“Has she let you in to see her?”
“No.” My voice sounded odd to my own ears.
“Has the doctor told you when she can come home?”
“He told her parents that she could go home this evening. Her Dad relayed the message to me when he was here earlier. Apparently Em told Dr. Monroe that I wasn’t to be given any more information.”
He sucked in a breath. “Ouch man. I’m sorry.”
I just nodded in response and dipped my head back down.
“Did she tell Richard if she was coming back home to your place?”
I shook my head. “No.”
We sat in silence for five minutes before Ky slapped my back and stood up. “When was the last time you had something to eat, or got any sleep?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Two days ago I guess, but I’ve dozed off now and then.”
“Well there’s not a whole lot going on right now, so why don’t you take a walk with me down to the cafeteria and we’ll get a coffee and a bite to eat.”
I was going to say I was fine, but Ky gave me a look that said he would toss my raggedy ass over his shoulder and march me down there if he had to. I didn’t have it in me to argue with him. Getting up from my chair, I stretched. My muscles ached worse than if I’d just done a hardcore workout.
“Good boy.” He patted me on the head like a puppy.
I shook him off. “Ass.” He chuckled.
Walking past the nurses’ station I overheard a man asking for Emilyn and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning around, I took him in. He was a tall, brown haired man, dressed in a suit and expensive shoes. The nurse asked who he was and he told them that his name was Weston and he was her husband. The nurse said that Ms. Tucker hadn’t listed a husband on her medical chart, but she’d gladly call down to her room to see if she was available for any visitors. When she hung up the phone she told him the room number and pointed in the direction of Em’s room. He walked past Kyler and me, tipping his head in a nod as he walked by.
I saw red.
What the fuck was that little pencil-dick doing here? He wasn’t her husband anymore. Better yet, if the nurse called down to Em, why had she said that it was okay for him to see her, when she wouldn’t even let me in the room? I followed him down the hall. Ky wasn’t too far behind me. Weston reached Em’s room, stopped and knocked. I heard her voice through the door telling him to come in. Swallowing hard and wondering what was going to happen I crept closer to the door that he’d left slightly ajar, but stayed off to the side and out of view.
“Hello Emilyn.” His voice was cool—probably his lawyer voice that he used with his clients.
“What are you doing here West?” She didn’t even
sound
like herself.
“That’s a good fucking question. What
are
you doing here asshat?” Harper’s voice was venomous.
“Asshat?” Ky whispered behind me. “What the fuck? That’s my name.”
“Shut up Ky.” I said quietly.
“I got a phone call while I was in the office yesterday. A woman named Aubrey contacted my secretary to let me know you were in the hospital and had lost the baby.”
“That mother fucking hairy cunt ass Cheeto! I’m going to kill her!” Harper spat, her voice carrying down the hall. A few nurses wandering the halls stopped to look down at us.
Kyler chuckled by my side. Of course the love-struck idiot would think that was cute. I tensed at the news. How in the world had Aubrey of all people heard? I’d forgotten how fast news spreads in a small town. Someone had probably seen us waiting for the ambulance and Em bleeding. I’d known Aubrey didn’t care for Em, but the fact that she felt the need to lash out and call West in Chicago? That was crossing a line. If Harper didn’t get a hold of her before me, there would be hell to pay for this one.
“Harper, enough.” Em was too calm, and it made me uneasy.
“It would appear that the information relayed was correct.” The asshole was so formal.
“Yes. I lost our son.”
There was a short period of silence.
“You know that it was a boy?”
“That’s what I was told.” She was so cold in the way she spoke about it. Detached and distant.
“Hmmm, I see. Were you planning on telling me about this?”
“It just fucking happened. And pardon me that you aren’t the first phone call on her list of people that needed to know. I’m pretty sure you lost that right when you stuck your dick in that whore of an interior decorator!” Harper yelled.
“I don’t believe I was talking to you,
Harpy
. If you would take your crude mouth and leave, I’d like to have a talk with Emilyn.”
“I’m going to give you two seconds to run before I…”
Harper couldn’t finish that sentence because Kyler plowed past me and went into the room. I followed behind him and saw that he already across the room moving Harper out of the way and getting up in West’s face. I’ll give the guy credit, because he didn’t flinch or back down. Shocking since I always thought West would be some pansy lawyer that sat in his high-rise behind his desk, never getting his hands dirty. Well that, and Kyler was a big mother fucker. Not as big as me, but certainly intimidating.
“You might want to watch the way you’re talking to my girl here.”
Harper gasped. “Your girl?” She asked in shock at hearing this news.
Ky made a quick glance over his shoulder. “Quiet woman, we’ll talk later.”
West cleared his throat. “If you two are done with your little domestic dispute, I’m trying to have a civilized conversation here.”
“I’m about to shove my civilized foot up your ass!” Ky’s tone was clipped.
“Enough.” Em said from the bed. “Back off Kyler. Down Harper.” Then her attention turned to me. “What are you doing in here Finn? You’re not welcome.”
Okay that one stung and I winced. I watched as the realization of who I was spread across West’s face.
“Finn? As in ‘high school Finn’? The one that left you high and dry after graduation?”
“Yes, the one and only.” She clipped.
West chuckled. It grated my nerves like they were being pulled across a micro-grater.
“Why is he here?”
She looked at me. “I don’t know.”
“I’m with her, dick.” I gritted through my teeth.
“No you’re not.” She said with cold empty eyes.
“You just couldn’t stand being alone, could you Emilyn?” West asked.
“About as much as you felt the need to have two women at your beck and call, Weston.” She enunciated his name.
I couldn’t help the smirk on my face.
“Fair enough.” His tone was dismissive, like what she said didn’t matter to him. “Let’s talk business. I came here because I want you to sign these papers stating that I am no longer required to pay you any form of child support. In addition, any support that I have paid you thus far shall be returned to me in full.”
My jaw hit the floor. He actually came all the way out here to tell her that he wanted his money back? She’d
just
lost their baby and he was acting like none of that mattered. I felt Ky move up behind me. My blood was boiling and my fists balled at my sides.
“Fine.” And just like that, she gave in to him.
“What? Em, no. He doesn’t get to come in here demanding that you sign papers. He’s treating you like a court case. You just lost your baby!” I felt myself getting more and more frustrated at her lack of emotion.
“Isn’t that what this is? I lost the baby, and he’s doing what he feels is necessary.” She said.
“Jesus Emilyn, snap out of it! You’re acting like you don’t even care.”
“Finn…” Harper scolded.
I turned to look at her and she shook her head, silently telling me to drop it. Christ, I needed to hit something.
“Look, I don’t have all day, so if you could sign where I put the tabs I can leave.” West pulled out a small folder of papers from a briefcase I hadn’t noticed he had been carrying.
Ah, that’s just what I was looking for. I cocked my fist and brought it forward with the full force of my body. My knuckles normally would be aching after hitting something that hard but the anger-fueled adrenaline coursing through me was had made me numb. I was sure I’d feel it later though. West on the other hand, he’d be feeling my fist for at least a week. He fell backwards and slammed into the wall. I darted forward and was about to straddle him and continue my assault when a strong arm locked around my shoulders and pulled me back. Ky was using everything he had to hold me in place. I was vaguely aware of the commotion going on behind me, but I was focused on the now cowering prick in front of me.
“Finn, man stop! Relax dude.” Ky was speaking lowly close to my ear.
“You son of a bitch. I’m going to sue your sorry ass for this!” West struggled to get to his feet. He spat blood on the ground and wiped his face with the back of his hand.
“I suggest you leave before you get it even worse than you’ve already had it dickhead.” I had half a mind to choke him. “Send the fucking papers to her lawyer. Now get… the fuck…
OUT
.”
“This isn’t the last you’ll hear from me. I hope you have damn good representation.” West glared at me and turned to walk out the door.
Before he was fully out in the hall he called over his shoulder, “Julia will be glad that this whole mess is over and done with. I’ll be sure to tell her you said hi Emilyn.” With that he walked away.
Kyler had to catch Harper around the waist because she was on her way out the door, likely to kill the bastard. I watched Em as those hateful words were said. She flinched, but quickly regained her composure.
“I want you all to leave.” Em spoke quietly.
Harper sighed and walked to the bed. She leaned down to hug her and said something in her ear. Em nodded. Ky took a hold of Harper’s hand and led her out of the room.
“You too Finn.”
“Talk to me Tiny Girl. What is going on in your head right now?”
For a second she looked as though she was about to say something to me but, as quickly as the look appeared, it was gone.
She shook her head, “I’m just tired right now. This was all too much.”
And she did look tired. I wanted nothing more than to take her home and tuck her up in bed—in our bed—and hold her tight to me.
I walked over and sat down next to her. I debated whether or not to take her hand, but thought better of it. I would just be happy with her allowing me to sit next to her, since I hadn’t even been allowed in the room for two days.
“Do you want to talk about what just happened?”
“I don’t think there is anything to talk about.”
“Em, you have to feel something about what West just said to you. You’re acting as if…” She interrupted me.
“I’m acting as if what?”
“As if you don’t care. Like none of this matters. I know you have to be feeling
something
about this Tiny Girl. Nobody just loses their baby and then doesn’t feel anything. Please, just talk to me.”
Fuck it.
I grabbed her hand and held it tight. I had no idea what to do about this situation, other than to plead with her. Nobody could just shut off their feelings.
“I do care Finn.” She took a deep shaky breath. “It care so much that I feel like I can’t breathe.” I was about to say something, when she continued. “This wasn’t supposed to be my life. You know? No little girl grows up predicting something like this will happen to her. I never wanted to get married to a man that would speak to me the way that Weston just did. I never wanted to get pregnant and then lose my baby. I just keep sitting here playing it out in my head, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. You want to know where I keep coming back to? You Finn. I keep coming back to you. I was happy when I was with you. My life was going exactly where I wanted it to. But then you left me.” She looked down at our joined hands and then released me. “My life has gone to shit since you left. And you know what? It’s still shit with you in it. If you’d stayed with me, I would have never met West. If you would have stayed with me, I would have never gotten pregnant.”
She was ripping me in two, and I sat there taking it all because I knew I deserved it. She was finally letting me have it all.
“I blame
you
Finn. None of this would be happening to me if it weren’t for
you
.”
And there it was. She had gutted me. The sad thing was that it was the truth. Everything she’d just said was exactly what I had felt since I set eyes on her at the reunion. Everything that had happened with Val and West was just the icing on the shitty cake called her life.
“I’ll never be able to tell you just how sorry I am because sorry will never be enough. I know it may not seem like it right now, but we will get through this together. I told you before that I’ll hold you together for as long as it takes. Just stay with me. Let me be with you Tiny Girl. I love you.”
She wiped a stray tear from her cheek.
“I can’t Finn. I want to, but I just can’t.”
As much as I wanted to sit here and push her, I knew without a shadow of a doubt she was done. It didn’t mean that I was giving up on her—on us—but it meant that I needed to give her time. She was retreating into herself to protect her heart. This façade she was showing was one she needed for healing. And I loved her that much that I’d let her have that.