Famous (15 page)

Volunteering during the holidays was a staple in my house. Both of my parents wanted my sisters and me to never forget how lucky and privileged we were and that so many families barely scraped by.

I'd found a thread asking for “Holiday Volunteer Elves!” and clicked on it to read the information. The thread had been started by the owner of a local
racehorse rehabilitation organization, Safe Haven for Thoroughbreds. This was the organization that all of my friends had donated to on my birthday. The charity took in injured Thoroughbreds who had been hurt during a race or training and were about to be sent to slaughter. SHT also adopted Thoroughbreds who weren't wanted for some reason or other by their owners—like racehorses who were at retirement age but the owners didn't want to care for the older horses.

SHT put the older horses out to pasture to let them live out their natural lives and spend their days grazing, playing, and enjoying their well-deserved retirement.

Younger horses or those recovered from an injury went through a retraining program with volunteers who had experience with ex-racehorses. The volunteers retrained the racehorses to become suitable pleasure horses. Once the rehabilitated horses were ready, SHT held adoption events and matched new owners to horses. I'd followed the organization on Chatter for years, but hadn't seen an open call for volunteers until now.

I reread the information and clicked onto SHT's website. This was
exactly
what I'd do for my holiday charity project. If I could recruit more volunteers . . . Carina! She popped into my mind immediately. We'd
talked about how she was sad to be spending Christmas at Canterwood alone. I'd already planned on asking Mom and Dad if she could come home with me. Now I had a fail-proof plan!

I copied the link, pasted it in an e-mail, and typed a quick message to Carina:

Hey!

I was already planning to ask my parents if you could come home with me for Christmas. You interested? If so, what about helping me with this project? We'll talk about it tmrw!

Xo

~LT

I sent the message, closed my laptop, and climbed under the covers. Hours must have passed before I finally drifted to sleep with a smile on my face. I'd concocted the
parfait
holiday plan. If I executed everything right, this Christmas was going to be like no other!

ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON I SENT
a message to Taylor and Brielle.

Lauren:

Taylor & Brielle, can u guys meet me in my room at 5? Taylor, I'm getting permission from my dorm monitor for you to come inside. It shouldn't be a problem.

I watched my phone, chewing on the inside on my cheek as I waited for a response.

My phone buzzed, and I picked it up.

Brielle:

I'll be there.

Taylor's name lit up too.

Taylor:

Of course. See you at five.

“Sent it,” I said to Khloe. It was just after four, and we'd finished our riding lesson and had changed into comfy Friday night clothes—yoga pants and oversize sweaters. “They'll be here at five.”

“Proud of you,” Khlo said. She pulled on silver Puma slip-ons. “I'm heading out to meet Lex for a movie. I'll BBM you before I come back in case they're still here. I want to give you plenty of time to have a private convo.”

“Thanks, KK. You're the best.”

Once I'd talked to her about my plan, she'd immediately offered to go to the movies with a friend. I'd made it clear that she didn't have to leave—this was her room too. But Khloe had insisted.

We walked down the hallway together, and I waved as she headed out the door. I stood in Christina's doorjamb and knocked on her open door.

“Hi, Lauren,” Christina said, smiling at me. She put down the pen she was holding and motioned for me to come inside. “What's new?”

“Not much,” I said. I sank into a comfy chair on the opposite side of her desk. “Okay, actually a lot. I've had some big friendship problems recently.”

Christina leaned back in her chair. “Oh, no. I'm so sorry to hear that.”

“It got really bad, and I've been talking a lot to my other friends and my mom and sister.”

“I'm glad you found people to talk to,” Christina said. “Sometimes just talking it out can give you amazing perspective.”

I nodded. “It did. That's why I'm here. I decided that I don't want to spend my time holding grudges and being angry at people. It's not just that—I miss them even though they did something horrible to me. I want to give them a second chance.”

“That's an incredibly mature decision, Lauren,” Christina said. “I'm extremely proud of you.”

“Thank you. I came to ask a favor. I asked both of my friends to meet me in my room so we could talk. I wanted the most private place possible. Even Khloe went out for a movie so I'd have the room to myself.”

Christina nodded.

“One of my friends is a guy . . . is it okay if he comes in my room and I shut the door?”

Christina rubbed her lips together. “Lauren, you know that's against Hawthorne's policy. No boys in dorm rooms, and
especially
not with the door shut.”

I slumped in my seat.

“
But
,” Christina said, “I can tell this is serious and
you're not taking it lightly asking me. Your friends—both of them—may go into your room with the door shut. Just let me know when they leave, okay? If I knock on the door, I'll need you to answer, too.”

“Oh, of course,” I said. “Thank you so much, Christina. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. We're just going to be talking, I
promise
.”

She smiled. “I believe you. Good luck with everything. You're a smart girl, and I know you'll find a way to work it out. Come talk to me if you need an ear, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.” I got up and left her office.

Back in my room, I shut the door and stared up at the wall clock. Half an hour. Thirty minutes. One thousand eight hundred seconds. If I didn't do something, I'd just stare at the clock until Brielle and Taylor got here.

I considered BBMing Drew, but I'd already told him about the plan. He'd been incredibly supportive. When I'd first explained, he'd been cautious—not wanting me to get hurt again by either Brielle or Taylor. I told him it was a risk that I was willing to take. It wasn't in my friends' nature to hurt people, especially friends, and I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt that nothing like this would ever happen again.

It had been beyond difficult not to tell Drew about
my plan to volunteer with Safe Haven during Christmas break. It had been even harder not to tell him the new, bigger part of the plan that I'd thought of one night. But I had to wait. Things needed to be right with
all
of us before I talked to any of my friends about my holiday idea. Drew had asked me something exciting, though. He'd asked if I wanted to go out with him for Chinese food on Saturday night. I'd said
yes
in two seconds and was happy to have something fun to look forward to this weekend. The next weekend would be all business with the show.

Pushing up my sleeves, I pulled the vacuum out of the closet, made a mental list of all the things I could clean in half an hour, and got to work.

AT EXACTLY FIVE, NOT 4:59,
or 5:01, there was a knock at my door. Snippets of all the conversations I'd had with Mom, Khloe, Becca, Clare, Drew—everyone—ran through my head. They'd all helped me get here. Ultimately, it was up to me whether this invitation would be a failure or a success.

I put my hand on the doorknob. Flashes of Brielle, Taylor, Ana, me together raced through my head. I gripped the knob tighter and opened the door.

Brielle and Taylor stood apart from each other in the hallway. Brielle gave me the smile that said
I don't know if I'm supposed to smile or not
, and Taylor just stared at me.

Not one of us said a word.

Brielle shifted from one pink Converse to the other. She opened her mouth, then closed it.

“Hi.”

Taylor's voice was quiet, low, but it seemed to reverberate off the hallway walls.

“Hey,” Brielle said, following Taylor's lead. His one word seemed to have shattered the wall of silence that separated us all from each other. Taylor looked as if he'd put thought into his outfit—he had a long-sleeve red Ralph Lauren waffle-knit shirt under a wool-mix jacket. He wore clean dark-wash jeans and black Chucks.

“Hi,” I said back. I looked at each of them before tilting my head to my door. “Want to come in? I think it's better than having our convo in the hallway.”

They each nodded and followed me inside. I motioned to the love seat and chair near our coffee table.

“Feel free to sit wherever,” I said, suddenly feeling nervous. Like I'd never had either of them in my home before. “Anyone want drinks?”

Brielle perched on the edge of the love seat, and Taylor did the same on the chair.

“Um,” Brielle said. She fingered the ties on her yellow hoodie. I couldn't help but like her outfit. She'd paired the hoodie with light-gray yoga pants with a fold-over
waistband. The band was rainbow-striped, and Brielle had worked a dozen tiny colored clips into her blond hair, which was secured in a half updo. I'd always told her that she looked great in any color.

“I'm having Diet Coke,” I said, wondering if that would help.

“The same, please,” Brielle said.

“Me too, please,” Taylor said.

I got us all sodas, and they thanked me for them. Everything was so formal. So careful. As if a bomb would detonate if the wrong word was spoken or one of us did something out of line.

I opened my soda, Brielle and Taylor doing the same, and sat on the cushion next to Brielle. I turned so I could see both of them.

“I don't really know the right way to start this,” I said. “So I'm just going to talk. I have a few things I want to say, and then I want to hear from both of you.” I noticed how Taylor and Brielle wouldn't even look within arm's length of each other. “Before I start, I just want to say—you two
don't
have to purposely avoid each other in front of me. We all know what happened. By you trying not to look at each other, it only makes things more obvious. I want us all to try and remember how we used to act around each other.”

Brielle and Taylor nodded. Taylor eased back into his seat a little. Brielle stopped picking at her nail polish.

“I didn't ask you guys here to start another inquisition. You've each already told me your side of the story, and that's enough for me. I responded to each of you in the moment and out of anger. Since some time has passed and I've had space to think, there are a few new things I'd like to say.”

I clasped my hands together. “You guys were two of my best friends. I had different relationships with each of you, though they were equally important. When I found out I'd been accepted to Canterwood, some of my first thoughts were, ‘What about Taylor and me?' and ‘There's no way I'm leaving Brielle!' You were both a huge part of my life at a critical time for me. It was a time where I went through a lot of changes and leaned on both of you for support.”

I took a breath, glancing between them. Both of their eyes were glued to me.

“If someone had told me three months ago that I'd be in a fight with each of you, I would have told that person he was nuts. What's hardest for me is
not
that you two were together, but that you kept it a secret, then lied about it and used Ana to help cover. If you'd come to me and
said, ‘Hey, Lauren, we think we might want to go out, are you cool with that?' this whole thing never would have happened.”