”

“You got it.”

The slamming of the front door comforts me. Pedro scratches at my feet so I snag him up and curl him under my arms. I’m going to die when Olivia and Oren get married and get their own house. I love this damn dog. I’ll never admit it, but I love the little dry humping machine.

I may have lied a bit to Olivia about tonight, but it won’t hurt a thing. Paxton’s parents are out of town tonight and tomorrow. We’ve been full on sexting and getting down via Snapchat over the last few months.

Dating has been dismal since Taylor and truth be told my heart still remains in shattered pieces. I may or may not obsessively stalk him and his new fiancé on every single social media platform. I’ve promised myself that if I ever find myself with night vision binoculars hidden in a bush then I have a serious problem and not until then.

I grab my phone from the counter and text Paxton.

Me: We still on for 8

Paxton: Damn straight we are

Me: See you then

Paxton: Wear that purple lace lingerie you always tease me with.

The reflection in the mirror screams extreme whore makeover. There’s no quick up-do or another layer of make-up that will fix any of this hot mess. Most weekends I look this way unless there’s a family function or Olivia drags me out.

“Go get your bone, Pedro.” I turn on the shower and wait for the water to heat up to a scalding temperature. I grab the purple panties and bra Paxton requested along with a pack of razors and wait.

“FKAT,” I mumble and then draw the letters on the top of my thigh.

“FFAT.” I repeat the same action.

First kiss after Taylor and first fuck after Taylor may possibly be going down tonight with Paxton McNeal. The high school football all-star who went on to play in college, and is now playing in the pro league might be getting into my panties tonight. It was all a crazy ass mistake of how we even started talking.

I had to show his dad how to use Facebook and Skype to keep up with his famous son. Mr. McNeal is the elementary PE teacher and fits the stereotype to a T from the whistle to the scary as hell scowl. My spine stiffens when I pass him in the hall and I always fear he’s going to yell, “Scout, give me fifty.”

One night, I messaged Paxton letting him know his father’s usernames and stuff and that there was a very slim chance that he’d ever figure out how to work it and we just started chatting. Paxton’s into the game as in eats, breathes, and sleeps the game and all the shit that comes with it not leaving him much lady time.

So our sexting and very inappropriate conversations flowed easily and rapidly to the point he took my breath away from his naughty pictures and promises. He only comes home a couple times a year and promised me a visit. Goosebumps prickle all over my skin just thinking about what the man could do to me in his bed and then I smile, finally thinking life is good.

“The perfect FFAT.”

I climb into the shower and begin lathering myself from head to toe with my cherry blossom scented shaving gel. My fingers grow nervous with each swipe and I wonder where the foul-mouthed and over confident Scout drifted to. I shave like there’s no tomorrow and then when I think I’m finished, I lather up again and repeat the shaving motion.

By the time I head for my car, I could compete in a hairless competition with those ugly ass cats some people love. The drive is nerve wracking and I’m not sure if it’s because of the possibility of the FFAT or the fact I’m going to see Paxton McNeal, the hometown-fucking hero.

My luck, a world-class case of the sharts will strike mid-humping. That’s all I need is a shit fart combo to plague my night. My phone dings in my purse and I ignore knowing it’s Olivia going ape shit crazy over the fact I’m about to meet up with the stud of all studs.

My butthole puckers when I pass mine and Olivia’s childhood homes. Paxton lives two blocks down and three over. And even though he was an under classmate, Olivia and I use to spy on him in the summers, willing him to take his shirt off. One time he caught us ogling him and asked if we needed help. We both shook our heads and told him we were walking our dog. He pointed to a leash with no dog on it. Olivia’s bastard dog had escaped and we hadn’t even noticed it.

I kill the engine in front of his house and strum the steering wheel, feeling like that silly teenager with a massive crush on the star quarterback.

“What in the hell are you thinking, Scout? Abort mission. Abort FFAT, stat. You are not a qualified quarterback humper.”

In a rush, I fumble for my keys, but Paxton McNeal hollers my name before I can find them. When I look up, he takes my breath away standing on his front porch in lose blue jeans, a dark V-neck t-shirt, and messy blonde hair. My ovaries do a somersault taking in the gorgeous man.

I offer a weak wave before realizing I’m practically licking my fucking window. He effortlessly jogs down the few steps and his long sidewalk and opens the door for me.

“Hey, you remember.” His blue eyes dazzle in the sunlight and white teeth sparkle.

I shrug and try to find my voice. “I told you that we stalked you like rabid dogs in high school.”

Paxton blushes and tucks both of his hands in his pockets. “I don’t think I even knew there were girls in high school. It was all football.”

“Still seems the case.”

He extends his hand to me. I take it like any lady would and let him help me from the car.

“Did you bring your sleepover bag?” he asks, lightening the mood.

“You didn’t tell me it was a slumber party.” I laugh.

The enormous and very intricate wood carving above their front door catches my attention and immediately reminds me of Mr. McNeal, Paxton’s father. I will never be able to look at him the same after tonight, even if we do chill.

“Did you eat, Scout?” Paxton asks, leading me into their massive kitchen.

The counters are a gorgeous slate gray marble with dark cabinets adorning the walls and intricate tiling on every single surface.

“Fancy digs.” I run my palms over the smooth marble.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh yes, I ate.” I pry my stare away from admiring all the tiny details and look up to Paxton. “You eat?”

“Yeah, that’s why I had to delay our date because I had to attend a baby cousin’s birthday party.”

I nod my head, running head first into an awkward as hell conversation point. What do I say now? Ready to go fuck? Want to get down and dirty? No what what in the butt butt.

“Face Time and Snapchat don’t do you justice.”

“Uh?” I ask.

“You’re gorgeous, Scout.”

I blush from his compliment and don’t even know how to proceed.

“You can say thank you now.” Paxton leans back on the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“Thank you now.”

“You’re even a smartass in real life.”

“Yep, that is one thing I am.”

He snags my wrist and pulls me into his chest until my front is smooshed up against his. He feels just as rock hard as he looks. My forehead comes up to his chin; his arms easily wrap around me, pulling me in even closer.

“Mmmm, you smell amazing too.” He nuzzles his nose in the crook of my neck.

“You smell like sex.”

What in the fuck, Scout? Really?

“Got something on your mind?”

“Maybe.” I’m barely able to respond when his tongue lazily traces circles on the side of my neck. My nipples grow rock hard with need and want. And just like that I’m hornier than a teenage boy flipping through his dad’s nude magazines.

“You have too many clothes on.” Paxton lifts the bottom of my shirt and slowly drags it over my head. “You listened.”

He takes time to appreciatively take in my purple bra and ample supply of cleavage before unzipping my jeans and wiggling them down. Paxton whirls us around in one quick movement and then lifts me to sit on the countertop. The marble chills my ass through my thin panties.

I mimic his action and peel off his shirt, taking my time to soak in his god like body. Perfect abs and a dangerous v that peeks out of the top of his jeans riding low on his hips; my fingers unbutton his jeans and he shimmies them the rest of the way down.

“No strings, Scout; I’ll be out of town in three days.”

“No strings, Paxton; I’ll be teaching fifth grade in three days and won’t have time for stars like you.” I roll my eyes for a dramatic effect.

“Jesus, if I could have a girl like you while playing.” He lets out a sexy low groan. “My world would be complete.”

I wrap my arms around the back of his neck, letting my fingers run through his perfect hair. My lady parts instantly overheat and I’m more than ready for the all-star, even if it’s for one night.

“Sorry, Paxton, I have the minds of fifth graders to educate.”

“Then we have tonight.”

His lips crash onto mine and take control of the situation. His taste is dangerous and addicting. I let Paxton run his tongue over the inside of my mouth and moan. When he bites down on my lower lip, I lose all sense of control and match his punishing kiss with my lips. My hand drifts down between us until my hand covers his harden cock.

“Oh shit, Scout,” he breathes into my mouth and freezes.

My fingers sink below the elastic waist of his boxers until I have his hardened cock in my hand. I run my fingernails over the length of his shaft before I grip him and slowly begin pumping him from base to tip. Paxton takes a step back and I hop from the counter. I pull down his tight fitting boxers until they hit the tile floor.

If I thought his body and looks were spot on, then his dick is officially crowned the champion. Perfect length and width fills my palm as I continue to stroke him until a bead of cum appears on the tip of it. Slowly, I sink to my knees and lick my lips before I rub them against the head of his cock.

“Scout,” Paxton warns in harsh hiss.

I know he’s going to tell me to slow down, but not even Satan could stop me now. My lips part and my vision goes up to Paxton, who’s staring down at me with a hungry look covering his face. I dart my tongue out to meet the head of his cock, taking my time to swirl around it before I take him fully in my mouth.

My hands wrap around to clutch his tight ass as my teeth glide along his cock until I reach the base and then slowly drag back. I play it cool when my gag reflex protests the massive cock trying to bob down the back of my throat. Paxton begins moving his hips to quicken the pace. I work him over for several minutes before he grabs my shoulders and pops my mouth from him.

The echoing sound of the pop circulates around the kitchen. Paxton has me standing and up in his arms before I can process anything. My ankles wrap around his waist and arms clutched around his neck. His mouth is on mine mingling both of his tastes, forming a tornado of emotion and want.

I kiss him back, biting at his bottom lip, and shoving my tongue as far into his mouth as I could. When I’m time warped back to my junior high years and my kissing ability, I try to cool my tempo. I want Paxton McNeal more than a crack whore needs their next fix.

My ass feels another cool surface below and then Paxton lets go of me and that’s when I notice I’m seated on the edge of the light maple dining room table.

“Lay back, Scout.” Paxton unclips the back of my bra and slowly drags it off with his eyes glazed over with passion.

I lay back slowly, feeling every single inch of the cool surface meet the skin on my back, causing goose bumps to race all over me. Paxton dips his thumbs under my panties on each side of my thighs and drags them down until I’m buck-naked spread out on his dining room table.