Faithfully (5 page)

             
“I’ll get with Daryl and my dad after school and see what I can work out. I’m not making promises, but I will do my best.” I rolled over and kissed him before bolting for the shower. I took an extra-long shower as my mind was figuring out the perfect time and way to tell Alex. It was already Tuesday, so I wasn’t left with a lot of time. I figured I had no choice but to call Sam and ask for help out of this mess.

             
When I got out of the shower, I heard the girls and Alex in the hall. I knew I was behind schedule today, but I wasn’t that concerned about it. I quickly dried my hair until it was slightly damp and put my hair in a loose braid. I put on a lot of concealer to hide the dark bags under my eyes and a little bit of eye shadow, powder, and lip-gloss. When I exited the bathroom, both girls were in a heap laughing on the hallway floor. Alex was above them, laughing along. I must have missed something while I was in my extra-long shower. I stood there staring at them, and when they looked at me they all immediately tried to stop laughing and put on serious faces. This only made me laugh.

             
The girls got up and gave me a morning kiss before heading to their rooms to get dressed. I walked into mine to do the same and Alex headed down stairs to get breakfast ready. When I got downstairs it was just Alex and me, since the girls were still getting dressed. Alex handed me a bagel with cream cheese, but I didn’t feel up to eating it. I passed, telling him I was running late and needed to get going. I doubled checked with him and the girls to make sure they were good before I headed out the door to school.

             
When I pulled into the parking lot at school, I quickly sent Sam a text.

             
Hey, I’m in a panic. We will be in LA to visit this weekend, not for fun, to see Johnny. Yep, panicked, call me after school.

             
After I hit send, I quickly got out of the car and headed for the building. Once I was inside and busy with my daily routine, outside things always seemed to slip away. It wasn’t until lunch when I checked my phone that I saw a text from Sam.

             
Fuck, I’ll call Johnny and see what he intends to do, don’t panic yet, but to be honest, think of how you are going to bring it up. I’ll call you later. XO Sam

             
My stomach returned to knots, and I knew I had only a few days to handle this. I had to man up. I got myself into this mess with a little help from Steve.

             
When the bell rang and I was exiting my classroom to walk my class to the bus, I saw Alex in the area for pick up. He wasn’t in running clothes, and looked pretty sexy in jeans, deck shoes, and a navy cable sweater. When I got my class on the bus, I walked over to see what he was doing.

             
“Hey, I thought we could skip the run today. Since we leave Thursday and won’t see the girls for a few days, I thought maybe I’d grab them and help them with their homework, and you can take care of whatever things you need to so we can head out after school on Thursday.” I loved how he was always thinking of everyone. He was not a dad, but the instincts seemed to come to him naturally.

             
“That sounds perfect. I will head into the office now, take care of the sub paperwork, and then head over to the pub to talk to Daryl. I’ll pick up food there. Maybe we can veg out with the girls tonight and picnic in the living room.”

             
“Great minds think alike. I bought them the movie Frozen today since we weren’t allowed to see it at the theater.” Alex winked.

             
He knew it wasn’t about not being allowed, but that the girls had failed to keep their room clean. I didn’t require them to do anything else in the house except keep their rooms clean. I was making a point. If they cannot do their one job, they would not be rewarded or allowed to do fun activities. It has worked, because the rooms are now always clean. I’m sure Alex being home all day helps them cheat a bit.

             
Before I could respond, the twins were bolting across the gym. Jasmine immediately grabbed me around the waist as Josie grabbed Alex around the leg. Lily wasn’t too far behind, but she wasn’t walking too fast to get to us.

“
Hey, bud, what’s the matter?”

             
“I have a ton of homework.” Lily never had homework. She was always good about getting it done in class.

             
“Really?” I was shocked, and I knew it came across in my voice.

             
“Yes, I helped Shawn do his math and spelling because he never gets it done, and his mom won’t help so I did. I didn’t have time to start on mine.” Lily was leaning into Alex as she spoke to me.

             
“Well, you are lucky, because Alex is going to take you guys home to do homework, and then I’ll be home with dinner and Alex is spoiling you with a surprise.”

             
Lily immediately perked up, because unlike me she loved surprises.

             
Alex leaned over and kissed Lily on the head. “I’m good at math, but I can’t spell, so I won’t be much help there.”

             
Lily giggled. “Alex, they are second grade spelling words, so you better be able to spell them. I only have to put them into sentences.”

             
“Well then, I should be able to handle it. Let your mom get her errands done so she can get us food, because I’m starving.” Alex leaned over to give me a kiss, but I put my hand on his chest to stop him. I was at work, and there were students and parents around, so I thought it would just look tacky. Alex quickly pulled back. “Just so you know, you owe me an extra one later.” He winked. “Come on, ladies, we have work to do. Good thing I have milk and brownies waiting for you at home.”

             
They turned to walk out the door, and I heard Josie ask Alex, “Your home or our home, or is our home your home now?” I started to laugh as I walked into the office to line up a substitute for Friday.

~5~

             
When I left the office, it was official that I would be on a plane to LA Thursday after school, and I still had to tell Alex what happened in Portland. I had to do it that night after we put the girls to bed. I knew he would be mad, and I wasn’t sure if he would want to talk to me after or even make the trip to LA to see Johnny. I was becoming mad at Steve for asking me to keep it a secret, but it ultimately came down to me and my choice to lie.

             
I went back to my room and started to pull a few papers and get some things started for the next day and for Friday. I was glad it was a Friday that I was off. It was an easier day with gym and computers, so there was less planning I had to do for a substitute. I was done finally a little after four, so I grabbed my things and headed for the car. When I climbed in I called Sam.

             
“Hello, sis.” Sam was always so cheery. Some days it was just plain annoying, like now.

             
“Sis? Well, it’s a step up from bitch.” Sam was good at greeting me with that term too, though never in a mean way, but instead playful.

             
“I wanted to answer with a big fat I told you so, but thought I would save it for later in the conversation.”

             
“Wow, later as in the second sentence. I appreciate that.” 

Sam was the only one who did not agree with me not telling Alex the truth
, and I was now positive I would be hearing crap from her for a while over this mess. The fact that she was straightforward and told you how it was no matter what the circumstance was not going to help. I was preparing myself for this mental beat down.

             
“Where would you like me to start? How about back in August when I told you this whole lie you fabricated with the help of Steve was a bad idea?”

             
I quickly interrupted. “Well, technically, I came up with the story. Steve just strongly suggested I lie to keep Alex from killing Johnny.” 

             
“That was your first mistake. You should never listen to boys. Your second mistake was not listening to me. So tell me, Abrianna, how do you plan to fix this mess?”

             
“Honestly, I don’t think I can. I’m just going to have to tell your brother I’m a big fat liar. I’m a fucking hypocrite. I bitch to him about how I hate being lied to and here I am sitting on a huge lie. He’s going to stop talking to me. He will probably sell the house and move back to LA.” I was starting to ramble.

             
“Okay, drama queen, slow down a minute. He won’t sell the house, he loves that place. Do you know how much money he put into renovations to winterize it and turn the guest house into a recording studio? He won’t sell the house.” Her response was not making me feel better. “He is a very forgiving person. Seriously, I have wrecked at least three…wait, no, four of his cars, and each time he told me I will never touch another one, and by the next day I’m behind the wheel.”

             
“Stop. Obviously we know I fucked up, so how am I going to tell him?” This was the area I was struggling with.

             
“As much as I try not to picture this because I think it’s gross thinking of you and my brother, but tell him during sex.” We both immediately started to laugh. If all else failed, I might have to do that, but I was not going to say that to Sam. “Seriously though, it has to be done tonight, because if you do it tomorrow he won’t have time to calm down and get on the plane Thursday.”

             
I was starting to feel the pressure and the weight of all this. “Really, is it that big of a deal anymore? I mean, the only reason I lied was so Alex would help Steve get Johnny clean. Now Johnny is clean and everyone is good, right?”

             
“Are you saying this to feel better about everything? Because yes, everyone is better, but you lied, Johnny hit you, and Alex is a possessive male who will want to kill Johnny months after the fact.”

             
“Johnny has to know Alex doesn’t know what happened, so why tell him now? Why bring it up? I don’t get it.” I didn’t really understand the reason to confront the issue now or bring it up again. I guess I thought it was dead and buried.

             
I pulled into the pub parking lot and sat in the car to finish the conversation. “I talked to him today, and it is part of the steps to getting clean or staying clean. He said he was worried the guilt of doing it would eat at him and make him start drinking again. He’s facing his demons and his past while trying to make things right. I totally understand and I think you do too, but don’t want to admit it at the moment.”

             
“No, I do get it and it makes sense. I just wish I wasn’t in this situation. I know I did it to myself.” I was frustrated and angry with myself.

             
“I have to go, but before I do, did you like when I called you sis? I know deep down you do, so just marry him already. Everyone knows it is going to happen. Christ, E! News has even brought it up.” I loved Sam and her straightforward ways, but I honestly was in no mood to talk about this right now. 

             
“First, he is not going to want to marry me after I drop this on him, and second, if you want to discuss this with me, I want a margarita pitcher and sun waiting for me when I get off the plane.”

             
“Deal! Now unweave this web you have woven and I’ll see you in a few days. If it gets bad call me, I’ll be here, and if you are nice I’ll just listen and not speak.” 

             
“I don’t think you could be quiet if your life depended on it. Bye!” We both hung up and I exited the car. My conversation was supposed to make me feel less nervous, but all Sam did was make me feel more nervous about the upcoming conversation.

             
I walked in the pub and saw Daryl behind the bar. He was washing glasses. I sat at a stool at the end of the bar and waited for him to come over.

             
“Life must be pretty shitty if you are bellied up to the bar on a school night.” Daryl liked to give me shit, and usually I gave it right back.

             
“No, I need a favor. I can’t work Friday. Do you think you could get Linda and Emily to cover for me? I’d call, but they seem to like you,” I said with a wink. Daryl was good looking, and girls always seemed to come in to see him. The few girls that worked there liked working with him as well.

             
“Oh, I suppose, and if they say no, should I just bat my pretty little eyes too?” Daryl batted his eyes and smiled.

             
“Whatever works. I just won’t be in town and I don’t want my dad coming in. He is working way too much these days.” It was true. I knew he was in the office now, and I would have to pop in and see him in a second.

             
“He has, but it has been busy, with people want a glimpse of you and or the rocker. Do you know how many calls we take a day asking if you still work here and what nights?” I was shocked. I knew my dad said it was busy and people were coming in hoping to see Alex, but I didn’t realize I was a part of it either. “I started telling people you stopped because I know Fridays will turn into a circus.”

He was right
. Friday was our local night for dinners, and now that it was becoming crazy a lot of locals stopped coming in altogether because of it. I was beginning to think that maybe I should stop working, because it seemed to be causing more harm than good lately.

             
“Be honest with me. Should I just stay away for a while?” I knew Daryl long enough to know that he would be honest and not tell me what I wanted to hear.

             
“Truthfully, I love working with you. You are probably one of the hardest workers here besides your old man, but it’s getting ridiculous. I know you don’t pay attention, but the amount of pictures taken of you on camera phones every Friday is fucked up. You seem oblivious, but it’s annoying. If you want to keep working, I’ll keep working with you. I probably make more the nights you work anyways because of your following.” He was right. I wasn’t making things any easier on my dad by staying. If anything, I was allowing things to get crazier.

             
“Thank you for being honest. See if you can get them to cover Friday and I’ll go talk to my dad about getting them added to the schedule permanently.” I got off the stool and felt a little defeated. I always loved working in the pub. It wasn’t so much the working but catching up with the locals and seeing people I didn’t always see on a regular basis. I felt a little heartbroken, but my being there was driving the locals away and making it crazy.

             
I walked into the office as my dad was going over books. “Hey, dad, do you have a minute?” I walked over and sat in the chair next to the desk. My dad looked up and smiled, removing his glasses from his face.

             
“For you, always. Tell me, what’s on your mind? I wasn’t expecting you tonight.” I normally didn’t stop in on school nights and rarely saw my parents during the week unless they stopped by the house to see the girls. 

             
“I needed to talk to Daryl, but after talking to him I thought we should talk too.” I was feeling bad. I was hoping me being gone would help, but I knew my dad would feel he needed to be here even more.

             
“Bri, is he quitting?” My dad looked nervous.

             
“No, no, nothing like that, but I guess I am. I mean me working here is making things worse. I didn’t realize my relationship with Alex would affect so many people and your business. After talking to Daryl, I’m facing the fact that it is getting out of hand.” I rested my elbow on my dad’s desk and placed my head in my palm. My dad reached over and grabbed my free hand.

             
“Bri, when I bought this place, I was hoping to turn it into a hopping bar where people would want to go and get rowdy, but instead it turned into a friendly neighborhood pub where locals want to come after a hard day. They just want to have a few drinks and a chance to chat with people they know. I would have been happy twenty years ago going this route, but I’m old now. I don’t need the money, and I’ve slowed down.” I looked up at him. I have never seen my parents as old, but looking at him now, he seemed worn out, exhausted, and aged. I felt the guilt starting to rise.

             
“I’m so sorry, I am. I always wanted to help you because you have done so much for me, but I’m not helping. I’m making it worse. I think the best thing for me to do is stay away. Word will get out that I’m not around anymore and people will stop coming.”

             
“No, people will still come. They will come to the town hoping to see Alex or you and feel the need to still stop in, because they will think it is possible you might just happen to pop in. So you working or not working will not change anything. That is why I’m going to sell the pub at the first of the year.” I gasped. I wanted to cry. I felt like I was losing my friend or family member. “Before you even try, I will not sell it to you. I will not let you buy this place. I know you love it, but you need to be home with those girls, and this place will only tie you down. You will miss a lot of their moments growing up. Remember how much I missed, or how many birthdays you celebrated here because I couldn’t or wouldn’t leave? You are just like me and you need to be in control. I know you could never turn this place over to someone to manage if you bought it, just like I can’t. Since I can’t allow someone else to manage, I’m selling it.” I knew there was no changing his mind, because he was stubborn like me.

             
“Fine, if that is what you want, I’ll support it. Now you can spend more time with us at the beach this summer.” I looked at him with a smile, even though deep down I was heartbroken.

             
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I nodded my head in agreement.

             
“That’s fine, but you need to change the schedule and put Linda and Emily on the schedule permanently for Friday nights.”

             
“Consider it done. Now tell me about this trip to LA. I talked to Alex today and he said you were leaving Thursday. Your mom is so excited to have the girls. She has some sort of craft planned for Saturday and she’s taking them bowling on Sunday.” I was glad that my parents loved taking the girls. I never felt bad asking because they always acted like it was an honor to be asked.

             
“Dad, I screwed up. I mean, I really screwed up.” I was nervous. I didn’t want to tell my dad I was a liar or that I allowed a guy to hit me and get away with it. I was preparing myself for the disappointment that I would be facing in a few short minutes. I sat there and told him what really happened in Portland. I explained that the bruise on my face wasn’t from me face planting into a tree, but from being backhanded by Johnny. My dad’s face hardened at times, and at others softened. I explained to him why I lied and now being forced to tell the truth.

             
“I understand where you were coming from. It was from a good place, but nothing good ever comes from lying, and I know I instilled that into you as a peanut, back when you were younger than the twins.” I got that one thing from my father. Never lie and never trust someone who can or could lie to your face. I was now that person who had lied right to someone’s face. I wasn’t sure it was possible to hate myself anymore at the moment. I placed my face into the palm of my hands and didn’t want to look at my dad anymore. I was ashamed of what I had done. “You will tell Alex the truth and you will fix it. He is a good man who will forgive you. He might be mad for a while, but he will get over it. Know this, that as far as Johnny is concerned, you owe him nothing. He has no right to ask you to go out there and you don’t need to or have to.” My dad sounded mad as he spoke about Johnny.