now that I no longer worked at Kelly & Company or dated Philip, I
didn't warrant any mention at all. There was also the possibility
that her affair with Avery had ended. Either way, I hadn't stopped
praying for her demise.
"Happy birthday, Bette!"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, thanks. But listen, have you seen the
Post
yet?"
She laughed for a full minute, and I got the distinct feeling I
was missing something. "My gift to you, Bette. Happy twentyeighth!"
"What are you saying? I don't understand what's going on. Did
you have something to do with this?" I asked with such hopefulness
it was almost humiliating.
"You might say that," she said coyly.
"Pen! Tell me this instant what happened! This might just be
the best day of my life. Explain!"
"Okay, calm down. It was all very innocent, actually—it just
sort of fell into my lap."
"What did?"
"The information that our dear friend Abby is not a college
graduate."
"And how, exactly, did that happen?"
"Well, after my ex-fiance told me he was screwing her—"
"Correction, Pen. He told you he was screwing
someone
—I told
you he was screwing
her,"
I added helpfully.
"Right. So anyway, after I found out they were screwing, I had
the inclination to write her a little letter and tell her what I
thought."
"What does this have to do with her not graduating?" I was too
eager for the dirt to endure the extraneous details.
"Bette, I'm getting there! I didn't want to email her because
there's always the potential that it'll get forwarded to a million people,
but her address in New York is unlisted—she must think she's
some kind of celebrity, and people would just beat down her door
to catch a glimpse of the star herself. I called New York Scoop, but
they wouldn't give it out. That's when it occurred to me to call
Emory."
"Okay, I'm following so far."
"I figured that as a fellow graduate, I'd have no trouble getting
her address from them. I called the alumni center and told them I
was looking for a classmate, that we'd lost touch but I wanted to
invite her to my wedding."
"Nice touch," I said.
"Thanks, I thought so. Anyway, they checked their records and
told me they had no one under that name. I'll save you all the gory
details, but basically a few more minutes of digging revealed that
while darling Abby matriculated with us, she didn't manage to
graduate with our class—or ever."
"Jesus. I think I see where this is going, and I could not be
more proud right now."
"Well, it gets better. I was on the phone with a girl at the registrar's
office. She swore me to secrecy and then told me that the
reason Abby withdrew three credits short was because the dean of
arts and sciences found out Abby was sleeping with her husband
and suggested that she withdraw immediately. We never knew because
Abby never told anyone; she just stuck around campus until
the rest of us graduated."
"Amazing," I breathed. "And yet not at all surprising."
"Yeah, well, it only took a few minutes from there to set up an
anonymous Hotmail account, let the good folks at New York Scoop
know that their star columnist wasn't a college graduate, and give
them a little clue as to why she'd departed without a degree. I
called their offices every day asking for her until I was told yesterday
that she was no longer with the paper, at which time I sent a
helpful little anonymous tip to Page Six as well."
"Ohmigod, Penelope, you evil bitch. I didn't think you had it in
you!"
"So, as I said before, happy birthday! I found out about it
months ago, when I wrote the letter, but I thought if I waited, it
would make a fine birthday present. Consider it my gift to you.
And myself," she added.
We hung up, and I was unabashedly elated, imagining Abby
walking the streets, panhandling, or—better yet—wearing a McDonald's
apron. When the phone rang again within seconds, I
snapped it open without looking first.
"What else?" I said, assuming it was Penelope calling back with
some forgotten juicy tidbit.
"Hello?" I heard a male voice say. "Bette?"
Ohmigod, it was Sammy. Sammy! Saaaaaaaammmmmy! I
wanted to sing and dance and scream his name to the entire coffee
shop.
"Hiiiii," I breathed, barely able to believe that the call I'd
waited nearly four months for—the call I'd
willed
to arrive—was finally
happening.
He laughed at my obvious joy. "It's good to hear your voice."
"Yours, too," I said much too quickly. "How have you been?"
"Good, good. I opened up a place, finally, and—"
"I know, I've been reading all about it. Congratulations! It's a
huge success, and I think that's just incredible!" I was dying to
know how he'd managed to put it together so quickly, but I
wasn't going to risk anything by asking a thousand annoying
questions.
"Yeah, thanks. So, look, I'm kind of racing around, but 1 just
wanted to call and—"
Oh. He had the tone of someone who'd moved on, most likely
had a new girlfriend who had a fulfilling job helping other
people . . . someone who didn't own a pair of tattered, stained
sweatpants but who always lounged around the apartment in the
cutest silk pajama sets. Someone who—
" . . . and see if you'll have dinner with me tonight?"
I waited to make sure I'd heard him right, but neither of us
ended up saying anything. "Dinner?" I tentatively ventured.
"Tonight?"
"You probably have plans, don't you? I'm sorry to call at the
last minute, I just—"
"No, no plans," I shouted before he could change his mind. No
chance of playing it cool, either, but suddenly that didn't seem to
matter. I hadn't missed a brunch or a Thursday dinner since I'd quit
Kelly & Company, so Will would just have to understand about
tonight. "I can totally have dinner."
I could hear him smiling through the phone. "Great. Why don't
I swing by your place around seven? We can have a drink in your
neighborhood, and then I'd like to bring you by the restaurant. If
that sounds okay . . ."
"Okay? That sounds perfect, just perfect," I gushed. "Seven? I'll
see you then." And I snapped my phone shut before I could say
one word to fuck it up. Fate. It was absolutely, positively, undeniably
fate that had inspired Sammy to call on my birthday: a sign
that we were, most definitely, destined to be together forever. I
was debating whether or not to tell him that I turned twenty-eight
that day when it occurred to me that I was going to
see
him that
night.
My preparations were frenzied. I called Will from the cab on
my way home, begging his forgiveness, but he merely laughed and
told me that he'd happily take a rain check if it meant I was finally
going out with a boy. I raced into the corner nail place for a
quickie manicure and pedicure and then threw in a ten-dollar, tenminute
chair massage to try to relax. Penelope took charge of stylist
duties and assembled multiple outfit pieces, including three
dresses and an intricately beaded tank top, two pairs of shoes, four
bags, and her entire stash of jewelry, which had recently been supplemented
by her parents in an attempt to cajole her out of mourning.
She dropped them off and left, planning to spend the night
with Michael and Megu and wait for an update from me. I tried
things on and discarded them, frantically straightened the apartment,
danced to Pat Benatar's "We Belong" with Millington in my
arms, and, finally, sat demurely on the couch and waited for
Sammy's arrival exactly one hour before he was due.
When Seamus rang my buzzer, I thought I might cease breathing.
Sammy arrived at my door a moment later. He had never
looked so good. He was wearing some sort of shirt/jacket/no-tie
combo that came across as stylish and sophisticated without trying
too hard, and I noticed that he'd let his hair grow to that perfect
length that wasn't really short or long—Hugh Grant-ish, if I had to
explain it. He smelled both soapy and minty when he leaned forward
to kiss my cheek, and had I not been death-gripping the
door frame, I would've surely collapsed.
"It's really great to see you, Bette," he said, taking my hand
and leading me toward the elevator. I walked effortlessly in my
borrowed D&G sandals and felt pretty and feminine in a skirt
that skimmed my knees and a summerweight cashmere cardigan
that revealed just the right amount of cleavage. It was just like
all the Harlequins always said it was: even though it had been
months since we'd last seen each other, it felt like not a single
day had passed.
"You, too," I managed, content to just gaze at his profile all
night.
He led me to a charming neighborhood wine bar three blocks
west, where we settled into a back table and immediately began
talking. I was delighted to see that he hadn't really changed at all.
"Tell me how you've been," he said, sipping from the glass of
Syrah he'd expertly ordered. "What have you been up to?"
"No, no, no way. I'm not the one with the hugely exciting
news," I said.
Well, isn't that the understatement of the century?
I
thought. "I think I've read pretty much every word they've written
about you, and it all sounds so fantastic!"
"Yeah, well, I got lucky. Really lucky." He coughed and looked
slightly uncomfortable. "Bette, I, ah, I've got something to tell you."
Oh, Christ. There was no possible way that was a good sign,
none whatsoever. I chided myself for my premature enthusiasm,
for thinking that the fact that Sammy had called—and on my birthday,
no less—meant anything more than he was just being friendly
and making good on a promise between old friends. It was those
goddamn Harlequins—they were the problem. I vowed to quit
those miserable things: because they just made it too easy to maintain
totally unreasonable expectations. I mean, Dominick or Enrique
never said "I've got something to tell you" before asking the
woman of their dreams to marry them. Those were clearly the
words of a man about to announce that he was in love—just
not with me. I didn't think I could handle even a whiff of bad
news.
"Oh, really?" I managed to say, folding my arms across my
chest in an unconscious attempt to brace myself for the news.
"What's that?"
Another strange look crossed his face, and then we were interrupted
by the waiter placing the check in front of Sammy. "Sorry to
rush you out, guys, but we're closing now for a private party. I'll
take this as soon as you're ready."
I wanted to scream. Hearing that Sammy was in love with a
swimsuit model cum Mother Teresa was going to be hard