F*cking Awkward (11 page)

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Authors: Taryn Plendl,AD Justice,Ahren Sanders,Aly Martinez,Amanda Maxlyn,B.A. Wolfe,Brooke Blaine,Brooke Page,Carey Heywood,Christine Zolendz

BOOK: F*cking Awkward
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Becca emerged from the bathroom in pajama pants and a t-shirt, plopping herself down next to Tyler on their bed. “The snow is going to die down in the morning. We should still be able to get to the cabin in a decent amount of time.”

“I even set my alarm,” Tyler grumbled, rolling away from Becca and getting comfortable under the covers. Becca climbed under the covers with him, snuggling against his back.

I sighed, giving in to the fact I would be stuck in this tiny room for the night with too much company.

Jamie gave me a slight smile. Even with tired eyes, she was the most gorgeous woman alive.

My lip quirked into a grin. Sliding between the wall and the bed, I made my way to her side, kissing the top of her head. “Let me lay him down.”

She nodded, cautiously handing our sleeping baby boy to me.

Jamie stood and followed me the short distance to Landon’s pack-n-play. Just as I set him down, Jamie’s hand wrapped around my waist, cupping my cock. “Want to join me in the shower?”

My dick rose to the occasion. Jamie giggled in my ear, then coyly wedged her way between the pack-n-play and the wall to enter the bathroom.

Glancing toward Tyler and Becca, I noticed they hadn’t moved. Landon was passed out and cozy in his bed. Now was the time to get some well needed relief.

Following Jamie’s steps, I squeezed between Landon’s bed and the wall, all too eager to join my wife in the hot water.

Jamie was still in the door frame once I got through the tight space. Wrapping my hands around her waist, I pressed my erection to her lower back, wanting her to feel how excited and ready I was to be alone with her. To my surprise, she didn’t move forward. My lips found her neck, gently sucking and nipping.

“Um, baby…” Jamie said with humor in her voice.

“Um, what?” I murmured seductively, keeping my attention solely on her. She grabbed my hands, removing my attention from her body and to-
What the hell?
“Is this a fucking airport bathroom?”

Jamie softly chuckled, stepping into the smallest space for a bathroom I had ever seen. One step was all she needed, and found herself between the sink and the toilet, then a homemade stand up shower stall.

“No way in hell does this meet code,” I chided, pressing my body closer to Jamie’s. Closing the door was going to be hard to do with the two of us in here.

“Hmm, I don’t know, the puke green tile seems fitting,” Jamie teased, reaching for the bulge in my pants.

My brow rose. This miniscule bathroom wasn’t going to stop me from fucking my wife. “We just might have to get creative.”

Her hand squeezed my cock. “Good thing we both work in an imaginative field.”

Yes, yes it was.
One hand reached to shut the door while the other snaked around Jamie’s waist. But there was a problem. The fucking door wouldn’t shut.

Jamie’s eyebrows furrowed while I struggled. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s jammed,” I grumbled, attempting to turn around so I could see the door. Jamie’s front pressed against me now, and she giggled by how difficult it was for us to adjust ourselves in this position. A towel was crammed in the door jam. “How crappy is this place?” I said in a harsh whisper.

Jamie ignored my attitude, rustling behind me then opening the curtain to the shower, that I only assumed to be as big as a raisin box.

Finally, after three big tugs, the wash towel was removed, and I could close the old rickety door.

“Well, now that that’s figured out-” I carefully turned, well aware of our spatial confinement.

The difficult area we were working with quickly faded as my eyes raked over my wife's now half naked body. Her shirt was tossed to the floor, and that sexy black lacy bra that made her tits pop out of my filthy dream became a reality.

She seductively bit her lip, lowering her jeans down her hips. She was confident in her body after having a baby six months ago, and I fucking loved it.

Her hands grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head so it was laying on top of hers.

Not being able to control myself any longer, I closed the small space between us, lifting her to wrap her legs around my waist. Except when I did, her head caught the shower curtain rod, knocking it out of place and making a loud crash.

Jamie covered her mouth from laughing, but then quickly reached for her head.

“Jesus, are you okay?” I asked sincerely.

She nodded, a huge grin on her face. I couldn’t help but chuckle with her.

I moved more cautiously this time, slowly rotating so I could set her down on the sink.

The moment I let her weight fall on the porcelain, a loud crack happened, and Jamie’s body jerked forward, causing me to lose my balance and fall backward, straight into the toilet.

A sharp pain from hitting the back of the toilet in such a rush shot through my back.

“Oh my God,” Jamie laughed while straddling me. “I broke the sink!”

I laughed with her, but quickly covered her mouth, attempting to hold in my own cackles. If all the noises we both had just made hadn’t woken up our other company it would be a miracle.

We both sat uncomfortably for a moment, waiting for sound to emerge behind the door, but nothing besides a soft, simmering water leak from the sink breaking filled the air.

Jamie had so much color in her cheeks as she tried to keep herself from laughing hysterically at this fucked up situation. She really was the most exquisite woman on the planet, and I was so thankful she was mine.

Cupping her beautiful face, I kissed her lips, wanting to savor the rare moment of alone time we had before anything else terribly wrong happened.

Her gentle giggles soon turned more passionate. Hands curled around the back of my neck, pulling me in deeper so her tongue could claim my mouth. I loved when she became possessive like this, demanding and controlling. It was so fucking hot. Even if I was sitting on a toilet with a gentle mist forming around us from the slow leak in the broken sink.

My hands quickly found her bra strap, unclasping it to free her swollen breasts from nursing. I couldn’t wait to get my mouth on them. Playing with her tits didn’t happen as often as I liked because they were still tender, but I was willing to be as gentle as I need to be in order to get my hands and lips on them.

She leaned back, setting her hands on my knees so those perky globes were right in my face.

I examined them, taking a big breath of appreciation before my hands roamed up her rips to cup each breast.

“Careful,” Jamie said quietly.

“Always,” I assured her, tilting my head and pressing my tongue to one taut nipple. She moaned in delight, rubbing her jean covered clit against my rock hard cock.

She loved when I played with her tits as much as I did. She wiggled her shoulders, letting my face enjoy their plumpness. It was such a tease when she did this. I didn’t know if I wanted to bite them or put my cock between them. Instead, I reached up and squeezed each one.

I opened my mouth too fucking soon to suck on her nipples, because the second I grasped her boobs, breast milk shot me in all different directions from each nipple. I mean that shit was coming out of more than just those perky little buds. My face scrunched as my mouth snapped shut.

When I opened my eyes, Jamie’s head was tilted back, her mouth hanging open and eyes squeezed shut while she continued to rock. She had no idea she was shooting me with breast milk.

She pouted when she realized my hands left her tits, but I quickly diverted, not wanting her to get embarrassed. Wiping my face swiftly with one hand, I lifted her again, this time stepping into the shower. The space in there wasn’t forgiving either, but I needed to get this fucking breast milk off my body.

Setting Jamie down on two feet, I went on my knees before her, unsnapping her jeans in a rush and yanking them down her legs along with her panties. She moaned in delight, knowing what I was about to do. She smelled so sweet, I completely forgot that I was covered in tit milk.

My mouth hummed over her mound, causing her body to shudder.

With a deep, husky breath, Jamie said, “Mitch, I don’t know if I can be quiet if you do this.”

I licked her clit faster, wanting to hear her let loose. Her moaning my name was so sexy.

“Mitch,” she groaned through gritted teeth again, clutching my hair in her hand. The way she tugged made my cock twitch. I ignored her, taking turns swirling my tongue around her sensitive nub and sucking it between my teeth.

Looking up, I wanted to see her face tighten as she came, but was greeted by something else.

A shower of fucking breast milk,
again
.

I winced, turning my head, and unfortunately, this time Jamie was watching.

“Oh my God!” She muffled through her hand. One arm covered her spurting breasts the best it could while the other remained covering her mouth.

Wiping my face one more time, I stood to face her. The look in her eyes was mortifying.

“Don’t worry about it,” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been sprayed before.”

Her hand was trying to contain her smile now. “Really?”

I nodded. “Yes, maybe not that intense, but it’s natural… I think?”

Jamie shook her head and snorted. I laughed as quietly as I could with her.

After we had collected ourselves, Jamie unbuttoned my pants. “Let’s clean you up.”

Stripping bare, I agreed, turning on the water faucet. Warm water cascaded down our bodies, misting along with the slow leak from the sink since the shower curtain had broken off to block the water from the rest of the bathroom.

“Can we finish what we started, please?” Jamie asked sweetly, kissing my pec muscle.

I cupped her pussy, catching her off guard and getting a sexy little shrill to release from her lips. “Turn around and I’ll see what I can do.”

She whimpered, but obeyed once I took my hand away. Planting my hands on either side of her hips, I ran my cock between her ass cheeks, enjoying how nicely they had rounded from her pregnancy as well.

Bending as far as she could, she wiggled her ass and stood on her tip toes, demanding entry.

I wasn’t one to hold out on her, so I plunged forward, filling her completely. She moaned against the grain of the shower water, and I cursed from how tight she felt.

“You’ve been doing your exercises,” I hissed, pulling out, then slamming back into her.

She squeezed my cock with that tight pussy, and I groaned again, thrusting forward again.

“Harder,” she demanded, arching her back as much as she could in the small space. I grabbed her shoulder with one hand, keeping my other on her hip. I had a good hold on her now. The pounding I was prepared to give her wouldn’t last long.

But I drove on, completely ignoring the twinge in my back from falling on the toilet, fucking her with all I had in me. It felt so amazing, and I wanted to hold on to the feeling for as long as I could, but once her walls clutched my cock, it was over. I was spurting hot and furiously inside of her.

My high came shattering down all too soon by a loud clang, and Jamie’s body jutting upward, forcing my cock to painfully slip out of her warm center.

“Ouch!” She shouted as quietly as she could, beginning to hop on one foot.

My breath was ragged, “What’s wrong?
Fuck!

Ice cold water blasted from the shower head, causing Jamie to shriek again. She crashed back into me, trying to get away from the freezing water, toppling us both to the ground, still being pelted with what felt like ice.

“I grabbed the handle when I was coming,” Jamie chattered, trying to scurry off me and out of the water. “It broke off and fell on my toe!” Sure enough, blood was streaking the tile floor.

We were both slippery as shit trying to get out of that tiny space, but finally, we smashed ourselves between the broken sink and toilet. Both our eyes took in our surroundings, then an enormous laugh erupted from us both.

This was from a fucking comedy skit. Water everywhere, broken fixtures, and two naked people with a fucked up back and bleeding toe.

I reached over my head to where the towels were hanging, throwing one at Jamie. We were still laughing uncontrollably.

Then a knock sounded on the bathroom door. “What the hell is going on in there?” Tyler asked. He was clearly irritated. Once I saw my wife was covered by the towel, and my legs, because let’s not forget, there was no fucking space for two people to sit on the floor in this shit hole, I responded through tears of laughter.

“You can open the door.”

Jamie laughed harder into her hands.

Tyler yanked open the door, his eyes widening as he searched the space, then landed on Jamie and me. I couldn’t read his expression, and I really didn’t give two shits what he was thinking because this was all just too hilarious.

“This is going on your credit card, NOT mine,” he said firmly, then closed the door.

Jamie and I laughed harder.

After the tears had subsided, Jamie climbed on my lap. I kissed her nose, “I think we just solidified that we are perfect for each other.”

“How’s that?”

“What other couple would go through that and still get off in the process?”

“I love you,” she giggled.

I kissed her again. “I love you too.”

The End

B
rooke Page is
a contemporary romance author who loves writing romantic suspense novels that will lead her readers through twists and turns with each page. She wants her readers to feel like they are a part of the thrill, making their hearts race from not only passion but also the intensity of the story. Brooke has a craft for weaving steam and mystery, giving her readers a story they won't want to put down. Find more from Brooke
HERE
.

One Night Oh God No
Carey Heywood


A
nother
,” I order, tapping the rim of my shot glass.

“Are you sure?” Heidi, my best friend asks with a raised brow.

See, she’s usually the wild one and I’m the voice of reason. I’ve talked her out of many a shot of tequila more times than I can count. Our roles being reversed, is a first for her.

Normally, I don’t drink and I don’t like feeling out of control. Tonight, I don’t want to feel anything.

At first, when I told her my plans for the evening she laughed. I don’t blame her.

She isn’t laughing now.

“Yep, then we’re going to find me a guy to fuck.”

She blinks at my use of the f word.

See, that isn’t something the old me would think, let alone say. That is of course until I found out my fiancé was cheating on me, with another man.

I, Sasha Elizabeth Haven, have been the unknowing beard to Paul Donovan Wilson for god knows how long.

Since our first date?

Did he know then?

Did he know when I gave him my virginity after two years of dating?

He was sweet and safe and treated me like a queen. How could I have been such an idiot? I can’t even say hindsight is twenty-twenty because I still don’t see him as anything other than the perfect boyfriend turned fiancé.

Sure, our passion was on the low side of the scale. At least from how lovemaking is described in books or what it looks like in movies.

Yes, he’s never given me an orgasm, but I read somewhere that lots of women can’t orgasm during sex.

And yes, half of the time we tried to make love he would go soft but I had convinced myself that was normal too. Why else would there be a ton of different pills out there just to help a guy keep it up?

That wasn’t the reason though, it was me. Paul hadn’t wanted me. He had no problems keeping it up while he rammed it into his personal trainer, Greg.

I watch, first horrified to find him cheating and then strangely fascinated to see him turned on in a way that he had never, not once been with me.

He was so powerful, so dominant, and so rough with Greg while also saying seriously sexy as heck things to him.

This did not appear to be their first rodeo. If an approaching hurricane hadn’t of caused my company to cancel their retreat I may have never caught him.

What would we have done then, gotten married, tried to have children?

A life together with him getting more than one daily workout with Greg?

I’m pissed and relieved all at the same time. Dating Paul had been a trap, a trap I wanted at the time but still. He asked me out the second week of our sophomore year of high school and the rest was history.

He was the perfect gentleman. My parents loved him, his parents loved me and we were standing hand in hand on a conveyor belt of destiny.

With Paul by my side I never had to worry about finding a date to a winter formal or Prom. He was handsome, so so handsome, and still is.

We both went to state and our parents didn’t bat an eyelash when we moved in together junior year.

Nope, the only person who ever expressed one peep of concern was Heidi, who dutifully refills my shot glass.

As soon as it is full I throw it back and stand, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand as I try not to cough from the burn of alcohol sliding down my throat. “Do I look one-night-standable?”

She sets the bottle of tequila down and shakes her head but still says, “Yes Sasha, you look very sexy.”

I glance down; still surprised to see all the cleavage I was rocking. Lifting a hand to each of my breasts I squeeze them and lift them, bouncing them a bit while Heidi covers her eyes.

“This bra is like boob magic,” I whisper, still amazed by my own boobs.

It’s not like I didn’t have okay boobs, I did. They just weren’t crazy big or all cleavage-y normally.

“It’s a push up bra babe,” Heidi laughs and reaches to pull one of my arms down.

“A magical push up bra,” I agree.

She nods, still shaking her head. “We’re not going anywhere until you drink one giant glass of water.”

I frown, thinking of all of the times I’ve said those words to her. I don’t want water. I want to get drunk and have a guy do me like he means it.

“Fine,” I grumble.

She laughs as she walks to her kitchen. I’m crashing with her until I can find a new place. Paul can have the apartment; I’m never going back there.

She comes back with a gigantic cup of water.

“I’ll be peeing all night,” I groan, reaching for it.

She nods. “You’ll thank me for it tomorrow. Plus, if you’re hell bent on screwing a random tonight, you do not want to be sloppy drunk just happy buzzed.”

“Why can’t I be sloppy drunk?” I argue.

She frowns at me. “It’s one thing to have drunk sex with a guy you’re dating, it’s another thing altogether with a stranger. Any guy who’d have sex with a girl who was sloppy drunk is a jerk who might not listen if she gets sober and changes her mind.”

“Okay,” I murmur, her words sobering me more than the trough of water she brought me.

I’ve only ever made love, or what I thought was love with one guy. I don’t know how to be single.

She sees my expression and gives my hand a squeeze. “I have a finely tuned asshole radar. If you absolutely must have a one night stand I’ll make sure you end up with a decent guy.”

I squeeze her hand back. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Which is the only reason I’m going along with this.”

She’s the best friend a girl could have. I dutifully drink every drop of water while she watches. Once my cup is empty she takes it from me and sets it on the coffee table behind us.

“Lets go.”

The bar is packed when we get there and my nerves are starting to kick in. “Is it okay if I have a drink as long as it isn’t another shot?”

She nods and leans against the bar, giving the bartender a decent view of her rack. Heidi does not need any push up to help emphasize her boobs.

The bartender gets one look at her and hurries over to take our order. She gives him a wave and a grin before turning back to me and passing me a fruity drink.

I take one sip and then another. “Holy crap this is good.”

She lifts her index finger. “One glass of water for every one of these you drink.”

“Yes, mom,” I reply before taking another sip.

She takes my other hand and leads me toward the most crowded part of the bar, the section closest to the stage where a band plays.

There’s a grouping of high top tables and chairs off to the side, all of them taken. I try to tug on her arm. She looks back at me, and motions for me to keep following her, so I do.

She leads us right to one table where three guys are already sitting and watching the band. One of them stands when he sees her approach and pulls her into a hug once she’s close enough for him to reach.

She looks back at me, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

Interesting.

She introduces me to the hugger, “Nick, this is my friend Sasha.”

Shouting over the music, he introduces the both of us to his friends, Matt and Jason.

I know, in that moment, if he’s willing, which I hope he is, that I want to end up in bed with Matt tonight.

It’s the glasses. I don’t know what it is about them but he has this whole Clark Kent nerdy hot guy thing going on.

In fact the only thing throwing me off is the diamond stud in his ear.

I push in closer to him and set my drink on the table next to his. “What’s up with the earring?”

His hand reaches for it, and he turns the stud with his thumb and forefinger. Suddenly I have a vision of him doing that to my nipple and I have to press my legs together.

“Do you like it?” He laughs, his mouth opening to show me his pearly white teeth.

This is good. This is good. It’d be hard to want to kiss him if it looked like he didn’t take care of his teeth.

I shake my head and laugh as well. “It makes you look like a pirate.”

Jason laughs and smacks Nick’s shoulder. “She said Matt’s earring makes him look like a pirate.”

They both laugh while Heidi and I give them confused looks. Why was that so funny?

Matt leans in closer to explain. “I was a pirate for Halloween. They dared me to get the earring to go with the costume and then bet me I wouldn’t keep wearing it.”

“How long do you have to wear it to win the bet?” I ask.

“Till next Halloween,” he replies.

I move in closer and watch as his eyes flick to my boobs before moving back to my eyes. Yay magic bra.

“What do you get if you win?” I ask.

He shifts his glasses up his nose before replying, “bragging rights.”

My mouth drops. “That’s it?”

Jason leans in on my other side. “I would have taken it out after a day.”

My eyes move over Matt’s handsome face, taking in the strong cut of his jaw and his oh so kissable lips before moving back over to his ear.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s growing on me.”

When Matt and Jason get up to go grab all of us another round I pull Heidi close. “Find out if he’s single.”

She throws her arm around my shoulder and moves her mouth to my ear. “Already did and Nick said he thinks he’s interested in you because he keeps checking you out.”

I suppress my desire to squeal and ask, “Should I go for it, do you think he’s a good guy?”

She leans back waiting until my eyes are on hers to nod and say, “oh yeah. I’ve known Nick for awhile and he vouched for him.”

I bite my lip. “Okay, how do I make him want me?”

She leans in again and whispers, “find excuses to touch him. Put your hand on his thigh, his arm, and his chest and see what he does. Oh, and stand for a bit. That way when Jason and him come back there isn’t a chair for you and you can ask to sit in his lap.”

My mouth drops. She is a genius.

I slide off my chair once I see them coming back.

I laugh when I see Matt brought me a water and another fruity drink. Like a good girl I gulp down the water before I start my other drink.

After taking a sip, I rest my hand on his thigh and lean in close to him to thank him for getting it for me. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as I feel the heat from his muscular thigh warm my hand.

I want him.

Taking Heidi’s advice, I touch him every chance I get and am thrilled when he starts to return the favor. In fact, I don’t even have to ask to sit in his lap, after I causally ask if we should try to find another chair he tugs me into it.

One moment I was standing and now I’m sitting on him. I don’t want to act like an animal in heat but it’s taking everything I have not to wiggle my ass against him.

I lean against him, my eyes settling on that ridiculous diamond stud in his ear. I can’t help it; I giggle which makes him turn his face to look at me.

We’re nose to nose. “What’s so funny?”

I gulp. “I never thought a guy wearing an earring would turn me on.”

His legs shift under me, his arms moving to circle me in a tight band around my waist. “Oh yeah?”

Instead of answering him, I kiss him, hard. There’s a moment of hesitation on his part, enough for me to panic before he kisses me back, just as hard.

My mouth opens under his and his tongue slides in. He tastes like whiskey and want.

My hands move into his thick dark hair. It’s full and soft with a hint of a curl. I imagine my hands in his hair as he does things to me with his tongue.

That has me breaking our kiss and panting as I say, “I’ve only had sex with one man my whole life and it turns out he was gay. Will you please have sex with me?”

He blinks at me, his eyes searching my face before he says, “Let’s go.”

I grin and he leans in to kiss me again. This time I taste nothing but his desire. Still, I break it; I want to do a whole lot more than kiss him.

I slide off his lap and grab my purse before leaning into Heidi and saying, “we’re leaving.”

She kisses my cheek and whispers, “go get him tiger.”

He takes my hand and pulls me from the bar, leading us in the opposite direction of the parking lot.

I point back towards the cars and he replies, “I walked. My place is just up around the corner from here.”

His place. Where he is going to have sex with me.

My hand squeezes his and he slows his pace until he stops, turning to face me, his hands moving into my hair. “We don’t have to do anything. We can just hang out.”

I wet my lips and say, “I’ve never had an orgasm I didn’t give myself.”

His fingers tighten in my hair and he lowers his face to mine, taking my mouth in a brutal kiss that leaves me certain of his passion before saying, “that’s changing tonight.”

We practically run to his apartment. Once we reach his door, he presses me up against the wall next to it, his erection grinding against me. “I’m going to make you come so hard you scream.”

Yes. Oh God Yes.

As soon as his door is open we’re a tangle of hands and mouths, stripping each other as we kiss. I’m so turned on I could burst, or, or I could just burst.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

All that water made me really have to pee. “Where’s your bathroom?”

He blinks down at me. His jeans are unbuttoned, his hoodie off, his t-shirt is still half on through one arm, and his glasses sit crookedly on his nose.

My shirt is off and his large hands are cupping my, still bra wearing, breasts. Yes, this is a bizarre moment to stop and ask where the bathroom is.

He lifts one of his hands from my breast to gesture toward an open door down a hall. “It’s there.”

“I’ll be right back. I just drank a lot of water and am about to pee myself,” I explain, half running to the bathroom.

After I go, and go, and go some more, holy crap I had to go, I flush. Then, as I wash my hands I stare at my reflection. My first thought, geez this bra makes my boobs look awesome, my second; I cannot wait to let Matt make me come so hard I scream.

I dry my hands and go in search of him.

“In here,” I hear and head that way.

He’s in his bedroom. His shoes, socks and t-shirt are now off but his jeans are still on.

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