Fame (37 page)

On the way back to her hotel, they said little. Katy remembered her conversation with Rhonda, the idea that maybe Dayne Matthews was the man God had planned for her. The idea was

313

both sad and laughable now. Dayne might’ve played the role of a. genuine, well-mannered guy. He’d convinced her that he wasn’t only single but quite possibly interested in her.,

She shivered at the thought of what might have happened if she’d taken the part: her picture in the magazines time and again, people guessing about whether they were in a relationship and whether Kelly Parker was upset by the fact. All the wondering and waiting and not knowing if Dayne as finding his way back to one of his former loves when he wasn’t with her.

She stared out the side window at the heavy traffic on the Hollywood freeway.

God… You rescued me more than once today. I m so glad I heard You. ,,

“What are you thinking? Dayne gave her a quick look but kept his eyes on the road His tone was filled with compassion, on,e, that Katy didn’t doubt. ‘ I was praying. , ….

Dayne hesitated. That doesn’t surprise me. Katy felt sorry for him. Big-time actor with everything in the world going for him but with a grudge against God bigge.r than his mansion in Malibu. She bit her lip and looked at him. Prayer helps me. She kept her tone soft. “You prayed when you were younger, right?”

“Right. Dayne gave her a casual look of disdain. Whatever came of it? I grew up without my family and lost my parents in a plane crash.’ He tried to smile, but the corners of his mouth

barely lifted. “Wasn’t real encouraging, you know?’

Now that she was headed back home, she, could take a fresh look at Dayne. He was lost, more than she’d realized at first.

Even though I m not taking the part, I wish we could stay friends. I think… I think it would be good.

He chuckled, more relaxed. You mean maybe you could help me?”

“No! Not like that.” For the first time since the attack she felt her spirits lift. “I mean, maybe I’d be a safe person for you, some 314

314

one you could talk to without worrying that the press was going to capture every minute.”

“I know.” His expression softened. “I’m just giving you a hard time.” He pulled up in front of her hotel. For a long while he only looked at her, searching her eyes. Then he touched her cheek the way he had earlier. “You sure I can’t change your mind?” He paused. “It’s just one film.”

The possibility wasn’t even a little tempting. God had given her the answer she needed, and back in Bloomington there were a hundred CKT kids who wouldn’t ever have to say goodbye to her. The prospect made her feel safe and warm and right inside. Bloomington was where God wanted her, and she would go back with no regrets.

He was waiting for her answer. She took hold of his hand and shook her head. “I can’t, Dayne. I have no doubts.”

“Okay.” He leaned against the inside of his door and looked at her. “I’m sorry again.” He pressed his knuckles to his lips, as if there was a lot more he wanted to say. Finally he dropped his

hand. “Can I tell you something honestly?”

“Yes.”

“Even though I don’t like it—” his eyes shone a little more than before—”I have a feeling you’re making the right decision.” He shrugged. “Like I said earlier, you don’t belong here.”

They said their goodbyes, and Katy made her way to her hotel room. When she shut the door behind her, she fell against it and breathed out. The whole thing—getting the call from Mitch Henry, auditioning with Dayne, thinking she could waltz into Hollywood and take a leading role without disrupting her real life—all of it felt like something from a dream.

But it was over, and that’s what mattered.

She thought about Dayne’s last statement. He must’ve cared about her somewhat; otherwise he wouldn’t have told her what was in his heart. That though he wanted her to take the part, though he wanted to convince her that starring in one movie

315

KAREN KINGSBURY

wouldn’t change anything, the truth was he agreed with her decision.

Bloomington was better for her; anyone could see that.

An unfamiliar feeling began working its way through Katy, from her hands and feet through her limbs and all the way to her heart and soul. Only then did she realize what it was. It was peace. And with that, she pulled her cell phone from her purse and dialed Rhonda Sanders’ phone number.

Her friend answered almost immediately. “Hello?”

“Rhonda … it’s me.” Katy felt a smile fill her face. “I have something to tell you …. “

316

317

THE PARTY TONIGHT was at the Baxter house.

They had gathered to give Ashley and Landon a proper sendoff on their much-delayed honeymoon, a barbecue compliments of Ashley’s father and a full house with everyone except Luke and Reagan in New York City and Erin and Sam in Texas.

Ashley was in the kitchen with Brooke and Kari, the three of them peeling fruit for the ambrosia salad.

“So… you must be so excited.” Brooke was working with the bananas. The sleeves of her pale blue blouse were rolled up. “You and Landon deserve this after all you’ve been through.”

The anticipation had been building for the past week, and Ashley nodded. “I can’t wait. A cruise for a whole week, Landon and I on the Caribbean seas?” She laughed and raised her brow. “I’m way beyond excited.”

Kari dumped a pile of apple peelings into the trash and looked at Brooke. “Let’s get the kids together a couple times while they’re gone.” She grabbed another few apples and moved back to her spot at the counter. “Cole’s thrilled to hang out with Jessie, but I know he’d love to see Hayley and Maddie too.”

318

318

“Okay. We can go to the park.”

A strange feeling poked at Ashley’s heart. “I’m going to miss my little guy.”

“You haven’t been away from him this long since he was born, right?” Kari took the peeling off another apple.

“Right.” Ashley swallowed. “But it’ll be good for all of us.”

“It will.” Brooke smiled at her. “You can’t stay by their sides every minute.”

The comment hung in the air among them for a few moments. Brooke had come so far since little Hayley’s near drowning. She and Peter had been through counseling, and they understood that parents can only do so much to protect their children and that ultimately they belong to God first.

Kari put her arm around Brooke. “How’s Hayley?”

“She’s doing so well.” Brooke’s eyes glistened. She ran a handful of green grapes under the kitchen faucet. When she turned the water off she looked at Kari and then at Ashley, “She said a sentence the other day. She said, ‘Mommy, see Maddie!’” Brooke gave an amazed shake of her head. “Every word she says, every step she makes, I’m reminded of the truth—that God still works miracles among us today,”

Ashley felt her eyes get watery. “And all I have to do is look at the wedding picture of Landon and me.”

“There were days when I really doubted you’d ever get together.” Kari grabbed another apple and started peeling it. “I’m so glad Mom got to see you marry him, It was something she’d prayed about for so long.”

“I know.” Ashley felt her lip quiver. She hesitated, letting the moment pass.

There were too many happy moments ahead for her to be sad now. “God was good to let us have that.”

Landon came into the kitchen. “Sounds like a serious conversation.” He came up behind Ashley, slipped his arm around her waist, and kissed the back of her neck. “Our plane leaves in twelve hours.”

319

“Someone’s eager.” Kari giggled and raised her eyebrow at Ashley and Landon.

“Are you kidding?” Landon took a step back and smiled at the three of them.

“I’ve been eager for a year.”

The group laughed, and Ashley noticed Peter outside talking to her father near the barbecue. She loved this, having everyone together. They were setting the table when Cole came running in from outside. His face was tan from the recent warm days, his hair blonder than ever. “Papa says the chicken’ll be done in three minutes.”

“Okay.” Kari tousled his hair and sniled at him. “Tell Papa we’ll be ready.”

The dinner came together in a way that would’ve made their mother proud. It had been a year since she died, but still they felt her loss as strongly as if she’d been gone only a few days. Times like this were especially hard. Ashley still caught herself looking over her shoulder, expecting to see her mother in the kitchen whipping up one of her famous salads or a pitcher of lemonade.

But in her absence, they were better off being together, celebrating life the way she would’ve celebrated it with them had she been there.

Dinner was upbeat and lively.

Cole told everyone he was learning to walk on his hands. “When I grow up—” he had a smear of barbecue sauce on his chin—”I wanna be in the circus and walk on my hands all day long.”

Ashley gave a thoughtful nod, hiding the smirk on her face. “We’ll definitely buy tickets for that.”

“Hey, Cole.” Peter held his fork in one hand and looked down the table. “I thought you were going to be a fireman like YOur daddy.”

“I am.” Cole chewed a bite of chicken and then grinned at Peter. “I’ll fight all the fires at the circus, and when there’s no fires I’ll walk on my hands.”

320

320

Ashley’s heart was full. She loved Cole so much. If God was willing, she hoped she and Landon would have a child. The sooner the better, if she had her way.

Cole would make a wonderful big brother.

The conversation shifted to Kari and Ryan’s baby. Ryan Junior was trying to pull himself up already.

“He’ll be throwing touchdown passes any day now.” Ryan chuckled. “At least that’s the way it feels when I look at him.”

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Their dad had been fairly quiet throughout the meal, but now he smiled at Ryan and the others. “There’s nothing like watching your children grow up, watching them become the people God created them to be. Your mother and I.. 2’ He paused, and for a moment his voice was too thick to continue. “Your mother and I loved every minute of raising you kids.”

Again the warmth of what they shared together worked its way through Ashley. She would never for a minute take for granted the love in the Baxter family. And never be anything but grateful for her place in it. Then she remembered the scrapbook her father had mentioned, the one with copies of their mother’s letters.

“Hey, Dad—” Ashley rested her forearms on the table. “so what about those letters of Mom’s? Are you really going to get some of them copied so we can have a set?”

Their dad’s expression changed. He sat up a little straighter and blinked twice.

“The letters?”

Ashley had the sudden feeling she’d said something she shouldn’t have. But why would she feel that way? What was it about the letters that flustered her father so? It was the same feeling she’d had when her father had caught her in his closet that afternoon. As if she were doing something wrong, when all she wanted was to read some of the letters her mother had written through the years, letters that would give them an additional piece to remember her by.

Brooke looked from Ashley to their father. “Letters?”

321

KAREN KINGSBURY

“Yes.” Ashley gave her sister a look. “Mom has a whole box of letters in her closet.” She turned to her dad again. “You said you’d make a scrapbook of some of the better ones so we could see them, right?”

“Right.” Their dad coughed and seemed unable to make eye contact with any of the girls. “I’ll do it soon, Ashley. I … I haven’t had time.”

“No rush.” Ashley hated pushing him. He looked so uncomfortable. If this was how he reacted every time she brought up the letters, then maybe she should wait a year and ask then. She stood, went to her father, and put her arm around him.

“Hey, Dad, sorry.”

The others were quiet, watching the scene.

“No, sweetheart.” He looked up and covered her hand with his. “It’s just.., well, going through those letters will be tough. It might take a while.”

She kissed his cheek and gave him a side hug. “Take your time, Dad. But when you do, just remember we’d like a scrapbook, okay?”

Brooke nodded. “That would be wonderful.” She looked at Kari. “I didn’t know she had a box like that in her closet.” “Me, either,” Kari replied.

Ashley sat back down. Her father had gotten enough scrutiny. It was time to change the subject. She raised her eyebrows at Landon and smiled. “You’re not finished packing, are you?”

“Not yet.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “But that’s okay.” He winked at the others. “I like getting ready in a rush.”

Ryan raised his glass. “Spoken like a true firefighter.” Everyone laughed, and the somber feeling from a minute ago lifted. Sometime after eight o’clock, the party broke up, and one at a time Ashley’s family took turns saying their goodbyes to Landon and her. Cole had his things with him, and he was going home with Kari and Ryan and their kids tonight.

Ashley and Landon wanted a private goodbye with Cole, so 322

322

the others waited in the entryway. All along Cole had been thrilled about the idea of spending a week with his aunt and uncle and cousins. But when the moment finally came to say goodbye, his eyes welled up. He hugged Landon first, tight around the neck, long enough that Ashley was pretty sure he was crying.

“Hey, buddy, come on,” Landon whispered against his face. “It’ll be okay. You’ll have so much fun with Aunt Kari and Uncle Ryan you won’t even miss us.”

Cole only nodded against Landon’s shoulder. “A week.., is a long time.”

Landon looked at Ashley, his own eyes watery. He hugged Cole close again. “It’ll be a long time for us too. But we’ll call, all right?”

Cole nodded twice and pulled back. “Okay.” Then he turned to Ashley, and a fresh batch of tears brimmed. “Mommy… are you sure you wanna go?”

“Coley.” She held out her arms and he ran to her. The lump in her throat was too thick for her to say anything at first. Instead she held his little body against hers, memorizing the feel of him, six years old and not nearly her little baby anymore. How long would he still need her this way? How many short years before he would be blazing a trail into middle school and high school and off to college?