Falling For Crazy (Moroad Motorcycle Club) (24 page)

Amy rubbed her hands along her thighs and nodded at the nurse. The set mouth, drawn eyebrows, and paleness on her face failed to hide the shock and devastation she'd gone through all week as she educated herself on Sarah's condition. There was no way to prepare her for what she'd find at the institute, and he witnessed one of many devastating blows she'd feel.

"Fuck," he whispered.

He'd ran, instead of facing her. She'd take his actions for a coward. All he wanted to do was relieve her of her responsibilities toward him. If he'd returned to her, she'd be torn in two. His intent wasn't to hurt her. He wanted her in one piece.

Amy ducked her chin as the nurse left the area. The metal of the fence cut into Jacko's fingers. He shook the barrier in his frustration. He wanted to go to her, protect her, tell her everything would be okay. He planned to continue paying for Sarah's care until the day she died of old age, and he'd take care of Amy, too.

He'd laid everything out in the package he left her. She had to be okay.

He let go of the fence and stepped around the hedge when Amy stood from the table. He moved back behind cover and watched.

Amy turned from the table and let her head fall back, gazing at the sky. He held his blink longer than necessary, afraid to breath. He understood her need to seek answers out of thin air. He'd had five years to accept Sarah's condition. Amy had only known her sister was alive and living in the institution for one week.

"What are you doing?" a feminine voice spoke behind him.

He braced and turned, recognizing the swing-shift nurse who often would open the door for him after visiting hours. "Hey, Carla."

Carla approached him and frowned. "I learned on Monday that you no longer are allowed on the grounds."

He held out his arms. "I haven't gone inside. I just needed to see..."

Carla peered around him. "I tried talking with Sarah's sister when she came to me about writing a formal letter keeping you from visiting. You've taken wonderful care of Sarah and made sure the best doctors worked with her. I tried to explain what a positive influence you have been in her care the last year, but she was uninterested in hearing anything I had to say concerning you."

"I appreciate the support, but Amy's right. Yep, she's right. Always right. She's the best person to handle everything from here on out," he said.

He glanced over the hedge and found Amy back at the table, holding her sister's hand. He'd made the right decision. The sooner Amy accepted the changes in her life now that Los Li was no longer a concern, she could go on to find happiness.

Carla laid her hand on his arm. "Jacko?"

He turned, gazing down at the pudgy fingers and chipped nail polish. The physical touch reminded him he'd slipped out of his role in life. He grinned and swayed from side to side.

"Work, work, work. You better not be late," he sang.

Carla's face softened. "Come back in the morning after nine. I'll let you in when visiting hours start. Sarah's sister has been coming in close to noon. You can visit her if you'd like, and we'll keep it our little secret."

He dipped his chin. One last time to see Sarah, explain his position, and he'd be free to go back to the criminal lifestyle that kept him focused, knowing he'd finished his business outside of prison.

"Yeah, that's good." Jacko stepped away from the hedge, putting distance between him and the institute. "I'll be here."

He walked across the parking lot, down the narrow lane, and behind the utility van parked at the end of the street where he'd hid his motorcycle. He slipped his gloves on and rode away, feeling empty. He had to stay away from Amy, keep his distance from Sarah, and walk away from the problems he created. But first, he had one more thing he needed to finish.

B
ear stood outside Amy's motel door, arms crossed, feet spread, and blocked her from leaving her room. She shook her head, tired of dealing with every single Moroad MC member. His large size left her no room to squeeze past him, and she'd already missed an hour out of her time she visited with Sarah.

"Please, move." She pushed on his broad shoulder. "You're starting to piss me off. I need to leave."

"Not until you tell me what this is all about." He unfolded his arms and held up a stack of cash. "It was on the table in the kitchen. Johnson has no idea where it came from, and I sure in the fuck didn't leave it laying around. That leaves you."

"Fine." She tossed her purse on the nearby wooden chair. "Jacko gave me the money. Since he's gone, and I'm not associated with the club anymore, the cash belongs to Moroad. I figured you or Johnson would make sure it got back to Jacko."

Bear tossed the money across the room to the bed. "Keep it."

"I don't want it."

"Jacko gave it to
you
," said Bear.

She pushed him one more time. "Whatever. Now let me out of the room, so I can do what I was going to do."

Bear stepped back, swept his arm in front of him, and gave her permission to leave. She glared, snatched up her purse, and marched outside. Expecting to find Stache, who'd been taking her to the institute, she gazed around an empty parking lot.

"Great," she muttered, whipping around to yell at Bear. "You made me miss my ride."

"I am your ride, lady." Bear walked past her toward his motorcycle.

She closed her eyes, counted to three, then counted to ten when her body remained vibrating in frustration, and finally followed Bear to his bike. The moment she jerked out of bed that morning because she thought Jacko had returned and then realized it'd all been a dream, she knew the day would suck.

During the fifteen-minute ride to the institute, she used the time to calm down and forget about her personal life falling apart and the Moroad members silently supporting Jacko. She needed to focus on Sarah and spend her energy on her sister. After a rough week of listening to doctors, talking with the nurses, and trying to break through Sarah's barriers she'd erected, the only thing she'd come to realize was she'd never give up hope of her sister recovering.

All Sarah needed was her family, and Amy was it for her.

Bear pulled up to the front gate of the institute. She hopped off his motorcycle and stared at the intimidating old brick structure. Her first impression of the place Jacko hid Sarah away in filled her with anger as she'd taken in the rundown, ivy covered front porch, overgrown hedge and ominous, depressive appearance.

Her first-day visit changed her mind. The administration ran a loving home for those unable to take care of themselves and after reading the paperwork of how much it cost Jacko to house Sarah here, she admitted he'd gotten Sarah the best help. She also understood why Jacko was practically broke.

"I'll be done in a couple of hours." She turned back to Bear. "I need to spend time trying to find a job. Do you know if the Mining Supply store is hiring?"

She'd worked there before leaving Federal in a rush five years ago. Maybe Trent, the manager, still ran the company and would hire her back. She enjoyed the job, and the physical labor would keep her mind off her problems. Besides, she needed to find employment in Federal to stay close to Sarah.

Bear's beefy hand gripped his handlebar. "No clue, honey."

"Oh, well, I guess I'll find out soon enough." She walked up the steps and pushed through the unlocked gate.

Susan at the front desk slid the glass partition to the side. "Good morning, Miss O'Harris."

"Good morning." She leaned against the counter and scribbled her name on the visitor registry. "I have some errands to run later, but didn't want to miss seeing my sister for a little while."

"Can I get you a coffee?" Susan held up her hand for her to wait and stepped through the door to the lobby. "Maybe I can show you the kitchen. Have you met the day cook? We can even make it possible to stay for lunch and sample the menu the residents receive."

Amy tilted her head, trying to take in all the questions. Susan seemed jumpy and high energy today.

"Thanks, but I'm just going to go to Sarah's room and spend time with her." She walked away, her rubber-soled sneakers squeaking against the tiled floor.

A flustered nurse—was her name Carla?— hurried down the hallway, aiming for Amy. Her pulse roared in her ears, and she stopped. Had her visits upset her sister?

"We're going to be mopping the rooms on the first floor. Can I escort you to the dining room? I'd be glad to bring your sister to you in a few minutes." The nurse worked her lips together. "It's a big job with eight rooms on each floor and might be awhile."

Susan's strange behavior topped with Carla's need to get her away from Sarah's room made her more determined to find her sister. "That's okay. I'll visit with her until they're ready to clean her room."

She stepped around the nurse. Her need to check on her sister more urgent than worrying about upsetting the staff. For all appearances, everything looked professional on the outside, but she'd only been coming around for a week and Sarah couldn't tell her how she was treated when alone.

At the open door to Sarah's room, Amy peeked inside and stopped herself from going any further. She reached for the door frame and braced herself.

Sarah sat on the edge of the bed, staring straight ahead, hands folded in her lap, a vacant look on her precious face. Unmarked, flawless, serene, her beautiful sister was unaware of the man crouched in front of her.

The back of the faded jean vest with the Moroad Motorcycle Club patch taunted her. Her heart thundered in her chest. She thought Jacko went to prison with Jeremy for killing the men responsible for the condition of her sister.

Her knees buckled, and she locked them solid to keep on her feet. A gaping hole formed in her chest, pounding her senseless. She pressed her hand to the front of her neck, afraid she'd cry out and alert him.

She hurt, so damn much seeing him here.

"You look pretty this morning, Sarah." Jacko picked up Sarah's hand and held it between his two broad, rough hands. "I haven't been around much lately, and I wanted to stop by and tell you what's kept me away. Part of the reason you might already know."

Amy leaned against the doorframe, straining to hear the low, thickness of Jacko's voice. Warmth curled at the pit of her stomach despite her anger over Jacko's lies and secrets. He'd never once talked to her in that tone, coddled her, softened himself for her.

Jealousy wasn't the problem, yearning to have Jacko back in her life was. He'd ripped her heart out, leaving her scarred. Each day without him worse than the last.

She ached for him. Even with her responsibility toward her sister, she still thought and wanted Jacko. She was as crazy as him for even thinking he deserved to be happy after what he'd put her through.

"I kept my promise to you. The men who hurt you are dead." Jacko inhaled deeply. "They won't touch you again. You're safe here, and because you're safe, I told Amy the truth. Of course, you know that part. I just don't want you thinking Amy stayed away on purpose. She would've been here with you, but I never told her where you were or that you came back. It's my fault. I'm the one to blame. She's always, always loved you. Being without you was hard on her, and keeping your location and condition secret didn't make things easier. I had to protect you both, and the only way I knew how was to put you somewhere that others could take care of you, while hiding you away from the men who hurt you. I forced Amy to leave the area and kept the secret of you surviving from her. I couldn’t chance her coming here or being followed, but that worry is gone. It's over. You're both free and safe. Nobody will hurt you again."

Sarah sat unblinking.

Amy blinked frantically, clearing her vision.

Jacko let his head fall forward. The tears too much to contain spilled down Amy's cheeks. With Sarah, Jacko talked straight, stayed still, and was saner than anyone in the Institute.

"I need to tell you something else, Sarah," Jacko whispered. "I need to tell you something, and I don't know how...I don't know if it'll mean anything or if you'll understand."

Sarah remained unmoved and unresponsive, and yet Jacko talked as if the two of them were having a normal conversation. Witnessing the tenderness caused an unbearable ache inside her.

"I love Amy." Jacko brought Sarah's hand up to his mouth and placed them back on her lap. "It wasn't something I planned. Fuck, it wasn't even something I wanted. She's your sister."

Amy covered her mouth to halt the sob from escaping and giving away her location. She needed to stop him from saying anything more and couldn't. Her need to hear what he'd say next won out.

Jacko cleared his throat. "Since I lost you, my life has changed. You'd hate the man I've become. But, Amy accepted me with a criminal record, knowing my history with you, and my insanity. I'd push her away, and she'd come back harder and more determined. She took my shit and refused to let me get away with hurting her."

Amy closed her eyes, soaking in Jacko's words. He wrapped her tight with a confession she never dreamed she'd hear.

"I love her, and that's the reason I need to leave you." Jacko stood and swayed left to right. "You have your sister now and don't need me coming around. She'll take care of you, and you'll always have her in your life."

Amy stepped out of the doorway and leaned against the hallway wall. She wiped any trace of emotion from her face. Though her insides fluttered as if any moment she'd crumble into pieces. She had no idea where Jacko would go. He wouldn't leave Moroad Motorcycle Club or Idaho.

Boots
thunked
on the floor, growing closer. She inhaled swiftly and held her breath, her teeth clamped together.

Jacko walked out of the room past her, stopped, and turned around. He stared into her eyes, pain flashing behind the stoic mask he wore. She caught herself against the wall when her knees trembled and unlocked.

His intense gaze embraced her, and his voice came out strong and pliant, catching her off guard. "I needed to come and tell Sarah goodbye and tell her nobody will ever hurt her again. Everyone says she doesn't understand what I'm talking about, but I needed to tell her. I owed her that much."