Falcon Song: A love story (21 page)

“What I should have done ten years ago before I started. You just made me waste hundreds of dollars. Thanks a lot. C’mon.” He grabbed a jacket off of the back of a chair and walked to the door.

“Where are we going?”

Still furious and shaken by what Jason had started to do, he ground out, “To have this hand X-rayed and if you’ve broken my guitar finger I’m going to break your neck. Get in the Jeep!”

By the time they made it to the clinic, Jason was sound asleep in the reclined passenger seat and Cody cracked the windows and left him there while he went to have his hand looked at. He was still grumbling under his breath as he walked inside, “Fool idiot! What did he think sixteen ounces of Jack Daniels would fix?”

Cody hoped his outrage and dumping the booze would bring Jason to his senses, but it wasn’t to be. By the time he’d gotten the splint off of his little finger three weeks later, Jason had thoroughly gone off the deep end. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize he didn’t give a rip about whether he lived or died anymore.

On stage, he was a machine that drove the crowds wild and practically whipped the ladies in the audience into a frenzy. But off stage, he became morose and sullen and indeed began to drink to try to forget the girl who had left him and married someone else. He drank himself into the ground and then went home by himself to brood and write more number one hit songs that made Cody want to break down and cry when he initially read the lyrics. The friend he’d had since the first grade was trying to kill himself in one long drawn out binge.

The tabloids went crazy. Watching superstar, Jason Falcon self destruct became the number one story across the magazine racks and from the celebrity shows to the talk shows, the favorite pass time was trying to hypothesize as to why the straight arrow Christian boy of the decade had fallen so hard off the wagon. No one questioned whether it was a woman or not. The simple fact that he partied so hard, but wanted nothing to do with the groupies who threw themselves at him spoke volumes.

                                          ***

While Kate struggled to keep her and John’s lives together, she knew Jason was a mess. She couldn’t miss it no matter how complicated her life became. The tabloids and magazines were plastered with stories of him and she could hardly turn on the TV without finding him on one channel or another.

She also knew that it was probably because of her. Or because Jason had discovered she was married. Why else would it have started almost on the very day she’d seen him and Cody?

At least it was just alcohol and not going crazy with girls or other drugs. That was one good thing. It was hard enough to know he’d become a hard core drinker without having to watch the other as well.

In all honesty, she was too busy to let it overcome her like it probably would have. Kennen, who was now six months old, had learned to crawl and get into everything in sight, and Kate was eternally grateful for Amber’s help with him while she struggled to put out all the other brush fires she was up against. She became more grateful than ever before for the blessing of prayer. She had begun to know that it and the help it brought were the only things holding her life together right now. Maybe in a way, all the issues were a blessing that kept her mind from lingering on Jason after all these months, but there were still nights that he haunted her after she lay down and before she got to sleep.

John’s children and ex wife had begun to fight her at every step of the way over the disposition of John’s wealth and several times she had been very grateful she’d hired the security. They’d finally figured out John was dying and that he was leaving everything to the university and things had gotten ugly fast. For some reason, they figured it was all Kate’s doing and they were set on removing her from the picture any way they could, including simply showing up and threatening to harm her if she didn’t leave John’s home immediately. Thank goodness the legal steps John had taken before losing his business acumen had been able to contain their efforts so far.

Both of John’s Austin restaurants had been purchased as well as the one in Amarillo and the funds were settled into the foundation trust, which made her job of oversight easier, but John himself was fading unbelievably fast.

Sometimes the only one Kate was sure he knew was Kennen. The two were still fairly inseparable even though John now struggled to manage the wiggly baby. Kate or Amber had to be right beside him whenever he spent time with Kennen in order to insure that both of them stayed safe. John’s pain had to be managed constantly with any number of medications, most of which were heavy narcotics. There was nothing else that would touch the kind of pain he was in. But that level of being drugged brought on even more disorientation than just the tumor was causing, which was certainly enough.

Moreover, physically, he was experiencing other struggles than just the pain and loss of faculties. The tumor was beginning to affect his basic needs like breathing and heart function as well. Kate struggled through the days knowing that the man she had come to not only admire, but love dearly as a true friend, was in the last stage of this earthly estate.

John’s attorney and accountant now handled all of his affairs except the actual management of the remaining restaurants that Kate continued to monitor, and she had become less and less involved with his businesses and more and more involved in keeping him as comfortable as possible. His doctors had ordered home hospice care now to help her understand what was happening and how she could best help him.

Every once in a while, Kate would wonder what she was going to do after all of this was over, but she didn’t have much time to worry about that. She had her hands thoroughly full.

One night, when it was just her and John and Kennen alone in the TV room, Kate sat down next to him on the couch and picked up his now sadly feeble hand. He gave a gentle squeeze without picking up his head from where it rested against the back of the seat and in a moment of rare lucidity said softly, “We’re about there, aren’t we Kate?”

She stroked the hand she held and nodded. ‘I’m afraid so, John. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been good to me. Thank you. It was a lot to ask someone to help you die, but you didn’t shy away. I’m grateful for that.”

“You deserved it, John. You didn’t shy away from helping me either. Or any number of others. You’re a good man, John. I’m sure God has a wonderful place for you. He must have definitely needed you to take you this young.”

“I suppose so. I always wonder why me and at this time. I don’t understand, but I trust Him.”

Tears welled into Kate’s eyes and she said, “That’s the big key to this life isn’t it, John? Knowing He’s there and then obeying. Even when we’re not sure why.”

He sighed tiredly. “I believe it must be.” He was quiet for several minutes and then surprised her by saying, “Kate, will you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“Will you promise me that if you ever feel like God wants you to go back to Jason, you’ll do it? No matter how long it’s been?”

She hesitated in surprise and then agreed. “Yes, John. I promise. Why do you ask that?”

“Because, Kennen needs him.” His answer was simple and sincere and it cut Kate to the heart.

They sat there in silence, each busy with their own thoughts and Kate tried to establish for the ten thousandth time in the last eighteen months if she’d been right to leave and not tell Jason about the baby. Every time she’d questioned this, she’d always come back to yes, she’d truly felt like that was what she’d been supposed to do and she’d been comforted.

Today, on this couch with John by her side and Kennen climbing at her knee, for the first time, that comfort didn’t come. For the first time, keeping this child from Jason didn’t feel like what God wanted her to do. Had she been wrong? Or had something changed? She didn’t know the answers. All she knew was she was doing the best she could do to do what she felt was right. She could do no more. And who was to say why things turned out the way they do? Only God himself.

                                          ***

Cody was at a loose end. Jason’s crazed energy on stage, not to mention his massive share of the press, however scandalized it was, increased their popularity exponentially. Add to that Jason’s insane creativity as he wrote songs when he was so troubled, and it led to an unbelievable burst of new hits that had them touring like mad and raking in the money, but Cody feared it was all going to end in flames when Jason finally hit the bottom in a blazing ball of fire. He couldn’t keep this up and everyone knew it. Cody just didn’t know how to save him.

He spoke to Jason’s parents and asked if he could ever get Jason to admit he needed help if they would support him in checking him into someplace with padded walls and a straight jacket. It hadn’t been a very serious way of putting it, but they knew exactly what he meant and agreed to it readily. They knew as well as he did that Jason was killing himself.

The funny thing about all of it was that since that day in his kitchen when he’d punched Jason and broken his finger, Cody hadn’t been able to touch the stuff. Not a drop. He was a certified t-totaller and frankly, the friends who had always known him thought he’d gone as off the deep end as Jason. Not only that, but the womanizer he’d been was missing in action as well. Somehow, it wasn’t nearly so entertaining to engage in meaningless relationships since seeing what Kate’s marriage had done to his best friend.

It was a good thing he was cold sober, because Jason definitely needed a designated driver these days. Now Cody went out to the bars and clubs just to make sure Jason made it home in one piece.

Chapter 19

John died on a rainy Tuesday in December. At the end, his body failed fast and Kate had been surprised both by how quickly he went and how much his passing hurt those around him. Even baby Kennen missed him desperately. He’d been just her boss and friend when she’d accepted this arrangement. He was more special to her than she could put into words by the time he accepted his final one.

She’d never fallen in love with him. Never even close. Theirs hadn’t been a romantic relationship, but it had been one full of mutual respect.

With Amber’s help, Kate made it through the funeral arrangements John had requested and then began the final process of settling his affairs. All of the restaurants accept the one in Tulsa had sold and the scholarship foundation was up and running and helping smart kids who otherwise wouldn’t have been able to attend college to go on to hopefully achieve more of their potential, thanks to John Garland’s generosity.

John’s ex and children were still fuming, but Kate hardly noticed. She was still too hurt by John’s passing to even care what they did anymore.

She and Amber sorted through the stuff in John’s house and after setting aside a handful of things she thought his children might honestly treasure some day, she sent them to them and then arranged for an estate auction company to come in and sell the rest and then listed the house. The proceeds from it would go to John’s foundation as well.

She saved a couple of small things she knew his kids wouldn’t want to give to Kennen. Nothing valuable. Just things she felt demonstrated John’s strength of character. His Bible and his journal and some other items. She didn’t doubt that someday when he was old enough to understand, Kennen would treasure these glimpses into the life of the man who had loved him so deeply for such a short time.

Mark agreed to take John’s dog because Kate wasn’t sure where she was going to be, and slowly, as the house was cleared and things packed, the life of John Garland was being carefully boxed up and sold off. If it hadn’t been for that marvelous foundation, the whole process would have broken Kate’s heart almost as much as his death had.

Finally, the Tulsa location sold and Kate made the final arrangements for the change of ownership and then met one last time with Mark and the attorney to close out John’s affairs. It was with a somber air that they began that meeting. John had been a great man and a friend to all of them and Kate’s heart was incredibly heavy with the loss.

She was absolutely blindsided when the attorney slid the deed to the Tulsa restaurant across the table to her and followed that with the title to her Mercedes and some paperwork that detailed the trust John had put in place for Kennen to receive when he was twenty-five. He’d paid her well, on top of her living expenses and she’d had no idea he intended to leave them part of his legacy as well. This was the final straw and she broke down and cried like a baby. He hadn’t needed to do this. Letting her work alongside him for the duration had been more than enough. He’d been an amazing friend and mentor.

She walked out of that office both sad and amazed. She hadn’t really had time to plan what she was going to do next. Apparently John had helped her decide after all.

After a tearful farewell to Amber, Kate put Kennen into his car seat and then took the rest of her things and her sad heart and this time, she headed for the Oklahoma state line, praying as she drove, “Father, help me to make a new start out there, please. I’ve learned so much from John. Help me to build on that and make a stable home for my son.”

                                          ***

The solution to Jason’s drinking binge, when it finally came, was far more simple than Cody had ever dreamed and he was almost kicking himself that he hadn’t realized it several months sooner. One night as he dragged a mean and drunk Jason into his Jeep, he said sadly, half to himself, “Geez, Kate would be so disappointed, Jason. She’d take one look at you and know she’d made the right decision to go. She probably knows she was right to leave, but I’ll bet her heart is breaking seeing what you’re doing to yourself. She thought you were the strongest charactered man on the planet.”

That’s all he said. And in truth, he didn’t realize for a couple of days that Jason had even understood what he’d said. But when he stopped by to get him to meet the tour bus two days later, Jason opened the door with clear, bright emerald eyes for the first time in months. Cody just looked at him, stunned. And then the two friends who had been friends forever embraced as Cody said, “Welcome back, dude! I’ve missed you.”