Exposed: New Adult Sport Romance (The Boys of Winter Book 5) (9 page)

He takes a pencil from his cup and sticks it in the bun. I catch a whiff of his spicy scent. It’s faint, and I wonder if it’s his soap because it’s never strong, no matter how freshly showered he is.

Neal lingers in my space and twists a loose strand of my hair around his finger, confusing the heck out of me. “Tough day for curls?”

I nod and wish his finger would stroke my skin too. The space around us suddenly seems small, and my breathing quickens. Neal’s hand skims along my cheek as he moves it away. Clearing his throat, he says, “Numbers. Let’s talk.”

I sit in my chair, and the metal thuds under my bottom. While I’m not an idiot, math is my least favorite subject. Just looking at the spreadsheet on Neal’s laptop makes me sweat and brings up memories of my trying to comprehend pre-calculus.

Despite the intoxicating presence of Neal next to me, he manages to break things down and spoon-feed me the economics of how we’ll run things to make a profit. I grin at him because I understand the way things are set up so we’ll make money our first year. “You are making my day right now. I can’t believe how simple you make this look. Where were you when I needed a math tutor?”

I’ve placed my hand on his arm, and he covers it with his fingers. He gives me a little squeeze when he says, “Considering that wasn’t very long ago, I’d say right here.”

His comment about my age makes me wonder how old he is. “How long ago did you graduate from college?”

“My ten-year reunion is next spring. I’m old.” He flips my hand over and his thumb rubs against my palm, sending small shock waves of pleasure straight to my core.

I do a quick calculation, putting him at thirty-two, and realize he’s closer to my mother’s age than mine. That should be creepy, but somehow it’s not. “You’re not old, just wise.”

Neal’s voice deepens in tone, and he moves in close enough that I detect the faint odor of coffee and mint on his breath. “I’m not sure how wise I am.”

I lick my lips, trying to tamp down the desire to kiss him, because surely he’s teasing me again. But he’s not, and his mouth lands softly on mine. His lips nip and threaten to devour me.

Instead he pulls away slowly, and says, “Not smart at all.” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want to ruin our business relationship, Ruby. I’m sorry.”

Don’t be! “It’s okay.” Hell, it’s more than okay with me.

Neal’s brow is furrowed, and he shakes his head. I’ve done it again. I’ve made a fool of myself, and my face burns with embarrassment. Suddenly I think of Trevor and pull my phone from my back pocket to check the time. It’s one fifteen. “Crap! I’ve got to go.”

I grab my coat and bag and race out the door. Jogging up the steps, I realize I didn’t say good-bye and turn to yell, “Thanks!”

Chapter 13

The
Baked Bean is a coffee shop and deli. With hearty soups and stews, sandwiches, baked goods, bagels, coffee, and tea, it’s a local favorite. I run the two blocks to get there and am out of breath when I arrive. I push through the door and frantically search for Trevor.

Sweat trickles down my back when I spot him at a table. He waves, and I walk over as my heart rate returns to normal. Sniffing, I watch his amused gaze scan me quickly. “Good to see you still operate on Ruby time.”

“I know it’s hard to believe right now, but I’m much better these days.” He’s wearing a dark red fleece over a tight tee. My eyes get stuck a moment on Trevor’s defined chest. He certainly did fill out and in a good way.

“It’s okay; I only got here a few minutes ago.” He’s smiling, and any concerns lingering from my dreams wash away. I smirk and say, “I’m going to go get coffee and cake. Want anything?”

He glances down at his bagel and coffee. “I’m good.”

I’ve been coming here for years and can’t imagine not having their German chocolate cake when it’s available. The moment I spot it I want to squeal. I opt for regular coffee to hurry my order along and am back with Trevor in minutes.

Metal silverware clatters on my plate, and my mug thumps down. Before I manage to sit Trevor has swiped my fork and breaks off a chunk of cake.

“Hey!”

He shoves it in his mouth, and his eyes twinkle at my reaction.

I say, “You’re mean.”

He chuckles and hands me the utensil. I look at it as if I can see germs, and he says, “You’re not seriously thinking about another fork, are you? Because you’ve had more than my spit in your mouth.”

My eyes widen as my jaw drops. “You didn’t just say that!” My face is flaming with heat.

He leans forward and says, “You’re still so easy to tease. I can’t believe some guy hasn’t taunted the embarrassment out of you.”

I find my inner sass and cross my arms as I sit back. “I do need a new fork. I don’t want to think of the places your mouth has been.”

Trevor laughs and gets up to get me clean silverware. When he returns he winks at me. “You’re still adorable when you’re flustered. I’m glad I haven’t lost my touch.”

I recall the numerous ways he would torture me, starting with the first time we met. “Unfortunately it’s the very thing that attracted me to you in the beginning. I know it’s your way of showing you care.”

He grins. “Oh, yeah? See? You’ve been swapping spit with me from day one.”

I take a bite of my dessert, and the sugary coconut frosting melts on my tongue. I moved to Sugarloaf, Maine, partway through my sophomore year of high school for ski racing. The first day on the chairlift Trevor told me all the new girls had to kiss one boy as initiation. He convinced me he was the safest choice, and when we got to the top of the lift he proceeded to stick his tongue in my mouth as the whole team watched.

I swallow and ask. “Does your latest girlfriend find your ways charming?”

He snorts. “Wow, you cut to the chase. I don’t have a girlfriend.”

I flush because that wasn’t why I asked. Was it?

He sips on coffee and then asks, “Is there some guy in your life?”

“No. No boyfriend.” My blush stays because Neal’s kiss flashes through my mind.

Trevor raises his eyebrows as he crunches on his bagel. And I change the conversation. “Tell me about teaching. Adults or kids?”

“Adults. But I might get to coach kids in the racing program, and I’m excited about it.”

“That would be fun. Doing something you love every day is great.” My fork clinks as I dig into the cake.

“Yeah, how’s the shop coming along?” Trevor pushes his empty plate out of the way and leans back with a coffee mug in his hand.

“Great. I should open in three weeks and am so excited. You’ll have to come see it.”

“I’d like that. You’re really into this, and it makes me proud.”

“Proud? How so?” While I drew a lot in high school, I never expected to major in fashion design in college. I had more practical aspirations, like being a teacher. Amazing how a life-altering event can change a person.

He shrugs. “I get to say I knew you when you were just sketching your boyfriend as he slept on your lap during bad movies.”

I smile, remembering that wasn’t all we did while watching bad movies. We spent a lot of time trying to touch each other without taking off clothes in case my mother walked in.

I suspect Trevor is remembering something similar when his hand covers mine. When I glance down he speaks in a low voice. “Just making sure you’re real. For a while I thought I might never see you again.”

I lift my hand and lace my fingers through his. “I know the feeling.” His hand warms mine, and I long to have him hold me.

“Do you think about her and wonder if she’s happy?”

I nod as my throat tightens. “She is. The kind of people that adopt want a child so badly they treat them like gold. She’s probably got a better life than I… than we could have ever given her.”

Trevor shakes his head and squeezes my hand a little. “That’s not true. We would have been amazing parents, I’m sure of it.”

I smile at him but don’t share my fears. The idea that Trevor and I would have lived happily ever after with a child is a fantasy. We weren’t ready to act like adults, and in my heart I know I did the right thing by giving our child up for adoption.

A tear slips down my check, and I let go of Trevor to wipe it away. He says, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to make you sad.”

“No, that’s okay. I’ve had years to come to terms with this. You’ve only known for a few days. You can ask me anything.”

“Anything?”

“Sure.” I push my dessert away, and Trevor picks up my fork.

“Were you scared to have a baby? I mean, the giving birth part.” He stabs the cake to get a bite.

I nod. “My mother was awesome, though. She demanded I get all the drugs possible and she—” My voice cracks, and I stop to will the tears not to fall.

“Did they let you hold her?”

I remember holding my tiny girl and telling her good-bye before the nurse took her from me. I whisper, “Yeah.” Hot moisture rolls down my cheeks.

“It was hard to give her away, wasn’t it?”

I nod again, and Trevor’s chair scrapes against the floor as he moves to the one next to me so he can pull me against his chest. “I’m so sorry, baby. I know your mom is amazing, but I should have been there.”

I pull away and reach for a napkin. I blow my nose gently so I don’t call attention to us. “What else do you want to know?”

“Am I still allowed to ask anything?”

I joke. “I’m not going to tell you how fat I got.”

Trevor’s smile falls, and he asks, “Have you fallen in love again?”

“What? I—” How pathetic is it that I haven’t? I can’t tell him that. “That’s not a fair question, unless you’re going to tell me.” I shake my head. “No, wait. I don’t want to know.” I huff. I think he’s teasing me again to take my mind off my pain. “Damn it, Trevor.”

He reaches both hands across the table for mine. “I’m being serious. I asked because I haven’t. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved.”

“Oh.” Oh, God, what am I supposed to do with that?

“Same for you?”

I sigh. I suppose telling the truth is what I need to do from here on out with him. “Yeah.”

Trevor strokes my cheek with his finger. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the other day.”

Each time his finger moves over my skin the sensation melts my icy heart a little bit more. “You’ve been on my mind, too.”

“Do you think we could try again? Remember how good we were, baby?”

So many nights I lay awake, hoping for this. For Trevor to ask for me back. But now that he does, is it really what I want? “We’ve both changed. I’m not the girl you were in love with anymore.”

He twists a loose strand of my hair around his finger and tugs me toward him gently. I place a palm against his chest, and he says, “I’m not the same guy. I like to think I’m better. Smarter. We’ll go slow.”

I wanted this for so long. A second chance. My heart soars while my head is telling me to be careful. “I can try slow.”

I pull away from him to break contact so I can focus instead of letting myself turn into a puddle. “It’s going to have to be slow. I’ve got a store to open in a few weeks, and I’m working all the time right now.”

“How can I help? I don’t get many lessons now as a rookie, and things won’t pick up until Christmas break. I’m all yours, and I’ll do anything you want.”

“I’m not sure. Let me think about it.” My mind is racing. Do I really want Trevor and Neal in the same room?

Trevor breaks off cake with the fork and lifts it to my mouth. I let him feed me a bite, and after I swallow, he leans over and kisses me gently. His tongue darts into my mouth quickly before he pulls back. “Still sweet as ever. We’ll do it right this time, Ruby. I promise.”

There we go again with promises. Pale blue eyes gaze at me with so much love. How can I not believe in his promises? Maybe this time, we’ll both be able to keep them.

Chapter 14

I
get back to my apartment late in the afternoon, and guilt is heavy on my mind when I see three cars in the driveway. Music is so loud that my tiny house is practically vibrating as I approach the door.

I open it to Garret singing at the top of his lungs as he sews. Lisa is dancing around a dress form as she pins, and I’m not sure what Elaina was doing because she’s staring at me with her mouth wide open. She breaks free from her trance and hops up to turn down the music.