I’d been the same way when I first saw his house.
I led Thomas to the room at the end of the hall. My door was already open, and I smiled as we walked in, seeing my cat, Pickles, asleep on my bed. Thomas set down our suitcases, his mouth dropping open as he took in the posters on the pale pink walls and the stuffed animals on the queen-sized white canopy bed.
My face grew warm as I cleared my throat. “So…this is my room.”
“It’s very…lovely.”
I laughed and picked up my suitcase. “I believe ‘girly’ is the word you’re looking for. Or maybe ‘juvenile.’ ”
I unpacked my stuff, then Thomas’s. It was surreal to see his boxers mixed in with my underwear in my childhood dresser.
He sat on the bed, waking Pickles. He reached over and petted her behind the ears. It was her favorite spot. She purred and nuzzled her orange and white face against his hand.
Oh, man, I’d missed this cat. Before I left for college, she’d slept with me every single night for six years—ever since we’d gotten her. I walked over and reached out, anxious to feel her familiar soft fur beneath my fingers.
She turned and hissed, baring her long, sharp canines. I jerked my hand back as she growled, her tail fluffing as she jumped off the bed and darted out of the room, keeping her body low to the ground.
I stared at the door, dumbstruck. Her rejection stung something fierce. “What the hell was that about?”
Thomas pulled me into him. “You probably just smell different, that’s all.”
I frowned. She didn’t seem to have a problem with
Thomas
.
“Can you pass the potatoes?”
Several hurt feelings and a bag of wasted catnip later, we were all gathered around the dinner table. I picked up the giant bowl of mashed potatoes in front of me and handed them to my mom.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” She scooped out a big helping and plopped it down on her plate.
The sight of it made my stomach churn and I had to look away, frowning as I thought,
Huh… That’s weird.
I picked at the chicken on my plate, moving it around with my fork. I wasn’t really hungry, but my mom had gone to the trouble of cooking, so I was determined to eat.
My father finished chewing and set his fork down. “You okay, Em?” His dark blond brows pulled together as he looked me over. “You don’t look so good.”
Thomas’s concerned expression matched my dad’s.
“I’m fine,” I said, grabbing my glass to take a drink of water. I gulped it down and set the empty glass back on the table, then smiled at everyone for reassurance, right as my stomach clenched, sending a sharp pang through me. The smile faded as my stomach heaved. Covering my mouth, I mumbled, “Excuse me,” and got up from the table, turning to run to the bathroom.
I vaguely heard Thomas say something about checking on me as his chair scraped the tile.
A second later, I was upstairs in my bathroom, on my knees as I heaved into the toilet. The contents of my stomach left me in a vile, sour rush, making my eyes water and my nose run.
Thomas banged on the locked door. “Em? Are you okay? Let me in.”
“Go away.” I coughed and my stomach heaved again, even though it was empty at this point.
The lock on the door was easy to pick, which he did, after it became clear that I wasn’t going to let him in anytime soon. I flushed the toilet as he came in, my arm and head draped across the seat.
He sat on the lip of the bathtub, reaching out to rub my back. “Feel any better?”
As if to answer his question, I retched again, my sides painfully contracting as nothing came out.
God
, I didn’t want him to see this. He had to be grossed out beyond words.
He held back my hair, sinking down to the floor with me as he continued rubbing my back in soft, slow measures. “It’s okay. I got you.”
Chapter Six
Wednesday, December 23rd
EMILY
My mom looked up from her newspaper as I entered the kitchen. “Are you hungry? I made pancakes.” She folded her paper and took a sip from her coffee mug.
I shook my head, trying not to make a face as I sat at the breakfast counter. “My tummy’s still a little queasy.” The scent of her cooking still lingered in the air, and even
that
didn’t sit right with me.
“Emily…” My mom had that uncomfortable look she got whenever she tried to have a serious conversation with me. “Are you and Thomas…being careful?”
My face burned as I looked away.
Oh my god
, she thought I was pregnant. “Geez, mom…
Yes
, all right?” Why’d she have to jump to conclusions? Couldn’t I have just eaten something bad?
She cleared her throat and took another sip of her coffee. “Just making sure.”
Thomas chose that moment to walk into the kitchen, his face as red as mine. He must’ve heard everything. Shit, how could he
not
with his super-hearing?
“Morning, Thomas. Would you like some breakfast?”
He couldn’t look my mom in the eyes. He just mumbled, “Yes, please.”
Even the tips of his ears were pink.
My mom made him a plate as he pulled out the chair next to me, the soft scrape of the legs on the tile filling the awkward silence. “Here you go, dear,” she said as she set his plate in front of him.
Thomas smiled and thanked her as he picked up his fork.
My lip curled as I watched his syrup drip down the stack of pancakes, moving thick and slow. Gross.
My mom grabbed her mug and took a sip. “I’m off to shower,” she said, giving us a wave as she left the kitchen.
I listened to her slippers scrape the living room floor, then the hallway, making sure she was out of earshot before muttering, “Oh my god, kill me now.”
Thomas winced as he stabbed a hunk of pancakes with his fork. “That
was
pretty bad.”
My head dropped to the counter as I moaned. The granite felt nice and cool against my forehead. I didn’t get to enjoy it for long, as an errant thought decided to bolt through me then, making my chair fall back as I stood.
I ignored Thomas’s arched brow and said, “When you said you couldn’t get me pregnant before I matured, did you take into account my…otherness?”
His eyes dropped, and my stomach dropped along with them. “
Oh my god
.” My hands cradled my head as I paced. Could last night have been morning sickness?
My stomach roiled at the thought.
Thomas set his fork down and stood. “Come here.”
I glanced up at him, but couldn’t make sense of his words for the life of me. “What?”
“Come here,” he said, pulling me to him. He dropped to his knees and pulled up my shirt, placing the side of his face against the skin of my lower belly.
“What are you—”
“
Shh
,” he said, frowning as he held a finger over his mouth. I stood stock-still as he stayed like that for several seconds. He finally dropped my shirt and stood. “I don’t hear a second heartbeat.”
My lips parted. “You could hear it?”
“If there was something to hear, yes. But there’s not—at least not yet.” He shrugged as he sat back down and picked up his fork. “I can try and listen again in a few days.”
“Well, that’s reassuring,” I mumbled.
He took a drink of his OJ and said, “Sorry, but it’s all I have right now. Human pregnancy tests won’t work on you, so…” He shrugged again.
I picked up my chair and sat next to him. “How does reproduction work for Feeders? Is it the same as for you guys?”
He frowned. “You know, I don’t really know. They don’t seem to have our infertility issues.” He speared another piece of pancake. “I’ve always wondered how their women can carry a child to term.”
My brows pinched. “Why?”
“Well, their skin is so hard it’s like they’re made of stone. It’s completely unyielding. I don’t see how their bodies stretch to accommodate a growing womb. It seems like the baby would crush them from the inside.”
“Huh…” I bit my lip, mentally adding
crushed from the inside
to my list of reasons why it’d be bad if my eggo was prego. Like I needed any more.
Chapter Seven
Friday, December 25th
EMILY
“Merry Christmas.”
I smiled at Thomas’s deep, sleep-tinged voice in my ear, cracking my eyelids open as his arm snaked around my midsection, pulling my back into his warm chest. My childhood bedroom came into focus, the early morning sun casting an orange glow over the room.
“Merry Christmas to you, too,” I said, my voice hoarse from sleep as well.
He propped himself up on his elbow and kissed my bare shoulder. “Open my present.” He shifted and his hand came into view, holding a slim black rectangular box. It was a jewelry box, and by the looks of it, it was too big for a bracelet, and
much
too big for a ring or earrings.
I sat up and took the box from him, my fingers brushing over the smooth dark surface before I lifted the lid. Stretched across the silky cream lining was a delicate silver chain, with a silver and diamond seahorse pendant. A curvier and elongated “S” shape of silver metal formed the belly and tail, and the diamond encrusted nose and mane were formed by what looked like the curve of a question mark.
My eyes welled up as I thought back to our aquarium trip. Our talk of soul mates and seahorses seemed like a lifetime ago. God, things were so simple then. I was just a girl. Thomas was just a boy. No supernatural bullshit to muddy things up.
I ran my fingers over the cold metal and looked up at him. “It’s beautiful.”
His mouth broke into a wide grin. “You like it?”
“I love it.” I closed the box and cupped his face with my hands, leaning in to kiss him.
Before our lips could make contact, he had me flat on my back. His hands pinned mine above my head, pressing them into the pillows. His face was no longer light and playful, but serious and…lusty.
My breathing hitched as his pale blue eyes darkened, the silver flecks standing out against the navy.
Thomas and I had not been intimate since the night before I matured. That’s eight
long
days of pent-up sexual tension. And I didn’t know why he’d abstained, although it’s not like
I
was trying very hard to get something going.
Truth be told, I had…
reservations
about getting up close and personal with him, though I wouldn’t have admitted it out loud. ’Cause then I could no longer pretend everything was okay. I could no longer deny that his pulse points beckoned me. It would voice the one thing we both knew, but didn’t want to admit.
His eyes met mine as he leaned in slowly, like he was aware how precarious the situation was. His scent washed over me, his face inches from mine. Saliva gathered in my mouth as my nostrils flared.
I immediately locked my muscles into place, desperate to keep control of the urge burning inside my every cell. My heart beat so hard that it felt like it was going to burst through my chest.
I was a living statue as his forehead touched mine. We breathed each other in. He would exhale, and I would inhale. His breath was warm and sweet, like candy. His lips brushed mine, gently at first, before parting them, his tongue snaking out to greet mine in a warm, wet caress.
That’s when I lost all self-control.
I
tasted
him as we kissed. He was no longer a teasing scent contained to my nose and lungs, but a full-blown palpable flavor that I had to have.
Right now.
I flipped him onto his back and straddled him, registering the shock on his face. It didn’t stop me.
My mouth crashed into his, urgently devouring every kiss. His heart beat faster and his breathing became heavy as his hands roamed my body. I moved down to his neck and suckled his flesh, the heat from his skin radiating in my mouth. I tasted the salt on his skin, and eyed the pulsating spot of his thin membrane.
Before I became too fixated, I moved my mouth down his chest, running my hands across his firm stomach. Circling back up, I rested a hand on his pec, right above his heart. I felt its steady beats through his chest as warmth pooled under my touch.
My eyes darted to his jugular, the pulse in his neck beating in time with his heart.
Thump-thump, thump-thump. Thump-thump, thump-thump.
It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.
“It’s okay,” Thomas said, his voice jerking my eyes up to his face. His breathing left him in shallow pants, his eyes heavy-lidded. “I want you to.”
His cock twitched under me, hard and insistent. He was
aroused
? At a time like this? How had I not noticed until now?
My eyes dropped back to the vein in his neck, pulsing away like a goddamn invitation. My mouth went dry as my stomach clenched, feeling true hunger for the first time since I’d matured. Like a pull from a magnet, I felt myself leaning down, my eyes zeroing in on the spot of his neck that seemed to taunt me—
“Breakfast is ready!”
My mother’s cheerful shout was like a bucket of cold water thrown directly in my face. I froze and looked around, noticing the smallest things. My pile of stuffed animals in the corner. The large mirror over my dresser, its border adorned with pictures from my youth, old concert tickets, and various items that at some point or another had been important to me.
This had been my sanctuary for years. I couldn’t believe I’d been about to sully it with something so heinous.
I climbed off Thomas and crawled out of bed, keeping my eyes away from him. I grabbed some yoga pants, hitching my legs through them one at a time as I saw Thomas stand behind me in the dresser mirror. My eyes roamed over his half-naked body, glad to see his boxers weren’t tenting out in front of him.
His arms reached in front of me, holding out the necklace before my throat. I lifted my hair, and cold metal wrapped around my neck. Once he clasped it, I dropped my soft waves as his arms dropped to my waist and wrapped around my belly. He leaned down and kissed the side of my neck.