Fade to Red (12 page)

The way he was being so kind to her despite her coldness made her feel like such a bitch. She’d
never
treated anyone the way she’d treated him.
Ever.
She’d be ashamed of herself if she didn’t know he deserved every bit of it. Still, it was hard when he was acting so nice. That was just it, he was probably acting. She’d never wanted to see him again, and here she was, behaving like someone she didn’t recognize. It was vital—she had to protect her heart from ever cracking even a tiny bit to Beckham Woods.

“Make it look like you want him more than life!” Anthony yelled at her.

Beckham smirked at her as she stared into his eyes.

“Do you, Roxie? Do you want me more than life?” he whispered.

He looked too serious for how playful his voice sounded. Roxie rolled her eyes at him and he gripped her tighter. Her head fell back and her mouth parted, as his hands skimmed the sides of her body, touching just the edges of where she really wanted him to touch her.

“Yes! Yes!” Anthony purred.

Of course, they were playing a part. But it took every ounce of willpower to not get caught up in the way her body reacted to his. It felt entirely too real.

She missed the beauty of San Diego. L.A. felt like a different world at times. She needed the trip home. Time to breathe. But the time away was just a tease. It went by so fast. Roxie, Leo, and Chloe spent every second with Joey, watching movies, going to the beach, and catching up on all the time they’d missed with him. Her parents walked around with pleased peacock posture, so happy to have all the littles back in the roost. Roxie ate whatever she wanted and besides going on one early morning jog, she barely moved. Anthony was going to kill her. On the drive back to L.A., she knew she’d have hell to pay the next morning. It was worth it. When they got home, she stretched out on the bed with Leo cuddled up to her, and they took a long nap together.

Roxie and Chloe brought more clothes from home this time, so it took longer to unpack than it had to pack. Leo played a video game while Roxie started a load of laundry.

The phone rang when she walked into the kitchen. She jumped and Leo, practically on her heels, jumped too. He’d had undivided attention from every adult for days and was feeling the letdown of getting back to normal.

She gave him a kiss on the forehead and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Rox. How was your trip? It’s Beckham…”

He had never called her before, but sounded so nonchalant, she tried to sound the same.

“Hi! Um, great. Did you go home too? Or, where did-?”

“Sierra and I went to my mom’s. Anthony came over too … and David. The Sterlings came over for dessert. My mom wants to steal Journey.”

“I bet!” Roxie laughed and then wasn’t sure what to say next.

The clock ticked loudly in the kitchen as the silence stretched out between them.

“I missed you,” he said quietly.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“You missed being abused?” she asked.

He laughed. “I guess I must have,” he admitted.

“
Professional
,” she reminded him.

“I missed
professionally
feeling your body next to mine.”

She could hear the smile in his voice—the voice that dripped with seduction, reminding her of why he made millions. She cringed at how excited it made her to hear him saying those things to her. Hated knowing that she’d missed him too.

“I’m hanging up now.” Roxie tried to sound angry, but knew she wasn’t pulling it off very well.

Rehearsals were about as hard as Roxie had imagined they would be, but Anthony seemed to be extra forgiving. His reconciliation with David must have helped because, as hard as he tried, he just couldn’t seem to get agitated at any of them. It was a huge contrast to the week before Christmas.

When Roxie took off her sweatshirt to start rehearsals, Brooke lifted her eyes and pointed to Roxie’s behind. “Looks like you grew another ass while you were gone, Roxie.”

Roxie nodded. “Nice one, Brooke. Thanks.” She gave an extra little booty jiggle in Brooke’s direction and walked to where everyone else was gathered. No one else ever seemed to hear when Brooke decided to pounce, so it was a waste of time to do anything other than ignore her.

The money she was making was all that pushed Roxie. And being able to dance. Every day after rehearsal, it didn’t matter how exhausted and sore she was, she practically sailed home, so content to be doing exactly what she’d dreamed of her whole life. She knew she had already improved a thousand times since they began rehearsals, which was hugely gratifying. The only thing that could make this any better was if it weren’t with Beckham. But she had a feeling he was also what made it so good…

On New Year’s Eve, Beckham threw a huge party for everyone involved in the tour, including their significant others. When he invited everyone, he said he’d considered giving everyone a break from each other, but they were becoming a cohesive group and ringing in the year together would solidify that even more. Beckham had rented out a club that Roxie had seen once in
People
magazine. She didn’t know if she’d ever get used this craziness.

Chloe talked Roxie into going. She wanted to stay home with Leo, but Chloe argued with her, saying Leo would be asleep by 8:30 anyway. Like clockwork, he was out, so Roxie went to the party.

A waiter went by with a tray of drinks. Roxie grabbed one and downed it. She didn’t know why she felt on edge, but she wanted to shake it, and fast. She grabbed another drink and took her time with this one, watching everyone dance.

Brooke and Beckham caught her attention. He was holding her hand and twirling her out and she came back in with a vengeance, grinding up against him. He stepped back, putting space between them, and it made Roxie smile. He usually looked for every opportunity to be as close as he possibly could when they danced together.

“He
never
looks like he wants to get away from you,” Sparrow whispered in her ear.

Roxie looked over and smiled at Sparrow, then shook her head. “He’s good at what he does,” she said.

Sparrow’s eyes gleamed as she smiled bigger. “You’re beautiful, Roxie. And nice, smart, sexy … trust me, he notices.”

“Hey, you’re not playing matchmaker, are you? Nuh-uh, don’t get any ideas. Not interested.” Roxie took another gulp of her drink. “Where’s Ian?”

Sparrow made a face. “He’s changing Journey and himself. She had a blow-out and managed to ruin both of their outfits. Thankfully, Anthony found a shirt for him to borrow.”

Roxie pressed her lips together, but still busted up. “I can’t believe I missed that!”

Just then Ian walked toward them wearing a tight, short-sleeve denim cowboy shirt. Roxie and Sparrow lost it all over again. Roxie wiped her eyes as Ian reached them. He held Journey facing out, so she could see everything. Her feet kicked happily.

“Well howdy, Partner.” Sparrow could hardly get the words out.

Ian eyed the two of them and his lip quirked up to one side. He shook his head and looked down at Journey.

“You’re all happy now, aren’t you, pumpkin?” She looked up at him and gave him a dimpled grin. “Yeah,” he cooed at her. “I’d feel good too if I’d gotten rid of more than double my body weight in POO.”

Journey giggled and bounced up and down. When she saw her mom and Roxie laughing, she laughed and bounced harder.

Anthony asked Sparrow to dance, and Ian and Roxie chatted for a few minutes while she finished her drink. She moved toward the dance floor, unable to stay away for too long, ever. Justin and Vanessa were slow dancing and oblivious to everyone else. They were up and down, their lust and disgust for each other seesawing back and forth every day. Today appeared to be up for them. Brad and Shelton seemed to only have eyes for each other too.

Great. The tour is gonna be one huge hook-up,
she thought
.
She wondered if Brooke and Beckham might be a possibility … if they’d ever had any of the intense moments she’d had with him. It didn’t matter; in fact, it might even help her to get past these confusing thoughts she kept having about him if he’d focus on someone else. Shoving Beckham out of her mind, she closed her eyes and began to move.

She didn’t even open her eyes when she felt his hand in hers. He brought her body flush with his and they moved without any thought. She felt his lips brush against her neck and then by her ear.

He whispered, “I don’t want to dance with anyone but you.”

She didn’t say a word, just allowed her movements to say all that needed to be said.

Just a few days after the New Year, the buses rolled out of the warehouse parking lot long before the sun came up. Headed to northern California, they were officially on the road.

“Think you can live with me on this bus the whole tour?” Beckham asked Sierra.

“Ugh. I don’t know,” Sierra groaned. “It’s a long time.

Beckham threw a pillow at her. “C’mon. You love me.”

She smiled. “I
am
glad to not be cramped with people I don’t know. Thank you for that.” She looked around. “And this is a pretty sweet bus.” She propped her feet up on the couch. “You’ve done really well for yourself, little brother.”

He sat down across from her and waited for a jibe to come.

It didn’t.

“You sure you’re ready to give all this up?” she whispered.

He’d told her to be careful of what she said, with the bus driver in close range. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him exactly, but he’d learned the hard way that people could be bought fairly easily for a story. Just one more thing he was tired of … never knowing which one of his ‘friends’ would spill their guts to a gossip magazine.

“I … yeah. I think so.”

There was something about this tour that already seemed different, though. He felt more grounded, less anxious. He didn’t know if it was being around the most laid-back man he’d ever been around—Ian—or if it was the way the songs had all become new again. Roxie made him feel…

He searched for the word in his mind—what did she make him feel?—and realized it was simply that she made him feel at all. After years of numbing his feelings, his emotions were waking up, and it was as if he was trying to walk on feet that had fallen asleep. He was a prickly, stumbling mess, but it still felt better than being dead.

He turned the conversation to non-threatening topics and they chatted all the way to San Jose. It was always a little rough the first few days of the tour, getting into the swing of things, but he’d worked with the same crew the last three tours, so he had no worries. They were scheduled to eat a late lunch and then everyone would do a quick soundcheck. By next week, someone else would do the soundcheck for him and he would mostly be free during the day.

Roxie was the first one Beckham saw when he went to eat.

“Come sit with me,” he said before he could stop himself.

“Yeah, but you’re … Beckham Woods.” She put a shaking hand to her mouth and looked at him with awed eyes.

Beckham leaned in closer and gave her a cocky smile. “Did you just now notice that?”

“Maybe.” Roxie smirked.

She looked at the tables filling up around them. It was a large room to fit the camera crew, lights crew, stagehands, dancers, backup singers…

“Do you even know who all these people are?” she whispered. “Some I’ve never even seen before today!”

“Of course I do!”

“Are they gonna think it’s weird that we’re sitting together? Am I taking someone’s seat? It is kinda weird, right? Why
are
you being so nice to me?” She rambled and then clamped her hand over her mouth and turned those piercing eyes on him until he squirmed.

“I like you, okay?”

“You
like
me?” Roxie’s nose crinkled up.

“Yes. I do.” He tried to look in her eyes, but couldn’t stop looking at her mouth.

“You don’t know me, and I’ve been a bit spiteful to you,” she said.

“Oh, I got that. You’re a kitten with claws,” he teased softly. “But I think it’s an act.” He held up his hand when she started to argue. “Sparrow loves you, and I’ve come to think she’s a very wise person.”

“Sparrow loves everyone,” Roxie said, smiling fondly.

“No … she … wouldn’t if you were … cruel,” he stuttered. “I see you with everyone else and even though you’re sassy, you’re one of the nicest people here. I like
all
of what I know so far.”

She played with her ear lobe and looked almost shy. “How can you say I’m nice after the way I’ve treated you?” She shook her head. “An act, huh? Interesting.”

“Exactly,” he laughed, “you’re a mystery that I want to solve.”

“What fun would that be? A mystery is only fun because of the unknown. Once you figure it out, you’ll be on to other mysteries.”

He nodded. “I can see where you’d think that. But here’s the deal, Roxie,” he leaned in closer to her, “and let’s just stop talking ‘hypothetically’ about mysteries here … I want to know
you
. Period. The fact that you’re
mysterious
doesn’t make me want to know you more or less; in fact, it’s just getting in my way at the moment.”

She blinked fast and looked away. Her mouth curved just slightly, like she was holding back a grin.