Even Odds (21 page)

Isabel didn't know what
she had thought would happen Monday, but the answer was: nothing. Caleb treated her exactly the same way he did their other colleagues, no more or less familiar, with a casual courtesy that was both friendly and professional. He interacted with her when their jobs required it, such as in the morning status update meetings about their project, but otherwise ignored her altogether. No one who saw them would know they'd spent the night together. That was exactly what she wanted, so her general feeling of unease made no sense whatsoever.

She was sitting in the lunchroom, staring down at her rice and beans with a vague sense of displeasure, when Matthew slid into the seat next to her with his insulated lunch bag. “Hey. Mind if I eat with you?”

“Sure.” Isabel took another forkful of food.

Matthew wasted no time, starting in on her before she'd even finished chewing. “You gonna tell me what's up with you?”

Isabel tried to keep her expression neutral, but she could tell from Matthew's raised eyebrow that she'd failed. Maybe if she took a really long time to finish this bite, he'd forget what he'd asked and move on to another question or to his own lunch. No luck. He waited patiently until she'd chewed the mouthful into a paste and swallowed.

“Can I just lie to you and have you leave me alone about it?” Isabel made a pattern in her rice with her fork, scooping a shallow divot into the center of the Pyrex container.

“Only if you'll stop moping around like someone died.” Matthew began unwrapping his sandwich, then paused. “Oh shit, no one died, did they? God, I'd feel like such an asshole.”

Isabel shook her head. “No, no one died.” She continued eating, but Matthew waited her out. Damn, couldn't he just pretend nothing was wrong? “Are you trying to be my gay friend relationship counselor or something?”

“I just know you're upset, so I want you to fix it and stop wandering around like a zombie.” He kept watching her even while he started eating his sandwich.

“What does it matter? It's not affecting my work performance.” She was certain of that; she analyzed every interaction with Caleb, making sure she was as appropriate as she could be.

As though summoned by her thoughts, the door to the break room swung open and Caleb walked in, midway through conversation with Phil. Isabel felt a dropping sensation in her stomach and throat. To cover it, she looked back down at her food and stuffed another forkful into her mouth. Matthew watched the entire process, his eyes narrowed in focus as Isabel searched for another topic of conversation. “How was your weekend?” she asked, and even to her own ears, it sounded forced.

“Fine, fine. I went on a blind date with this guy, turns out he lives in the same apartment complex I do. What are the odds, right?” Matthew shrugged.

His talk of odds reminded her of her night with Caleb, a pleasant memory turned slightly sour with the haste of her departure on Saturday morning. Isabel found herself nodding too vehemently, bobbing her head like a pigeon. “Right. What are the odds? So are you going to see him again?”

“I don't think so. No chemistry.” Matthew didn't elaborate. Even this conversation felt like an uncomfortable intimacy. Matthew was the kind of friend she hung out with at work, but never outside of work. She didn't even know about his social life, his family, any of that. Come to think of it, she didn't know much about any of her coworkers. She wasn't the type of person to form close friendships; she had a few acquaintances that she would get coffee with, or maybe catch a movie, but no besties, no bosom chums. Maybe that was why this situation with Caleb felt so awkward. She wanted to hang out with him again, but had no idea whether that was appropriate or not.

Caleb and Phil left the break room, still chatting, each carrying his lunch from the fridge. When they left, Isabel felt her shoulders relax. She felt uncomfortably aware of Matthew's close attention.

He put his sandwich down to crack open a soda. “You know, you're supposed to disclose office relationships to HR.”

Isabel fumbled her fork and recovered. “I'm not in an office relationship.”

Matthew gave her his best “I'm not stupid” look as he took a big gulp of soda. “You want to try that again?”

“Matthew. There is nothing between me and Caleb. We had sex a few times. We don't have a relationship.” She aggressively shoveled some food into her mouth, eyes down at the table so she could pretend she wasn't a big ball of embarrassment.

“Okay.”

Isabel looked up. She'd been expecting more of a fight. “That's it?”

“Yeah, that's it.” Matthew shrugged and switched back to his sandwich. “You want to keep things private, that's your business. But your mopey face isn't very private, just so you know.”

Isabel frowned.

“Yeah, that face.” Matthew gestured to her with his sandwich. “Are you sure you're all right? I'm asking as a friend here. I can pretend to be your gay relationship counselor if that would help.”

Isabel shook her head, not wanting to explain. “I'm fine. I'll try to cheer up. It's not professional for me to mope.”

“It's not all about being professional, you know.” Matthew's voice was gentle. “You don't have to be a robot.”

She almost snorted. Easy for him to say. “Okay. Thanks. I'm fine, though. Really.”

Matthew looked over at the door through which Caleb had left, then back at Isabel, and shrugged. “If you insist.”

When she got back to her workstation and checked her email, lunch began to sit a lot heavier in her stomach. Lloyd had requested a meeting with her and Caleb to discuss the marketing plan for
Frost Prince,
making sure the plan aligned with their shared vision for the game. If there was anything that could ruin her day, it was a meeting with Lloyd. She had managed not to have any meetings with him in the weeks since she'd returned from DiceCon. By the time four o'clock came, she was dreading the meeting like a dentist appointment. Lloyd was already in the conference room when she arrived, setting up the projector for his laptop, as if it were a full crowd and not just the three of them sitting together.

“Hi, Isabel. Nice to see you.” He smiled, too friendly, or maybe she was just being sensitive. He pushed a chair out for her with his foot as he hooked up the VGA adapter to his MacBook. “I haven't seen much of you since DiceCon. Whatcha been up to? You still getting your freak on?”

Isabel sat down in the chair he pushed out for her. It felt less comfortable than usual. “Work's been busy.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Trying to get a project off the ground can be hard, especially if you aren't used to it.” He started clicking through something on his laptop, his eyes on the screen, then turned as the projector screen lit up behind them with the image of his desktop. “You doing okay? No one's giving you too hard a time, are they?”

His questions sounded innocuous, but the underlying air of condescension made Isabel shift in her seat. “No, things are fine.”

“That's good. You keep it up. I'm proud of you, taking on design manager. That's a big step.” His toothy smile seemed more predatory than kind.

The door opened, and Caleb stepped in, choosing the seat next to Isabel. Lloyd extended a hand to him. “Hey, man, thanks for coming. I've heard nothing but good things about your work with the creative team. It's going to be great to work with you.” His appreciation seemed genuine to Isabel. It seemed like he wasn't a condescending jerk to everyone, just to her.

Caleb shook Lloyd's hand. “Thanks. Just doing my job. Trying to make this game happen.”

“Based on what I've seen, you're the right man for the job.” Lloyd jerked his thumb in Isabel's direction. “This little hellcat isn't giving you too much trouble, is she?”

Caleb's eyebrows drew together, and he glanced at Isabel in puzzlement. “Um . . . no?”

“That's good. She seems quiet, but she's got some spirit! Isn't that right, Isabel?” Lloyd turned his grin to Isabel and waggled his eyebrows. Isabel felt her body heat, discomfort prickling down her spine like needles.

“You wanted us to talk about the marketing plan?” Hopefully he'd take the hint of her subject change and get this meeting under way.

“Right, right. We'll catch up later, Caleb.” Lloyd opened the documents he'd minimized on his screen. “Now, here's the storyboard we're planning for the trailer.”

The rest of the meeting was on topic and relatively painless. Isabel offered suggestions where necessary, but generally Lloyd spoke directly to Caleb, since most of the questions had to do with overall image rather than game structure and play. At a quarter to five, Lloyd looked at his watch and then at Caleb.

“I guess we should wrap up here. Thanks, man, that was really useful.” He shook Caleb's hand again. His gaze wandered over to Isabel. “I'm glad you came, Isabel. I hope some of this was useful for your department, too.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. As if this was a meeting staged for her benefit, rather than for the purpose of Lloyd getting their feedback on his work. “Sure.”

Caleb looked between the two of them, lips pressed together in thought, but didn't say anything. Isabel left the conference room as soon as it was socially acceptable to do so. The stale air-conditioning in the hallway felt like a breath of fresh air.

Movement behind her made her turn. Caleb closed the door to the conference room and caught up to her. “Hey. What was that all about?”

“What was what all about?” She didn't slow down, wanting to get back to her cubicle as soon as she could. The last thing she wanted to do was explain to Caleb that Lloyd often made a special point of giving her the jerk treatment.

“Does he always treat you like that?”

Isabel stopped short. “Like what?”

“Like he's your boss. Like you don't know what you're doing.” Caleb thrust his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “I kept expecting you to call him out on it.”

Isabel laughed, but it came out in a burst of disbelief. “Yeah, sure. Like I could call him out on it.”

“Why not?”

“Because he's not really doing anything wrong. He doesn't actually
harass
me. He thinks he's being friendly.” Isabel couldn't believe someone else had finally caught on, though. It felt gratifying after years of being told she was overreacting, even by her friends.

“He's not being friendly. He's being a douche bag.” Caleb shook his head. “Seriously, that shit shouldn't fly. You should call him out on it.”

“I wouldn't know how to do that. He's never crossed any lines.” Isabel remembered what the Pixel Dream HR manager had told her, back when people were teasing her about her relationship with Adam. Words were just words, and she needed a thicker skin if she was going to work in a “boys' club.” It wasn't until Ryan had physically put his hands on her that she'd had grounds for a suit, and even then, she was likely not to be believed. Based on that experience, what Lloyd was doing wasn't really harassment, even though it made her bristle every time.

“Bullshit. That guy needs a swift kick in the ass.” Caleb glanced back toward the door, where Lloyd was presumably still packing up his laptop. Isabel braced herself, expecting Caleb's next words. He was going to offer to tell off Lloyd for her, and she didn't want that. She was going to have to explain how it didn't help to have someone fight her battles for her, and how she could stand up for herself if she didn't think it was more trouble than it was worth.

Caleb shrugged and continued talking. “It's your call, though. If you're good with it, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. You're a grown woman. You can make your own decisions.”

Isabel felt a wave of surprise, then affection welled up inside her. How did he know this was exactly what she needed? Support, but autonomy? The freedom felt dizzying. “Thanks.” She let the relief color her voice. “I appreciate that. Most people don't get it.”

“I don't have to get it. Your life, your choices.” One side of his mouth lifted in a smile.

At that exact moment, Lloyd stepped out of the conference room, laptop under his arm. He took in the scene down the hall and paused, grinning. “Am I interrupting something?” He walked closer, looking between the two of them. Isabel wanted to step back from Caleb, but that would be the same as admitting guilt, and she had nothing to feel guilty for. Well, not at that moment, anyway.

“Isabel and I were just discussing our plans for the game.” Caleb turned smoothly and smiled at Lloyd. “You need any help carrying that back to your office?”

Isabel managed to keep a straight face even though she almost snorted. Lloyd was only carrying his laptop and a few sheets of paper. He looked down at the bundle in his hands and laughed. “No thanks, I've got it.” Turning down his own hallway, he left them in peace.