Fall for Me (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-seven

“It’s been a week, Nick. What is going on over there?” Suzy demanded.

Nick ran a hand over the back of his neck, trying to ease some of the tension gathering there. “Nothing has changed, Suzy. She eats, she drinks, she walks around the block, and then she goes back to bed. She takes care of every basic need that the pregnancy book tells her to and then she blanks out until the next meal.”

“Have you tried talking to her again?”

Releasing a pent-up breath, Nick snapped back, “Of course! I talk to her constantly. She either gives me a one-word answer or ignores me. I fix her meals, fix her snacks, trail her on her walks . . . and I might as well be invisible. If I mention anything about the doctor’s appointment and it not being her fault, she walks off. I thought she was grieving, but she never cries or shows any emotion. It’s pretty damn scary.”

“Screw this; I’m coming over. You need help.”

“No, Suzy, please don’t. The last time you were here, she locked her door for the rest of the evening, which drove me up the wall. We just need to give her some more space. She’s eating and taking care of herself so we can’t risk upsetting her right now.”

“Shit, yeah, okay. I’ll give you a few more days, but this can’t go on forever. I’m worried about her.”

“I know you are. So am I. I’m just trying to keep her calm. It hasn’t been that long since we found out, so she just needs more time.”

* * *

Beth ate on autopilot. She didn’t taste food anymore; she didn’t care what it was. The only thing that mattered was saving the baby that she still carried in her womb. If not for that, she felt sure she would curl into a ball and never come out again. The only emotion she felt was anger at herself. The sorrow had dimmed as the blame intensified. Had it been a boy or girl, before she ended its life?

The one thing she could remember about the doctor’s appointment now was how proud she had been of losing weight. All those weeks of denying herself had seemed worth it as the number on the scale flashed. How far would she have gone if her appointment had been a few more weeks away? Would she have starved both babies in her paranoia of gaining weight?

Nick tried to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, but surely he must blame her. He had to be lying to reassure her. A part of her knew that she was being unfair, but that fairness no longer seemed important to her. Her life now revolved solely around taking care of this pregnancy. She didn’t want to return to work, she didn’t want to talk to friends or family, and she only tolerated Nick because he took care of the things that she wasn’t willing to, like grocery shopping and anything that would require her to rejoin the outside world.

She vaguely remembered Suzy coming by. Just as Nick had, she’d tried to reassure her that she wasn’t to blame for the loss of the baby. Beth had tolerated her until her sister had finally given up and gone away. After that, Beth had locked the door, afraid of who would be visiting next. She didn’t want pity, sympathy, or understanding. No one understood what she was going through or where her head was, and it pissed her off when they acted as if they did.

When the baby was born, she would leave Myrtle Beach and relocate somewhere away from all the prying eyes. Nick could go back to his old life and she would raise the baby on her own. Who would really miss her? Suzy had her life with Gray now, and her parents certainly wouldn’t shed a tear. Just thinking about them made her body burn with rage.

If there was anyone other than herself that she blamed, it was them. They had set the wheels in motion and she, unfortunately, had followed right along behind them. She was finished with trying to win their approval. She fully planned to never see them again, and knowing their level of parental involvement, it wouldn’t be a hard plan to carry out.

She loved her sister, but Nick would be the hardest one to walk away from. In those moments when her resolve wavered, she missed being in his arms. After the first few nights, he had given up sleeping with her and had taken spare blankets from the closet and slept on the couch. She expected him to pack his bags any day . . . and leave. Their whole relationship was based on sex, so why was he still here? Maybe some misplaced sense of guilt.

The days had long since started to blur together and she no longer knew how long she had been away from work and her regular life. Her focus was on the baby she carried. She laid a palm against the noticeable swell of her stomach. No longer was she concerned about the number on the scale. If she was never as thin as she was before her pregnancy, it didn’t matter. She ate regular meals and made sure that she nourished the life within her.

Beth walked to the bathroom and looked at the reflection in the mirror. She barely recognized the woman looking back at her. Her face was pale and devoid of makeup. The long tank top she was wearing hugged her stomach and left little doubt that she was pregnant. Her yoga pants were the only thing she could still wear besides her dresses and tops. None of her slacks would button any longer, and she didn’t care.

When the bedroom door slammed behind her, she squared her shoulders and hardened her heart. No matter how much she missed him, she couldn’t let Nick see her weakness toward him. It was better for them to both make the break and move on.

“Is this a private pity party or can anyone join?” Beth spun around to see Suzy with her hands on her hips, standing in the doorway. “I’m really surprised you haven’t put up some black curtains or started burning incense.”

“What . . . How . . . did you get in?”

“Well, your guard has also lost his mind, so I snuck in while he was gone. He’s probably getting himself chewed up and spit out.”

Wary now, Beth asked, “What’re you talking about? He went to the store.”

Shaking her head, Suzy said, “Oh, no, he’s not. He is gone to protect his princess from the root of all evil: our parents.”

Beth walked back into the bedroom and fell heavily onto the bed. “Why would he go see them?”

Rolling her eyes, Suzy said, “Gee, I don’t know. Perhaps because they pushed the woman that he loves off the deep end, and he blames them for everything.”

“He blames them?”

Suzy flopped on the bed and asked, “Out of that whole sentence, you only picked up on the blame thing?”

“I heard the rest, but Nick doesn’t love me,” she said dismissively.

“Oh, God, was I as stubborn as you are? The man wouldn’t have done half the crazy shit he’s done if he wasn’t in love with you. Wake up!”

“Suzy, I really don’t feel like arguing over this. All he has done is fix some meals and walk with me. How does that spell love? I could probably pay the guy from Domino’s to do the same thing.”

“Beth! The man hasn’t been to work in weeks. He shops for you in the middle of the night after you go to sleep so you won’t need anything while he’s gone. He has refused to travel so Declan is doing most of it. He sold his Audi and got an SUV with a car seat. He bought a damn baby monitor and hid it in your bedroom so he would hear you if you need him. He has parenting books stacked to the ceiling in the living room and he hasn’t shaved in weeks. The entire family divides their time between worrying about him and worrying about you.”

“I . . . I can’t believe that,” Beth whispered.

“Well, you better believe it. You need to get out of whatever funk you’re in and help the poor guy. He’s grieving, too, and you are shutting him out. He needs you, sis. You know men are horrible at this crap.”

“He has really gone to see Mom and Dad?”

Suzy fell backward on the bed in defeat. “Boy, you are fixated on that part, aren’t you? Yes, I think he’s there right now. He called Gray this morning, seriously pissed off. He has been stewing on the things they said to you. He said they needed to know what had happened and that if they didn’t clean up their acts, they wouldn’t be a part of the baby’s life.”

“I can’t believe he’s doing that.”

“No kidding. The man means well, but they are probably chewing him up and spitting him out right now.” Suzy pulled Beth down beside her, hugging her tight. “I’m so sorry, sis. This whole thing just sucks.”

Beth allowed Suzy to pull her close. It felt so good to be with her sister again. They lay there in comfortable silence for what seemed like hours until Nick’s voice startled them both.

“Any other time, this moment would have been a dream come true,” Nick said, as he motioned to them in the bed with their arms around each other. “Now that you’re married to my brother and are like an annoying sister, this just seems wrong.”

With a sniff, Suzy sat up and said, “In your dreams, Nicky. So you survived a parental visit without any visible wounds. I’m impressed.”

Nick’s eyes were locked on Beth as he answered Suzy. “Yeah, I think we reached an understanding.”

Suzy looked at Nick and her sister, and hopped off the bed. “So, I think I’m going to head out. Gray will be wondering if I’m working a street corner again.” When neither Beth nor Nick showed any surprise over her last sentence, she smiled. “No, please stop begging me to stay. I told you, I have things to do.” When she still got no reaction, she walked toward the bedroom door. “Call me when you two come up for air.” With another smirk, she was gone.

* * *

Nick couldn’t take his eyes off the woman in front of him. She was now standing before him, looking like Beth again. Her eyes were no longer empty. Instead, an emotion that he hoped was love shone from them. She looked young, fragile, and beautiful. The deep breath he took stuck in his throat when he saw her hands resting against the curve of her stomach. She usually wore a jacket when they walked so he hadn’t noticed the evidence of her advancing pregnancy. He felt his legs go weak at the miracle growing inside her. Dropping to his knees, he placed his hands over hers and tears blurred his vision. Lowering his head, he laid a tender kiss on her stomach.

“Ah, princess. Please tell me you’re back, because I can’t stand to lose you again.”

Beth dug a hand in his hair, rubbing his head soothingly. “I’m here, Nick. I . . . I just need you to hold me for a while.”

Nick gathered her in his arms and settled them on the bed. She spooned against his front while his arms came around her, linking gently over her stomach. His lips trailed down her neck as he breathed in her famililar scent. How he had missed having her in his arms. He never wanted to go to sleep or wake up again without her lying beside him.

He took a deep breath and hoped he didn’t scare her away. “So I know Suzy told you I went to see your parents today.” He felt her nodding against him and he continued. “I talked to your mom and dad for quite a while. I told them how damaging their comments on your weight have been to you. I also told them about our loss and, you may find this hard to believe, princess, but they were devastated.”

Beth jerked around to look at him. “No way. That’s not possible, Nick.”

“Honey, it is. It seems that my words to them that night at Suzy’s had gotten them thinking. I’m not saying that they have suddenly became Ward and June Cleaver, but they want to do better. I don’t think they really know how to be typical parents, so it may be a long road.”

“I don’t want to see them!” Beth said fiercely.

“I know, princess, and they aren’t going to push you. Let’s just file it away for another day, okay?”

He felt Beth relax against him. “They still insisted on calling me Nicholas or young man, though. Well, except for when I was leaving.”

Beth started giggling. “They were so glad to get rid of you that they slipped and said, ‘Good-bye, Nick’?”

Smiling, Nick said, “Nope. When I told them how much I loved their daughter, your father said, ‘Take care of my girl, son.’”

The room was deathly quiet and Beth had gone stiff in his arms. Maybe he should have tried a more romantic declaration of love. “He called you
son
?”

Nick pulled her around to face him. “You did catch the other part, right?”

Beth gave him an innocent smile, saying, “I don’t believe I did. Could you repeat it?”

He smiled at her indulgently as he said, “I love you, Beth Denton. Please be the woman by my side, the mother of my children, and the siren that I adore for the rest of our lives.”

Next, Nick pulled Beth on top of him and asked, “So, do you have anything to tell me, princess?”

Beth looked down at him just as her stomach growled. “I’m hungry?”

Nick dropped his arms in defeat. “Oh, God, I give up.”

Laughing, Beth lowered her lips to his and teased her tongue along his mouth’s seam. Just as his lips parted, she pulled back and said, “I love you, too, Nick. I was afraid I would never be able to admit that to you, or even to myself. But I do love you, so much. There is no one else on this earth that I would rather have as the father of my baby than you.”

Nick reached up and cradled her head with his hands to finish the kiss that she had started. Food was soon forgotten as they made up for the weeks they had been off course. Nick tried to take it slow but Beth urged him deep inside her as she wrapped her legs tightly around his hips. He was powerless to deny her anything and soon his hips were pumping in a hard rhythm. His heart melted as she told him several more times how much she loved him. Would he ever get tired of saying it or hearing it?

He now knew he had spent his whole life going from woman to woman never involving his heart because it was already taken. He was born to love this woman in his arms and to be the father of the child she carried . . . and all of the other children they would have. No matter where they were, she would always be home to him.

* * *

Beth snuggled against Nick as they ate a late dinner on the couch. She even turned on ESPN so he could watch football while they ate. She admitted that she had been hiding food in the couch. Nick paused with his slice of pizza hovering near his mouth. He dropped the pizza back to his plate and turned off the television. Pulling her onto his lap, he rested his forehead against hers. “Ah, baby, I had no idea. I wish you could have talked to me about what was going on in your head.”

A tear rolled down her cheek at the emotion in his voice. “Me too, but I couldn’t. It’s still hard. I . . . I have a problem, Nick. I would like to think that the trauma of what happened has cured me, but I can’t be sure. The fear has always been there just below the surface since I lost the weight. I could blame it on my parents, and they do deserve some of the blame, but not all of it.”