Fairy Thief (23 page)

“
Okay, fine — you love the cow. I have to admit, it’s pretty obvious that you’re not faking here…but what do you mean ‘we’? Are you
both
in love with the cow? How is that ever going to work? Have you thought about that?”

This time, Orji did nothing to silence Saffron; he watched her intently as she spoke, then turned when she was finished with a look of complete confusion. How
did
one share a beloved cow with his brother? He glanced at Wo and Tai — they were frowning.

“
So, what’s it going to be, boys? How’s this going to work? We can’t hang around here forever, you know — you promised to help Saffron on her journey.” He dropped his chin and looked at them as if he were an inquiring professor glancing over his spectacles.

Tai scratched his head and muttered incoherently. Wo stood quietly with his shoulders down.

Tai kissed the cow on her nose and announced, “We’re taking Her with us.”

Wo awoke from his stupor and broke into joyful song.

“
No! NO. NO. NO! She’ll slow us down!” Saffron was salivating.

“
YOU are slowing us down, humanoid! You are slowing us down because you’re too stubborn to listen to us!”

“
My God! You two are morons! Idiots! We won’t get anything done with her around — you can’t realm-hop with a cow!”

“
Wah, wah, wah — shut up!”

“
Hey,” Wo sputtered, “You got to take
him!”
he pointed a shaking finger at Orji. “We just want to take our love with us too.”

Saffron kicked the tree branch in front of her. “Orji is
not
my love. And it wasn’t like he was
my
pick, or anything —
my God
!” Her face was as red as her hair.

“
Fine,” Tai yelled, “You
got to take
your god
with you — fair is fair, we take Deva.”

Saffron flung her arms around like a toppling windmill. “He is
not
my God — I didn’t say that!”

“
You don’t have to say anything….” Tai hovered off the ground and advanced on her.

Saffron white-knuckled the two branches on either side. “You’re
fairies,
aren’t you ashamed to be acting like this?”

“
Like what?” Tai hung right in front of her.

Orji couldn’t listen to any more. He took off his manure lei, dumped it unceremoniously into the reeds, then turned around and headed back to the cave. When he got there, he sat outside on a little, rock lip and watched the frogs fly around in the heliotrope sunset. After an hour or so, Saffron, the twins, and the cow paraded across the field below. He sighed.

Saffron scrambled up the rocky incline and, when she was at his feet she said, “The twins say they won’t go any farther without her.” She tossed her head in the cow’s direction. With the sunset behind her, her hair was alight with red and pink fire. Her highlights twinkled, like golden fire on a crimson red sea. Her eyes looked tired, beaten. “And I can’t get very far without the twins, so I guess we’re all one big, happy family now.” She looked sheepish. “Furthermore, we realize how much help you’ve been – what with the tree-gang thugs — and don’t want to go further without you.” She raised her eyes heavenward. “And, I want to apologize for my recent, annoying behavior.” She shrugged. “There…..”

“
Sorry!” Wo called up.

“
Sorry!” From Tai.

Orji smiled at the twins and looked back at Saffron, who stood balanced on a rock just beneath his feet. “Come up here, Fire.”

She frowned. “What…?”

“
C’mere,” he crooked his finger and gestured for her to come up on his level, “I wanna touch your hair….”

“
What?” Her cheeks colored — two perfect, red pancakes. She looked down at her silly adventure boots. “No. Stop that.”

He yelled to the boys, “Good enough! Welcome, cow; I’m sure you’ll find this group…tons of fun. Chaps, did you pick up a scent while we’ve been lollygagging here?”

Wo and Tai exchanged guilty looks. It was Wo who spoke. “He didn’t go through here.” A brush materialized in his hand — an ornate brush, detailed with gold filigree.

Saffron, who was looking at the fairy boys over her shoulder, jerked in surprise and quickly scanned the area for attackers.

Wo proceeded to groom his new girlfriend. “Deva says they haven’t had Fairy in this realm for over two hundred years. We have, by the way, caused quite a stir — the inhabitants know we’re here. They don’t know
exactly
where we are, but they’ve already grabbed their torches and pitchforks, so to speak. They are, at this moment, searching for us with murderous intent.” He placed a kiss on Deva’s nose and patted her head.

Quite clearly, Saffron saw Deva smile.

“
So that explains why you’ve just used magic — again — because there is no use in hiding it since we’ve been exposed…. But why, oh why, Mister Brilliance, did you have to use it just now? For, you see, the fairy exhaust has alerted the people of our EXACT whereabouts…and here they come!” Saffron had started her comments softly enough, but by the time she finished the sentence, she was shrieking as she watched crudely-dressed people lurch out of the trees like zombies. They most assuredly were armed for attack with axes and bows. Orji jumped to his feet, Saffron started screaming down to the boys to ‘run!’, and Tai and Wo hopped circles around Deva.

“
What are we gonna do? We can’t drag her up the side of the mountain!” Wo started running for the mountain base. He shouted for Deva to run with him.

She mooed disconsolantly and galumped after him.

“
Stop, Wo – STOP!” Tai flew in the air and landed in front of Deva and Wo. They both crashed into him. Tai hopped up and yipped as he watched the gangly inhabitants closing in. “We can make her smaller – put her in our pockts.”

Wo screeched, “I don’t know what that will do to her! Only we alter our size!”

Tai grrrrrrd, “We can’t discuss this here. Fine, help me carry her up the damn mountain.”

They groaned and strained and almost dropped her, but finally got Deva up to the narrow slit in the cave wall.

“
Ohhhhhhhhhh! She’ll never get through
that
!”

Tai shoved her from behind. “Go, Deva! You can do it! Oomph. Gooooo!” Wo shoved too, and they managed to get her in — just barely.

Saffron, Orji, and the boys grabbed their packs off the floor. Wo stuffed some treasures in his bag. From this realm, he had collected a purple rock, a sundried spotted frog, and a handful of orange grass. They headed for the back of the cave and the portal. As soon as they got there, fiery arrows started pouring in from the outside.

Wo warned Saffron with a stern finger, “Don’t presume you’re dead and drop if an arrow hits you — it will take us forever to get you to come ‘round, and we don’t have that kind of time. We have to remember, Deva is still flesh and blood, and we don’t want one, tiny hair on her pretty head to be harmed in any way.”

They stood by the wall that they had shot out of, but this time they did not feel the portal pulling them. They stepped closer to the wall and still, no pull. The hole was there, they could see it, like a puzzle that is clear only when you’ve been shown the answer — but it was quiet and as energy-less as any other cave hole. One by one, they climbed into the tunnel. Orji went first, then Saffron, Tai, and Wo.

Deva bellowed like a laboring musk ox.

“
Wait!” Wo cried, “She doesn’t fit in the hole!” Wo looked back at Deva. He momentarily considered shoving her in.

“
Oh, here we go.” Saffron muttered as she turned her head in the darkness and peered behind her. “I told you this was a stupid idea!”

Her words floated down the tunnel. Tai and Wo pulled ugly faces and mimicked her without a sound.

Tai and Wo climbed back out of the tunnel. Tai put a hand on Wo’s shoulder. “We have to do it.”

Wo chewed on his thumbnail and looked forlornly at his love. “But, what if she gets hurt? What if it doesn’t work right on her?”

Tai blinked. “We have to do it, Wo.”

Wo put his hand on Deva and shut his eyes.

In a pop of fairy flotsam, she was suddenly a tiny cow standing on the dusty cave floor.

Wo knelt down. “My darling, are you okay?”

Deva shifted from side to side and smiled up at him.

Wo closed his eyes and gave quiet words of thanks.

The voices of the outraged natives were coming closer.

Tai scooped Deva up, magicked a boxy pocket on the front of his lederhosen bib, and gently lowered her inside.

The exhaust from all that magic was so great, it came rolling out of the mouth of the cave like a big, dragon belch. It made the people sneeze and scratch at their eyes as they entered the cavern’s confines. But try as they might, they couldn’t identify — among the fifty or so choices — the hole in which the group had disappeared with their beautiful goddess.

Inside the tunnel, Saffron discovered she was just a wee bit claustrophobic. As she crawled the smooth, inclining floor, she tried to take her mind off the pressing darkness by annoying Orji with questions.

“
Why are we taking this tunnel again? We’ve already been to this realm. I’m not in the mood to retrace our steps. We’re not going back to that fricken’ forest, are we? What’s the point of this? Can you hear me? Isn’t there another portal we can use? Can you hear me? You have no idea what you’re doing, do you? That’s why you won’t answer me. Can you hear me?”

Orji gritted his teeth and continued to crawl. The cold stone slid under his palms. His hands moved – one, two…one, two — mechanically, one after the other. The tunnel was as smooth as marble. His knees started to ache a little, so he consciously dismissed the pain.

“
Hey, do your knees hurt?” Saffron was stalling. Her voice sounded farther down the tunnel than it did before.

“
Get over it, Saffron!” Tai was close behind her.

“
Concentrate, Saffron. Just concentrate.” But Wo was much farther behind them. He had hung back for a few moments to make sure the natives didn’t discover their tunnel.

“
Hurry up, Wo. They won’t find us now. Li said the portals have ways of camouflaging themselves. Let’s go.” He pulled on Saffron’s ankle and made her scream, which made him smile.

“
ORJI!”

Orji recognized hysteria when he heard it. “What
is
it, Saffron?”

“
Oh…thank God. I can’t see you. Why are you leading us back the same way?”

He stopped crawling and waited a couple of minutes for her to catch up. She did, finally, and as they were in complete darkness, she didn’t know he had stopped until her head bumped into his rear. She screeched again, sounding like a terrified piglet.

Orji winced as he dropped to his elbows so his large hands could cover his ears and block the piercing sound as it bounced off the confines of their quarters. Since he didn’t prepare himself, he thought he could actually feel his eardrums split. “Hello, Saffron.”

“
Orji, you scared me! Why are we stopped? Where are we
going
!”

“
We’re going to the portal, Saffron. Most portals are like street intersections. When we get to the middle of this portal, there will be a choice. We will be able to choose to travel one of four ways. We’ve already come from one, and searched another, so now we know we’ll have two choices out of four to pick from.”

Saffron pushed at his rear to get him moving. “Huh. How will you know which one we came from?”

“
I looked, Saffron. When we passed through here yesterday, I watched where we were going, so I’d know where to go when we returned.”

Saffron’s voice became edgy. “We were barreling down this tunnel, Orji — how could you possibly have paid attention to what was going on?”

“
I looked, Saffron, I looked. Trust me.”

Saffron grunted. “Well, good thing you’re driving — I have no idea what’s going on with these portals.”

Orji smiled. “You’ll learn. As we travel, things will become more obvious.”

Tai’s voice startled them. They hadn’t heard him crawl up behind Saffron. His green eyes glowed like a cat’s in the darkness. “Can we move a little faster here?”