Fall for Me (18 page)

“Talk to me then, princess. Tell me why you feel the way you do because I see nothing but beauty regardless of what size you are.”

With a sniffle, Beth took a deep breath and admitted, “I’ve never liked myself. For a big part of my life, I was overweight and disgusted by the reflection in the mirror. I became so obsessed at avoiding mirrors that I only kept a small one to apply makeup. I avoided seeing my full body; it was too horrible. Finally, several years ago, I went to the mall to buy a dress for a friend’s wedding. The dressing room was made of floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Suddenly, I could no longer escape the person looking back at me. I begged out of my friend’s wedding and, from that moment on, I only ate enough to get by. There was nothing healthy about the diet I put myself on, but it worked. I lost the weight and I lost it fast. If I thought my parents were critical before, it got even worse. They badgered me about regaining weight. I completely stopped eating in front of them. I moved out of their house and got my own place just to escape their scrutiny.”

Nick rubbed her back and waited quietly for her to continue.

“I finally found a happy balance with food. I found if I exercised every day, I didn’t have to exist on just the bare minimum. No matter what number the scales showed though, I still cringed every time I stood in front of a mirror. I wore small clothing sizes, but I still felt like one meal could change that immediately. I have lived in terror of gaining back the weight—as my parents predicted—and of never regaining control.”

“The pregnancy pushed you to the brink, didn’t it?” Nick asked quietly.

“Yeah, it did. When I found out, that is all I could think about: that I would gain weight and destroy everything I had worked for. I was still doing okay though, until that dinner with my parents. That pushed me right off the deep end. Having them voice all my fears, and pound away at my hard-won confidence snapped something inside me. From that moment on, my entire focus was avoiding food. I lied, I hid it, I did everything short of gagging myself, and I’m not sure how far away that was. I’m scared to know what the breaking point would have been for me, Nick.”

“Beth, you didn’t cause what happened. I told the doctor everything and she assured me that, although it could have caused you problems eventually, your diet had nothing to do with vanishing twin syndrome.”

“I know, but in the back of my mind I will always wonder, and there is no way to change that. It was a wake-up call that I never wanted to happen.”

“I hope this doesn’t make you mad, but I have been doing some research and there are some great groups in the area for people with eating disorders.” When Beth opened her mouth, Nick held his hand up and continued. “I would go with you, princess. You don’t have to decide right away, but I want to help you.”

Seeing Nick visibly braced for her answer made her heart melt. “Thanks, baby. I think that’s a good idea. I do have a problem and I can’t continue to believe that I can handle it on my own. I don’t want to pass on this type of body-image problem to our children. I need to learn to like myself.”

“Princess, you need to learn to love yourself, just as I love you. I love you for you. Whatever size you feel comfortable with is for you to determine. I never want you to think you have to resort to starving yourself for me. You are Beth to me, not a number on the scales.”

Beth wrapped her arms around Nick and wondered how it was that every painful moment in her life had brought her to this point. She might have a long road ahead of her, but with Nick by her side, the only thing that was important was the ride.

Chapter Twenty-eight

Beth climbed in Nick’s new SUV and buckled her seat belt. They usually rode to work together a few days a week when they had the same schedule. Tonight they were going to dinner before heading home. When Nick turned away from the city, Beth looked around curiously. “Where are we going?”

“I have to run by Gray’s. I still have his garage door opener and he’s raising hell about it.”

“Why didn’t you just give it to him or Suzy at the office today?”

“Oh, I just forgot. So we’ll drop it off and then go to dinner.”

Even for Nick, that was a strange explanation, but Beth had learned long ago to just go with it. Suzy probably sent him a nasty text message and threatened some other body part if he didn’t return it immediately. When they pulled in a few minutes later, she stayed in the car, thinking Nick would just run it in and they would be on their way. When he opened the door for her, she looked up in surprise. “I can just wait here.”

“No, come on in for a few minutes. I . . . I need to go to the bathroom.”

Oh geez, have we reached the point in our relationship where we talk about our bathroom habits?
“Well, okay. I guess I can wait inside.” Nick took her hand and pulled her into the kitchen. When he turned around and swung her up in his arms, she thought he had lost his mind. “Nick, what are you doing?”

He sat her on the counter and stepped back. Was it her imagination or did he look nervous? “Princess, you know I love you.”

My God, is he going to break up with me in my sister’s house?
“Yeah, I know, and I love you, too.”

“Good, good,” he said, fidgeting. “So most people spend anniversaries where they had their first date. They, um, also do other things where they had their first date.”

“Okay, sure.”
Why does he look so terrified?
When he suddenly dropped to one knee, the breath left her body.
Oh my God!

“Beth, I’m worried that we didn’t have our first date in a more romantic location, but since this is where it all started, then it had to be the start of the rest of our lives together. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. My life was empty until you stormed into it. Please do me the honor of being my wife and the mother of my children. Also, please protect me from your sister’s threats for the rest of our lives.”

Nick pulled a ring box from his pocket. He opened the box, revealing a large princess-cut diamond ring sparkling against black velvet. He was looking at Beth as if his life depended on her answer.

Beth was crying, but she managed to nod her head, and then yelled, “Yes!” Nick slid the ring onto her finger and pulled her from the counter and into her arms. “I love you, Nick.” Beth sobbed as he twirled her in his arms.

When he placed her back on her feet, she pulled back and asked, “How in the world did you get Gray to give you his kitchen again?”

Nick laughed. “It wasn’t easy and I had to promise not to compromise the counters again. He said Suzy was going to the gym after work so she wouldn’t find out until it was too late. Apparently, she hasn’t forgiven us for our first ‘date’ in her kitchen.”

“Yeah, I still regret telling her that. She sure does hold a grudge.” Then, placing her arms around his neck, she said, “Of course, if that should happen again, I would never make the mistake of telling her.”

“Princess, I don’t think that’s a good idea . . .”

Beth pushed her body closer to his, running her hand down lightly and grazing his growing erection. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Ahhh, baby, don’t look at me like that. You know I have no control where you are concerned. We need to get out of here.”

“If Suzy is going to the gym, she’ll be a while. Where is Gray?”

Nick was having a hard time forming words with her hand stroking him through his slacks. “Ugh, drinks . . . client.”

“Perfect,” she purred.

“Ah, hell,” Nick moaned as he lifted her back to the counter. “If your sister ever finds out about this, I’m blaming it all on you.”

Beth choked on a laugh as Nick lifted her shirt and started to suck on a nipple through the thin fabric of her bra. All thoughts left her mind as they re-created their first coupling on her sister’s granite counter. It was hot and furious. The possibility of getting caught made the thrill even greater. When it was over, Nick collapsed against her while Beth leaned against the cabinets and panted.

“That was freaking amazing,” Nick wheezed.

Beth stroked her fingers through his thick hair, nodding her agreement. Who would have thought that what began in this kitchen would eventually bring them full circle here? When she had given in to her desire for Nick Merimon in this very spot, she never imagined that she would be the woman to tame the playboy. She had no doubt in her heart that he was completely hers, body and soul. What she ever did to deserve him, she didn’t know, but she liked to believe that one of the stars she had wished upon so long ago had finally heard her plea.

Nick shifted off her and helped her off the counter. “We’d better get it together and get out of here.” He pulled up his slacks and zipped them, leaving his dress shirt hanging out. He pulled Beth’s shirt down and helped her button her new maternity slacks. Beth knew that eating in a restaurant was no longer an option. It was going to be takeout. They both looked like they had just made out in the backseat of a car.

Giggling like teenagers, they walked out the kitchen door and ground to a stop as Suzy stood in front of them with her hands on her hips. Beth heard Nick groan as she gave her sister a sheepish grin. “I know you two horny goats didn’t just deface my kitchen yet again!”

“Well . . . we were just leaving your garage door opener,” Nick offered.

“Really? So you broke in and had sex in my kitchen so you could return it?”

“Not exactly. Gray knew we were coming so we didn’t break in,” he defended.

Beth winced, as Suzy’s voice got higher. “Gray said you could have sex in our kitchen?”

Nick looked at her and stepped back. “I’m sorry, princess, but I told you that this one was on you if we got caught, so good luck.”

Beth rolled her eyes as he stepped behind her. “Coward.” As Suzy glared daggers at them, the door slammed and Gray walked in. He appeared to assess the situation in one glance and gave a wry grin.

Suzy turned toward him with an innocent, sweet expression. “Baby?”

“Yes, dear?” Gray answered.

“Did you tell your brother that he could make out in our kitchen again?”

“Um . . . not exactly.”

Beth stepped forward and shoved her ring finger in her sister’s face. Since both men seemed to be terrified of her, she thought it was time for a distraction. Suzy’s mouth curved into a smile as she looked at the engagement ring.

“Well, I’ll be damned. I have no idea why you needed to return to the scene of the crime for this, but congratulations! Nicky, couldn’t you have at least taken my sister to a nice restaurant to propose?”

Nick looked at Suzy sheepishly and said, “This was our first . . . date, so it had to be here. I was planning to take her somewhere nice afterward.”

Suzy and Gray hugged them both. With a dramatic shudder, Suzy said, “If you will give me a minute to get my rubber gloves and Clorox out, I’ll grab us a drink from the kitchen to celebrate.” Suzy walked gingerly to the kitchen wrinkling her nose in distaste.

Gray clapped his brother on the shoulder and said, “You do realize when you two are on your honeymoon, Suzy and I are going to christen every surface in your apartment.”

Beth could feel her face turning red as Nick snickered. “Sorry, Gray,” Beth mumbled.

Gray laughed softly, “No worries, Beth. Welcome to the family. I’m happy for you guys and so is Suzy. She just needs to recover from the shock of another kitchen violation.”

Suzy returned from the kitchen with a tray of drinks. Beth drank her glass of apple juice as everyone else sipped a glass of wine.

Suzy cleared her throat and raised her glass. “Congratulations, baby sister. Nicky is a handful, but I know you can manage him. May you have everything you have always wished for. Gray and I are here for you and, with the exception of babysitting, we will help with anything that you need. Our home, with the exception of the kitchen, is always open to you.”

Beth smiled as she looked at her sister leaning with such contentment against Gray. Nick stood beside her with his arm curved around her waist and his hand resting against the swell of their child inside her. It hit her in that moment that this was it. This was what she and Suzy had searched for their whole lives: a family. Despite being told repeatedly that they didn’t exist, they had found their Prince Charmings. From this moment on, it was no longer Suzy and Beth against the world. They were part of the Merimon family where dreams were encouraged and anything was possible.

I have no idea what I’ve done in my life to deserve the love of the man beside me or the support of the family surrounding me, but I have it. I feel it. I’m completely in love with everyone in this room and for the first time in my life, I’m falling in love with me as well.

Epilogue

“Princess, it’s going to be fine. This is our second ultrasound since . . . The last one was fine and we’ve felt the baby kicking.”

Beth wrapped her arms around Nick’s waist, allowing him to pull her into an embrace. “I know, but I don’t think I’ll ever not be nervous.” Their follow-up ultrasound last month had been normal and the baby was right on schedule. They hadn’t been able to see the sex of the baby since he or she had stubbornly kept his or her legs closed. They were having a 3-D ultrasound this morning, and she was both excited and terrified to see the baby.

Nick had been wonderful and, outside of pushing her to get married, he had been more than she could have ever hoped. He was fully involved with every area of her pregnancy. He pampered her, he worried about her, and he treated her exactly like the nickname he used for her: princess. He was ready to get married as soon as possible, but she wanted to enjoy being engaged and to plan the girly wedding of her dreams.

They had also attended two meetings at Eating Disorders Anonymous. Nick had been incredibly supportive and he knew that each day was a struggle to accept the number on the scales. It would be a lifelong process, but she was happy with the progress that she had made.

Nick brushed a kiss on her forehead and led her out of the apartment and to the car. Another thing that Nick had been pushing for was buying a house. He was scared that she would fall on the stairs, and she had to admit that they were getting taxing. She promised him that they would start looking soon. He wanted a house on the beach and, although she loved the ocean, she still enjoyed living in the city and having everything nearby.

She felt the familiar tightness in her chest as they walked into the doctor’s office. She signed her name and took the seat beside Nick. He wrapped his hand around hers and whispered, “These women in here still hate me.”

Beth smiled because she knew that, as usual, they were checking out her man and ogling him like a piece of candy. When her name was called, Nick squeezed her hand reassuringly and followed her to the ultrasound room. He helped her onto the table and whispered in her ear, “I love you, princess,” before sitting down. No matter how calm he tried to act, she knew he was nervous, too.

She was vaguely aware of the bubbly technician chatting, but her eyes were glued to the monitor, waiting to see signs of life from the blurry image. When she saw the image of their obviously active baby, Beth let out a breath that she didn’t know she had been holding. Nick pressed his lips against her temple as they both gazed in wonder at the beautiful 3-D image.

“Ohhh,” said the technician.

They both jerked their eyes to her, alarm evident on their faces.

“Do Mom and Dad want to know the sex of the baby because it’s quite obvious,” the technician teased.

Unable to speak, they nodded their heads in agreement. “Congratulations, it’s a boy!” The technician pointed to what looked like an extra arm and Nick started chuckling.

By now, Beth’s silent tears had become more of a loud sobbing. Nick handed her some tissues, but couldn’t tear his eyes from the picture of his son, who appeared to be attempting some in-utero acrobatics. The technician handed them pictures and a DVD to keep, then left them alone in the room. She probably thought they needed to get control before they saw the doctor.

Nick helped her from the table and pulled her down into his lap. “Thank you, princess.”

Surprised, she asked, “For what, honey?”

“For giving me this moment, for loving me, and for carrying our baby. I can’t think of another time in my life when I have been this happy or this content.”

Beth stroked her hand down the face of the man she loved and said, “It’s my pleasure, Mr. Merimon. Heavy emphasis on the pleasure part.”

* * *

Beth dropped her fork on her plate with a contented sigh. Nick had insisted on breakfast after their doctor’s appointment and she was more than happy to join him. The doctor had been pleased with the ultrasound, and the baby continued to measure on target. Nick paid their bill and took her hand as they crossed the parking lot.

“You know, princess, since we’re having a boy, I would like to name him after my grandfather, my mother’s father. I was crazy about him. He died when I was ten. I know he would love for my son to carry his name.”

“I think that’s a great idea. I know it would mean a lot to your mom. So, what was his name?”

Nick kicked the ground with his shoes, refusing to make eye contract.

“Honey, what was his name?”

“Herman.”

“Um, what?” Beth asked, thinking she had heard him wrong.

“Herman.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Honey, I love you, but I’m not naming our child Herman. Didn’t he have a middle name?”

Nick continued to look down and finally muttered, “Winston.”

Beth jerked around in surprise. “Your grandfather’s name was Herman Winston?”

“Yeah. We can call him Hermie, for short.”

Beth looked at him incredulously. “You think that sounds better than Herman?”

“It’s fine, princess. It’s just a name; what’s the big deal?”

“It is a big deal. I’m not having our son beaten up in school all the time for having the name Herman Winston. Did his parents not like him?”

Nick put his hands on his hips and glared at her. “Princess, this is half my son and I’m naming my half Herman. You can name your half whatever you want to.”

Beth crossed her arms and glared right back at him. “Oh, really? Well, I think your half is already getting named Merimon so that leaves the other names to me.”

He opened her car door and motioned her in. When they got in he said, “Buckle up, we’re going to settle this the Merimon family way.”

She looked at him in confusion, but buckled her seat belt, curious to see what he was talking about.
The Merimon way had better be pretty damn good if he thinks he’s going to convince me to name our son Herman.

* * *

Nick’s mother looked surprised when she opened the door. “Well, hello, you two.” Then worry played across her face as she studied their expressions. “You had your doctor’s appointment today—was everything okay?”

Nick stepped forward to give her a kiss on the cheek as he ushered Beth into the foyer. “It was good, Mom. We found out we’re having a boy.”

His mother squealed and folded them both in a hug. “I’m thrilled, but you could have called me. You didn’t have to drive all this way.”

“We didn’t drive here to tell you, we are here for your kitchen. Break out the cookware, Beth and I need to make a decision.”

“Um . . . ok. Is there anything I can help you with?” his mother offered.

Nick sensed the perfect ally in his mother. She would surely back him on naming their son after her father. Maybe he could end this argument right here without ever entering the kitchen. “I want to name the baby after Grandpa Norton, but Beth doesn’t.”

Nick’s mother gave her son a proud smile and then looked at Beth with a questioning look.

Beth squirmed as she tried to justify her decision. “Vicky, I think it’s a wonderful idea, but I just think it would make it hard on the baby when he’s older to be named Herman Winston.”

Beth heard a chuckle as Nick’s father joined the group. He hugged and congratulated them both. She was relieved when Nick’s mother gave her a bright smile of encouragement before turning back to her son. “Nicky, I think you two need to bake this out. Go in the kitchen and suit up. You know that’s where we solve our problems and make our decisions.” Then, smothering a laugh behind her hand, she said, “Your dad and I will be there in a minute.”

Beth let Nick pull her through the foyer, toward the kitchen. She couldn’t understand why Nick’s mother and father seemed so amused by their argument over the name. She was relieved though that Nick’s mother no longer seemed offended by her desire not to name the baby Herman. She let Nick tie an apron on her and smiled when he also put one on himself. The man could even make baking look sexy.
Down, girl. You are already banned from your sister’s countertops; don’t repeat that mistake with your future in-laws.
Beth smiled and vowed to control herself, but she stood firm on two things: she was not naming their baby Herman and she was going to attack Nick Merimon as soon as they got home.

* * *

John Merimon looked at his wife as she dissolved in a fit of laughter. “Why does Beth think that Nick wants to name their baby Herman?”

“Oh, honey,” Vicky said, laughing, “you missed the best part. Nicky wants to name the baby after my father, Herman Winston.”

John looked even more confused as he said, “But your father’s name was Henry, not Herman.”

“I know, I know,” she gasped. “Remember how Dad was always picking on the kids and calling himself different names and saying he was from different places? Well, apparently our son bought in to it. He thinks Dad’s name was Herman and he’s determined to convince Beth to name their son after him.”

John started laughing too after finally getting the joke. “He was pretty young when your dad died so I guess it never came up after that.” Pulling his wife into his arms, he whispered in her ear, “So are you planning to tell them what your dad’s name really was?”

Vicky leaned back in her husband’s arms, with her eyes dancing in mischief. “Well, of course. Just as soon as they have those cakes finished. I’m a little hungry, how about you?”

John laughed as he squeezed her tight. “What difference will an hour make? I hope one of them is making lemon pound cake.”