Fail Up (7 page)
More silence. The tension hung like a soaking-wet quilt on a thin clothesline.
Now, we're on air live. I introduce my guest, highlighting his movie-making career and mentioning that he's about to release a movie starring Halle Berry.
“So, Robert, how you doing tonight?”
“Fine.”
“Thanks for coming on.”
“Uh-huh.”
“This is your fifth film now, right?”
“Yeah.”
“What was it like working with Halle Berry?”
“Great.”
I could not believe what was happening. This brother planned to sit there on the air and stoically utter one-word, monosyllabic answers. There was no way we could sustain a one-hour conversation like this.
The show was live, but we took phone calls every night. Quicker than I ever had with previous guests, I told the audience that we were going to take a commercial break, and afterward I said: “Let's take as many calls as possible for my guest, Robert Townsend.”
Thankfully, the first caller showered Townsend with love. He listed movies Townsend had made that he thoroughly enjoyed and complimented him as a pioneer in Black film.
Townsend might have been furious with me, but he wasn't going to be rude to his fans. Getting myself out of the way and letting callers drive the show were key factors in flipping a volatile script and turning lemons into lemonade. The show went reasonably well; afterward, he dressed me down again. He called BET's founder, Bob Johnson, to complain. Without the clock ticking away toward airtime, I was better able to address the situation. I wrote Townsend a letter. Even though my engineer's gaffe allowed Townsend to hear me dismiss his movie, I was responsible for speaking negatively about a guest before inviting him into my figurative house. It was a mistake.
I have seen Townsend since the interview; he's cordial when we meet. I can only hope and believe my letter and sincere apology were accepted.
Watch Your Mouth
I'm not the first and won't be the last to pay the price for a “live” microphone mistake.
Live mikes caught President Obama calling Kanye West a “jackass” and Vice President Joe Biden dropping the F-bomb when health-care legislation was passed. A few years back, during a break before appearing on a FOX News program, the Rev. Jesse Jackson made a huge faux pas when the microphone pinned to his lapel picked up his frustrated comments about wanting to castrate Obama. George W. Bush, standing before a cluster of microphones while campaigning for president, was overheard calling a
New York Times
reporter a “major league aââhole.” Evangelist Pat Robertson had egg smeared all over his face during a CNN interview when his description of a departing guest as a “homo” went out over the air.
At least my unintentional movie critique didn't have the potential of setting off a major world war as did the words of former President Ronald Reagan:
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes,” the “Great Communicator” joked during a pre-speech mike check that actually went live.
The microphone mishaps of notables (mine included) begin to pale in comparison to today's social-media-dominated society. Today, there is no “off the record.” The mike is always on. Somebody's always watching, listening, and recording. Unintentional or careless remarks can seriously compromise or derail your future. Increasingly, today's breaking news stories involve somebody's digital camcorder or cell-phone camera.
Ken Strutin, director of legal information services at the New York State Defenders Association, writes: “Embarrassing Facebook photos and regrettable MySpace statements are starting to become commonplace in presentencing reports and disposition hearings.”
Although Strutin argues that social media can also help defense attorneys win cases, the opposite effect, I maintain, applies more often.
Consider the 2007 case of student Matthew Pacelli, a 16-yearold who was arrested after posting a YouTube video of himself asking people to murder his math teacher at his Staten Island, New York, school. To add more stupid to stupid, the high school student even gave out his teacher's name and home address.
If not for video captured by mobile phones, it's doubtful that Johannes Mehserle, a white Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) police officer, would have been convicted of manslaughter. Bystander cell-phone videos of the fatal shooting of Oscar J. Grant III, an unarmed Black man lying face down on a train platform, were used to convict Mehserle.
Going to jail is an extreme outcome. The loss of dignity, friendships, jobs, and careers are the more common results.
While writing this chapter, I read a CBS
MoneyWatch.com
article emphasizing the toxic mix of social media and resulting job loss. One example cited was that of a South Carolina cop who lost his job after photos landed on Facebook of “heavily-tattooed, bikini-clad women ⦠slithering across the hood” of his police car. Another example: Kevin Colvin, an intern at Anglo Irish Bank's North American arm, skipped work, telling his boss he had to take care of a family emergency. Unfortunately, Colvin's boss happened to catch Facebook photos of his soon-to-be
ex
-employee at a Halloween Partyâdrunk and dressed in a Tinker Bell outfit. Colvin's story was reported on Gawker.com and referred to as the “Colvin Caution.”
The Social Media Minefield
As the CBS MoneyWatch.com report warned, “Social media can be a minefield for the serious professional.” However, it's not just the fact that technology makes it easy to catch us doing stupid or inappropriate things. These days, so many peopleâadults and children with no clue how it will eternally haunt their lives or professional careersâare willingly engaging in activities that may very likely go viral.
Let's start with the adults.
Captain Owen Honors, the commanding officer of the aircraft carrier Enterprise, was permanently relieved of his duties in January 2009 for “movie night” infractions. Honors produced and starred in lewd and objectionable videos he shared with more than 5,000 crew members and pilots aboard the Enterprise. The videos became public after the
Virginian-Pilot
newspaper in Norfolk posted excerpts on its Website.
According to news reports, the videos included evocative scenes of simulated masturbation, mock rectal exams, antigay slurs and demeaning satire and simulated bestiality.
“His profound lack of good judgment and professionalism while previously serving as executive officer on the Enterprise calls into question his character and completely undermines his credibility to continue to serve effectively in command,” Admiral John Harvey, head of the Navy's Fleet Forces Command, told reporters.
Lack of “good judgment” aside, Honor's videos may have never been a news item and a blow to his career had Congress not recently repealed the “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” ban, which didn't allow homosexuals to serve openly in the military.
Honors probably had no clue his cinematic contributions would go viral. But because of carelessness, the captain of a nuclear-powered carrier who, according to his commanders, performed “without incident,” has been reassigned to administrative duties.
It's important to note that Honors and the senior officers who knew of the videos and attended movie night with other crew members weren't pie-eyed kids. They were all adults acting irresponsibly.
“This is the sort of thing you'd expect from a 19-year-old recruit, but you're dealing here with a 49-year-old senior officer,” another Navy spokesman told reporters.
Now, onto the
real
children.
Back in the day, it was wrong but certainly not uncommon for young folks to go to parties, drink alcohol, abuse drugs, and engage in sexual activity. These days, the young folks are younger, the drinking and drugging are heavier, and the sex is even more casual. According to a 2005 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than half of all teens 15 to 19 years old have engaged in oral sex.
Canadian filmmaker Sharlene Azam spent four years researching the clandestine and highly sexual lives of today's teens for her documentary,
Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight
Kiss
. In an interview with ABC's
Good Morning America
, Azam said: “Oral sex is as common as kissing for teens and that casual prostitutionâbeing paid at parties to strip, give sexual favors, or have sexâis far more commonplace than once believed.”
I guess I can't close this section by telling children to act like adults, since we're all engaging in activities that seem to wind up more and more on the Internet. So all I can say is: If it's not something you can live with anybodyâand these days,
everybody
âseeing, think again.
Turn It Off, For Goodness' Sake
No matter how we shuffle the communications cards, the indisputable fact is that we are all under surveillance. And I'm not just talking about “Big Brother” or sophisticated recording devices in the sky. I'm referring to the immediate and frequently irreversible repercussions of technology in the hands of the average Joe or Jane on the street.
My failure those many years ago to recognize the fine line between public and private speech underscores why all of usâpublic figures, politicians, preachers, and everyday folkâare required to be more circumspect and exercise far more discernment in the Information Age. If we dare to ignore the personal and professional repercussions involved when unintentional or careless remarks go public, we set ourselves up for far more than Facebook boomerangs. Just ask the diplomatic professionals who have been outed in the WikiLeaks revelations. These unintended disclosures underscore the invisible line that exists between public and private speech.
I'm sure former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick had no idea that the 14,000 text messages exchanged between him and his chief of staff, Christine Beatty, would end his career. Not only did the text messages out his affair with Beatty, they also served as the foundation for a lawsuit that resulted in an $8.4 million settlement by the City of Detroit. In December 2010, federal prosecutors issued even more charges against Kilpatrick. If convicted of the new charges, which include extortion, bribery, racketeering, and filing false tax returns, Kilpatrick could spend decades in jail.
In today's rapid-fire communications arenas, we not only have got to find ways to turn the volume way down; sometimes it must simply be turned off if we are to avoid having our lives or careers destroyed by a private moment made public or a public moment gone viral through broadcast or posting over a social media site.
Be aware. Be very, very aware. Even if
TMZ
doesn't follow you around! Be ever vigilant about what you do and what you say in the presence of friends, family, colleagues, or unknowns armed with seemingly harmless recording devices. What you may consider personal opinions or private actions can become public indictments that haunt you forever.
My ordeal with Townsend came before the social media revolution. But it helped me realize the importance of the Three D'sâDiscernment, Discrimination, and “Do Unto Others ⦠”
Social media as a permanent tracker of your deeds and misdeeds can make the stepping-stones to success that much more slippery. Be it public or private, at home or at play; for your own sake, remember: You're
always
on.
M
y freshman year at Indiana University marked my foray into the
grown-up world.
After arriving at the Bloomington campus in the fall of 1982, without my parents' help or permission and no more than $50 in my pocket, it was clear that I had to fend for myself. By the grace of God and the intervention of a few benevolent souls, I managed to get enrolled, find financial aid at the last minute, get assigned to a dorm, and secure a work-study job.