Every Glance (Every Life #3) (24 page)

“Why don’t you sit down and talk with me a minute?” he says, more of a demand than anything.

“Uh, okay. I can talk for a second.” I hear her footsteps thunk across the porch and stop just to the right of the door.

A coffee mug clanks on the glass end table. “I’d like to know what’s going on between you two. I have a hard time believing your motives are innocent after all these years.”

No. He’s not going to tell her. He can’t. I can’t let him. I have to be the one to explain it. I’m reaching for the doorknob when her words stop me dead in my tracks.

“Oh, God. Does he know who I am? Please tell me he doesn’t know.”

“Care to elaborate a little?” Sawyer questions.

“That I…you know…all of that back in high school. I suspected it was him at first, but it didn’t take long for me to know for sure. I knew I could never let him know who I am…was. I was a sorry excuse for a human being back then, but I swear it was because of Carter’s influence. I was a stupid, childish teenager, hell bent on getting him to love me. He’d ask me to do things. And I usually did. But there was one day that was the final straw.”

Sawyer huffs. “Oh, you mean the day that your antics sent Dalton to the hospital?”

“Please, let me explain. Carter told me it was just artificial flavoring that would make his drink taste bad. I didn’t know it, but he wedged the cafeteria door closed from the outside, so Dalton couldn’t leave. I could tell he was sick. He ran for the door and I knew he needed out, so I started pushing on it, trying to get Carter to open it. When he wouldn’t, Dalton ended up throwing up everywhere, even on me. He was so sick, and everyone just laughed. I went straight home and cried. I didn’t know what I put in his drink until later when I made Carter tell me. I told him that I would never do any of it again, no matter what.”

“And you ended up marrying that asshole.”

“I did, but I have no idea why. I guess I thought he’d grow up eventually.”

My hand falls off the knob and I slump against the wall. I don’t know what to do about what I just heard. Do I go out there and tell her I know who she is? Do I let her walk away?

“Just tell me. Does he know it was me or not?”

“I don’t think so,” Sawyer lies; although, I’m not sure why.

“Thank, God. I’ll tell him soon. I promise. I just can’t find a way to tell him yet. I’m afraid it’ll ruin everything. I know you don’t like me, and I don’t blame you, but I swear I’m not here to hurt him. I really, truly like him. Even more than that.”

“I just can’t make myself believe you right now, but I will give you a chance to prove it. He’s a brother to me, and I’m not going to sit back and watch you hurt him again.”

“I know, Sawyer. I won’t.”

Her footsteps trail off until they’re gone, and I finally take a whole breath for the first time in several minutes. I sneak back down the hallway and sit at the edge of the bed, trying to process this new information. I know we both have to come clean now. And I don’t know whether I should wait until she brings it up or try to go see her tonight to let her know I heard the whole conversation.

Either way, it needs to be done.

One would think I’d feel better, knowing that she knows who I am and doesn’t care at all. But I don’t. It’s dredged up a lot of insecurity and shit that I’ve kept locked away for so long. It makes me wonder now if she’s just seeing me as a way to clear her conscience. To make herself feel better after all she put me through.

And I don’t know how to find out for sure.

NOT A SINGLE word about it. All day.

Sawyer hasn’t mentioned his little conversation with Devyn this morning, nor has he said anything to me about catching her here. He’s acting completely normal.

Too normal.

I never went back to sleep, so I was awake when he came into my room at ten with a mug of coffee. I expected him to say something then, but he just said he was starving and wanted to go out to get some breakfast. By the time the three of us finished off nearly a dozen eggs, six pancakes, and three orders of hashbrowns, I was getting a little concerned about his silence.

I know Wes had no idea about it, so his normalcy wasn’t alarming, but Sawyer was trying too hard to avoid any conversations about last night, which didn’t make me feel like any less of a jackass for ruining his weekend. At least I
feel
like I ruined it.

I couldn’t take the charades anymore, so I opted to go for a run on the beach after we got back to the house. But both Sawyer and Wes decided to come along, too. I was glad for the company, but I was even more glad that Wes came along as a buffer. The suspense was killing me, but it became more and more apparent that Sawyer was waiting on me to admit that Devyn was here last night.

Even the entire trip home, he’s been quiet about it, which isn’t really Sawyer’s style. No hint-dropping. No mention of the girl I left them to call last night. Nada. Zero. Zilch.

As I roll closer to our city limits, I realize I’ll have the chance to talk to him about it after I drop Wes off because Sawyer’s car is at my house. At least I’m going to get chewed out in the comfort of my own home, I guess.

“Looks like I’ll have you home soon, Wes. I’ve heard your phone going off every five minutes since we left. I guess Callie is a little eager for you to be home.”

Half asleep in the back, Wes starts to mumble an answer, but Sawyer cuts him off.

“Actually, you can drop me off first. Callie took Mak over to get my car on Friday after we left. Her car has started making a ‘tick-tick’ noise, she says, so she’s been driving mine this weekend.”

“Oh, okay.” Damn it.

When I finally pull into Makenna’s drive twenty minutes later, Wes is snoring softly in the backseat, so I take it as my only chance to talk to Sawyer. We both get out and walk around to the trunk. Each of us grabbing a bag, we make our way up to the porch.

“You aren’t going to ask me about her?” I finally blurt out as we approach the front door.

“Nope. You clearly didn’t trust me enough to tell me you were seeing her again, so I don’t want you to tell me anything about it just because I know she was there last night.”

He’s still avoiding the conversation he had with her this morning, and right now, I’m perfectly okay with it. “Sawyer, listen. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I trust you with my life, man. I just didn’t think you’d understand.”

“Understand?” he repeats, dropping his bag and turning to me. “Oh, I understand. Believe me. I just don’t think you do. You only want to be with her because you’re seeking validation, wanting to prove to yourself that you’re finally somebody. You don’t need her approval to make a point, D. I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy to figure out that no one else’s opinion of you matters if you don’t have a good opinion of yourself.”

I shake my head. “I’m not looking for approval from her or trying to make a point. I like her. A helluva lot. Maybe, at first, I was excited that she was even talking to me, but it’s not like that now. Well, that’s not true either. I don’t know how I lucked into this thing with her, but it’s not because of my past with her. It’s because she’s exactly what I’ve needed. It may eventually fizzle out like a lot of other relationships I’ve had, but for the first time in my life, I really don’t think it will. I’m not looking for your blessing, Sawyer, but I don’t want you to be pissed at me for it either.”

“Look,” he says on a sigh. “I don’t mean to be an ass about it. I just don’t like where this is headed, but I don’t guess it’s me that has to like it. I won’t say another word about it, but for the love of God, don’t make me say ‘I told you so.’”

“I won’t.”

“I hope not.” Sawyer claps a hand on my back. “Thanks for this weekend, brother. I had a damn good time, and I’d like to do it again. Maybe in the spring.”

“Absolutely,” I agree. “No women next time, I promise.”

He shrugs. “Aww, I don’t know. Maybe they’ll come with us next time. It could be fun.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I turn to go but remember my duties as a best man. “Oh, don’t forget that we have to try the tuxes on Wednesday. The tailor just finished them. And Mak’s wedding band should be in tomorrow, so I’ll go pick it up. Call me if you think of anything else that needs done.”

“Thanks, man.”

I nod and jump off the porch, skipping two steps.

“Hey, D?”

“Hmm?”

He hefts both of his bags over his shoulder and is paused halfway through the door. “Bring her around and give us all a chance to see what you do, okay? We’ll all be together a lot this week, and you already RSVP’d a plus one for the wedding. Bring her and prove me wrong.”

I smile.
This
is why he’s my best friend. Even if he doesn’t agree with everything I do, he tries to support me. “I will. Thanks.”

After I drop Wes off and make my way home, I spend the next hour cleaning my car out and getting my laundry started. By the time I’m throwing the first load into the dryer, it hits me that I haven’t heard from Devyn this afternoon. I’m pretty sure she told me that she’d text me when she was leaving, but I haven’t had any messages yet. It’s almost five-thirty, so if she left when she said she was, she should’ve been home over half an hour ago.

Fighting a sinking feeling in my gut, I dig my phone out of my pocket and bring up her number. Surely, that talk with Sawyer didn’t change her mind about me. From what she told him, I think she still sounded pretty determined to see me, but maybe he made her feel bad.

Whatever the problem is, I want to fix it. I think it’s time to come clean.

Both of us.

I punch her number and sit on the edge of the couch, counting the rings until her voicemail picks up. “Devyn, hey, I haven’t heard from you and want to make sure you’re okay. Can you give me a call? I’d like to see you for a few minutes tonight.”

After I hang up, my mind starts racing, questioning why she didn’t answer, why she didn’t text me earlier like she said she would. I run through a million different scenarios of everything that could’ve happened. Maybe she did change her mind. Maybe Sawyer made her realize she was only trying to clear her conscience. Maybe there was an accident of some kind, and she’s hurt.

All I know is that I can’t sit here and wait to find out.

I swipe my keys and wallet off the counter and head out to my car. I peel out of the driveway with a little more gusto than usual and fly down the highway back into town until I find the subdivision that she lives in.

Holy shit, a lot of people live here. I drive around each block slowly, looking for any cars that look like hers or for Simon playing in the yard. But I don’t see anything. Most of the garages are closed and most of the backyards are protected by privacy fences.

I pull into a cul-de-sac and stop to check my phone again, but there’s still nothing, so I’m on to plan B. I bring up a search engine and type in her name. I feel a little on the stalker side about it, but I have to figure out where she is and, at least, drive by to make sure she made it home safely.

While waiting for the results to appear, a peck on my driver’s side window almost makes me throw my phone into the floorboard.

I crank the handle to roll my window down. “Hey, buddy. You scared the crap out of me. Where’d you come from?”

He thumbs toward the house right behind him. A two-story brick home with tall, white columns flanked by perfectly trimmed hedges along each side. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I just wanted to make sure your mom made it home safely, and she didn’t answer my call, so I was trying to figure out where you live.”

He looks back over his shoulder. “You can park here. The Whitworth’s are gone out of town for the week. I know because they’re paying me to feed their cats.”

“Oh, okay.” I tug my keys until they fall out of the ignition and get out of the car to follow Simon up to the house. It’s not until we walk all the way up that I notice another car behind a row of tall cypress at the side. “Whose car is that?”

“My dad’s. Don’t worry, though. He’s inside talking to my mom, so we’ll just go wait in the backyard until he leaves. Mom told me not to come back inside until he’s gone anyway because they’re fighting.”

Oh, hell no. I’m not hanging out here with Carter Jenson in the house. That’s a blast from the past I can live without. “I don’t think I should be here right now if your dad is. He probably wouldn’t like it too much, and I don’t want to cause any more problems for you and your mom, okay? After you dad leaves, just let your mom know that I came by.”

“Can I go with you?” Simon asks. “Dad’s kinda in a bad mood, and I don’t want to stay here. I wanted to call Aunt Aiden to pick me up, but I’d have to go inside to use the phone. Please?”

I squat down to his level and look him right in the eyes. “Are you scared of your dad?”

He shrugs. “He won’t hurt me.”

“But would he hurt your mom? I don’t mean hurt her feelings. I mean
hurt
her.”

Simon’s eyes fall to the ground. “Not all the time. Just when he’s real mad.”

“Like he is today?”

He shrugs again. “Maybe.”

“Come with me to my car.” I grab his hand and walk back across the street with him and around the passenger side, opening the door. “Hop in. My phone is in the seat. Do you know your aunt’s number?”