Euphoria (7 page)

Vowing to not take the cowardly way out, to not run from my problems but to meet them head on, I walked over to wear she was sitting, stopping just a couple of inches behind her chair. I wasn’t quite sure what to say to her. It was almost comical thinking about how natural talking to and flirting with girls had always come to me; I had never had to think about what I was going to say, I just said whatever the fuck I wanted to, and they all loved me just the same. However, in just two weeks’ time, Heather had managed to strip me of pretty much every ounce of arrogance that I once had in abundance, while simultaneously trying to build my self-respect and worth. The first part had happened quickly, the second was a definite work in progress. Gathering my courage, I inhaled a deep breath and said the one word that came to my mind.

“Angel,” I said as I exhaled.

SCARLETT

Frozen. I was frozen in my chair… afraid to turn around, afraid to look in those gray eyes that melt me every single time. The entire drive to the center I thought I had prepared myself for seeing him again, but the minute I heard his voice, I began having second thoughts about my unannounced appearance. Maybe I should’ve called first or maybe I should’ve just let things be, just knowing he was enrolled in a rehab program.

“Scarlett, turn around and look at me,” Mason’s gruff voice assaulted my ears.

Slowly, I stood up and turned around to look at where he was standing. My eyes instantly welled up with tears seeing him standing there barefoot in his baggy, tattered jeans and white undershirt. His dark brown hair was longer than I had ever seen it and it appeared he hadn’t shaved since he had been there. His face had much more color than when I had last seen him in Miami and I could tell that he had put on a few pounds as well.

He held his arms open at me and I quickly closed the small gap between us, flying into his body, nearly knocking him over. His arms wrapped snugly around me and I clung to him as if my next breath depended on it. We just stood there holding each other for I’m not sure how long, my face buried in his neck.

“Angel,” he repeated softly.

I pulled myself away from him so that my stare was locked on his grey, emotion-filled irises. “I hope it’s okay that I came,” I stammered.

“Of course it’s okay that you came. I’m just shocked to see you; I didn’t think you wanted to have anything else to do with me after…” his voice trailed off.

I grabbed his hand and walked us over to an empty sofa in the corner of the room. After we both sat down and made ourselves comfortable, not letting go of one another’s hand, I brought my gaze back to his. “I told you that I’d always be here for you. Even if we aren’t together in that sense, I will never abandon you, especially when you need support and a friend.”

A small smile replaced the obvious tension in his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I wasn’t quite sure what to say.”

“It’s okay, Mase. I understand. I’m just glad that you’re here and getting help.” I looked around the room curiously at the other people. “So what’s it like? What do you do all day here?”

He chuckled. “It’s actually not so bad. The first few days I was being my usual ass-ish self, but I’ve made a few friends now and it’s getting better. I have an amazing therapist, her name is Heather and she’s really helping me realize shit that I knew but didn’t think much about.”

I nodded and smiled brightly as he continued to talk about his previous two weeks, truly happy that he seemed to be making progress. After a little over two hours, one of the clinic’s staff members came in the room and announced that visiting hours were ending and that we needed to wrap it up. I was disappointed that I had to go, but I knew that I needed to get home anyhow. I hadn’t checked my phone the entire time I was there, and I was sure that Ash had most likely tried to contact me at some point.

We embraced each other tightly one last time before heading towards the door. As we got ready to go our separate ways, I wanted to ask if I could come back, but was scared he would say no. Almost as if he could read my thoughts, he asked, “Will you come back to see me again? I’d really like you to meet Heather. I’ve told her all about you.”

Nodding emphatically, I replied, “Absolutely, Mase. Just let me know when and I’ll be here.”

“Okay, I’ll text you later this week,” he said as he turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I stood there watching him, feeling some relief knowing that I’d get to see him again soon. Once he was out of sight, I headed out the main entrance and to my car. Plopping myself into the driver’s seat, I leaned my head on the steering wheel and wondered to myself what in the world I was going to tell Ash.

CHAPTER EIGHT

I Got You ~ Jack Johnson

Secret ~ Maroon Five

ASH

Life was good. I couldn’t have been happier. I was beginning the last semester of classes for my Master’s degree at St. Thomas, my family was more stable than it had ever been despite my parent’s pending divorce, and mine and Scarlett’s relationship couldn’t have been going any better. It was almost eerily good; if I hadn’t been such an optimist, I would’ve thought that I was being set up for major devastation.

I had promised myself to take things relatively slow with Scarlett, even though in my heart, I was ready to ask her to marry me at any time. I knew exactly what I wanted, and there was no doubt in my mind, she was it. However, I knew that she was still very young and inexperienced in relationships, so it was important that she felt comfortable and in control at all times. I wanted more than anything to move in with her, to spend most of our free time together, but I also recognized the importance of her learning that she was capable of living on her own, both physically and emotionally. Her parents had not allowed her to be independent at any point in her life, and even when she first came to college, she was extremely dependent on Evie. Of course this was why when Evie died, tragically and unexpectedly, Scarlett didn’t know how to cope and she ran away. It was important to me that she learned, if ever anything happened to me or anyone else in her life that she cared about, that she would be okay on her own.

Once classes had gotten back in session in mid-January, Scarlett and I developed a routine that seemed to work perfect for both of us. Because we both had classes and work Monday through Thursday, we typically stayed at our own house those nights. We had tried studying together at the same house, and that always ended up with our books closed and our bodies naked. Unfortunately, neither of us were taking Anatomy and Physiology or Human Sexuality so we couldn’t very well pass it off for research. We would text and talk on the phone throughout the day, but it still gave us time to be our own people. However, when Fridays would roll around, she was mine for the weekend. I drank in every minute I spent with her during those three days, and I made sure she knew exactly how special she was to me and how important she was in my life.

We never discussed Mason again after I had brought her home from Miami. I had no idea where he was or what was going on with him, and as far as I knew, neither did Scarlett. I could only hope that I never had to hear his name or see his face again in my life, but I doubted I would be so lucky. I knew that Scarlett had feelings for him, possibly even loved him, but as long as I kept her away from him and his toxicity, I had faith that our connection and love would trump any of that. Most importantly, I just needed to keep him out of her life.

Smiling as I sealed the envelopes on the completed transfer applications for the same universities on the west coast that I had applied to for my doctorate, I reassured myself that I was doing the right thing for Scarlett. She really needed a fresh start, away from everything and everyone.

SCARLETT

I continued to see Mason regularly at the rehab facility after my initial visit. The second time was the following Thursday, just two days later, and I was introduced to Heather at that time. When I first met her, I was intimidated to be quite honest. She was absolutely gorgeous with long, curly black hair, the most exquisite green eyes, and a figure to die for. She carried herself with a confidence that I’d never had, and I could see the way that Mason looked at her in admiration. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a teensy bit jealous of her initially and was probably a bit standoffish, but once I started talking to her and got to know her personality, that envy quickly turned into respect and reverence. She was warm and personable, and it was obvious that she took her job very serious. She invited me to join Mason’s therapy session the following Tuesday which I eagerly agreed to do. I was not only curious about how such sessions were structured and what they were like in general, but I was overjoyed to be a part of Mase’s recovery and healing process. I still felt a huge amount of guilt and responsibility for his downward spiral and ultimately, what had happened to him on Christmas.

I was nervous the day that I arrived for the counseling, again just unsure of what to expect. Surprisingly, Heather’s office was set up very similar to the activities room, just on a smaller scale. There was a comfortable couch and an oversized chair set up opposite of her desk and credenza. The walls were painted a rich yellow, almost a golden color, and there were numerous plants and abstract pieces of art scattered about the area. Overall, it was very inviting and uplifting and I could see how her patients would feel comfortable in there.

A few minutes after I was shown in, Mason walked through the door wearing his now signature jeans and white t-shirt. As soon as he saw me sitting there waiting, a huge smile stretched across his face and his eyes lit up. I jumped up and went to hug him, relieved that he seemed happy that I was there. We both settled on the couch and I was telling him about my classes that semester when Heather walked in. After greeting us and getting herself settled in her chair, she addressed us both.

“Mason and Scarlett, this is going to be a little different than my normal therapy sessions here at this facility, but I think that it’s vital in both of you moving on with your lives and ensuring that those lives are prosperous and productive,” she stated in a calm but serious tone. “Mason, as you know and as we have discussed at length, you have an extremely addictive personality. When most people hear the word ‘addiction,’ they associate it with something negative; however, there is a fine line between addiction and commitment . Where you should never let any one thing or even a couple of things dictate your life, being
devoted
or
dedicated
to something is a fabulous quality to possess. For example, being devoted to your significant other or your family, or being dedicated to working out or eating good foods, these things can lead to an overall healthy mental and physical well-being.”

After a brief pause, she turned her attention to me, “Scarlett, I don’t know much about your background other than the brief amount that Mason has told me. I know that you grew up in a different environment than most children, and I also know that you’ve dealt with losing someone that was very close to you not too long ago. I suspect in addition to those things, you feel a great deal of responsibility for what happened to Mason on Christmas and the events leading up to that night. Am I right?” I nodded in agreement, but did not say anything. She continued, “Scarlett, everything that happened to Mason is Mason’s fault… his responsibility. He is an adult and has to be accountable for his decisions and actions. You can no longer carry around that guilt; you’ve got to let it go. Mason, tell her what you want her to know.”

Mason turned to face me and reached for my hands, gently placing them in his before he began talking. “Angel, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry that I didn’t handle things right in our relationship. From the very beginning, I always saw you as someone who was too good for me, someone I didn’t deserve, and because of that I held back from you. It was like I was just waiting for it to fall apart, so I kept things from you. I should’ve told you about Bentley from the beginning, I should’ve asked you to come to Austin with me when I first moved there like I wanted to, and I should’ve made more of an effort to connect with you on a personal level rather than just a physical level. When Heather asked me to tell her about you, I realized that I actually knew so little. I couldn’t even tell her what your favorite color is or if you had any brothers or sisters,” he scoffed. “But I know that you shave instead of wax and which panties are your favorites.”

I’m pretty sure my face turned fives shades of red before hitting deep crimson with that statement. I couldn’t even look at Heather to see her reaction; I was even more mortified that it probably wasn’t the first time that she had heard him say that.

He lightly brushed his thumb back and forth over the top of my hand. “I didn’t say that to embarrass you; my point is that our relationship was primarily physical… at least on my end it was. Heather has explained to me love usually occurs in stages, and the first stage is infatuation. I’m not sure I ever made it out of this stage with you, and I’m sorry that I didn’t allow our relationship to progress.”

“It’s okay, Mase,” I interrupted. “I know that you didn’t intentionally do that. And I know that I didn’t always handle things the way I should have.” I looked down at my lap as the memories of my night with Max flashed in my mind. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have believed Bentley; I knew that she was a manipulative and devious bitch. I should’ve talked to you before making assumptions and my own bad decisions.”

Raising one hand up, he placed his fingers under my chin, forcing me to refocus my vision into his eyes. “Nobody’s perfect, Scarlett. Not you… not me… no one. The decisions I made to lose myself in drugs, alcohol, and women after we broke up is not your fault. Yes, I was hurt, and yes, I was disappointed, but I made the choice to make a bad situation worse by getting involved in shit that I knew wasn’t gonna do anything but bring me more misery in the long run. Okay?”