Even Odds (12 page)

Isabel nodded, the breath knocked out of her by arousal, which was ratcheting up to apocalyptic levels far too quickly. She felt Caleb's thighs on the inside of hers, then his cock nudging against her, before he moved forward and slid all the way into her pussy.

She clenched so tightly on his cock he made a strangled gasp behind her.

“You—you okay?” she asked, her voice little more than a breathy moan.

“Yes, just . . . just surprised me. You're tight.” His voice sounded strained. “And you're actually vibrating a little around me.”

Isabel laughed, as much as she could laugh at the moment. “Don't stop, please.” The combination of the vibrations on her clit with the thick press of his cock was nearly enough to drive her over the edge right there. With long, slow strokes, he slid into her over and over again, hitting all the right spots with each deep plunge, and Isabel could only cling to the bedsheets and squeeze her eyes shut against the onslaught of sensation. Her arms wobbled, then gave out, her upper body collapsing down onto the bed. Caleb dropped from his hands to his elbows and the long line of his belly pressed into her back. She could feel him hot over her, his skin on hers, sliding against her as he fucked her into the mattress. She rocked her hips with each thrust to get more sensation against her clit and to feel the angle of his penetration change, making him hit her G-spot each time. She hadn't known sex could be like this. Orgasms were fun, of course, but she hadn't expected this all-consuming hunger, this overwhelming need, the world reduced to the hard slide of his cock and the merciless vibrations against her clit.

There seemed to be no air in the room anymore, just a vacuum, and she gasped each time he drove into her. She wanted to speak, to moan, to sigh, to tell him how amazing she felt, but nothing came to her mouth but gasps. Her body felt balanced on the precipice of some great cliff, her orgasm a plunge just out of reach, and each stroke of his cock pushed her closer to that edge. The tension built inside her, like all the sensation in her body was concentrated down to one precise spot, coiling low and deep and suddenly huge inside her as she exploded. The world went white, an endless universe of light, and she was lost.

She didn't usually completely lose herself during sex, but when she came to awareness again, the Magic Wand had been turned off and Caleb was no longer inside her. Isabel flipped over, a bit bleary, rolling off the vibrator. Her hips and thighs felt stretched and sore, but not unpleasant. Actually, her body felt heavy and loose, sleepy and languid, and she just wanted to curl up and rest in that feeling for a while.

“You doing all right?” Caleb brushed his hand against her face, a look of concern in his eyes. She could get used to staring into those eyes.

“Mmm-hmm.” Isabel nodded, smiling. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah, for me, too.” Caleb ran a hand through his short hair. “I should clean up.” He disposed of the condom with his back to her, then slipped his boxers back on from the pile on the floor. When he came back and sat next to her, his eyes looked sad, and she drew him down to kiss him. His sadness reminded her that things were ending, and she wasn't ready. He went to her willingly but pulled away before she was ready.

“So that was nice.” Her words sounded lame, a pitiful attempt at some kind of wrap-up. Already he seemed distant from her, and she wanted that closeness, wanted it in a way she'd never wanted it before, and the gaping emptiness inside her seemed too large to contain.

“Yeah. Better than nice.” He stared at her for a moment, just watching her, before pulling his jeans back on and tugging his shirt down over his head. “I'm going to miss this.”

It was the first acknowledgment between them that this was their last time together. Even though they both accepted their parting as inevitable, hearing him put words to it made it suddenly real. Isabel knew then with certainty that she was losing something. The knowledge made her heart feel too big for her chest, almost as though it were pressing into her throat and making breathing difficult.

Caleb walked around to her side of the bed and handed her the pile of clothes from the floor. Her jeans slipped out of his grasp, hung from the bed by one leg, upside down, and he scooped them up the rest of the way. As he did so, a folded piece of paper in her back pocket fell out onto the floor.

Isabel knew what it was immediately, but didn't think much of the ramifications until she saw it in Caleb's hand. She automatically lunged forward, grabbing for it with a desperation she couldn't fully describe. It was vitally important that he not read that paper.

Her panic and desperation must have shown in her eyes, because he held on to the paper, puzzled. “What's this?” He opened it.

She knew what he would read there, the items on the scavenger hunt list, all typed out and photocopied on the downstairs printer. She held her clothes to her chest, wanting to be less naked, wanting to be anywhere else but there. As he read, his eyes grew hard, his dimples disappearing as his half smile faded. After a moment, he looked at her, and disbelief was etched into his face. “Really?”

“It's just something stupid the guys I'm here with came up with.” That sounded so defensive. “It's not why I'm here with you.”

“Oh yeah?” He pressed his lips together in a thin white line, glancing back at the list. “Gee, fifteen points for fooling around in the convention center. What a convenient thing to award points for. And taking somebody back to your hotel room, wow! Ten points. Fantastic.” He threw the list at her. “Fuck, Isabel, is that all you've been doing with me this whole time? Just trying to beat your friends at some stupid game?”

Isabel's eyes pricked with tears. She wouldn't cry. Crying was weak, and she wasn't weak. She could be strong. Well, she could be strong if she could stop her lip from wobbling, but pressing her teeth together did little to stop it. She blinked fast, trying to modulate her breathing, to calm her racing heart, so when she spoke, her voice wouldn't tremble. “No. It wasn't like that. I admit, it started out that way, but I don't even care about that anymore. I just wanted to be with you.”

“Well, congratulations. You were with me.” He sat down on the bed, pulling one shoe on, his back to her. “Hope it was worth it.”

She didn't know what to say to make it better. She just sat there on the bed, holding her clothing against her as if it were some kind of emotional shield, rather than just a shield for her nakedness, wishing the bed would open up and swallow her so she didn't have to face this anymore. Things shouldn't end between them like this. “Caleb, I'm sorry. The list doesn't mean anything. It was a stupid joke. It doesn't change what we had together this weekend.”

“We didn't have anything together this weekend. Nothing real.” He pulled on his second shoe and tied it, his words muffled as he was bent over. Then he stood up and turned to her. “It was nice meeting you, Isabel.” Without waiting for her to end their conversation or respond in any way, he grabbed his hoodie and left the hotel room.

———

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Caleb
paid no attention to the falling snow as he tromped back across the pedestrian bridge to his hotel, hands thrust into his pockets and breath fogging in the cold air. He should have known this was all a ruse. Here he'd been, ready to tell her he was falling for her, and she'd been using him for a stupid game the whole time. Of course, looking back, it all made sense. Her eagerness to get him into bed, even right after meeting him, her desire to fool around on convention center property when they could get caught, even bringing him back to her hotel room tonight. Did they even do anything that wasn't on the list? Maybe “have your partner find your sex toy” was on there, too, and he'd just missed it. Fuck her. Fuck all of it.

He stopped halfway across the pedestrian bridge, just like he had on Thursday night after the first time they slept together, when he'd walked her home. How swiftly things change. Just two days earlier, he'd been reminding himself not to get emotionally attached, that this was only a temporary weekend in between the more permanent fixtures of his life. If only he'd heeded his own advice. Sex wasn't supposed to be complicated; it was supposed to be a fun experience that was mutually enjoyed and then promptly forgotten. He'd stuck to that mantra ever since Katie broke his heart, and it hadn't yet steered him wrong.

He closed his hands around the handrail of the pedestrian bridge, the snow-covered metal cold even through his calloused palms, and peered down at the light traffic below. It wasn't nearly so late as when he'd done this on Thursday, and tonight was a Saturday night, so the highway flowed with a steady stream of cars and trucks despite the snow. Caleb watched them without seeing. If he really thought sex with Isabel was so meaningless, then it shouldn't matter that she had been treating it as a game the whole time. But it hadn't been meaningless to him. It hadn't been meaningless at all. He liked her, dammit, and now he couldn't even remember her without remembering that stupid scavenger hunt. Also, his hoodie smelled like her, and he kept getting whiffs of her perfume from under his jacket, his body reacting to the smell with longing and a hint of arousal rather than the appropriate feelings of indignation.

Stuffing his chilled hands back into his jacket pockets, he started back toward his hotel again. In the time since he'd walked this path with Isabel, over an inch of snow had accumulated. He scuffed it out of the way as he walked, a few flakes soaking through the tops of his sneakers. He'd enjoyed her company. And maybe he wasn't just angry, but also kind of hurt, because he was thinking about getting to know her better and she had been using him for fucking
points.
He didn't even know what the prize was. Hopefully it was something good, to make this all worthwhile.

Or maybe he was
actually
mad because she'd gotten one over on him, and he wasn't a man easily tricked. Caleb walked through the revolving door into the lobby of the Marriott and straight to the elevator, the warm air on his face as startling as the cold had been. How dare she? He was supposed to be the experienced partner, luring the shy geek girl out of her shell and teaching her about pleasure. As he thought about it, though, he couldn't help snorting with derision. It felt egotistical, even to him. He was a modern man; he didn't mind if a woman had more power than him or made more money than him, and he certainly didn't mind if she knew her way around the bedroom. But he'd been so confident that he understood his dynamic with Isabel, and to find out it was all just a ruse had blindsided him.

The doors opened on his floor and he walked to his room, wishing for the umpteenth time that he were here with Henry so they could get drunk and curse women. Getting drunk alone in his room on minibar liquor was not only expensive but pretty sad. Instead, he slipped out of his snow-damp jacket and sneakers and flopped down on the bed. His phone was quiet, no missed calls. Of course, Isabel didn't have his number. He reached over to the nightstand and picked up the piece of convention center stationery on which Isabel had written her number, looking at the loops of her handwriting. With a grimace, he crumpled it up and lobbed it in the direction of the trash can. It probably missed, but he couldn't be bothered to check.

The hell with Isabel. She wanted to use him for a weekend and then forget him? Fine. He pulled his laptop over onto the bed. He'd picked up codes for some indie games; maybe a few hours gaming would help him relax and unwind. Without thinking, he logged into his email to give it a quick scan.

He had a new email from Will at PI Games that looked to have come in while he'd been with Isabel.

Hi Caleb! I had hoped to be getting in contact earlier, but business has been hectic with part of my team away at DiceCon. I'd love to discuss the job with you further. Please let me know when's a good time to call.

—
Will

Caleb stared at the email, waves of excitement and horror crashing down on him at the same time. Will wanted to talk. This was really happening. Caleb was going to get a job offer at PI Games. This kind of email didn't precede a “we gave the job to someone else” chat. The only reason Will wanted to talk was to discuss terms. He had completely written off this possibility, squashing any hope as false hope, and now the reality was staring him in the face.

A pang hit him as he realized that Isabel Suarez was no longer a stranger from a weekend fling for whom he'd developed misplaced and unrequited feelings. She was his new coworker. His new coworker who didn't like mixing business with pleasure, who didn't usually have anonymous flings, who let herself go only with the understanding that she was fucking a stranger. She was going to think he knew the whole time that they'd be working together, and she was going to hate him.

He ran both hands through his hair, pulling at it, the warring emotions making him nauseated. Finally, he took a few deep breaths, calming his racing heart. Isabel had been using him for a scavenger hunt. He hadn't mentioned that he'd applied for a job at her company. Maybe this made them even.

With steadier hands, Caleb tapped out a response.

Thanks for the email, Will. I'm available to talk Sunday until 6 p.m
.
or anytime on Monday. Looking forward to hearing more.

Taking a deep breath, Caleb hit
Send.

The last hours of
the convention on Sunday found Isabel drumming her fingers on the stupid Ikea display case and watching the crowds dwindle. Matthew probably knew something was wrong, judging by the way he kept glancing over at her, but he didn't ask and Isabel didn't volunteer. She still felt uncomfortable and ashamed that she'd taken advantage of Caleb like that, even if it wasn't supposed to be more than fun between them. She'd been clear about that all along, right? This was just supposed to be a lark, an exciting weekend fling that ended with memories and no hard feelings. She couldn't forget how he'd looked at her before he left, though, and the unmistakable hurt in his eyes. She'd never caused that kind of hurt in another person, and it felt like shit.

“So, Lloyd was in a pissy mood today.” Matthew pulled up a chair behind the front table and cast a sidelong glance at Isabel.

“Fuck Lloyd.” Isabel traced a finger across the grain of the fake wood display.

Matthew huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, fuck Lloyd. It's kind of nice to see him unsettled. He's always so smooth and suave. Dan said he was grousing all morning about the contest being rigged from the start.”

Right, the contest. Isabel didn't want to think about the stupid contest. If it hadn't been for this contest, she'd have had a nice, quiet con, maybe even slept with Caleb without ulterior motives. Of course that wasn't true, and she would never have made a move if it weren't for the added incentive, but it sucked that she couldn't even lie to herself about it. She made a noncommittal noise and peeled a piece of the laminate off a corner.

“Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?”

Isabel looked over at Matthew. Apparently “not bringing it up” lasted for most of the afternoon, but not the whole day. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“Sad about leaving your guy behind?”

Isabel picked at the laminate more viciously. “I said I don't want to talk about it.”

Matthew shrugged. “Fine, suit yourself. But look alive. There's a few more people coming this way and I don't want to bring these shirts home.” He got to his feet and straightened his lanyard, ready to approach the potential customers with a beaming smile.

Isabel managed not to act like a total wet blanket for the rest of the con, but it was a struggle. She didn't see Caleb, of course. Not surprising. It was pretty easy to avoid someone at a con if they were staying in one place like she was. She caught herself whipping her head around every time she saw one of those garish yellow shirts, but it was never him. If he was on the convention center floor that day, he was avoiding her. On one hand, she wished he would find her so she could apologize. On the other hand, though, his staying away meant she could avoid any awkward conversations and just escape the conflict altogether. The whole situation was ridiculous. Her talents lay in game design, not confusing interpersonal relations. This is why she didn't date. Her mother's advice had been sound: focus on her career; relationships could wait.

“Well, that's the last of it,” Matthew said as the doors closed to the lobby and security began herding people toward the exits. He scanned their space. “We did pretty well. Not much to ship back. Do you have our numbers?”

Isabel opened the app on her iPad. “Both
Squish
sales and
Frost Prince
preorders are a little above Will's projections.”

“Nice.” Matthew looked at the numbers on her screen, nodding his appreciation. Then he patted her on the back, his hand rubbing between her shoulder blades. “You did well, dude. First DiceCon, first time in the snow, and you even got laid. Not a bad trip, right?”

“I guess not.” It was hard to feel bad with Matthew's beaming smile.

“That's the spirit.” Matthew started to take down their displays. “Dan and I were talking about getting dinner all together tonight. One last hurrah before we fly out tomorrow morning, back to the real world. You in?”

“Sure, sounds good.” An evening without Caleb would be nice. She rolled up one of the display posters and fed it into its tube. “At least I get a first-class ticket out of all this.”

“Better you than Lloyd.” Matthew rolled his eyes. “Now come on, give me a hand with these tables.”