Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2) (37 page)

I lifted my hands as something deep inside of me yelled at me to stop. My brain screamed at me, but I couldn’t focus through the fear
. The response that I had been trained to display over the past two months far too strong in me now.

Somehow
I knew I had seen this scene before.

I aimed to kill.

My magic flew away from me and Dramin stepped in front of Ryland as he did his best to shield him. I knew why my mind had been screaming.

I had seen this before.

And now I knew where.

The screaming of everyone in the room intensified
, as did Ilyan’s magic running through me. I was able to glance once at Dramin’s slow decent to the floor before Ilyan’s magic put me to sleep.

Thirty-Five

I
didn’t know what had woken me. I didn’t even know where I was. I heard the thump of a knock, the whisper of voices and my mind kicked into overdrive. I spun out of the bed, landing on the floor as quietly as I could, my eyes darting around the unfamiliar space.

Several large stone arches sat to the left of the king sized bed I had been laid in, each one opening to a beautiful star filled sky.
I should have been able to bask in the beauty, the safety that this mysterious place was offering me, but I couldn’t convince my mind of that.

My heart
still beat erratically, my eyes darting around. This space was too open. I was too exposed here. Pain could find me.

There were two doors,
both rounded arches covered by large wooden slabs. I could hear voices behind one, so I moved to the other, holding my breath in case I was heard. I slipped behind the other door, my eyes burning at the dim blue light that filled the space.

Sl
owly my eyes adjusted. A modern bathroom built out of porcelain and glass gleamed against the light. I looked around for another way out but found nothing. I was trapped in this mysterious room.

You’re safe. Nothing is going to get you.

I tried to convince myself of it, even though I wasn’t quite sure where it had come from. The blood bathed rooms of Cail’s mind were still so fresh in my consciousness. The torture, the running, the fear. But still, I could see Ilyan’s face as he rescued me. And Dramin...

I slid myself between the toilet and the sink
. The door on the other side of the room creaked, the voices from the hall becoming audible.

“I can’t do everything, Ilyan. Ovailia is already eyeing
me, and I am not sure how much I can do for Dramin.” Thom’s voice was loud with desperation. The impact of the sound shook through me and I twitched, my hands flying up to tangle in my hair.

“
We need him, Thom. The faster we know if he is going to pull through, the better. I cannot produce the Black Water and Joclyn will be needing some very soon…”

“But that’s just it
, Ilyan,” Thom interrupted. “It’s almost as if he saw this coming. His room is covered with at least fifty mugs, each filled to the brim with that poison.”

“What?
”

“I know. And if he saw that, then what else did he see? Especially with how Ovailia is acting.”

“Is she still not letting our brother out of her sight?”

“No. I don’t trust her, Ilyan.” Thom’s voice was heavy, hurt. I had never heard so much fear in him, I shook and sunk closer to the toilet.

“I don’t trust her eith…” Ilyan stopped talking suddenly and he swore loudly in Czech, the echoes bounding around me.

“Where did she go?” Thom
asked, his question fading as Ilyan closed the door.

I didn’t hear Ilyan’s footsteps, I only felt his magic grow inside of me as he tracked me. His energy moved through me
, strong and aggressive, the absence of my barrier giving his magic free rein. I gasped and moved closer against the wall, hoping to disappear behind the toilet.

The door to
the bathroom opened a bit, Ilyan’s magic lessening as he approached me. His body folded into a crouch in front of me. He had obviously been sleeping. His short hair was tousled, his chest bare. Ilyan’s eyes were soft, wide, and shining. My heart rate settled somewhat at his gaze. It hadn’t felt this normal in months, the pain from the incessant thudding lessened.

I stared into those eyes, relishing the steady beat, the calmness that he was brin
ging me. I hadn’t even noticed his hand was moving until it came to rest against my cheek. I jumped at the unexpected contact before settling back, my shaky hands moving to cover his.

My hands
clung to Ilyan. I held his magic deep within me as he healed me, comforted me. I refused to look away from him. Part of me was still scared he would disappear, that this was all a trick, that he would hurt me too.

I leaned my head against the
base of the sink my hair falling over my face as I moved. Ilyan gently moved it away, his finger touching my mark as he placed the strands behind my ear. I jerked at the jolt that moved down my spine from Ilyan’s touch, the single jerk morphing into a million twitches.

“
Shhhh, mi lasko, shhhh.” Ilyan attempted to move closer to me in an effort to comfort me but in the end gave up and magically slowed my heart rate instead.

“Is-is
Dr…Dramin… d-d-dead?” I tried so hard to keep the stutter out of my voice, but it didn’t work. It seemed to have followed me. Ilyan’s eyes widened at my voice, and I realized I hadn’t spoken more than his name since my return to this world.

“No,
he had a shield around him, but your strength was still too much for him. He is alive, but we do not know for how much longer.” He wrapped his hand around mine, his eyes refusing to leave mine in fear of my reaction.

My eyes widened at his words, my neck muscles twitching. I had seen Dramin’s death in my sight, the unknown magic flying toward him. So to have seen it replayed in life,
with my magic as the death blow, I knew what that meant – Dramin would not recover. I cringed, pushing my terror away as I clung to the cool porcelain.

“It’s not your fault, Joclyn.” I turned toward him, my eyes wide
. I couldn’t tell him how wrong he was. I may not have been in my right mind, but it would never be anything other than my fault.

“Ryland had a shield around him…” Ilyan’s sentence was drowned out by my screams.

Just hearing his name brought every single memory that I had been trying to restrain to the surface
. They cut through me like a blunted knife. I cringed and howled, my eyes darting around for him, expecting Pain to come through the door at any minute.

“N-n-
no!” I howled. Ilyan’s eyes widened as he tried to figure out what was going on, why I was reacting this way.

“H-he
ca…can’t f-find m...me.” I clawed at the toilet in an attempt to push myself further back against the wall. My hands moved to claw at the warmth that was moving through me. I knew it was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. The action had become learned, almost comforting.

“Jos
... love… calm down…” Ilyan’s hands fluttered around me, the panic on his face growing.

“H-he
wi…will hurt-t me.” I grabbed his arms, desperate to make him understand the danger I was in. My twitches flowed freely even as I tried to control them.

My body
was waging a battle with itself. One side desperately wanted to run, to hide. The other pleaded with me that I was safe, that Ilyan was here and the nightmares were gone.

“No, love, no,” I focused on Ilyan
’s words as his magic flared, my heart rate slowing at his command. “He will never hurt you again. I will keep you safe.”

He looked deeply into me, my insides continuing to unwind.

Safe. Ilyan would keep me safe. I knew it was true. I knew it, deep within me. I focused on him as I willed the calm to overtake me, as I willed my brain to believe his words.

“What happened to you?” I could tell the
question was more to himself than to me, but it still startled me. I didn’t even want to relive it all.

I looked at him, his magic moving through me, his hand wrapped around mine,
and wished I could tell him everything. But I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to say it.

I uncurled my hand out from underneath the security of my body, the fingers stiff and
bent. I stared at that hand, feeling the strength of my magic under my skin and the strength of Ilyan’s magic that moved alongside mine. I knew what I wanted to do, but didn’t even know if it was possible.

I placed my hand against his forehead and let my magic surge into him, his eyes closing as I pushed the memory into him. For one sparkling second my body relaxed, the flinching stopped,
and my heart rate normalized. As the memory left me to play inside of Ilyan’s mind, I felt like myself again, like everything was okay.

But I knew it wouldn’t last, this clarity.
Finally I could see Ilyan and Ryland clearly. I could feel some of what I once felt for Ryland, the feelings that months of torture at his hand had taken away from me.

Ilyan’s eyes opened and the memory came flooding back into me, the twitches and fear returning
with it. I moved further back against the toilet, the sudden return heightening the emotions.

“
Mi lasko?” Ilyan said softly, but I could hear the heartbreak, the blame he was already placing on himself.

Ilyan didn’t wait, he moved into me, his body wedging mine against the toilet. I tried to find comfort in
his touch, but the fear was too raw. I cried out and sunk away, my panic increasing.

“You are safe, Joclyn.”
he said, his heavy voice right against my ear. “No one is going to hurt you, not anymore.”

I wanted to believe him,
I longed for it, but I couldn’t make my reality calm down enough to do so.

“So you were trapped in Cail’s mind?”

I stared at him from the security of my porcelain prison. I didn’t want to say it, though I knew it was true.

“It makes sense. For two weeks I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I couldn’t get you back
. I tried everything…” Ilyan dragged his hand through what was left of his hair, his eyes shining with the residual emotion of what he had gone through.

I looked at him, unsure what to contribute, knowing I didn’t want to
say anything. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to hear what he had to say, but I needed to. I needed to know that I was safe, and why.

“It’s no wonder
I couldn’t. They had taken you through the Tȍuha and into Cail’s mind, leaving no trace. Your mind was disconnected from your body. It’s a miracle I got you back… especially without the connection of a Zȇlství.”

”
Wh…what-t-t d-do y...you m-m-mean?” I struggled to get it out of me, my internal mind still screaming at me to run.

I’m okay here.

I repeated the words to myself, trying to keep my panic in check. But I already knew it wasn’t working. I could feel the panic taking over.

“Edmund broke the
Zȇlství between you and... and…” he hesitated and I knew he was trying to tiptoe around Ryland’s name, “your mate, in an effort to trap you in Cail’s mind.”

I stared at him,
not sure how I was supposed to feel. Strangely, I wasn’t sad or heartbroken, as I probably should have been at hearing about the loss of my bond with Ry. I wasn’t even sure what I felt. When I thought of him, instead of love, I only felt scared. I was still scared of Ryland coming to find me, scared of the pain, of how he would hurt me.

But more than that
, I was relieved.

I was free.

No more nightmares. No more torture. No more.

I opened my mouth to say something when
a knock on the bathroom door sent me jumping. Ilyan calmed me before opening the door just enough to look out while still keeping me out of sight.

“Yes?” Ilyan
asked, his voice level.