Favorite Wife (12 page)

I closed the door and wiped at the hot tears filling my eyes. “Get control of yourself!” I breathed, as I moved blindly across the living room.

I had forgotten my raincoat in Ervil's room. I didn't care. The cool rain felt good on my hot face. I moved swiftly down the muddy road until I rounded the corner, then I slowed my pace to fit my anguished, heart-wrenching mood.

“Oh, Lord,” I sobbed aloud, the drizzle running into my eyes and mouth, “I don't know what's right anymore. Am I supposed to trust that guy? Is he truly Your servant, and does he speak for You? I don't know what to believe. I thought You were guiding me! Oh, God, I thought You were guiding me,” my shoulders shook as I stumbled down the road.

“Susan! Susan, wait!” Behind me, a voice called through the rain. I turned and peered through the downpour. Kris was swathed in yellow rain gear, with a hood over her shiny brown hair. Her lovely face, as she neared me, had a tentative smile. “You forgot your raincoat,” she said, holding it out to me.

“Oh, Kris,” I began, wanting desperately for her to understand, “I don't know what to say . . .”

“No,” she interrupted, her voice gentle, “you don't have to say a word. Ervil told me what happened. I just didn't realize . . . It was a shock, is all . . . But I want you to know I'm thrilled! Oh, Susan, I mean it. Really I do. We need you in our family.” Her eyes shone with seriousness and with just a trace of tears in the corners. She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight. Her voice broke as she whispered in my ear, “Welcome, Susan, welcome into our family.”

C
HAPTER
N
INE

D
ays after Ervil having told me of his visit with God, I sat in the kitchen with Mom, a huge tub of freshly picked green beans between us. We were snapping the ends, readying them for the pressure cooker. Suddenly, the back door flew open and Maria stomped in. Her round face was a picture of fury. Black eyes blazed as she pulled out a kitchen chair and dropped into it.

“Ay, Mathel,” she stormed in broken English, “You will not believe what I just hear! I just come from my papa's house, and he say they are going to be forcing us to keep the Civil Law. Can you believe it?”

“What?” Mom eyed Maria, alarmed.

“Yes! Is the truth. I tell you, that's what the men are saying, they are soon putting people to death or other punishments, like common criminals, right here in Colonia LeBaron,” Maria nodded vehemently and chewed on a raw green bean.

“What in heaven's name are you talking about? They can't do that! Even if they wanted to bring the Civil Law of Moses back, the laws of the land wouldn't allow it.” Mom's voice sounded wary.

“I know, that is what I was saying to Papa,” Maria snapped, “that even if there were bad ones among us, adulteros and thieves, you know, don't our leaders see they would have the gobierno all mad over them? It's that maldito Ervil and Dan Jordan, I just know it. It's another of Ervil's planes estupidos.”

I stared at Maria in shock. I sort of knew what she was speaking of, but I hadn't really grasped the full meaning of it until now. Were they actually thinking of putting to death the people who broke the Ten Commandments, or the Civil Law of God, as we called it? Oh, no. As usual, Maria was getting things twisted. It would never happen. There wasn't a criminal of that nature among us. True, Dan Jordan's Sunday school lessons every week had been about the Civil Law. And he had spoken in church yesterday on the same subject. Why did Maria think Ervil had anything to do with it? Ervil hadn't been to church for weeks, because of illness. I recalled Dan's speech in detail as I listened to Maria. Suddenly it was making sense.

“Now, calm down,” Mom tried to soothe her. “I'm sure the men don't plan on literally carrying out the punishments; they're just trying to explain to us what life was like back in the days of Moses. Maybe one day in the distant future some of those ways will be put into practice again. But I'm sure Joel would never try to take the law into his own hands. They're only trying to teach us the positive side of the Ten Commandments—you know, encourage us to put the Lord first and keep the Sabbath Day holy. They would never try to put anyone to death; don't be silly! The government wouldn't allow it.” Mom shook her head vehemently as she shoved beans into a quart jar.

“No, no, I'm not saying Joel!” Maria fairly shouted. “I'm saying Ervil. He's the one, and Joel knows nothing! Joel's over there in Baja and has no idea what Ervil's up to. Oh, I wish Vern was here.” Maria pinched her nose and looked ready to cry.

I kept silent and busy with the green beans, but my mind was in a whirl. Was this what the church was coming to—actual enforcement of the Ten Commandments, as the Bible referred to the twenty-first chapter of Exodus—“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth?” That's what Dan had elaborated on yesterday. The thought sent chills down my spine. I needed to learn more about this before seeing Ervil again or answering him as to marriage. If he was in favor of enforcing the death penalty here in the colony, I wanted to know.

It had been four days since I last saw Ervil. Debbie had mentioned in Sunday school that he'd moved camp and was now staying with Kris. Although I was dreading it, it was time I visited.

The following afternoon, after school I bolstered my courage and hurried across the northern part of the colony to Kristina's. Her home was colorfully furnished, clean and neat, and I glanced around in appreciation. Our home was so bare and shabby in comparison. I definitely planned to have a nice place like this when I got married.

“I'm so glad you finally came!” Kris whispered. “Please know that you're always welcome here. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you'll join our family soon—Anna Mae and I both are. I'll just leave you and Ervil alone.” She smiled brightly as she left me at her bedroom door. Her acceptance of me, especially after the shock of seeing me in Ervil's arms last week, was remarkable. He certainly had Kris convinced to accept whatever he did without question. I marveled at her strength and her trust in him.

Ervil was fully dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed with a church pamphlet in his hand. “Hey, young lady! I've been thinking about you.” His bluish-gray eyes lit up, the strength of his personality overpowering as he motioned for me to sit by him.

“So, what's going on? Umm, let me guess. You've thought things over and have decided to marry me.”

I threw him a faint smile as I seated myself. He certainly wasn't wasting any words today. He wanted an answer, and now. “No, I haven't had enough time to make a decision,” I said quickly. “I have been hearing some things, and I want to know if they're true.”

“Shoot,” he grinned. He looked huge and ruggedly masculine as he sat beside me. His white shirt accented his broad shoulders, and I couldn't help but look appreciatively at him. Now that he wasn't sick, he looked positively handsome. But I needed to keep my mind on my business. Taking a shaky breath, I plunged ahead.

“Well, first of all, I'll admit I don't know a lot about church doctrine, but I do know that the talk going around about the enforcement of the Civil Law is sort of scaring me. Is that really going to happen? Are you pushing for the death penalty to be enforced among church members?”

He leaned back against the bedpost and cupped his knee in his hands, then calmly asked, “Why should that scare you? The only people who would be affected by it would be those who broke the commandments. You're not planning to do that, are you?” His question sounded playful.

I shook my head, frowning.

“I didn't think so. Look at it this way—won't it be wonderful to be able to leave your house unlocked and know that no one will be stealing from you? We're going to have to start thinking in those terms before you know it. We won't always be a small, neighborly church. Once the law is enforced, all people who join us will take it seriously. They won't be tempted to commit a crime if they know they will have to pay the penalty.” Ervil's voice had risen slightly, his thin lips twisting into a sneer, and then he seemed to recall himself. His voice lowered again to almost a whisper.

“Don't you see, we're talking about God's law, not mine. All the way through the Old Testament people abided by that law. Why should we question it? When is a better time to begin the practice of it than now, while we're still a small gathering? We're His chosen people and we shouldn't have to be governed by heathen outsiders. Crime has got to stop throughout the world before Jesus can come again, and it needs to start with us.”

I searched his face as he talked, and I found myself agreeing with his logic. I hadn't thought about it that way. When he explained, it made sense. Ervil was wise and farseeing, and I was a fool to question his judgment.

“Don't let all that worry you,” he dismissed the subject with a wave of his hand. “It'll be ages before we come up to that standard. Ignorant people are just making a big deal out of it. They're not using their heads or reading the Scriptures.” His voice was filled with contempt, his eyes hard. Then they softened as he smiled at me.

With a sweep of his arm he pulled me onto his lap. “Now,” he said, grinning, “let's talk about something important, like us. How about coming over for a pinochle game tonight? Just you and me, Anna Mae and Kris. Sound like fun?”

For the next few nights, the pinochle games at Kris's house became the highlight of my existence. With averted eyes I told my mother that Kris was the one who had invited me. Ervil had insisted that I not tell my parents about him yet. He was completely well now, and he and his wives always made me feel like a part of the family. We had a great time, and I felt very grown up and important. Kris made popcorn and fudge and other goodies, and every night was a party.

Ervil had ceased to pressure me for an answer to his proposal. He seemed content to wait and let me acquaint myself with him. I was beginning to feel very comfortable in his presence. He had hugged and kissed me several times, and it no longer seemed so distasteful.

“I'd rather you not tell your folks anything about what's going on,” he stressed again one afternoon when we were alone. “I'm not saying you don't have wonderful parents, Susan; your Dad's a brilliant man, and a born organizer. I'd make him a bishop if he'd quit smoking. For some reason your Mom and Dad act like they don't necessarily like me, and we wouldn't want to upset the apple cart at this point. So let's just keep things between us.”

I had reluctantly agreed. My parents didn't understand Ervil at all, and if they were to learn about us, they would immediately halt everything.

I finally wrote to Verlan, breaking off our courtship. Ervil had insisted I do so, and I knew it was inevitable. Verlan had to be told before he returned for fall conference, believing that we were still courting. I closed my mind to the image of his face and grimly scribbled off a quick, terse note. I was sorry for leading him on, I wrote, but I had given a lot of thought to marrying him and decided it wasn't the right thing for me. I wished him well, and signed off, “Sincerely, Susan.” He'll probably be relieved, I thought sadly. I dropped it in the mailbox.

One Saturday afternoon as I hurried toward Anna Mae's, I encountered Debbie. I'd seen little of her since Ervil had asked me to marry him. She still lived with Anna Mae, but she spent most of her time at Franny's. As we walked, she opened a subject that immediately filled me with consternation.

“Oh, Susan, I'm so excited!” she whispered, her upturned hazel eyes snapping. “Ervil told me he was courting another girl too, but I had no idea that it was you! Oh, this is going to be so much fun! Can you imagine the riot we'll have, with both of us married to the same guy? We, my dear, are going to have a total blast!”

I gave Debbie a startled glance. A knot had instantly formed in my throat, and it was getting bigger and bigger with her every word. Ervil was courting Debbie, too, and he hadn't even bothered to tell me? Oh, I thought, grimly, this is too much! It was unheard of for a man to court two girls at the same time.

I looked away from Debbie's happy face and fought to compose myself. How could Ervil do this? Why hadn't he warned me? And why did I feel so angry about it? I was the one who had been raised in the church. I was the one who had such high ideals about polygamy and living in harmony. Was I just jealous? Debbie was a new convert, still saddled with Babylonian ideas, and yet she was thrilled about sharing a fiancé with me, and later, a husband. She was obviously strong and selfless like Anna Mae and Kris, and I, on the other hand, was weak and being childish.

“What about Mark?” I asked, my voice cracking. “I thought you were crazy about him.”

Debbie chewed on a corner of her lip. Shrugging, she said, “Mark is just a kid, Susan. He's got fun and games on his mind, not serving the Lord. It will take him years to grow up. Ervil thinks that . . . Oh, never mind. He's your cousin. Far be it from me to say anything negative about him.”

What was she talking about? Mark was a wonderful young man! What had Ervil said about him? I stomped along at her side in stony silence.

She was impervious to my withdrawn mood and continued babbling. “You know, as much as Ervil will be gone, with all his other wives and church business and stuff, we should tell him we'd like to live together in the same house! That way we can be company for each other. Bitchin' idea, don't you think?”

“I guess you're right,” I muttered.

“We can fix up some old place and have a garden and grow some real cool flowers. It will be so neat, like playing house only this will be the real thing!” Debbie giggled, her eyes dancing. “You're on your way over there now, aren't you? Why don't you talk to him about it?”

In spite of my muddled thoughts I smiled at her enthusiasm. “Okay,” I agreed.

It took me a few minutes to get my temper under control before I dared enter Ervil's room. I sat on the couch at Anna Mae's and played with her children, while remembering Ervil's face when he relayed his revelation to me. I was destined to become his wife. Why was I fighting it? I needed to be happy about Debbie and not mind sharing my future husband with another new wife. I concentrated on all the reasons I should be pleased. Debbie was a lot of fun. She was a good person, and I would be lucky to have her for a sister-wife. We would both be a blessing to Ervil's family, and I needed to stop mistrusting his every move. With these thoughts firmly in mind, I finally tapped on Ervil's bedroom door.

“There you are!” His eyes were bright with animation, and he jumped up and wrapped his arms around me. “Has Debbie talked to you? What do you think?” He kissed the top of my head and then looked down into my face. His eyes searched mine.

“Wait a minute,” he said slowly. “You don't look too thrilled. And I thought you would be, because you and Debbie are friends.”

“Yes, we're friends,” I snapped, “But why couldn't you have talked to me about this? You know, warned me? Prepared me? I didn't have a clue until today, but she knew about me! Why didn't you just tell me yourself instead of having her do it?” I pulled away from his arms and sat wearily on the bed.

“I didn't realize you'd take it so hard,” he said gently. “She wanted to be the one to tell you. She thought you'd be as glad about her as she is about you.” He paused, his voice taking on a businesslike tone, “I may as well tell you now, I'm also courting Teresa Rios, you know, Brother Rios's daughter, the one who lives in the mountains.”