Falling for the Other Brother (8 page)

Amused, she spun around to watch him wincing while shaking his arm rapidly.

“Not funny! Pins and needles. Youch.” He hissed in a breath then continued, “All because your big head cut off the blood flow to my arm.”

She snickered and led the way inside. “My big head? It’s not that big! And you could have woken me up.”

He was down to rubbing his arm gently, his antics over. “Nah. You seemed so peaceful. I think you were even dreaming.”

Erica cocked her head and she studied him closely. Was that a slightly knowing look? Or was she imagining things?

“I was,” she admitted. “I’ve been kind of short of sleep lately.”

Instantly his expression changed to concern. “Are you okay?”

Erica didn’t answer right away, not sure how to skirt the real issue behind her lack of sleep—her quandary over Trevor and motherhood and now her growing attraction to Colin himself.

She must have left it too long, or maybe something in her expression betrayed her, because he crossed to her in two strides and took her by the upper arms then leaned in. It was so reminiscent of her dream that her breath caught.

Instead of whispering in her ear, though, he pulled her into a brief hug then set her away from him. “I just want you to know that I’m a good listener and I’m here for you. Even if what’s troubling you is…close to home.” He squeezed her arms again then took the mugs from her hands and went into the kitchen.

She suspected that he was alluding to Trevor, but she wondered if Colin could tell that part of what was keeping her up at night was him.

Close to home indeed
.

Echoing the word
home
conjured up a strong image in her head of an evening spent much like this one…only the romantic scene on the balcony came after they’d tucked in a little one together and quietly left the room…

Oh for fuck’s sake, Erica. You’re hormonal enough
.

It was especially cruel of her brain to have conjured that image now since she’d started her cycle the night before. As always, the reality of that time of the month seemed to mock her.
Another egg wasted
.
Tick tock
.

Feeling blue, she tried desperately to check her expression before Colin came back in. She only partially succeeded and could tell that he remained worried about her.

“I’ll be fine, just need a good night’s sleep.”

Colin looked at her steadily. “I’m not sure whether to excuse myself so you can get started, or offer to stay since you obviously felt restful with me nearby.”

Her mouth opened then closed as she considered that. It wasn’t anything she would have thought of herself, but now her mind seized upon the idea of having him close.

“I’ll stay if you want me to. Actually, I don’t even have to stay all night, just until you conk off.”

“No,” she protested. “You’d better not run off in the middle of the night. You need your sleep too.” She thought about what she’d just said. Evidently she’d just told him to stay. Suddenly becoming aware of how weary she was, she shrugged at an attempt at nonchalance. “Up to you, though.”

 Colin grinned slowly, his face lighting up as he nodded. “Fair enough. If that’s up to me, then it’s up to you where I sleep.”

The smile that had formed in automatic response to his dropped. She hadn’t really considered him sleeping
with
her, just staying in Trevor’s room. Strangely enough, Trevor hadn’t slept in her bed the few nights he’d been there before his trip. She hadn’t thought much of it at the time, figuring he was banking sleep before his travels. But it puzzled her now.

Shaking that thought away for another time, Erica focused on the brother in front of her and boldly admitted, “I’d love if you slept with me. But,” she warned, “no funny business.”

“I wouldn’t
dream
of it,” he answered innocently.

Erica narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Colin and he smiled, chuckling inwardly. She must have been having a helluva dream while she’d been cozied up next to him outside. A couple of breathy sighs and a moan had slipped from her.

It had been arousing as hell to imagine that she was having a hot dream while he held her. He’d been enjoying the feel of her against him, even with his arm falling asleep, but once he’d figured out where her sleeping mind had gone, he’d held utterly still, trying not to disturb her.

Then, right before she’d awakened, she’d murmured his name—
Colin
…

His breath had caught and his insides had seized. He’d stiffened in surprise at what seemed to be a vocalization to a dream lover—to him—and she’d probably subconsciously felt his movement, because she woke up almost immediately.

Now he had another opportunity to hold her as she slept and he wasn’t about to waste it. He knew that nothing would happen between them, that it would be as platonic as he could keep it. She seemed to be troubled greatly by something, and he just hoped it wasn’t what had happened between them.

They went to start getting ready for bed, Erica in her bedroom and Colin in Trevor’s room. The bed was mussed and it looked lived in, which surprised Colin. He knew Trevor had moved his belongings into the guest room, but he’d thought that was just to avoid Erica having to rearrange things so quickly.

But it looked to him like Trevor was more of a roommate to her than a live-in lover and boyfriend. Were they having problems? Was that what was on her mind? If that were the case, it wouldn’t surprise him if she didn’t confide in him. After all, Trevor and Colin had a close relationship, so she might want to keep anything to do with him to herself.

He did a quick rinse off in the shower then pulled on the silk sleep pants he’d bought Trevor. He had several pairs just like them, but he might keep these after today in retaliation for the sweats incident. That had him chuckling as he approached Erica’s door. He stopped on the threshold.

“Are you ready for me?” he called. Well, that had come out a bit suggestive, damn it.

“Come on in,” she invited from someplace across the room out of sight.

He walked in and admired her décor. The room was earth tones from light to dark, with small accents of black and sunshiny yellow. Very striking. “I love your colours in here.”

“Thanks.” Erica walked out of a door that must have been to a walk-in closet, since he could see the bathroom. She had her hair up in a messy bun and was wearing an oversized Teva T-shirt and blue plaid pyjama pants—obviously not dressed to seduce. That made it a bit easier.

He took his cue from her and climbed in on the other side of the bed once she’d got in. The king-sized bed ensured that they wouldn’t need to touch—unless they intended to.

Colin finally said something he’d been wanting to say for a week now. “Thank you for that night. You have no idea what it meant to me.”

He sensed Erica turn her head to look at him. Before she could speak, he continued, “Can I ask you a personal question?” Colin wanted to set his mind at ease.

“Sure.” She turned over on her side to face him across the pillows.

He did the same. “Are you really okay with what happened that first night? I’d hate to think that that’s what’s keeping you up at night.”

Her expression didn’t change. “I had a feeling you might ask that. That’s not what I’m…working through right now. It was…” She paused. “Well, I’m not sure how to describe it that won’t come across wrong.”

“Try,” he urged. He wasn’t about to be shy when for some reason her opinion mattered deeply to him.

She looked down at his chest then over at the wall, as though she couldn’t quite meet his gaze.

Colin reached out and settled his hand undemanding atop hers but remained quiet. She would either answer or she wouldn’t. He didn’t want to push things.

“Keeping in mind that I’m dating your brother…” she began, then stopped. “Obviously.” She huffed out a breath. “Queen Obvious. I swear, you wouldn’t know that I make my living putting cohesive sentences together and improvising.”

He laughed. She was so funny when she got irritated with herself.

“Okay—that night. It was great. Hot, sexy, fun…just amazing really. And I don’t have any regrets, per se.”

Wow, that was way more than he’d expected. But… “Per se? So you do feel something less than positive about it.”

She quirked her lips. “Not really, other than the fact that experiencing that with someone other than the person I’m committed to doesn’t sit easy on my conscience.”

His eyebrows rose. “He was the one who instigated things. Has he given you reason to think he’s upset about it?” Because Colin certainly hadn’t got that impression from his brother. They really hadn’t discussed it, and that fact really said everything right there. It was a non-issue.

“No, not at all. It’s
me
that bothers me, if you get what I mean. The fact that he even came up with the idea is telling, I guess. But for me… Well, I suppose it just proved to me that—” She closed her eyes. “I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you. Why am I telling you this? I should be talking to Trevor.”

Colin knew that the conversation was better tabled, either temporarily or permanently. “No worries,” he reassured her. “I just selfishly wanted to make sure you weren’t upset with me for my part in things.”

Erica smiled at him, her tension slowly dissipating. “You’re about the least selfish person I know. And I’m not upset with you. Quite the opposite.”

They lay there for a few minutes, quietly taking each other in. Erica’s eyelids began to look heavy and Colin was glad to see that she seemed to be heading towards a restful night.

“Is it selfish of me if I wish you could hold me again?” she murmured.

“Quite the opposite,” he returned and without hesitation he raised his arm invitingly. She moved towards him then flipped over to face away from him as he brought her back against him, her ass wriggling for just a moment against his soft cock before she found a comfortable position.

It wanted to stir, but he fought the sensation, not wanting to break the peace of the moment. He realised with amusement that it was the first time in over a year that he wished his cock
wouldn’t
get hard.

As his mind raced and his senses were filled with Erica, he was glad she would finally have a good night’s sleep.

But it didn’t look good for it being a restful one for him.

Chapter Nine

“So exactly how is it that you went to go break up with him, and ended up having him move in?”

It was the first time she’d managed to get together with Rhonnie since the night she’d sat here in her restaurant and planned to break things off. Erica gave an unladylike snort and pressed her lips together, glaring at her friend as she put into voice the very question Erica’d been asking herself for weeks now.

How?
she wanted to respond.
Because I was so caught off guard by the afterglow of amazing sex while fucking his twin brother that when he asked if he could move in with me so Colin could use his condo, I said, “Sure. That’d be great.”

Apparently coming that hard affected her brain.

“He wanted to let his brother stay in the condo while he looked for a place to live now that he’s back stateside,” she said instead, dancing around the real question. “And we were sleeping together at one place or another almost every night anyway…”

Rhonnie glared right back. “Don’t think that I don’t realise that you just totally avoided the question. Not becoming. You know that it’s me you’re talking to, right? Someone who knows you inside and out?” She rolled her eyes and gave a put-upon sigh. “Okay, so if you’re not going to talk about that, how about the artificial insemination. Have you chosen a donor yet?”

Erica winced. She hadn’t really thought about it since ‘the night’. “No, not yet.”

“But you’ve picked a sperm bank?”

“Uh…no.”

“Have you even talked to your fertility specialist? Let me guess. No. Erica…” Rhon took her hand. “Are you putting this off because of Trevor and the whole living together thing you got talked into? Or because you’re not ready? Because last I heard, you
were
ready.”

Erica knew that she
had
been, but with the advent of Colin into her life and the crazy dueling feelings she was having between the two men, finding the conviction to move forward with her plans had taken a back seat. She kept telling herself that it was good to feel one hundred per cent certain before she went any further with her plans to become a single mother. Realistically, though, was anyone ever completely sure about a major life change?

“I am. I just…” Erica sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m not ready. I thought I was until…”

“Until what?”

Until I figured out how fickle I can be after meeting Colin
. Which begged the question, if she were that indecisive about the men in her life, what made her think that her mind was clear on what she should do to have a child?

When it came right down to it, what was holding her back was probably the utterly unrealistic hope that somehow her dreams would come to fruition—no pun intended—without having to go the clinical route.
Ain’t gonna happen.
The man in her life was sometimes little more than a kid himself and very against ever having children.

“I have to pee.” Rhonnie levered her increasing girth up from the table. “So you get a reprieve for now. Just think about it,” she tossed back over her shoulder as she swayed towards the bathroom.

Erica had no problems doing just that. Thinking about it was
all
she’d been doing since that night. She had spent a great deal of time with both brothers in the past few weeks and had learnt an uncomfortable truth about herself. While she still loved Trevor, it was Colin to whom she was drawn, with a pull that went well beyond what she could remember from the beginning of her relationship with Trevor. And his somewhat toned down, mature personality meshed more fully with hers and her interests. Where Trevor was always on the go and extremely high energy, Colin enjoyed the same quiet pursuits she craved during her downtime. Her job was demanding enough—on her time off, she wanted to relax, both physically and mentally.