Eternal Echoes, Emblem of Eternity Trilogy Book 2 (13 page)

I shook my head. “He does not own me, Alex.”

He lifted his brow as he removed his hat. “It’s more that way than you realize.”

I knew the argument was futile so instead I said, “It’s been months since I last saw you. Did you not get my letters?”

He pulled his lips into a line. “I got them. You knew I couldn’t come. You chose him over me. It would have been hard to handle regardless of your suitor, but even more so with Emil.”

“Why?” I asked, genuinely curious. “What is your quarrel with him?”

A muscle at the corner of Alex’s eye twitched and his face tightened. “He’s not right for you, and he knows it. A better man would have stepped down.”

I clutched my hands around the folds of my dress, hardening my expression. “He makes me happy.”

Alex tightened his jaw. “You think he makes you happy, and for now he might. But you didn’t give us a chance. I was the right choice, Cassandra. Someday you will realize it. I hope it won’t be too late.”

I shook my head, my lips turned down in a frown. “I wish you could be happy for me, but I will settle for you being here. Thank you for coming today.”

He pursed his lips. “I can’t stay.”

I nodded slowly and looked down at my hands, worrying the lace of my dress. “I know.”

His eyes went over me again, hesitating on the necklace at my chest, and the earrings dangling from my ears. “The blue suits you. It matches your eyes.”

I looked up. “Emil said the same thing. He gave them to me as a wedding gift.”

Alex’s face hardened and his hands tightened on his hat until his knuckles were white. “I need to go. I just couldn’t let this day happen without seeing you again.”

“Why can’t you be happy for me, Alex? You make it sound as if I am going to my death instead of my wedding.”

He watched me steadily. “You’re more accurate than you know.” He moved toward me, never taking his eyes from mine. My breath was almost non-existent as he stopped inches away. He reached out, cupping my face with both hands, his skin hot against mine. He slowly lifted my head and leaned in, hesitating slightly, waiting to see if I would back away. I didn’t. He gently pressed his lips to mine, our mouths moving in perfect harmony. He slowly pulled away, looking at me one last time, then turned, placing the orchid on my chair. He walked to the door, reaching for the handle, but paused. He did a quarter turn, looking at me sideways. “When you’re ready to leave, you know where to find me. I love you, Cassandra. I always will.”

I watched the door close, confused as I touched the necklace at my chest. I took a deep breath, looking at the orchid Alex had left. It was a symbol of what he’d wanted from me—what I couldn’t give. My heart belonged to Emil. I brushed a stray hair from my face, picked up my bouquet of sterling roses, and opened the door.

I‘d come to realize flashbacks were both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because I was finally getting answers—answers I could trust because they were coming from my own memories. They were a curse because I couldn’t control what I was seeing, and the answers weren’t helping me get the information I needed to make any decisions.

Long after I’d finished my flashback journal entry last night, I’d tried to sleep. It didn’t work. Instead, at five in the morning, I’d wrapped up in my dark purple hand-pieced quilt from my mom and climbed out the window onto my balcony. The stars in Gunnison are beautiful. The air is clear and the town is so high in the mountains that when you look up at the night sky, you feel like you can pluck a star from the universe, a small token to keep for yourself. Sometimes I think the world is sitting on my shoulders and the decisions I make could screw up eternity. I like the peace that looking at the stars brings. It reminds me how big the universe is, and how insignificant I really am.

With that in mind, I was able to think through the flashback again. So, the necklace and earrings had been a wedding gift from Emil. No wonder Alex hated them.

I wasn’t sure whether I should tell Alex and Emil about the flashback, or how much to reveal…especially about that particular memory. I knew Emil wouldn’t be pleased to find out I’d kissed his rival on our wedding day. That was a pretty questionable action for a bride. I wrinkled my nose, unhappy with the Cassandra incarnation of myself.

I’d been hoping these flashbacks would help me understand what had happened in my previous life with Alex and Emil, and help me choose. I mean, obviously, I’d chosen once before. But the more I saw, the more it seemed my Cassandra incarnation was just as confused as my Evie version. So was Cassandra confused because she made the wrong choice? Or because she truly loved them both? Or was it because they were both her soul mates and she didn’t know it at the time?

The flashbacks really weren’t helping my situation.

As the sky began to lighten, I shivered and climbed back inside the house. I flipped on the light switch, bathing the calm, light brown walls in a soft glow. The carpet was a dark brown Berber—a design choice I was sure the owner had made when they decided to rent to college students. My bed, a simple full-size mattress with no headboard, sat between two windows. I threw my purple quilt back over it and made my bed, before going downstairs.

I found Alex making breakfast in the kitchen. An empty plate sat in the sink. “Did you already eat?” I asked.

“Yeah, and so did Jasmine.”

I widened my eyes as much as I could for eight in the morning. “She was here? And talked to you?” I was dumbfounded. Jas wasn’t a big Alex fan. She’d helped pick up the pieces after he’d broken up with me and disappeared last summer.

Alex handed me a plate of cheesy scrambled eggs and toast. “She does live here, you know.”

“I know, but she rarely shows up anymore. She’s avoiding me now as much as I’m avoiding her. She spent most of her time at Zach’s before anyway, but now I feel guilty even letting her pay half the rent. You and Emil should be paying it instead.”

Alex nodded in concession.

“Did she wonder what you were doing here?”

Alex picked up the egg pan, scraping it clean over the trash. He moved to the sink, turning on the water to wash it. “Like you said, I’m always here. I’m sure she’s used to it by now.”

“Not likely,” I scoffed. “She thinks you and Emil are both stalkers.”

Alex inclined his head. “That would explain the lack of conversation and narrowed eyes.”

“I’m sure that was part of it. The other part was probably that she’s angry I’m spending so much time with you two instead of her.”

Alex finished with the pan, putting it on the drying rack. He turned, facing me, and leaned against the counter, his palms on the edge. “I think you need to start hanging out with her again. And you should talk to your parents more, too.”

I stared. I didn’t realize he’d noticed my lack of parental communication lately. I’d pulled back from talking to my parents because I didn’t know what to say—just like I’d done with Jasmine. I texted, emailed, and talked to them on the phone occasionally, but not like I had when I’d first moved to Gunnison. Our communication now was a lot more surface and less detailed. The distance was to be expected. I
was
in college and trying to be an adult. But it was still hard when I’d been so close to them before. I shook my head. “I told you why I can’t.”

“Your life is going to get more complicated, Evie. You need your friends, whatever that means.”

I dropped my fork and stared at him. “Seriously? You’re giving me permission to tell Jasmine about the Amaranthine, Daevos, and all the crazy crap that’s happened since I met you?”

He held my eyes. “I’m giving you permission to be happy. Whatever that takes.”

I stared at him as he pushed off from the counter. “I have something I need to do, but I’ll see you later.” He stopped in the doorway. “I meant what I said. We can protect her. Zach too. If that’s what you want, we can try to keep them safe. Do what you need to so you feel normal again.”

I thought about Alex’s offer and opinion for the next few days. Feeling normal again wasn’t in the realm of possible outcomes, but having Jasmine to confide in would at least make me feel less alone. Maybe with another person to talk to, I’d be able to get a different perspective on the situation with Alex and Emil. Jasmine had always been great at giving me relationship advice, and she’d never been shy about it. I thought her observations might help me make a decision.

I wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear about my soul mates and all the paranormal stuff yet…but it would come in time. I knew Jasmine would think I’d completely lost my mind, but it’s not like I was lacking in proof. I had real live Amaranthine and Daevos members I could reintroduce her to, plus Alex’s ring could convince any skeptic. It had convinced me. After a lot of thought, I decided I’d talk to her. It wouldn’t be easy to explain, but I needed it. I needed my best friend back.

My text to Jasmine, asking her to meet me after class, was met with angry cynicism I could feel through the phone. Her response had simply said:
fine
. My bubble gum blowing friend was never so succinct, or angry. Usually the response would have included capital letters, emoticons, and several exclamation points. The fact that she simply said ‘fine’ was the equivalent of telling me to go to hell. And stay there.

Since the Denver incident, Alex and Emil had been spending more time with me as a precaution. However, Alex had kindly agreed to watch me from his ring instead of hanging out in the coffee shop. Since Jasmine attributed part of our issues to Alex and Emil, I didn’t think we’d get far at repairing our friendship if either one of them was with me.

Given her text message and frosty responses every time I’d seen her since the cafeteria argument, I wasn’t sure if she’d actually show up. So I was mildly surprised when she opened the coffee shop door. She was wearing jeans, boots, and a bulky white winter coat. The white seemed even brighter because of her smooth mocha skin. A fuchsia pink scarf was wrapped snuggly around her neck and her cheeks were bright red. She kind of looked like Ski Barbie, only without the blonde hair and gravity-defying boobs. Her eyes seemed a little red, like she’d been crying…or was tired. The fact that I didn’t know the reason was like a punch to my stomach. I shouldn’t have ever tried to keep her out of my life, even if I’d had good intentions.

Given her outfit, I wondered if she’d decided to celebrate the temperature reaching ten degrees by walking to the coffee shop. It was only a few blocks from campus.

I’d been sitting on the edge of a comfortable black leather armchair. I stood. She scanned the coffee shop, her eyes falling on me. Her already cool expression turned to complete ice. She crossed her arms over her chest, turning her body away from me. She couldn’t have been more clear about her feelings if she’d yelled it with a megaphone. I slowly blew out a breath. This was not going to be pleasant. I just hoped she’d listen.

I walked up to her. She acknowledged me with an emotionless, “Hey.”

I put my hands in my pockets. “Hi, Jas.”

We spent the next several awkward seconds looking at anything but each other. I became acutely aware of how many black specks were on the sage green floor tile in front of me. If we couldn’t even make small talk, how were we
really
going to talk?