Every Kiss (16 page)

Releasing his face, I break his grip free from the counter
ledge and wrap his arms around my waist, and that’s all the encouragement he
needs. He pulls me closer into the firm wall of his warm chest until I’m at the
very edge of the counter, and I wrap both arms around the top of his shoulders,
one hand diving into his hair and urging the kiss to deepen. He moans into my
mouth as his tongue seeks mine out, swirling and dancing in rhythm with my own.

Finally, I’ve had all I can take. Needing to feel his skin,
I reach down to the hem of his shirt and slide it up his chest, breaking the
kiss to get it over his head. When I drop his shirt onto the floor, our eyes
meet. The usually frosty blue is somehow darker, smoldering. His lips are
glistening with moisture, and his chest is heaving in and out with every
breath. The warning bells are going off big time. This man is
so
going
to break my heart. And I’m going to let him.

Deciding it’s only fair, I hold my arms straight up until he
takes the hint to take my shirt off, too. He inches it up slowly, his eyes
never leaving mine except for when it slips over my face. Even then, they find
them again immediately.

“You’re so beautiful, Callie.” His voice is hoarse, barely
audible. “And so damn perfect it kills me.”

I reach out to bring him closer until we’re chest to chest,
skin-to-skin. Nuzzling my face into his neck, I take a slow, deep breath,
taking in the warm scent that belongs only to him.

He follows my lead, doing the same. “You smell like me,” he
whispers against my neck while his hands skim up my back.

“I like it,” I whisper back.

Wes straightens and kisses me softly. “It smells way better
on you.” He stares at me for a long moment before groaning and lowering his
chin to his chest. “Damn it, Callie. What are we doing?”

“Do you really need me to spell it out for you?”

“I’m being serious. You don’t want this. Not with me. I
warned you from the beginning that I can’t give you more than this, and I can’t
help wondering if you think you can be the one to change me. Trust me on this .
. . it won’t happen. I need to be 100 percent sure that you realize that.”

I shake my head. “Wes.”

“No, I’m serious. Tell you what, I’m going to go into my
room and give you a few minutes to think about it. And I really want you to
think long and hard about what you’re getting yourself into. I’m not saying
that it’s impossible for me to fall for you. I just want to make it clear that,
if I do, I have no trouble walking away the minute the thought pops into my
head. I’m not going down that road again.” He pushes away from the counter.
“That’s how it has to be. You may end up hating me and will be relieved when
that day comes. Hell, it may even work for us to just stay friends and have
this, too. I just want you to be prepared for what could happen. Take a few
minutes. Take an hour if you need it. Just let me know if you want to go or
stay.”

He stalks toward his room, leaving me sitting on the
counter, topless. I’ve known the hard facts all along, so I can’t help
wondering if
he’s
afraid of the outcome. If
he’s
scared that it
might sting a little when it comes time to walk away. Now that I think about
everything he’s said, maybe the real truth is that he needs to know he’s
wanted. Perhaps he wants someone to stop him from walking away for once.

By the time I hear his bedroom door close, I’m off the
counter and jogging to his room. I push the door open just as he’s sitting on
the side of the bed, and I rip into him. “I’m not like any of these other women
you’ve been with Wesley Baxter. I know the risk. Yeah, it’s going to end, and
it’s probably going to suck for one or both of us. I get that. But for once,
you need to take ownership for the decisions made in your life. If you don’t
want this to go any further between us, then say so. If you do, I’m making it
abundantly clear to you that I want you. I want this. And if I end up hurt, so
be it.”

He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “You never
cease to amaze me. You know that? Every single time you call me out, I’m just
as dumbfounded as the first time. I mean, you’re standing there, only wearing
my boxers and looking hot as hell, and all you’re concerned about is setting me
straight.”

“I can’t help it if you’re a stubborn ass sometimes.”

“It takes one to know one,” he chuckles and looks up from
under his long fringe of lashes. “You want this. You’re sure.” It’s not a
question. Just a simple confirmation.

I’m a fan of actions speaking louder than words, so I give
the boxers one little tug, which is all the encouragement they need to fall to
the floor at my feet. “Are
you
sure?”

As Wes’ eyes rake over my body, his throat works, fighting
for one seemingly impossible syllable. His mouth opens and closes, but there’s
still no sound. All I get is a curt nod. Yes, my friends, I can finally say the
stone just cracked.

With my bravery fueled by the stunned look on his face, I
saunter toward him, but before I can make it halfway to the bed, he jumps up to
meet me in a kiss that has me forgetting everything. I forget the ticking time
bomb awaiting us. I forget the fact that it’s going to hurt like hell when it
detonates. All I can do is live in the now, to let the present consume me. If
we only have a short time together, I’m going to make sure every second is
worth it.

Lost in his kiss, I barely register that he’s staggering
backward toward the bed. He bends and hooks an arm around my back, picking me
up, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. I cling to him
helplessly until he lowers me onto the bed and settles in beside me. He urges
me closer until we’re just a tangle of limbs, and there’s not even a fraction
of a space between us.

Wes shocks me by cupping my cheek and kissing my forehead
and then the tip of my nose before his gaze finds mine. His eyes hold more than
lust. There’s admiration in there. There’s a raw sensuality that I wonder if
anyone has ever seen before. And unless I’m completely delusional, there’s a
hint of promise hiding in there, too.

Without a warning, I feel it all click into place, and I
have to swallow down the lump forming in my throat. He’s made it clear that the
moment he starts to feel something, he bolts, so if he’s registering at all
what I just felt, tonight is all we’ll ever have.

And given the urgency behind his next kiss, I know he
realizes it, too.

MY FEARS ARE confirmed when I wake
up alone. Even after being awake into the wee hours of the morning, he’s still
out of bed before seven o’clock, but I expected it. I knew he felt what I felt.
I could see it. He knew just as well as I did that it would be our first and
last night together, and he made it count. Several times.

But just because I saw it coming, it doesn’t make it any
less depressing. Then again, I guess I asked for it repeatedly, claiming I knew
exactly what I was getting myself into. Yeah, stupid, don’t feel so smart now,
do you?

Maybe I’m wrong. He could’ve just had trouble sleeping and
is watching television. Or he might be making breakfast for me. Or doing
laundry. Or . . . yeah.

“Don’t be so damn ignorant,” I growl at myself, rolling over
on my side. The little folded slip of paper on the nightstand is all I need to
know that I’ve been right all along. The realization of it settles into my
stomach like a lead ball.

Callie,

I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to get out and run some
errands. I have to go up to my folks’ house to pick up some stuff, too. I’m
going into the office this afternoon, so I’ll drop you by your place on the
way. If Shane happens to be going that way any earlier, he will take you. Feel
free to find something to wear in my closet if you want. Not sure when I’ll get
time to see you again, so if I don’t see you before you go home, have a good
week.

Wes

Wow. Well, that’s a brush-off if I’ve ever seen one. He’s
even trying to get out of taking me home? I thought this personality was long
gone, but it seems like Tall, Dark, and Moody just stepped back into the picture
with his walls fully reconstructed.

That’s fine, though. It’s better to deal with all of this
now before I really fall hard. Maybe, I shouldn’t fault him for pushing away so
quickly because, if he’d let this go on for a few months, I’d be bawling my eyes
out instead of just wanting to
claw
his out. Bastard.

I’m not going to inconvenience him by making him take me
home, either. I’ll just give Makenna a couple more hours of sleep, and I’ll
call and see if she’ll come get me. She’ll know something is up, but then
again, she’ll know anyway once she doesn’t see Wes coming around or calling me.
All I can do is try to make her think it was nothing more than a one night
stand—which I guess it actually was—and that Wes and I will remain friends,
nothing more.

See? I have it all worked out, so now I can go back to life
as I know it. Back to normal. Back to the way things were before he swooped in
and, in a matter of days, managed to change everything I thought I knew about
myself. He—and all of his stupid personalities—can just swoop right back out.

Okay, so I’m bitter.

I finally get the motivation to roll out of bed and put on
the t-shirt and boxers that he folded neatly and laid at the foot of the bed.
As I walk through the eerily quiet house, I take notice of the perfectly
annoying order that everything has been left in. I normally like everything to
be organized, but I can’t help but feeling like it’s all a ruse. He’s a control
freak on the outside to cover up the screwed up mess on the inside.

Deciding I need some caffeine before I go off the deep end,
I’m searching through the pantry for some coffee when I hear the crunch of
gravel under tires. I have to give him a little credit. I thought for sure he’d
be gone for hours before daring to show his face to see if I gave up and went
home.

When he doesn’t come through the door after a couple of
minutes, though, I decide to see what he’s up to and go to the door, ready to
jump the giant coward. But I don’t see him or his jeep. I only see the back of
a tall, thin woman as she walks toward her silver sedan.

“Excuse me, ma’am. Did you need something?”

She spins on her heel, clutching at her chest. “Oh dear
heavens. You scared me to death. I didn’t think anyone was home.”

I know who she is the moment I lay eyes on her. The dark
hair. The sharp facial structure. The curve of her mouth. She’s Wes’ mother.

“Wes isn’t here, no. Probably won’t be all day.”

Her eyes fall to the ground. “You know about me, don’t you?”

“Not really, but I know enough.”

“I heard he’s selling his house because I came here.” She
motions to the envelope she tucked into the wreath at the door. “I was hoping I
could convince him that he doesn’t have to do that. I won’t come here again. I
just thought . . .” She trails off, fighting emotion.

“I’ll make sure he sees it. He has this incredible ability
of making rash decisions without giving anything a chance of working out, so
don’t think it’s
just
you.”

Her dark eyes blink away some tears as they scrutinize me.
“Am I correct in assuming that you’re his girlfriend?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“Oh, since you’re here alone, I just guessed. Sorry.”

“No apology necessary. Wes and I are just friends.”

She starts to back away. “Please just make sure he sees the
note. I didn’t mean to freak him out by showing up here, and I don’t blame him
at all for how he feels about me. I deserve it all. I was just hoping that,
after all these years, I could reach out to him and make him understand why I
did it. I just wanted to see his face one time, to see the man he has become.
But I know I haven’t earned that right. I’m not his mom.”

I can see the pain in her eyes as she turns to her car and
starts to get inside. It’s the same pain I see on his face when he talks about
her—or rather,
refuses
to talk about her. “Wait a minute. Do you want to
see a picture of him?”

Her hand flies to her mouth and covers a smile. “You’d do
that for me?”

“Just a second.” I go back inside to find my cell phone,
bringing up the text that Makenna sent me last night. It contains a picture of
Wes and me that she took as soon as we arrived at the banquet last night.
Meeting her halfway down the sidewalk, I hold the picture out to her. “This was
taken just last night.”

Her hand covers her mouth again, but this time it’s to
muffle the soft sobs escaping her throat. “That’s him? It’s really him? He’s so
handsome. Oh, he has his dad’s eyes. And my cheekbones. He’s so . . .
so
perfect.”

Seeing her reaction to merely looking at a picture of him,
I’m almost as emotional. I don’t know the story. I don’t know why she hasn’t
been in his life all these years. Maybe he doesn’t really either. But her
emotion is real. Pure and gut-wrenching. Twenty-six years of sorrow and regret
is written on her face. And I can also see the unconditional love of a son that
she doesn’t even know.

I may be wrong for doing this, but Wes has already pissed me
off today, so I really don’t care. What would it hurt to make her day? “Do you
have a cell phone or email address I can send the picture to?”

She gasps. “Oh, honey. You don’t have to do that. I know he
wouldn’t want me to have it.”

I lay my hand on her forearm and look into her red, swollen
eyes. “I’m
in
the picture, so I’m part owner, and I want you to have it.
Maybe someday, down the road, you’ll get to see more than just an image on a
screen.”

“I won’t be coming around again,” she says, sniffling. “It
makes him uncomfortable, and I should’ve known he wouldn’t want anything to do
with me. But I would love to have that picture, so I can always remember that
he’s doing well and he’s happy.” She reaches into the car to get a card from
her purse. “This is my cell number and email address, but don’t give it to
Wesley. If you would, just save it in case the day comes that he might want to
see me.”

“I’ll do that. And I’ll send you the picture.”

“Thank you so much, dear.” She nods and turns back to her
car.

“Wait.” I step toward her as she turns around. “It’s really
none of my business, and you don’t have to answer, but . . . why? After
twenty-six years, why reach out to him now?”

She presses her lips into a grim line. “If I can come up
with a good answer to that, I’ll let you know.”

As I watch her pull out of the drive, I feel a deep chill
sweep over my skin. I have enough of my own crap to deal with, but something
about that woman makes me want to help her, to help mend that broken
relationship that wasn’t ever whole to begin with. Yeah, well, that would also
require Wes to put away his stubborn pride for five damn minutes, and I don’t
see that happening. Somehow, I think she already knows that.

“Hey, Mak,” I say into my phone, walking back into the
house. “Did I wake you?”

“Hmmm?”

“Nevermind. Go back to sleep. I’ll call you later.”

“Don’t you dare hang up the phone! Just give me a second to
find my brain.” Blankets rustle in the background and footsteps slap onto the
floor repeatedly. We have carpet in our bedrooms, so I’m guessing she didn’t
sleep at home last night. “Okay, I’m up and slightly coherent, so . . . give me
all the details. How was it?”

I groan. “Can we not go there right now? I promise to fill
you in on everything later, but I need a favor. Where are you?”

“Shane’s parents’ guest house. Since you and Wes bailed on
us last night, we just rode back with them. Shane’s car is here anyway. Why?”

“I guess he’s taking you home then, right?” Oh, I dread even
asking. “Can you pick me up from Wes’ on the way?”

She’s silent for half a beat. “Why? Uh, and why is Wes’
vehicle here?”

Time to play the “we’re adults and know exactly what we’re
doing” card. “Oh, he has some stuff to take care of today and mentioned he had
to swing by there, too. I just thought I’d catch a ride with you to save him
some time. Plus, I’d really like to get home and in my own clothes.”

“Well, okay. Ooh, I have an idea. Hang on.” Voices are
muffled by what sounds like her hand on the phone. “Be ready. We’re leaving
right now to pick you up.”

“Okay.” I barely manage to get the word out before the line
goes dead. I know her all too well. She’s way too excited, so I know she has
something up her sleeve.

While I wait, I email the picture to Wes’ mother, as
promised, and I straighten the house up a little. As much as I want to leave it
in a mess, I just don’t have it in me. And finally, I toss his t-shirt and
boxers into the hamper in the utility room, and slip back into my dress. I don’t
want to worry about returning them later, simply because we won’t have a
“later.”

“Here. Put these on real quick. Shane’s waiting in the car.”
Makenna shoves a pile of clothes at me as soon as I open the door. “Lucky for
you, I packed a few extra sets of clothes to bring with me to Shane’s parents’
house.”

“You rock, Mak,” I call out on my way to the bathroom to
change. Makenna and I have always shared shirts, but since she’s about four
inches taller, her jeans are way too long. Her flip-flops are a bit too big, as
well. But it’s way better than being stuck in that dress and heels any longer.

“It’s kinda weird seeing you here,” Makenna admits when I
walk back out. She jerks her head toward the hallway leading to the bedroom.
“Especially knowing what was going on back there last night.”

“How do you know we were in the bedroom?”

She jumps up from her seat on the couch and stares at it in
horror. “Oh, please . . . not where I was just sitting.”

I laugh out loud and shake my head. “You’re safe.”

“Well, are you going to give me
any
details? Come on.
Throw me a bone.”

“Okay, fine.” I roll my eyes. “It did finally happen.” I
jerk my head toward the room like she did. “In there. Four times.”

Her mouth falls open. “
Four
?! I didn’t even know that
was possible.”

“Not
everyone
is a newly devirginized saint,
Makenna.” She has said for years that she was waiting until she got married
before she had sex, and Shane has been surprisingly supportive of it, but she
finally caved a few months ago. We all know they’re going to end up married
anyway, so it was bound to happen.

She blushes deep crimson. “
My
sex life isn’t up for
discussion at the moment. Let’s go.”

I knew that would shut her up. I make sure the front door is
locked before following Makenna to the car. From the minute Shane’s eyes meet
mine, I know he’s dying to know what happened last night. He’s such a girl
sometimes. I’m guessing Wes didn’t give up any information this morning. But I
don’t have to say a word.

“Your brother is a slut.” Makenna can hardly contain herself.

Shane huffs out a little laugh. “Do I even want to know what
you’re referring to?”

I slide across the backseat and prop my elbows up on each of
their seats. “No. You don’t. Shut it, Makenna.”

When no one says anything else, I lean back to buckle my seatbelt,
and Shane pulls out on the main road. Before we can make it to the end of the
street, though, she practically explodes. “Four times!”