Fast Forward (20 page)

“I love you too.” He didn’t move his fingers away from his screen. “I miss you,” he mumbled.

I was about to say goodbye when the bulky figure of Vince Loretti filled the screen.

“The case worker allowed you ten minutes and we have to follow her instructions.”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Loretti.” I tried to take the sarcasm away from the greeting, but failed. The guy didn’t acknowledge me anyway. He was signaling for Lucas to leave the room. Lucas did so reluctantly.

Once I saw him disappear behind the door in the background, I got straight to the point. “Can you explain how on earth Lucas is spending Christmas with you?”

He shrugged his shoulders like I’d seen him do after Mr. Guidi’s funeral. “We got approved for adoption last month. They told us we could foster in the meantime and Lucas needed a home for the holidays because you bailed on him.”

“That’s not true,” Cassie shouted and pointed at him. “You’d better not fill his head with lies like that or I swear I—”

I laid my hand on her thigh and applied a slight pressure. “You should be more careful with what you say to Lucas. For his sake… and yours.”

Same shrug of the shoulders. “What do you mean?”

Damn
, the guy was slow on the uptake.

“You shouldn’t have told Lucas you intended to adopt him before you were even approved. Don’t forget your access so far has only been by virtue of you living next door to his foster family. It’s been unsupervised, but things can change.”

“What do you mean?” he asked again.

“I’ll simply report you to Social Services.”

“That’s not fair.” The guy sounded genuinely shocked.

That was the opening I’d been looking for. “Listen, Vince. We’ve spent some time with Andrea. She’s going to be a great mom one day, but fighting over Lucas like we are now? It’s going to hurt this boy even more. Lucas needs to find love and stability.”

“I don’t understand you guys. You gave up on him when he was born and now you’re coming back to mess up his life again. Andrea and I, we’re good people. We’ll be a real family for Lucas.”

“We’re
his
family.” I heard the anger in Cassie’s voice. Her jaw was now set tight and she was gearing up for a fight. Loretti was lucky to be on the other side of that screen.

I interweaved my fingers with hers and turned my attention back to Loretti. “Christmas was a little setback. We’ll be in touch with our lawyer as soon as we get back to D.C. But that’s not the point anyway.” I leaned forward so that my shoulders filled the width of the screen. “You should ask Lucas what he wants before deciding for him.”

That got a chuckle out of Loretti. “And you think he wants you?”

I couldn’t help shaking my head in frustration. “Ask him.”

I switched off the connection.

Cassie jumped to her feet. On the other side of the table Clarissa flinched. My mom stared at my wife with the frown of concern she had when I tumbled on the field back in high school.

“So that’s it?
I’ll simply report you to Social Services
,” she mimicked my words.

I stretched back into my chair and slid my hands over my face. I let out a big sigh and stared back at Cassie. Tiredness crept into my voice. “What else did you want me to say?”

She started marching back and forth in the tattered living room. “I don’t know. But maybe we should stop
talking
and start
doing
? Capitol Hill isn’t like real life, Josh. Words aren’t the only way to fight.”

Anger burst forth from secret corners of my heart and my fist landed on the table. My mom was the one who flinched this time. “And what do you suggest? Kidnapping Lucas and fleeing to Mexico?”

Cassie froze. Her gaze swung from our three-person audience onto me directly. I straightened up, as her gaze was filled with disappointment. “Why not?” she spat out.

I shut my eyes trying to keep the temper boiling inside me under control. When I’d finally managed it, I opened my eyes. “Then what, Cassie? We live happily ever after as outlaws knocking down margaritas on a beach in Cancun?”

She shook her head, not even trying to hide her disgust. “Don’t patronize me!”

“I’m not. We can always home-school Lucas. I went to Georgetown after all. Of course, I’m not a trained doctor, so I’m not sure what we’ll do if he gets sick or needs a dentist. We won’t have any medical coverage, but who cares?”

She stepped forward, her chin held stubbornly high. “Don’t for one second imply I don’t care. I care a lot more than you ever will.”

I saw red and was on my feet in a split second. “I wasn’t the one who gave up on him in the first place. Because if you had cared enough for him
or
me after I married you, we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re now. If you hadn’t lied, Lucas would have a family now.”

“He
has
a family,” she shouted back. “Do you want to be part of it?”

Woodie’s bulky shape stepped between us. I was so angry I hadn’t seen him stand up. “Guys, calm down. Please, chill out. It was just a Skype call. That Loretti dude doesn’t have Lucas yet.”

The tension strained between Cassie and me. How long had it been there, simmering and unspoken? Had it ever really gone away?

Woodie’s cheeks had turned red as they always did when he was worked up. “I’m sick and tired of watching the two of you going at each other’s throats all the time. That’s how it ended up back in high school. I thought you’d get your act together but here we are again. Same old shit.”

His comment pissed me off. “No offense, Wood, but what do you know about our
shit
? You’ve just got married, you don’t have kids,” and because I felt very mean, “You’ve never set foot outside Steep Hill.”

The hurt showed on his pudgy face. It was official: I was a first-class asshole.

“You’re right, Josh. I’m not the big shot you are. I have a small life.” He turned toward Clarissa with a sorry smile. “And I’m selfish enough to have tied Clarissa to this small life of mine. But I’m not biting off more than I can chew.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

Woodie opened his mouth but no words came out. He looked back at Cassie, who stood to attention, her arms crossed in front of her upper body like a shield.

“I just can’t watch you guys going through this again.” He checked back on my mom, who was crying silently. “
We
watched you destroying yourselves and each other six years ago. God knows the secrets and lies killed Mrs. O’Malley as surely as diabetes did.”

Cassie swallowed a sob and buried her head between her shoulders. I had to stop myself from reaching out for her.

Woodie continued. “You were weird at our wedding and now this.” He shrugged, but it wasn’t Loretti’s annoying shrug. It was the shrug of a good man who cared. “I’ve never met this boy and I really feel for him losing his adoptive parents, but…”

Silence hung between us. “Speak up, Wood,” I prompted him.

He took a big breath and his eyes met mine. “I just hope you two... I think, I wonder,” he stammered, “I wonder if it isn’t too late for you and Lucas.”

“Woodie!” Clarissa scolded him.

His words hit me so hard I was left staring at him blankly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cassie sweeping the tears from her cheeks with the tips of her fingers.

He fidgeted, but forged on regardless, “Maybe you should try to move on, try to build a new life for yourselves.” He turned to Cassie. “Josh said Mrs. Loretti is a great woman. She could be a great mom to Lucas and you could have the same agreement you had before… an open adoption.”

It was as if Woodie had slapped Cassie across the face. Her shoulders caved in, but it didn’t last. She sprang back. “Shut up, Woodie!” She stepped toward him. “I am Lucas’s mother and I’m tired of hearing people tell me I should just move aside. I’m tired of people bullying me into giving up on him because it’d be better for him, for me… for Josh.” She challenged me with her gaze. “I’m not having an open adoption. I intend to be there for Lucas every morning when he opens his eyes and at the end of each day to kiss him goodnight, and every moment in between.” She stopped staring at Woodie to focus on me. “I’ll be doing that no matter what.”

My voice was dead cold when I asked, “Whether it’s with or without me?”

“Please, stop!” My mom cried out.

I had managed to make the two women I loved cry, and humiliated my best friend at the same time. So,
yeah
, maybe it would be better if I shut the fuck up. That was when the lights of a car broke into the night outside. Clarissa stood and went to peep through the glass of the entrance door.

“God, no!”

I joined her. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse…

I came out on the porch. The door of my father’s Escalade slammed and he walked around the hood of his SUV. With the lights of the house throwing a bright halo over the muddy driveway, I saw how red his face was. His skin looked more sallow. Before he even opened his mouth, I knew he was wasted.

“I knew I’d find you here,” he blurted out.

“Go away.”

“I’m here for your mother.” He nodded toward where her Honda was parked. “She’s got nothing to do with these white trash losers. I’m taking her back home where she belongs.”

My mom was already crying because of me. She didn’t need any more drama. I opened my mouth to give him a warning, but I was nudged aside.

Cassie now stood in front of me. She held a rifle—Mrs. O’s ancient air rifle—and it was pointed straight at my father’s chest. “MacBride, what did I say the last time I was in Steep Hill?”

“Cass, drop the gun. Let me take care of it.” She didn’t react. “Please.”

“No way. I’m tired of this insect fucking up my life. Someone has to stop him.”

My anger turned into blind rage. All my muscles tightened and I tilted my head forward. “I’d like to see my son somewhere other than through the glass of a jail visitors’ room.”

She shook her head. “This man will never let us be a family.”

I stepped forward and stood a couple of inches away from the tip of the barrel. “For once, try and think straight.”

Her gaze burned into me. “For once, try and
do
something.”

Behind me, my father whistled. “Your little bitch has quite a temper. I bet she’s a spitfire in the sack.”

His words shot me in the back. My fists curled and my jaw locked. Something snapped inside me. My brain shut down and my guts took over. I spun around and walked down the steps of the porch, one at a time, my eyes pinned on my father.

When there was less than a yard left between us, he snarled, “Now what are you going to do? The girl’s right. You talk a lot but—”

My fist rocketed into his jaw. Blood splashed out of his mouth. That wasn’t enough for me. I aimed at his stomach next. He bent double with a groan of pain and it made me feel better. I grabbed him by the back of his neck and spun him around.

Next I drove his head straight against the front of the SUV. I heard the crack his nose made against the metal. I did it again. And again and again, ignoring my mom’s screams.

Hands like paws pulled me backwards. I resisted, but my father’s body was now limp. I let the hands win over and I stumbled away from my father who was now sliding down and crumbling on the muddy ground. He was unconscious; his face a mass of blood and bruised flesh.

Woodie knelt down at his side, checking his pulse. “He’s alive, thank God.”

“I’ll call an ambulance.” I think that was Clarissa.

“No!” Woodie managed to lift my father up over his shoulders. “I’m taking him to the hospital.”

“I’ll come with you.” My mother was at Woodie’s side. “We’ll need to come up with a story. I won’t have my boy ending up in jail because of that man.”

It went fast. Woodie threw my father onto the backseat of his truck, then went straight around to the driver’s seat. The engine roared. Mom opened the door. She was about to climb in but stopped, “Joshua, whatever happens next, you will shut your mouth. Don’t try and make things right by sacrificing yourself to the police. I know how you are.” Mechanically, I helped her get into the passenger’s seat. I closed the door. She lowered the window. “You lost it tonight but, truth be told, I should have shot him the day I heard how he’d gotten rid of my grandson. It doesn’t make what you just did right though.” She shook her head. “Nothing that has happened because of your father is right anyway.”

I watched the truck speed down the driveway until its taillights disappeared into the night. Slowly I turned back into the house. Cassie hadn’t moved an inch. She still held onto the rifle as if her life depended on it, but it faced down. I walked up the steps. The skin on my knuckles started to burn. I wriggled my fingers.

I reached Cassie’s level, my arm almost brushing against hers. Our gazes locked and then held onto each other.

Her eyes gleamed with tears. Her lips trembled. “Josh, I—”