Falling for the Other Brother (10 page)

He pressed his lips together. His brother’s reaction, while not unexpected, wasn’t exactly making it any easier to think about leaving. “There’s nothing holding me here. Might as well make some coin.”

“What about
me
?” Trevor practically shouted, shoving him again, and Colin balled up his fists to keep from shoving back. “And what about Erica?”

Colin inhaled sharply, his heart pounding. “What
about
Erica? What does she have to do with anything?”

Trevor shook his head. “You’ve always been a horrible liar, Col.” He started pacing. “Everything. She has everything to do with this. Why you think you should go,
and
why you should stay.” He whirled towards Colin and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t think I’ve missed what’s been growing between you. I might not be the smart one, but I’m not stupid.” Trevor pinned Colin with his eyes, daring him to try lying.

All of the guilt he’d been holding in about his feelings for Erica swamped him at once. It came out as anger. “You have a lot of nerve, implying anything. Erica would never cheat on you, and I would never do that to you either.”

Trevor snorted. “I know that. Jesus. You two are saints. I swear it took everything I had in me not to break up with her weeks ago and give you guys the green light.”

“What?” Colin froze and stared at Trevor, who continued talking with barely a pause.

“But it was too soon—you had to cement the connection. Oh, the vibes were there”—he waved his hand in the air—“but you needed to get to know each other with the pressure off first.”

Colin’s mind whirled in confusion. “What? What the hell are you talking about?” His eyes narrowed on his brother as an awful suspicion occurred to him. “Did you set up that first night somehow? Getting us in bed together?”

“Man, I wish, but no. That was pure karma. But it came to me first while I was watching you together that night, then over the weeks since, watching the connection grow between you two. You’re a much better match for her than me.” Trevor shrugged, smiling ruefully. “Erica’s great, and if I can’t make her happy, I want her to have the best—which is you.”

Colin sagged a bit, his mind spinning. All in all, he was relieved that his secret was now out in the open and he could talk about things with his brother, who was also his best friend. He looked closely at Trevor and couldn’t sense a hint of sadness at losing Erica, whereas the same situation was flat out killing him. Frustration won out over his confusion.

“Tell that to her. She flat out rejected any thought of being with me. So it’s a moot point either way.”

“Tell me exactly what she said,” Trevor countered.

Colin had no desire to relive that moment and he stayed silent.

“Seriously, do you want Erica or not? What did she say?”

He thought back over the confrontation on the street. “Well, I asked her to tell me whether she truly loved you or not.” He glared at Trevor. “At the time, I had no idea you two were already over in your mind. That might’ve been good to know.”

Trevor just cocked an eyebrow and waited.

“I finally got her to admit that she didn’t love you.” What a bizarre conversation. “And I as much as told her that I loved her and wanted her to give us a chance.” He thought a moment, then added, “And I said that I’d wait for her to talk to you, or I would, or we could go together.” He sighed. Then she’d broken his heart.

“And what did she say to that?”

He shrugged miserably. “Something like, it wasn’t about you”—he pointed to Trev—“but it was me. That I can’t give her what she’s looking for and that it wouldn’t work between us.”

Trevor nodded somberly. “I can see how that would sound pretty bad. I’m sorry.” He moved closer and put his hands on Colin’s shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. “With me out of the picture, there’s only one thing keeping you two apart in her mind. And I know how to fix it. Call your client. Tell them you’re not going to China. Don’t run away from this. Don’t leave us.”

Colin swallowed against the internal battle his brother’s confidence engendered, competing with the sadness he’d been holding onto. It was as though a nest of demented butterflies were warring in his stomach. “Trev. I have to go. I can’t be here, knowing she doesn’t want to be with me.”

His brother grasped the back of his neck and squeezed reassuringly. “Don’t go. I promise I can make this happen. Trust me.” Those familiar eyes willed him to believe, and despite his best efforts, Trevor’s assurance kindled a flicker of hope in Colin. “Stay. And we’ll get Erica for you. Guarantee it.”

Colin wavered then he finally gave up all sense of self-preservation and reluctantly smiled. Trevor grinned back then pulled him into a back-pounding hug.

“Okay, I’m going to get us a couple of beers and you’re going to tell me exactly why you’re so convinced you can ‘fix it’.
Capisce
?”

Colin headed into the kitchen without waiting for a response, needing a moment away from his brother’s intense regard. He grabbed two bottles from the fridge then rummaged through drawers trying to find an opener. That, of course, made him think of Erica and her Rhonnie-approved kitchen. He sighed and gave up.

“Where the hell is a bottle opener?”

“Up on the corkboard.”

“Of course,” Colin muttered walking across the room to the cluttered board and finally spotted a lizard on a chain that evidently doubled as a bottle opener. He figured it out and opened the bottles, then slipped the chain around his neck in case they needed it later.

He found Trevor outside on the deck and handed him his beer.

“Nice accessory.” Trev gestured with the bottle to the chain, then clinked tops with Colin as he sat.

Colin settled back and waited for Trevor to start explaining. Trevor knew what he wanted to hear and damned if he was going to beg for information. It was enough that he was putting his heart in his brother’s hands.

“Remember the accident?” Trevor began.

Colin blinked. That hadn’t exactly been the direction he’d expected the conversation to go. “Duh. Every day when I take a shower.”

Trevor grimaced in apology, looking uncharacteristically serious. “I know. I mean, do you remember after, when I decided to pull my donations at the sperm bank?”

Oh. No wonder he looks like a kicked puppy
. “Trev, I love you, but you seriously need to let go of the guilt on that. It was not your fault.”

Trevor shrugged and Colin took that to mean that he was going to stubbornly continue to believe what he wanted to believe on that topic. “Yeah, well. My point is”—he leant forward—“you know the reason why I did that. And I think we’re there.”

Colin frowned for a moment then he suddenly got it. “Whoa. Wait a minute.” He held his hands up in shock. “We’re not even together, much less at the point where we’d talk about a family. It’s not exactly like we’re going to jump into familyhood anytime soon.”

Trevor looked thoughtful. “Okay, let’s table that for a minute. Did I ever tell you how I met Erica?”

Colin searched his memory. “I think you said you ran into her at a café and hit it off. Rhonnie’s place probably?” he checked.

“Yep. But what got us talking was, I overheard Erica and Rhonnie talking about sperm donors.” He laughed at the memory. “You should have heard what Erica had to say about the sort of guy who’d donate.”

Colin chuckled. “And you jumped in to set the record straight.”

“Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?” Trevor spread his hands wide.

Colin had no answer for that one.

“Anyway, if I were you, the next question I’d have would be, why were they discussing sperm banks…” Trevor paused encouragingly.

“For Rhonnie?” Colin stated the obvious.

“Nope, she was already pregnant. For Erica.”

Colin’s jaw dropped. “Erica? Why…?” He tried to think. “I mean…she’s never mentioned anything about it to me.”

“Had a lot of personal conversations, have you?”

He cleared his throat. “One or two.”

“Sure. Anyway, I know she really wants to have a baby, and she’s not getting any younger. So she’d just about decided to go that route…”

Colin waited for Trevor to continue. When he didn’t, he asked, “What happened?”

Trevor shrugged. “I’m not sure exactly. We started dating. She sounded me out once or twice about my thoughts on fatherhood but you know that’s just not me. Which is why we’re just not right for each other in the long run. But you…” He leaned in. “You’ve always known you wanted a family. Which is why what happened to you was…” He stopped and bowed his head. “A fucking crime. And that’s why I took my donations off the market, so to speak, out of respect for your future partner.”

They so rarely spoke seriously, it was surreal. Colin was honestly amazed to see this side of Trevor.

“Col, I’ve never seen you the way you are with Erica, and that’s even with the brakes on because of our relationship. You’re so happy you fucking glow. I’m pretty sure she’s the one—your forever one.”

“You can’t just fast forward through things to a positive pregnancy test.”

Trevor cocked an eyebrow but still wore a serious expression. “Do you know how old Erica is?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.”

“She’s going to be forty-five soon.”

Colin silently processed that. It was older than he’d thought—and well older than she looked and acted—but that didn’t really matter to him.

However, if she was determined to have a baby, she must be constantly watching the clock, frantically trying to figure out a way to make it happen before it was too late, if it already wasn’t.

Then she’d started dating a man with no desire for children. No wonder she didn’t think things would work in the long run with Trevor. And as for him…

‘…
you just can’t give me what I’m looking for, and I know what I need to be happy
.’

“Let me ask you this,” Trevor cut into the thoughts whirling in his head. “Do you love her?”

Colin nodded, not sure he could trust his voice.

“The forever kind.” It was a statement, not a question but Colin nodded again. “If it’s the real deal, you need to go for it. Because when you put yourself out there, right or wrong, she took the baby thing into consideration when she turned you away. But if that wasn’t an issue…”

“If you were to father the baby…” Colin felt a sense of rising hope.

“Then it’d be a win win…win. You’d get the girl, she’d get her dream and I’d get…to sleep with her at least a few more times.”

Colin’s jaw dropped at his brother’s lascivious look. He smacked his shoulder. “Are you kidding me?
That’s
your motivation?” He wasn’t sure how he felt about Trevor and Erica being together if he and Erica were to become serious, but if it was for a purpose…

It was a little hypocritical to be prissy about it after how intimate Trevor had already been with her.

“Okay, okay…fine. I would get to give you two the most precious gift of all and make you happy and complete, which would mean so much to me because I love you both.”

There was silence between them for a moment.

“Wow. You said that with a straight face.” Colin shook his head. Yes, definitely the most surreal conversation they’d ever had.

“Well, yeah, because I meant every word. Sheesh, you’d think I was shallow or something. I was baring my heart there.” Trevor managed to look wounded then broke into laughter. “Seriously!”

“I know, Trev. I know.” And he did. Trevor loved him like no one else on earth, beside their mom. If there was anything one brother could do for the other, they would.

Even something like getting their girlfriend or wife pregnant.

Or giving up a wonderful woman for the other one.

Best. Brother. Ever.

Chapter Eleven

Erica closed down her laptop and wearily pushed back from her kitchen counter. Trevor had just had dinner delivered and was unpacking the bags of Chinese when his phone rang. He tapped on his Bluetooth and answered.

“Hello? Oh, hey, Col.”

She looked up then hastily back down. She hadn’t seen Colin since the day before when they’d parted ways in front of her building.

When you threw his love back in his face
…

Erica rubbed her suddenly stinging eyes. She hadn’t realised how attached she was to Colin until they’d gone silent. The past twenty-hour hours or so had been the longest and bluest of her life.

“Well, shit. That’s good, I guess. I’m going to be sorry to see you go, jerk, but at least I’ll get my own condo back. So, are you going to be living in the same place when you go back to China?”

What?
Her stomach thudded as it dropped.
Colin was going back to Asia?
Erica had thought he was done working overseas, that he had vowed never to go so far away from his family again. It had been hard being across the city from him for one day, much less half a world away for a year.

“Good thing we didn’t end up putting a bid in on a place, but maybe next year… I know, I know… No, I’ll be back in town on Saturday… Sure, I can give you a ride.”

Saturday? Oh God. So soon.

What’s the matter? You weren’t going to get involved with him, remember?

Erica tried lecturing her soul about the reason for not going there, which just reminded her brain about the excruciating conversation when Colin had bared his heart to her.

And she’d sliced it up and delivered it back with a side of wasabi.

With her own heart as a garnish.

She’d had to grit her way through her denial of him, all the while wanting to throw herself into his arms, her heart soaring and aching at the same time to hear his pleading for a chance at her love. Her palms still bore the brunt of the encounter where her nails had broken the skin.

Trevor had evidently hung up and was looking at her with a curious expression on his face. She made an effort at controlling her expression, but knew she didn’t manage to succeed.

“I think it’s well past time that we had a talk, sweets.” Trevor seemed unusually sombre. Maybe he was just sad about Colin leaving again? No—she knew this was going to be the talk where they made a big decision. “Come on,” he beckoned her.