Falling Darkness: The second book in the Falling Awake Series (4 page)

“They are beautiful,” I said.

“I’m happy you like them.” I saw his eyes wander down over to my wrist and I subconsciously wrapped my hand around the bracelet Ressler had given me.

“No more lying, okay?”

“No more lying,” I said. “Do you mind if I go and see my dad?”

“It’s your dad,” he said. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

He left the room and I was left on my own. I went over to the bedside cabinet and pulled open the top drawer. A small, compact pink comb sat there. I smiled. Just what I was looking for. I dragged the comb through my hair and then set it back in the drawer. I closed the drawer and I was struck with the sinister thought of whose comb that was. It could be Leah’s. Or it could be Tamara’s. He’d had Tamara in his bedroom? The comb looked tacky enough to be hers. I imagined she probably loved the color pink, like a typical air head. I brushed off the nasty thought and went instead, to see my dad.

I pushed open the door to the last bedroom at the end of the corridor. The room was just like all the others. Brick wall with crisp white sheets on the king size bed. My dad lay on top of the bed in a white t-shirt and dark blue pajama pants. I assumed they must be Caleb’s. He looked exactly the same and I sat in the seat that now permanently lived by the side of his bed. It was like a homemade hospital room in here and my dad looked out of place just lying there, silent. I watched the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest, and I climbed up on the bed next to him and lay my arm over his stomach. I buried my head in the crook of his arm and closed my eyes.

“Wake up soon, dad,” I whispered. “I miss you. You’re missing a whole lot right now. And you’ve definitely got some explaining to do.” I chuckled, but it was empty of any joy. “Fallen angel, huh? And here I thought you were just a mechanic.” I felt his heartbeat thrumming against my ear and I inhaled deeply. “I love you, dad and I’ll be right here when you’re ready to wake up.” I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. His skin was warm. I climbed off him. “See you soon,” I said, and left, closing the door silently behind me.

Caleb was in the kitchen. I sat down at the kitchen bar, and he slid a black ceramic bowl in front of me, filled with cereal. I eyed the multi colored Trix in front of me. It was filled right to the top. “I can’t eat all that,” I said, feeling full just looking at it. He reached out and opened up the cupboard behind him, pulling out the cereal box and handing it to me. I poured some of the cereal back into the box and then poured milk over what was left in my bowl. I chewed the sugary cereal. It tasted good.

“So do you remember anything else yet, about last night? Caleb asked me, sliding into a stool on the opposite side of the counter. He pushed up the already short sleeves on his white t-shirt, so they were rolled at his shoulders and his muscles were totally exposed. I nearly choked on my cereal. It was a good job I was chewing or I might have actually groaned out loud.

I mentally went back to last night, doing my absolute best not to think about the awful shadow. I wasn’t telling Caleb about that, he would only shove it down my throat, using it against me to prove his point. There was one thing that stood out. Beautiful copper skin, silky black hair and eyes the color of the Mediterranean Sea.

“Yeah I do actually. I was with someone. A boy.” I hadn’t meant it as a jealousy tactic but the muscle in his neck jumped nonetheless. Did that bother him? I kinda hoped so, even though it wasn’t even like that. I couldn’t even remember much of the guy.

“What boy? He said. I tried and tried for the memory to surface, but I couldn’t remember his name.

“I don’t know, he was from La Connor. We were walking by the woods and then he just disappeared.”

“He just left you there?”

“Yeah.”

“He drugged you, though.”

“How do you know it was him?” I asked. He had seemed like s nice enough guy, but then I assumed most guys who drugged women probably seemed nice enough.

“Did you accept a drink from him?”

“Yeah, but I poured it myself.” The picture was becoming more and more clear.

“But he gave you the liquor?”

“Yeah.” How could I have been so stupid? No the wonder Caleb was so pissed at me. I was careless and idiotic. “But why would he drug me?”

“I don’t know. I can think of a few reasons.” The look on his face screamed disgust. “Maybe he knew who you were.”

And who was I exactly? I didn’t even know that myself. “How do you know I was even drugged?” I did have two drinks. They were kinda strong.”

Caleb smirked “You were foaming at the mouth.”

My lips tightened. “I was not.”

“How would you know? You hardly remember anything.”

“I remember some.”

“I know drunk. You weren’t drunk. I know drugged, and you were drugged.” I shoved a spoonful of cereal into my mouth, out of anger. Caleb’s arrogance was back with a vengeance. He was such a know it all. I wanted to ask him if he was joking about me foaming at the mouth, but I knew he would enjoy that too much.

“Is Mellissa okay?” I asked him instead. I hadn’t really seen her at all last night. I chewed my cereal while he answered.

“She’s fine. She’ll be hung-over, but she’ll live.”

“Was she very drunk?”

He nodded. “Very. Now eat your cereal before it goes soggy.” I finished it off and Caleb took the bowl, dropping it into the sink.

“Caleb, I need to go home. I need to change and I need to wash.”

“You can do all that here,” he said, totally dismissing the idea of me leaving this place.

“None of my stuff is here,” I argued.

“I can take you to get it.”

“Caleb, this is ridiculous. I need to go home.” I swung around on my stool when I heard the front door open. My face lit up when I saw Ressler standing there. These past few months he had become like my best friend, just as long as I ignored his feelings for me, that is. “Ressler, will you tell him please that I need to go home and he can’t keep me locked up in here forever?”

Ressler looked from me to Caleb, clearly not wanting to make a bad situation worse. “You shouldn’t be on your own, Pria.”

“Did you tell him what happened?” I asked Caleb.

“Yes,” he said.

“I’ll stay with her. At her house I mean,” Ressler offered, looking at Caleb. I looked up. Caleb did not look happy, and just when I thought he was about to bite Ressler’s head off, his expression shifted, and looking at me, he nodded.

“Work’s for me,” Caleb said. Of course it works for him, now that he couldn’t give a shit about me. He was probably glad Ressler had taken me off his hands. I smiled at Caleb but it came out more like a grimace. “I’ll go and get my coat then.”

Back in Caleb’s bedroom, I put on my boots. I grabbed my coat from the wardrobe and stuck my hand’s in the pockets, hoping there was a hair tie in there, or at least some hair pins. My fingers closed around a square piece of paper and I pulled it out. The lined paper was folded, and I opened it up.

My heart felt like it had been frozen in time.

Scrawled across the very center of the page in blue ink, were the words:

Gabriel is not your father

I stood with the ugly note in my shaking hands, unsure what to do next. Who wrote this? Where had it come from? It had to be some sort of joke. Who could do such a thing? I crumpled the note up into a ball and then changing my mind, I ripped it up until all that was left of it, was a pile of tiny shreds. I went into the bathroom and flushed the fluttering heap down the toilet. It was gone, I wouldn’t have to think about it again. It wasn’t true, it was a sick joke.

I stepped back out into the living room. Caleb watched me deliberately, like he could see something was up, but I just smiled.

“Ready?” Ressler asked me.

“Ready,” I said.

L
ater, back at home, I showered and changed into Caleb’s old baseball tee and a pair of shorts. I blow-dried my hair and sat at my dressing table, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I had changed so much in the past few months. Two personalities looked back at me from the glass. The old me- the familiar me, and the new me. I didn’t know anything about the new me. The girl I was now, was confused, lost, and scared. Until my dad woke up, I wouldn’t have any of the answers I needed. Only he knew the truth now, and only he would tell me it. I could count on Caleb for a lot of things, but honestly was never part of the deal with him. Caleb had me tucked away at arm’s length- a safe distance. He would never truly let me in and I was done trying.

I pulled open the drawer on my dressing table and picked out my mom’s picture. My dad thought my mom might have killed herself because she could no longer face her life- her relationship. But was starting to think differently. Whoever she was running from, I was now running from. My mom was dead but the cause of her death was alive and kicking, and coming for me. I didn’t understand any part of it, only that I could do things that no-one else could. Things that you only ever read about. I ran my finger over my mom’s beautiful face and kissed the picture before tucking it back into my drawer.

Downstairs, I grabbed a glass of milk and took it outside with me. It was past six o’clock, and it was pitch black. The night sky was clear and filled with a spattering of tiny, silver stars. I sat down on the cold fabric of the love seat, curling my legs up under me, and shivered. It wasn’t freezing, but the air held a trace of frost. It was far too cold for just shorts and t-shirt, but I wasn’t staying out long. I just needed to clear my head. I watched the steady stream of mist swirl from my mouth and evaporate into the air.

I was going to try and make it a little warmer. I wasn’t sure how, but I was going to give it my best shot.

I clenched my eyes tightly shut and thought about sunshine, holiday, summer, a blazing hot fire. I could still feel the sharpness of the cold, so I tried harder. I was concentrating so hard I could practically feel the brilliance of the beach I was picturing myself lying on. The sun was high and scorching. The sky clear and blue. Even the water that lapped up over my toes was warm. I could feel the smile tugging at my lips. I opened my eyes, sure it had worked, but the temperature was the same, and I had the same chill in my body. Dammit! Why couldn’t I do it anymore?

The porch door clattered and Ressler stepped through. He shrugged himself free of his grey hoodie and threw it at me. I peeled it off my face and he laughed.

“Thanks,” I said, pulling it over my head. “I was trying to make it a little warmer, but as you can see-” I put my hand up into the air. “It didn’t work.”

“It will happen on its own,” said Ressler, sitting down next to me.

“Will it?” I asked, unconvinced.

“Yes. You need to be more patient.”

I turned to look at him. “I haven’t got time to be patient, Ressler. People want me dead. No, not people. Fallen angels. They are one hundred times stronger than me, you know that. This is all I have and I don’t have time to sit around and wait for something to happen. I need to make it happen.”

“You know what Caleb said.”

“The power could consume me, yes I know, and I’m not afraid. You know what Caleb’s like. He’s overprotective and secretive, and for all I know, he’s making the whole thing up.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know. To control me?”

“You have no idea what you’re up against here.” Ressler said with a grunt.

“But you do?”

Ressler took a moment before he answered me. ”No, I don’t.”

“You do. I can tell. What are you keeping from me?” I let out a small laugh, but it was thick with bitterness. “I would expect Caleb to lie to me, but not you. You’re supposed to be my friend.”

“Right. Your friend.” The way he said it let me know he hated it, and I dismissed it like I always did.

“I know you know, Ressler. I don’t doubt it for a second. And when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be waiting.” I would let this go for now, but I wouldn’t forget. He knew something, and I wanted to know what. I had been tempted to ask him about the note I found in my pocket earlier, but I couldn’t see the point now, and asking him about it would mean I doubted that it was a prank, and might actually be real.

“Why can’t you just trust me?” he said.

“When you give me a reason to, I will.”

He rubbed the back of his head and puffed out a defeated breath. “I would never deliberately lie to you, but I will never do anything to put you in danger, either. Has it not once crossed your mind that what Caleb said is true? Have you not once thought that just maybe, the things we think you might be able to do are so powerful, we need to protect you from it? Tell me now that you really believe we are so against you that we get off lying to you all the time.”

I didn’t know what to say. Ressler wore his emotions on his sleeve and I wanted to believe him, I really did, but he didn’t understand how I was feeling. He didn’t get what this was like for me. He didn’t know what it was like to lose yourself and have to try and find a path in a new life- a life that I couldn’t even tell anybody about.

“I get it, Ressler. I need to figure it out on my own.” I took a drink of my milk and thought about what he said. I couldn’t carry on just waiting. “Can we compromise?”

“Depends on the compromise,” he said.

“I won’t push you anymore with questions, on one condition.”

He looked skeptical. “What’s that?”

“You help me figure out what it is that I can do.”

He looked at me with part smirk, part frown.

“I want to practice.”

“Caleb-”

“I couldn’t give a crap about Caleb. He’s not my handler,” I said with aggravation. “Do you do everything Caleb says?” I said it to get him on side. I knew he wouldn’t want to be thought of as nothing more than an obedient follower.

He smiled broadly. “Okay, it’s a deal.”

“Excellent.” I couldn’t help it. I shrieked and pulled myself up onto my knees and threw my arms around his neck. I landed a quick kiss on his cheek. “You’re the best.”

“Make sure you remember that.”

I nodded. “I won’t forget it.”

“So was the party last night worth it?” he asked me. I shot him a look that said, what do you think?

“I just needed to get away,” I said. “I needed to be somewhere where Caleb wouldn’t know where I was.”

“Because of Tamara?”

“You know he’s been hanging out with her?” I rocked back onto my heels.

“He’s not hanging out with her.”

“Then what would you call it?” The words came out harsher than I meant them to, but that was the effects of Caleb.

“More like, she’s hanging around him.”

“I don’t see him telling her to go away.”

Ressler shrugged. “I can’t answer that. That’s a conversation you’ll need to have with him.

“I don’t want a conversation with him about it. He can do what he wants.”

Ressler looked at me up through his thick lashes. “We both know that’s not true.” I turned away and wrapped my hands around my glass of milk. The cool breeze rustled through the shedding trees that surrounded my house, blowing the orange and brown leaves across the lawn. “He’s going to leave, Ressler. And he’s not coming back. What he does now, until then, is none of my business.” It was true, but somewhere along the line, my heart had failed to get the memo.

***

I opened my eyes. My curtains were open, and rain crashed down angrily against my bedroom window. I knew I was being watched. The sensation was so overbearing that it had woken me up. I knew there was someone in the room, but I still managed to suck in a sharp breath of surprise when I saw the figure sitting at my window seat. It was all black, outlined in silver from the full moon outside. I wanted to close my eyes but they were frozen wide open. I couldn’t look away. The figure rose to full height, and I scrambled backwards out of bed, grabbing my quilt for protection. I didn’t know what kind of protection, I just needed to put something between me and whoever was in my room.

“It’s just me,” The figure said in a hushed tone. I instantly recognized the voice.

“Caleb?

“Yes.”

“What- I mean, how did you get in here?” I shook my head in bewilderment.

“You’re dreaming,” he said.

“Dreaming?” I was confused. “How can this be a dream? I’m awake.”

“Ressler’s downstairs. Scream if you want, he won’t hear you.”

I wasn’t going to do it at first, but I wouldn’t put it past Caleb to be manipulating the truth again. I opened my mouth and screamed at the top of my lungs. Caleb winced at my shrill voice. I stood and listened.

Nothing. Ressler couldn’t hear me.

“Told you. You’re wearing my t-shirt,” he said, nodding down at the baseball tee I had on and nothing else apart from my underwear. It was long enough to cover everything, but I pulled the quilt up over me anyway.

“Why am I dreaming about you?” I could see him clearer now that my eyes had time to adjust to the darkness. He was wearing the same white t-shirt, rolled up to his shoulders and dark grey sweat pants. His white high tops glowed like snow under the moonlight.

I could just see the beginnings of a smile pull at the corner of his mouth. It was all confidence and arrogance. It was all Caleb.

“The heart wants what the heart wants.” He walked over to my bed, slowly, and I took a step backwards, banging my lower back on the dressing table.

His smile widened. He reminded me of a wolf. A wolf out to get its prey. “You’re scared of me now?”

“No. I just don’t know what’s going on here. You say I’m dreaming but this is too real. You’re really here.”

“You’re dreaming, trust me. Do you think I would really be here otherwise?”

“I guess not,” I said.

He came over, stopping in front of me, and tugged the quilt out of my hands and threw it back on the bed.

“I like you wearing my clothes,” he said. “Suit’s you.”

I felt the heat creep up onto my cheeks. He moved closer, pressing me up against the dressing table. The wood dug deeper into my skin and I winced with pain. Caleb slid his arm in-between me and the furniture and pulled me up against him. There was so many things I wanted to say to him, but no words were there. My mind was empty, and my heart was full. I slid my hand up over the side of his face, and pushed my fingers through his hair. With his head lowered, I dropped my forehead against his, breathing heavily. His hands snaked up to my waist and he picked me up, lowering me onto the dressing table. With his hands now firmly on my thighs, he pushed my legs slightly apart, making room for himself to stand in-between. Placing a finger under my chin, he tipped my head up towards his face, staring down at me from under hooded eyes and pulled his bottom lip in-between his teeth. I looped my legs around his waist, and pulled him even closer, if that was possible. He braced his hands on the dresser, to stop from crushing me, and broke out into a wicked grin. His eyes narrowed and I swallowed a deep breath.

“Do it now,” he whispered.

I looked at him. “Do what?”

“Whatever you want. You can do anything.” He was smiling, but I had no idea what he was talking about. “The power’s there, it’s just waiting for you. Go on,” he urged gently.

“And do what with it?” I asked. I thought he didn’t want me to rush anything.

He shrugged. “Surprise me.”

There was only one thing I wanted to do, and it had nothing to do with power. I put my hands on Caleb’s shoulder’s and gripped his t-shirt, pulling myself up, locking my legs tighter around his waist. He moved his hand under my legs, and picked me up. I grabbed his face and kissed him. He turned us around and lowered me onto the bed, with his body firmly on top of me. I pushed up his shirt to feel the solid curves of his back, and let my hands roam freely. I was undeniably lost, so far gone, I didn’t care that this was just a dream. In fact, I hoped I never woke up.

The door burst open and I jerked awake. I scrunched up my eyes against the harshness of the bright light and when I re-opened them, Ressler ran over to me from the open doorway and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Is this you?”

I was about to ask him what was me, when I felt the biting wind blow in through my open bedroom windows. I pushed his hands off me, and freed myself of my quilt. I kneeled on the window seat and stuck my head out of the window and into the roaring winds. The weather was frantic and the cold nipped at my skin, unforgivingly. I could see the wind swirling, and tearing down from the sky, whipping up any loose debris in its path. I looked back over my shoulder at Ressler. My hair whipped around my face, and I clawed at it, pulling strands from my mouth. “What makes you think it’s me?” I shouted.

“I’ll show you.” He pulled me out of my bedroom by my hand and we thundered down the stairs and out of the already open front door. I wrapped my hands tightly around my freezing body, as the wind lashed wildly at my bare legs and exposed arms. I looked up at the turmoil in the swirling sky, taking one step at a time slowly down to the yard, unable to believe what I was seeing. The wind was howling, ringing in my ears it was so loud. My hair blew ferociously around my head, and my mouth hung open in astonishment.