Exquisite Karma (Iron Horse MC Book 4) (6 page)

Turned to face the windows, struggling against my temper. “She fuckin’ knows better than to leave without an escort. When I find her, I’m gonna—”

“You’re gonna do what, darling?” came Sarah’s husky voice from behind me.

I turned to face her and at the sight of my gorgeous woman safe and sound, everything inside of me relaxed, right before I got angry again. “Where the fuck were you?”

Her blue eyes sparked as her temper flared to life. Beneath the elegant cranberry silk blouse that she wore beneath her black suit jacket, her breasts rose and fell as she took a deep breath, distracting me. Fuck, having a hot-as-ballz woman is both a blessing and a curse. It was hard to stay mad at her when she looked so damn good. Every time I saw her, I felt a little bit like it was the first time, my attention totally focused on visually devouring her. Contentment mixed with lust burned through me and I fought against getting hard. She still wore the conservative outfit she’d had on during lunch with Swan, letting me know she hadn’t gone home first.

My gaze was drawn off the tight fit of her shirt and back to her angry face as she growled out, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, back the fuck up. I don’t need an ‘escort’ anywhere. I can take care of my damn self.”

I struggled for patience, reminding myself that I needed to be the calm one. “Babe, you don’t got eyes in the back of your head.”

“Babe,” she snarled back at me, “I’m not some stupid bitch blindly skipping through life in my Chanel heels without a care in the world. I can protect myself.”

“I know you can, but you can’t keep fuckin’ leavin’ without an escort.” I grit my teeth, terrible mental images going through my mind of all the ways Sarah could be hurt. “Fuckin’ Los Diablos would love to get their hands on you. All it takes is one second of you being distracted. They could be sneaky about it, trick you into putting yourself in harm’s way before you were even aware of it.”

“Stop treating me like a child!”

“Then stop fuckin’ acting like one! Shit, woman, I do not need the stress of you only thinkin’ of yourself.”

“Oh no you fucking didn’t.”

My heart chose to beat a little faster as our gazes locked and I was momentarily taken aback by how pissed off she was.

Aware of everyone watching us closely, and Smoke grinning like an asshole as we bickered, I kicked them out, slamming the door on the curious faces watching us.

When I turned around Sarah pointed her finger at me and said, “You are such a dick!”

I’d tried to be patient with her, to take into account her young age and how new she was to the MC world, but if she didn’t stop running off by herself she was going to get hurt. “You can’t fuckin’ take off by yourself, Sarah, you know this.”

“Jesus, I was gone for less than two hours and I told Scarlet where I was going. I don’t need a babysitter, and I sure as fuck don’t need to tell you my every move. And I don’t appreciate you yelling at me in front of everyone.”

“Yeah, you fuckin’ do need me yellin’ at you ’cause aren’t getting it. I’ve tried to tell you this in private, but you obviously weren’t fuckin’ listening. This is a bad time to be anywhere,
anywhere
, alone.”

Instead of looking contrite, my stubborn woman rolled her damn eyes at me like I was some kid throwing a tantrum. “I’m not an idiot, Beach, and I’d like to remind you that I’ve saved
your
ass more than once.”

This was true, but my own temper was rising to the surface despite my best attempts to remain cool. We were both passionate, opinionated, and stubborn people, so when we fought, we fought hard. I couldn’t let her think this taking-off-on-her-own bullshit was okay, I had to make her understand the consequences of her actions. This wasn’t just about her and me, but the club as well. Iron Horse would have my back, no matter what, and I’d scorch the Earth around any motherfucker stupid enough to harm her, but I’d rather avoid the bloodshed. 

Holding her gaze, not giving in an inch, I stared her down. “Do you have any idea what I would do if anything happened to you?”

“Considering you cut the pinky fingers off that Los Diablos member that tried to roofie me at the bar last month, yeah, I do.”

“He wouldn’t have tried that shit if you’d been wearing your patch.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. I was at a popular dance club for Scarlet’s birthday party with a bunch of women and the Enforcers who were babysitting us. We were having fun, I had a great time, and the moment something started to go wrong, your boys were there to make sure I was taken care of.” She shook her head. “I’m not wearing your property patch everywhere, Beach. You just have to trust me. I trust
you
.”

This was true, and her words soothed me. “I do trust you, it’s the rest of the world I don’t.”

Striding across the room, I pulled her stiff frame into my arms, loving the way she fit against me even in her anger. Her slender fingers curled into my hair and when she tugged, I rubbed my face against hers, grinning when she squealed because of my scruff. Her small nose rubbed against the side of my neck as she nuzzled into me for a moment, breathing me in before she drew back with a sigh. For whatever reason, my touch soothed her, and it always gave me a sense of pride to know this strong woman needed me. Her pale eyes searched my face as she stroked her hands through my hair before tightening her grip enough that it stung a little bit.

“Beach, you have to give me a little bit of freedom. I shouldn’t have to sneak out like a kid trying to break curfew. That kind of bullshit will not stand with me, and you know this.” She had to clear her throat a couple times before she could speak again, and worry flooded me since I could feel her emotions seething below the surface of her skin. “Honey, I have to feel free to come and go as I please; when I don’t, it triggers the need to run in me.”

“Need to run?” Shit, Mimi had talked about this, and I tried to remember the conversation we’d had months ago.

“Yeah.” She closed her eyes and looked away, her expression filled with pain. “My mom, well—let’s just say when the goin’ got tough, she got goin’.”

“That’s not you.”

“What?”

“You won’t run.”

“How do you know that?” Her lower lip quivered and I cupped the back of her head, resting her cheek against my chest, wishing I could take away the self-doubt that was radiating from her.

“Simple, you’re not a runner, you’re a fighter. I haven’t seen you run from anything or anyone. And trust me, there have been times that I’d wished you’d used your brain and run, but instead I had to bail you out of a gun fight.”

“That wasn’t my fault,” she huffed out. “There was no way I was letting the asshole at that gas station shoot the attendant. How was I to know that a bunch of his gang member buddies were waiting in the car with guns? Besides, I had the situation under control when you arrived, and if I hadn’t stepped in, they would have never found that police chief stashed in the trunk—and we both know his death would’a been long and painful.”

“Babe, you shot them all in the kneecaps.”

“They couldn’t run anywhere and it was
under control
.”

“Then you shot them in the head, execution style.”

Her lips thinned out and a merciless expression hardened her face. “There were other customers in there with me, Beach. Two of them, a young guy and his girlfriend, were killed by those gangbanger fucks. The scales had to be balanced.”

Having seen my woman go into avenging angel mode more than once, I understood her cryptic statement at the end.

I rubbed my lips over the silken strands of her hair, then cupped the back of her neck so I could make her look up at me. “You’re lucky Chief Massie made sure no one questioned your story about some vigilante cowboy.”

“Hey now, it was believable. Not my fault their security cameras didn’t work. And all the witnesses even described the guy who saved us.”

A chuckle escaped me as I thought back to that crazy day. “You told them all to describe Clint Eastwood.”

“Yeah…how was I to know some of them had no idea who Clint Eastwood was?”

“Maybe the fact that they didn’t speak English.”

“They have movies in India,” she muttered. “Anyway, all’s well that ends well. Point being, I can handle myself and I need you to give me the freedom to do what I think is right. I’ll never be the kind of woman who can walk away from an injustice like that. It’s not right, and I know karma puts me there for a reason.”

I knew better than to even try to argue with her about karma being an actual real force in the universe. It’s all coincidence and bullshit, but Sarah and Mimi both believed it; now they’ve got my mom and Birdie believing it as well. Shit’ll happen and they’ll all look at each other with these smug expressions, like they somehow knew what was going to occur.

I didn’t want to admit it, but I found myself doing stuff to stay on the right side of karma lately. Not saying I’m off doing charity or any of that bullshit, but I try to show a little more patience with my brothers, and it’s had a positive ripple effect throughout the club.

It was time to use some more of my hard-earned patience with my woman and give her the room she needed to not just fly, but to soar.

Stroking her cheek, I sighed. “I’ll back off, but right now it’s not safe for you to go out without at least one of the brothers at your back. It just isn’t.”

She rested her head against my chest, the soft floral scent of her shampoo rising from her hair. “Beach, how much longer is it going to be like this? I can’t live my life at DEFCON 1.”

I rubbed the calloused tips of my fingers over the smooth perfection of her cheek, pleasure sparking through me. My cock thickened from having her so close to me and I wondered if there would ever be a point when I wasn’t starving for her. Some long-suppressed need to mate urged me to fuck her, to claim her, to own her in every way possible. But first, I needed to reassure my woman. “Things will calm down, but right now there are special circumstances that make it more dangerous than usual. I was worried about you. Can you imagine how you’d feel if I pulled a vanishing act?”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I handled this badly.” She sighed. “I didn’t know I’d be gone so long. I thought I’d be back before you noticed I was gone, but it turned out to be a longer process than I’d anticipated.”

“You didn’t think
what
was gonna take so long?”

“Honey, it’s your birthday tomorrow. I wanted your present to be a surprise.”

Damn, I’d totally forgotten about that. With all the shit going down around me with legal issues, a brother headed to jail, and a missing shipment of guns, I had no time left to think about myself. But Sarah had remembered, and a warm glow flared in my chest as I gazed down at her earnest face. With her hair swept back, she seemed so corruptible, and I ran my lips over her forehead, needing to touch her in a fundamental way that was beyond explanation. Yeah, we fought, but we always made up, and each fight shaved some of the rough edges on our relationship, brought us closer together. My trust in her was absolute and I fucking adored her.

“You got me a present, huh?”

“Yep.”

“I told you I don’t need anything but you.” Nuzzling her temple, I drew her scent into my lungs and let the warmth of my love for her run through me.

Her body grew tight and she leaned back enough so she could look up at me with a nervous expression that set me on alert. “I know. That’s why I got you what you asked for.”

“What?”

A vulnerable expression came over her, one I’d never seen before that made her look young and unsure, far different from her usual hard-as-nails mask she wore to face the world. “You’ve made me happier than anyone ever has in my entire life, Carlos. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. I wake up every day, unafraid, safe and content in a way I’d only dreamed I could be. The love you give me so freely…you have no idea how good it feels to know you love me. To know you mean it. I’ve been starved for affection and now I have so much I don’t know what to do with it.”

“You’re easy to love.”

Her gaze darted away and I inwardly cursed. Even though I’d told her plenty of times that I loved her, she hadn’t been able to say it back yet. Something about her past had fucked up that phrase for her, but she hadn’t shared with me what it was yet. While she was an old soul in some ways, in others she was still a scared child who was terrified of the dark and weary of anyone getting too close. It hurt that she couldn’t tell me those words back, but I know she loves me because she shows me every single day in every way that matters.

I was used to her arguing that I couldn’t love her, that it was too soon and all the usual deflective crap she liked to spout out when she was emotionally uncomfortable, so I was surprised when she murmured, “Thank you.”

“What?”

A pink flush raced over her cheeks, making the blue in her eyes stand out more. “Thank you. I’m—uh, well, my therapist and I have been working on my…issues, and she pointed out that when I try to talk you out of loving me, I’m hurting you. So instead of arguing with you that I suck, I’m going to try to accept it and say thank you instead.”

It did hurt that she seemed to find herself so unworthy of being loved, but I didn’t say that. “Baby doll, you’re too hard on yourself. Can’t you see that I’m the one unworthy of you?”