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Authors: Beckie Stevenson

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BOOK: Existing
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I shake my head.
Can he tell that it’s a bruise caused by someone’s hand? Why is he so sure that it’s a clenched fist?

“I fel
l on my kitchen floor,” I say with as much conviction as possible.

“How could the floor, which is flat, bruise your eyebrow, the inner corner of your eye
, and your cheek bone?”

“I don’t know,” I say quickly. “Would you like me to ask it when I get home?”

He opens his mouth but shuts it again and shakes his head.

I gulp loudly, hating that it feels like I’ve argued with him. He’s probably just curious and I’m being paranoid
. “I, um, better get to class.”

He sucks in a deep breath and continues to stare at my face. “What have you got?”

“English Lit.”

I watch a pa
ir of the most kissable pink lips I have ever seen spread into a smile across his face. “Me too. I’ll walk with you.”


It’s fine,” I say, quickly starting to walk away from him. “You don’t have to.”

He laughs loudly
, causing other people turn to look at us.

“What
’s so funny?” I ask, stopping in the middle of the hallway to turn back to him. Students pass by me, nudging my arms and shoulders as they do.

“English L
it is that way,” he says, pointing to the hallway in the opposite direction that I was heading.

“Oh,” I say
, feeling a blush burst onto my cheeks. “I knew that.”

He laughs. “Of course you did.”

I lower my head as we walk through the hallway. I can feel the stares of the other students bouncing off me as they watch the two of us walk to class. Random boys who I have never seen before walk up to Cabe and slap him on the back, congratulating him on some soccer win. He laughs them off, but he seems to be just as popular as Charlotte is. Some of them speak to Cabe and then I watch their eyes fall onto me in wonder, but all of them are polite enough to not ask anything while I’m standing there. We eventually start to walk toward two doors, one blue and one green. Cabe gently pushes me toward the blue one.

“Did you get a map yesterday?”
he asks.

“Yes.”

He laughs. “Then why aren’t you using it?”

I shrug.
“Because you’re showing me now.”

He smiles and
looks at me. I watch his dark lashes flash across his eyes as he blinks slowly. The noise in the background suddenly disappears, making the energy that’s flitting between us seem more obvious and electrifying than it was a few minutes ago. My eyes trace the strong lines of his face again before falling down his neck. I stare at the outline of his t-shirt against his tanned neck before running down the length of his defined arms. I follow his hand up as it pushes through his light brown, almost blondish hair.

“So, we’re here. This is class,
” he says with a smile.

I breathe in
, deeply trying to ignore the tickling feeling in my stomach and nod. “So I see.”

He pushes open the door and smiles a heart-melting smile at me.
“Oh, and happy birthday, by the way.”

My mouth drops open as I
watch him stride confidently into class before taking his seat. I try to compose myself and walk toward the balding teacher seated at his desk. He looks up and pushes his glasses up his nose, but says nothing.

Charlotte couldn
’t have told Cabe it was my birthday because I was with her before I crashed into him and then I’ve been with him since. How on earth did he know it was my birthday?

“Excuse me,” I say quietly. “I think I’m in this class this morning. I’m Roisin Williams.”

“Ahh,” the teacher says, picking up some pieces of paper. “Yes, you are Roisin. I have all of your notes here, which is a good start.” He stands up and stretches his hand out toward me. I watch his gaze pass over my bruise. “I believe in having a relaxed atmosphere in my class, which means you can call me Steve.”

I nod and shake his hand.

“Right,” he says, rubbing his hand over his bare scalp. “I think we’ll sit you next to Michael today.”

I look up and see the boy that Charlotte kicked in his shin smiling at m
e. I frown and hear Cabe chuckle as I walk past him.

“Hi
, Rose.” Michael scoots over and pulls my chair out.

“Morning,” I say, not caring if I sound grumpy or rude. 

“I see that you don’t have Charlotte protecting you today.”

Cabe leans back and rocks his chair on its back legs. “No, but sh
e’s got me so you’d better watch it.”

Michael laughs and pushes Cabe’s chair. “Shut it
, Evans.”

Cabe laughs and shakes his head without turning back around.

“Class, we’re reading aloud today. Can everyone please take out a copy of Hamlet?”

I breathe in deeply, grateful for the fact that I won’t have to talk to Michael during the lesson.

“Roisin, can you start us off please?”

I snap my head up and feel the weight of the anxiety crash on top of my shoulders.
I flip the pages of my book to Chapter One and clear my throat.

 

 

“So what did Cabe want with you this morning?”

I grin and roll my eyes at Charlotte as she leans against my locker after lunch. “Nothing, really. He bumped into me.”

She raises her eyebrows at me
. “That’s beginning to become a habit for you two, isn’t it?”

I laugh and remove my
gym clothes from the locker. “I guess we’re both clumsy.”

She wags her finger
in front of her. “You can’t lie to me, Rose. I can tell you like him.”

“I don’t,” I say
, far too quickly. “He’s just nice to me, that’s all.”

“Hmm
,” she says, smiling. “I’m keeping a close eye on you two. Cabe Evans doesn’t get friendly with any of the girls.”

“What do you mean?”
I ask, curious.

“He’s refused every girl that has ever approached him. It seems he prefers
playing soccer to dating girls,” she tells me.

I laugh. “Maybe he’s gay?” I quickly think about Ashley and then shake my head to remove the image of him.

“Who’s gay?”

We both spin around and find ourselves staring at Cabe. His mouth lifts up at the corners as if he’s trying not to smile.

“Er…” says Charlotte, making me blush even more.


Mr. Parker,” I say quickly. “That necklace that he wears is such a giveaway.”

Charlotte glances at me and nods her head.
“Er, yeah,” she stammers. “I’m sure he’s gay. In fact, I think he’s married to a man.”

I
smile and turn toward Cabe, who looks at the both of us quickly before shaking his head and walking off.

Charlotte groans at the side of me.
“Ohmygod. He totally heard that, didn’t he?”

“Yup,” I say with
a smile, as I watch all six feet of him walk down the hallway. I turn to her, and we both shake with laughter as Ashley creeps up to the side of us.

“Hello
, girls.”

I smile
at him. “Hi, Ashley.”

Charlotte’s eyes widen in her head as she looks between the two of us.

“Oh,” I say, suddenly realizing her silent meaning. “Ashley, this is Charlotte. Charlotte, this is Ashley.”

She thrusts her hand out.
“Nice to meet you, Ashley. You were new yesterday too, weren’t you?”

He grins at me.
“Yup. Sure was. So, what were you laughing at?”

Charlotte shrugs her shoulder. “I can’t remember now. Can you
, Rose?”

I bite my lip and shake my head. Ashley frowns but chooses not to ask us anything more. “Anyway, I gotta go. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday
, Rose. Nice meeting you, Charlotte.”

He starts to walk away.

“Hey! How did you know it was my birthday?” I call after him.

He turns around
, but carries on walking backwards. “I snuck into the school office yesterday and read your file.” He winks as my mouth drops open and then he runs off down the hallway.

Char
lotte fans herself with her hand. “Jeez, he’s so hot. I mean… those eyes. Ohmygod. They’re amazing!”

She’s still talking about Ashley
as we push through the steamed-up doors to the indoor swimming pool. The heat of the room wraps itself around me like a blanket and I can feel the difference in the pressure against my chest. I blink in confusion when I see boys standing in front of us.

“Is this a mixed class?” I whisper.

Charlotte looks confused. “Yes, why?”

“Nothing, it’s just that we didn’t have mixed classes at my old school. I’m not sure I’m okay with
the boys seeing me in a swimsuit.”

She laughs and taps my arm. “You’ll be fine. Y
ou’ve got a great figure. Megan, on the other hand…”

I follow her gaze to a red
faced, plump girl that looks like she’s in physical pain as she sits on the side, gripping her changing bag.

“That’s so mean,” I whisper.

Charlotte stops. “I’m not being mean. Megan herself says that she’s like a big whale in the pool.”

“Are you Roisin?”

I look up and see a teacher wearing shorts and a t-shirt looking at me.

“Yes,” I reply.

“Have you got your swim stuff in that bag?” he asks, nodding toward the bag that I’ve thrown over my shoulder.

I
nod.

“Good,” he says. “E
veryone, you’ve got five minutes to go and get changed.”

The other fifteen students all file into a divided changing room. At least these are separated
, I think to myself, as I follow Charlotte to a wooden bench and a brass peg.

“Coach Johnson is actually really good.” Charlotte slips her top over her head
, revealing a bright pink bra. “If you’re good, he’ll want you to try out for the team.”

I pull my own top off
, feeling thankful that I chose matching underwear this morning. “Are you on the team?”

“Yeah,” she says
, turning her back to me while she takes off the rest of her clothes. “It would be nice to have a friend on there with me.”

I turn myself away from her and peel the rest of my clo
thes off. I step into my one-piece and wriggle it up my body. My bright pink, racer-backed swimsuit is very snug. I glance down to make sure there aren’t any stray hairs and run my hands up my legs that feel surprisingly smooth, considering I can’t remember the last time I shaved them.

“Ready?” Charlotte asks.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I sigh.

She laughs and pulls me
into the pool area. As soon as I step onto the side by the pool, I notice Cabe standing bare-chested in his small black shorts. A rush of blood swarms around my chest, forcing my breathing to quicken. I quickly glance away, trying to ignore his buff chest and shoulders.

I feel Charlotte nudge my arm with hers. “He’s on the swim team too. Best we’ve got.”

“Oh, really?” I say, trying to hide my smile.

“Yeah,” she says
, narrowing her eyes at me. “Why? Do you think you could beat him?”

I laugh and shrug as Coach Johnson comes to stand in front of us. “Let’s have ten lengths to war
m up and then we’ll have a race-off. I need to select a team of five boys and five girls for next week’s competition.”

I get in line behind Charlotte as the class spreads out over the five lanes.

 

 

Cabe

 

“Keep to your right. The next person in line can get off when the person in front hits the half way marker,” Coach shouts before blowing his whistle.

Charlotte dive
s smoothly into the pool. She surfaces and swims freestyle through the water. I turn away from her and stare across the pool at Rose. When I first saw her eye this morning, I immediately knew why she was in my cemetery last night crying her eyes out. Someone has hit her. I don’t know who, but how dare anyone hit Rose and hurt her like that? What’s worse is that I have a feeling this isn’t the first time it’s happened to her. She lied so easily about it, which makes me think she’s had good practise. If someone is hitting a seventeen year-old girl, then they need to be punished for it. My only problem is that I have absolutely no idea where to start or even why I want to get involved. I don’t know or care for the girl, or that’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

As if she senses that I’m looking at her
, she suddenly snaps her eyes onto me. She looks confused for a second but shrugs and steps up to the edge of the pool. I watch the muscles in her thighs flex as she bends her knees, and then she dives cleanly into the water without causing a single splash. She surfaces and pulls her arms through the water. She moves so fluidly and fast that I’m almost worried she’ll be able to beat me. Almost.

BOOK: Existing
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