Eternal Nights (13 page)

“But Brody and Ravyn aren’t important. Let’s talk about why the hell you took your stuff and moved up here,” he said firmly.

“Sit down, Alex,” Stacey ordered, ignoring his question for the moment. “I’m not getting a crick in my neck because you’re trying to intimidate me.”

His face went red before he grabbed the chair next to hers and spun it around so he could look at her. “I wasn’t trying to intimidate you.” The growl held more frustration than it had earlier. “I wanted to see you while we talked.”

She waved that aside. Maybe it was true, or maybe jockeying for position was so ingrained in him that he didn’t even realize why he did things. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was finishing this conversation without caving in.

“It was a surprise,” Alex began, voice gentle, “to come home and find you—and all your things—gone.” He paused to take her hand. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting? After all, it was only a missed dinner. I’ll make it up to you.”

The man was an idiot. He thought she’d moved out over one dinner? Stacey jerked her hand free and struggled to check her temper. “I am not overreacting,” she said bitingly.

He nodded sagely, an understanding expression spreading across his face. She clenched her hand. Stacey just knew he was going to say something to infuriate her. She was right.

“PMS, huh?”

“PMS? PMS! Are you really that blind? It’s not about a damn dinner; it’s about our entire relationship!” Taking deep breaths, she tried to regain control. “Why is it that whenever a woman has a legitimate complaint, and a man doesn’t get it, he chalks it up to hormones?” Alex started to reply and Stacey held up a hand to stop him. “That was a rhetorical question. You’ll only dig yourself in deeper if you answer. We both know that.”

He subsided, but he didn’t look happy. “Okay, if it’s not hormones, what is this all about?”

Stacey took another deep breath and tried to come up with a way to explain it so that he’d understand. It was about emotion, how she
felt
, and Alex had already proven himself unobservant on that score. Heck, she had tried to talk to him about this, over and over, but he’d never gotten it.

“I love you, Alex,” she told him quietly. His expression didn’t change, but Stacey could tell he was uncomfortable. “How many times have I told you that? A thousand? Ten thousand? But you’ve never said it in return, not even a ‘me too.’”

If she didn’t feel so much like crying, she might have laughed at the hint of terror that flew across his face. Alex Sullivan was a West Point graduate, he’d been a member of Special Operations for years, he’d fought in one of the ugliest wars in the history of Earth, and yet the idea of discussing his feelings sent him into a grade-A panic attack.

“I wouldn’t need the words if I thought you loved me,” Stacey continued, “but I don’t think you do. I’m a convenience to you, someone to sate your physical needs with when the urge strikes, nothing more.”

“You make it sound one-sided,” he interrupted, “but you enjoy it too. I make sure of that.”

“Yeah,” she agreed thickly, “you make sure of it, except I need more from you than orgasms. You don’t talk to me, not about anything really important. You don’t contribute to holding our relationship together. I put in all the energy. The only time we’re close is when we’re having sex, and even then I feel like you’re holding part of yourself back from me.”

She dropped her gaze and blinked rapidly, not wanting him to see the tears. “At the beginning, I was willing to do most of the work. I knew you were closed off too much to reach out, but I expected at some point that you’d start making an effort. That never happened. I still do all the giving and you just take.”

“Stace—”

Raising her head, she met his eyes squarely. “I’m not doing it anymore. I deserve a man who loves me, someone willing to put equal energy into our relationship. I’m not going to settle for less. We’ve drifted this way for far too long.”

“And you’re just saying something now?” he accused.

Fury roared through her, drying her tears. “You’re a piece of work, Sullivan. I’ve tried to talk to you about this many times and always received one of two responses. Either you took me to bed and kept me there until I forgot about it, or you ran.”

“Are you calling me a coward?” His voice was whisper soft.

“If the combat boot fits...” Stacey let her voice trail off when he surged to his feet and began stalking around the room. That was so atypical that she could only stare. Alex was always cool, no matter how tense the situation. No doubt he was upset about the challenge to his manhood, not about losing her.

“We’ve been through this before.” He didn’t look at her, but kept moving. “Three years ago, remember? I told you then that it was more than sex. Why in hell do we need to rehash it?”

Shakily, Stacey got to her feet. “Because you told me once, years ago, that it was
more than sex
, I should be happy with that and not expect more from you? Well, guess what? You were an emotional coward then and you’re an emotional coward now.”

Alex stopped short and glared at her. There was heat in his gaze now. “You’re being unreasonable.”

“Right. It’s unreasonable to want the man I love to love me in return. What you’re really saying is don’t rock the boat. But while you might enjoy the status quo, it’s ripping me up inside.” She couldn’t keep the tears at bay any longer, and they rolled down her cheeks. Impatiently, Stacey wiped at them, but they were falling too fast. “It’s killing my soul one piece at a time, and I can’t afford to lose any more parts of me, not like this. So I’m doing what I have to do to save myself. I sent a message to CAT Command, requesting permission to board the next transport for Earth. Since they hate the fact that I’m here, I expect a prompt approval. It’s over, Alex.”

Pivoting blindly, Stacey hurried away.

*** *** ***

Kendall stood in an ornate antechamber, amidst hundreds of women. The acolytes in their pale green robes led the slow procession into the chancel. Behind the novitiates stood the priestesses adorned in grass green robes, patiently waiting their turn. Although it was always a lengthy process when they gathered, no one dared speak, and the silence chafed her nerves.

Of all those present, only she stood without a robe. Instead, she was adorned in a close-fitting, sleeveless sheath. Kendall had nowhere to hide her hands and was forced to stand with absolute serenity. In truth, she felt anything but calm.

She didn’t want this, had argued strenuously against it, but in the end, she’d had no choice. Linking her fingers at her waist, she glanced around. The white marble of the temple symbolized purity—and mocked her. Even now, Kendall had a pleasurable ache between her thighs, a reminder of the night spent with her lover. Neither of them had been able to sate themselves. Perhaps it was the knowledge that their future trysts might be much more difficult to arrange. It was challenge enough to meet him as a priestess, but after today...

The acolytes finished filing in and the priestesses began to follow. Did any of them regret their calling as she did? Kendall remembered pleading with the high priestess, begging to be released from her obligation. It had been her fifteenth birthday, the day all children were tested, and it had been her misfortune to score highly in the talents required by the temple.

She’d nearly confessed then that she’d already given her innocence to the boy she loved, but she hadn’t quite been brave enough to do so. The disgrace wouldn’t have belonged only to her, but it would have stained her entire family and his as well.

Now it was far too late to admit she’d repeatedly violated the most sacrosanct law of the temple. Her punishment would be severe, but her lover’s would be even harsher.

Heru, she loved him. Had loved him with her whole heart for nearly twenty seasons, and she would do whatever was required to protect him. She’d made that decision long ago.

As the last of the women garbed in rich green disappeared from view, the temple sentinels moved into position. They were female, all priestesses, and trained as warriors. The city guard protected the exterior, but the interior of the temple was defended by these soldiers. They were allowed to wear trousers, and Kendall envied them the freedom.

Four members of the High Priestess’s cortege formed a half circle around her. It was meant to offer support, but she saw it as a way to prevent her from running. She wouldn’t do so and risk questions being asked, but the desire was there. Kendall could go to him seeking sanctuary; he wouldn’t ask questions. Instead, he’d surround her with his muscular arms, hold her near, and kiss her with tenderness. She could relish his taste on her lips—and immerse herself in his love. Minutely, she shifted as the ache between her legs intensified. It was easy to remember him sheathed deep within her body, to recall the joy he gave her as he thrust into her.

She forced the memory aside and cast a quick glance to either side. The women around her seemed oblivious to her distraction, and she thanked Heru for that.

Their robes were a deep emerald green denoting their station within the hierarchy of priestesses. Behind her, attended by the remaining five members of the cortege, was the High Priestess herself. Her clothing was the darkest of any, a forest green that seemed to shimmer in the light. Kendall had become all too familiar with this woman in the preceding weeks.

At last, it was her turn to enter, and on shaky legs, she stepped into the chamber. The chancel was by far the most ostentatious room inside the temple and it was cavernous, meant to hold every priestess and novitiate. Chanting began as she started down the aisle and a shiver coursed along her spine, leaving chill bumps on her bare arms. Without allowing her gaze to wander, Kendall walked sedately to the massive altar, her shaking knees hidden from view. Lifting her skirts, she ascended the white marble steps and stood before the second seat.

When Kendall was in place, the High Priestess made her own entrance. The remainder of the cortege came behind her, eyes downcast to show their respect for the woman they served. As the leader of the temple grew nearer, Kendall had to fight the need to flee. She would not be craven, would not risk her lover.

The ceremony wasn’t overlong, or perhaps it merely seemed so to her. Before she was ready, she was summoned to the stone of wisdom. As she stood beside the High Priestess, the woman gazed deeply into her eyes. For a moment, Kendall feared she could see her transgressions, but the sense quickly passed.

As the High Priestess pressed her hand to the center of the marble, three attendants came forward and removed her robe, leaving her in a simple gown like the one Kendall herself wore. It was then that the woman chanted the words that relinquished her power and position as leader of the temple. Though she would always bear the honorary title pristinus to signify her former rank, the decisions would no longer be hers to make.

The High Priestess stepped back, made a slight bow to the chancel full of women, then turned to Kendall. The woman took her successor’s hand and drew her forward to the stone, then pressing Kendall’s palm flat against the rock, she chanted four words—
To you I cede.

Beneath her fingers, Kendall felt the marble begin to pulse, as if the entire temple were aligning its vibration to hers. The buzzing sensation traveled up her arm, filled her body, and there was a sense of welcoming. She closed her eyes, embracing the gift being given to her. Something deep inside her, so deep she’d been unaware of its existence, sparked to life and grew until it permeated every cell of her being.

Recognition dawned. It was power. More power than she’d ever wielded before this day.

The knowledge had barely made itself known when Kendall felt the robe of High Priestess being draped around her own shoulders. It was her turn to chant four words—
From you I accept.

The other woman removed her hand from atop Kendall’s and the cortege began a chant of its own. It promised fealty to their new leader, but it was the stone that continued to hold her enthralled. Some type of energy was wending itself into her soul, becoming part of her. In a corner of her mind, she thought she should be frightened—and yet there was only rightness. This was meant to be, just as her predecessor had claimed.

When she opened her eyes again, the melding was complete. Kendall gathered her robes around her and stepped forward.

Raising her right hand, she telekinetically called the pink crystal staff to her. Once she held it, she raised the glow in the chancel, making the room almost painfully bright. There were a few gasps from the priestesses. The level of illumination was directly tied to how powerful the High Priestess was, and Kendall had raised the indicator to her left off the scale. This was the only time she would have to publicly exhibit her power.

Once the required demonstration of her strength was completed, she returned the chamber to its usual level of light. She conducted the rest of the ceremony, closed it, and granted permission for the priestesses and acolytes to depart.

It wasn’t until much later, after the cortege closed the doors to her new chambers behind her that the euphoria she felt faded. Alone for the first time this day, Kendall slipped her robe off and draped it over a nearby chair. The letdown was sharp, and she paced until she saw the calling glass that her lover had given her the morning she’d been forced to enter the temple. None would recognize its function since it was unlike the usual stones used for communication, but it worked perfectly.

Sinking to the floor in front of it, she ran her finger over the top circle, picking up speed until she heard a soft hum, then she intoned the words that would connect her to him. His visage appeared almost immediately, telling her that he’d been sitting by his crystal. As she gazed at his dear face, her heart swelled with love until it ached. Her voice was choked as she whispered, “What are we going to do? Oh, my love!”