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Chapter 24

Susanna went from room to room weeping until her head ached and felt as if it were going to explode.  She felt imprisoned in the cottage with the sleet and snow pouring outside making an outdoor venture unthinkable.  Even if the weather permitted she wouldn’t know what to do with herself outdoors.  She would just aimlessly walk the island and wait for the sun to set. 
She was despondent and felt so entirely alone and to make matters worse, she kept thinking about Kane and what he was enduring while he was away. 

Kane sat at the rickety wood table wrapped in a wool blanket.  He looked down at his hands and tried in his haze of pain to determine if they were a deeper shade of blue than they were an hour ago.  His body was shivering so violently that he had a hard time focusing on the clock on the wall. 
How long had he been here?  Had the keeper returned and then left again?
  There was a glass of warm milk in front of him but he didn’t have the strength to reach for the cup and drink it.  He vaguely remembered the man telling him that he needed to drink something and to do what he could to warm up.  He had shed his clothes that were nearly frozen solid and left them in a pile in front of the fire.  His vision was blurred and he blinked rapidly to try and focus on the door to the keeper’s cottage. 
Did the handle move?
He was racked with fear for his brother and Rayna and he made an attempt to stand and look out the window for any sign of life.  The rain was coming down in heavy sheets illuminated by the lighthouse lamp and it’s slow rotation around the island. 

“Please God, let them be safe,” he mumbled to himself, his lips shivering and blue.  He could feel the room swaying again and reached for the chair to steady
himself.  He sat for a few more seconds to gather his waning energy before moving back in front of the fire.  He sat on the floor, huddled in a ball beneath the wool blankets rocking back and forth.  His bones ached, his hands battered and bleeding from the rocks that cut into his near frozen flesh as he climbed toward the lighthouse.  He silently thanked the powers that be that had given him the extra strength to climb that last few feet when all he wanted to do was fall into the ocean and drown.  Every time he thought of giving up he forced himself to think of Liam and Rayna alone and stranded on the ship.  Every time he thought of her laughter and the light in her green eyes he swam harder and faster, pushing past the pain.  His brother had begged him not to go, and encouraged him to stay there and wait for a rescue but he knew that Rayna would never make it that long.  Liam had cut away the layers of her dress just in case they were forced into the water and the weight of the dress caused her to go under.  Kane had watched as the color drained from her body as she huddled beside Liam in the last bit of the boat that had not been flooded with icy water.  He knew that Liam would be reluctant to leave her and so it fell to him to search for help.  Kane looked down at his hands again and found the blood was no longer flowing from the gashes. 
That was a good thing, right?
  He stood and limped towards a shelf on the far wall that held an assortment of pictures.  He instantly recognized the keeper and assumed the woman and child were family members.  There were various letters scattered about and some trinkets that looked handmade by the little girl.  He smiled weakly.  He went back to the door and peered out into the rain again.  There was nothing.  No sign of life besides the very little that remained in him.  He turned back to the table where his milk was now cold and saw a piece of wood that the keeper had been carving into a pipe.  A rusty but sharp knife lay beside it.  Kane walked towards it and picked it up, turning it over in his hands in the candlelight.  Walking to a small bed that sat under a window in the room, Kane leaned forward and peered through the glass.  With the knife still in his hand he reached forward and etched the words into the glass that repeated over and over in his head as he waited for word that they were okay.  Once he was finished he placed the knife back on the table and collapsed on the bed.  He pulled the wool blanket around his bare shoulders and still he shivered to his bones.  Surely they would come.  They would all be safe by now and they would come for him.  He closed his eyes and imagined embracing his brother when he saw him again.  Soon this would all be a bad memory that they would recall as old men sitting around a fire.  He heard his name being called in the distance and he opened his eyes bleakly to look toward the door.  There was no one there and yet still he heard his name.  The voice was familiar and brought back memories of his childhood where he roamed the fields of Castlemaine with his brother.  She called his name again and this time he recognized it … it was his aunt Meara. 
But how could that be? She’d been dead at least a decade.
He tried to open his parched lips to speak to her but nothing came out.  She called to him again and as she did the warm wind from the countryside swept over his face.  He smiled.  He could smell the Meadowsweet blooms as the wind blew and hear the birds chirping in the trees.  It was almost as if he was home again.  Aunt Meara’s voice sounded again. 
Kane, don’t be afraid child.  Afraid?  Why would he be afraid?
  His pain was fading, his hands warming and the gashes suddenly feeling healed.  He felt a warm feeling in the center of his body that seemed to be spreading throughout his tired limbs.  Maybe he was finally warming up.  Maybe all he had needed was to rest.  He squinted against the bright light and he reached to shield his eyes but his arm didn’t move.  He tried to blink and then realized that his eyes were closed. 
Where was this light coming from?
The warmth in his body was still spreading, and as it did, it seemed to drown the pain as it flowed to the tips of his fingers.  Suddenly his aunt Meara was before him, stretching her hand out to him and beckoning him to come with her. 
How was she here?
  He wanted to ask her but he was so elated that he was no longer alone.
Come with me, Kane, you will hurt no more.
  It was then that he realized that she was not here with him, he was with
her
!  The bright light was unbearable and yet warm and inviting.  He was grateful he was no longer in pain but his body rebelled once he grasped the reason for the visions.  He was dying! 
Oh God no, I’m not ready!  Please!  Not now! 
He needed to make sure Rayna and his brother were safe!  There was more for him to accomplish in his life. 
Not now
– his mind screamed in retaliation.  He fought the light and forced his arm to raise as if he could fight off death itself.  He strained to open his eyes and he turned towards the window, the very words he had carved still there before him.  He saw his hand raise before his eyes and his fingers, bloody and shaking brushed across the glass.  He could see his blood smearing across the words etched there. 
Not now, not yet! 
The white light seemed to envelope him, Meara’s gentle words echoing around him.  He felt as if his body were in a cyclone. He was dizzy and yet filled with a sudden burst of energy – and then darkness.

A flash of lightening lit the night sky just as the lamp of the Cape Elizabeth Lighthouse powered on with a jolt.  A deep humming noise filled the gallery as the lamp glowed across the island and started to make its single solitary rotation.  The heavy rain poured into the open air gallery as the light neared its end.  The humming suddenly stopped and the lamp light faded to darkness once again.  Kane grabbed the railing of the tower for support once his feet touched the ground.  He blinked in the pouring rain as he fought to find his bearings.  He looked at the lamp and then above him at the gallery ceiling.  He stared into the darkness and crouched toward the center to escape the pelting rain.  He held his hands in front of him in the moonlight and was startled to find they were void of any gashes or blood.  Then suddenly, as they had every night for the last hundred years, his memories began flooding back to him nearly knocking the wind from him when they came.  Recollections in the form of flashes infiltrated his thoughts.  The flashlight spinning at the bottom of the tower, his race to get to her when she hit the ground, her bleeding head, her bright green eyes, dinner, laughter, dancing, her warm body pressed against his.   

“Susanna!” he whispered in anguish
as he reached for the door.  Throwing it open he raced down the spiral stairs in the darkness.

Chapter 25

Susanna sat in bed with tears streaming down her face in the exact same spot she had been for the last two hours. 
Her acute despair had hampered her ability to detect the exact moment the sun went down but as pitch black as it was outside she knew it was time. 
Where was he?  Why had he not come back yet?
  Susanna collapsed and curled into a ball within the sheets.  Her silent sobs were interrupted by the distinct sounds of heavy banging echoing throughout the cottage.

She sat up
, wiping the tears from her face, “Kane?” she whispered.

The banging was more intense now,
sounding closer and closer, and suddenly she heard the door to the tower open as if it was being torn from its hinges.

“Susanna!” Kane
’s voice roared throughout the small cottage. 

Susanna cried out his name and was trying to untangle herself from the sheets when he raced into the room. 

She let out another cry when she saw him and held her arms out to him as he rushed forward.  In one swift motion he lifted her from the bed and hugged her fiercely to his wet body. His fearsome embrace threatening to break her in half. 

Susanna
clung to him and cried into his shoulder as he stroked her hair, “I’m here now,” he whispered to her. 

Feeling overwhelming
ly content now that he had returned, Susanna fought to steady her emotions.  She pulled away from him so that she could look into his tear filled eyes.  She shook her head vigorously, “I did
not
like that Kane O’Reilly!”

“I know,” he whispered, kissing her softly, “I’m sorry.”

She closed her eyes in defeat, knowing that he had no control over his life, “I hated that!” she huffed, still trying to catch her breath.

Kane couldn’t help but
smile at her tone, “I know.”

Kane still held Susanna
suspended in the air, unwilling to let her go.  She took a deep breath and rested her forehead against his as she felt a fresh flow of tears even as she demanded they not fall.

“
Shhh,” Kane whispered to her, “Don’t cry, I’m here now.”

She placed
her hands on either side of his face, her lips pressing against his as their tears mingled, “This isn’t fair, none of it!” she whispered.

“No,” Kane answered
with a weak tremor, “It’s not.”

Susanna felt a rush of anger that
suddenly drowned all the sadness she had felt for the last twelve hours.  Her hands began to shake with the intensity of it. 
Why?  Why was this happening to them?
  She wanted to scream the question at the top of her lungs but she held onto him instead, her lips pressing into his with determination.  Her mouth opened under his and he met her force with equal need.  Kane lifted her higher and her legs wrapped around his waist.  Taking two quick steps forward, he laid her gently on the bed.  To his surprise, Susanna met his softness with complete abandon.  Her hands clawed at his damp sweater as she fought to pull it over his head.  Kane pulled away from her for a split second in order to facilitate her demand and tossed his soaking sweater to the floor.  Once it was done, it wasn’t enough and her fingers began to claw at the fasteners on his coarse breeches.  Kane pulled away from her to look down at her tear stained face and he knew in that instant that there was no altering her decision this night.  His copper eyes turned dark with the desire of a man that had been starved of nourishment for a century.  He pushed her forward on the bed and joined her there, his determined eyes never leaving hers.  As he fumbled with the buttons of his breeches, Susanna hastily slid her cotton pants off and tossed them to the floor.  Kane hungrily drank in the sight of her soft pale body in the dim light of the room.  Once his body was completely bare he lowered himself down into her outstretched arms.  His mouth descended on hers, ravishing, punishing and unrestrained before trailing down to her neck and shoulders.  She arched against him, her fingers spreading into his hair and across his broad shoulders.  His mouth followed the curve of her breast where his fingers had traced that very morning.  His touch was ruthless and yet painfully teasing.  She writhed beneath him as his lips fastened around the taut peak.  She raised her hips towards him and he responded by pressing his rigid bare body against hers.  Kane ran his hands along her bare hips before they slipped into the curve of her thighs.  His mouth trailed back up to hers as his hands slid down her stomach and beyond where his fingers once again found the place where she ached for him the most.  Susanna moaned against his open mouth as he pressed deep inside of her.  He hovered above her and watched her with an insanely intense kind of worship as she reacted to his touch. 

Susanna could feel her body responding to his and she fought against it. 
Not like this!
She said to herself not realizing that she had said the words aloud.  Kane smiled wickedly against her mouth as she uttered the words but was stunned when she lifted from the bed and rolled him to his back.  Kane, unwilling to relinquish his power, sat up just as she lowered herself onto him.  

Kane
released a tormented groan when he felt her body enveloping his and he reached for her hips to slow her pace.  Susanna’s nails dug into his shoulders as she moved fluidly, her open mouth hovering inches from his.  Kane’s hands moved up her back and buried in her hair as his mouth covered hers.  Their kiss was powerfully turbulent, echoing the despair each of them felt.  Unable to breathe and dizzy with indescribable pleasure Susanna pulled away and threw her head back, her mouth open and yet barely able to take a deep breath.  Kane’s open mouth moved to her neck, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips as he moved her body against him.  He fought to suppress his own driving need, his jaw clenched in determination as he reveled in the sensation of Susanna’s passion climbing to the crest she so desperately sought.  He groaned with erotic pleasure when he felt her nails rake across his shoulders as she cried out and her body cascaded into waves of ecstasy that pulsated around him.  Kane held her hips against his in a vice grip until he felt the last tremors of her body slow and cease.  Susanna collapsed against him, her head falling to his shoulder and she descended back to earth.  She was breathless as she pulled away from him, her glassy eyes still moist with tears.  Kane kissed her long and hard, his mouth gently moving over hers.

“I’m sure that broke a few rules,” she whispered against his lips.

Kane’s heady smile was erotic and disarming, “You are scandalously unlawful Madame.”

“I suppose I’ll have to pay for my crimes,” she ran her hands over his shoulders and into his hair.

Kane rolled her to her back, “And I intend to collect,” he said as his mouth found hers.

Susanna lounged on her back upon a pallet in front of the fireplace with her feet propped up on the brick hearth.  She had her head in Kane’s lap as they both watched the flames dance upwards towards the chimney.  She was famished and had just finished with a bowl of cereal which was sitting empty on the floor. 

“Still hungry?”

“I’m good … better than good actually, I’m perfect,” she smiled and stretched her bare foot towards the fire.

“Cold?”
Kane asked amused.

“Nope,” she smiled at him, knowing that he was referring to the fact that her only article of clothing was his long blue t-shirt, “What about you?”

“I’m the most content man in the world,” he answered, running his fingers through her hair that cascaded across his lap.

Susanna smiled, “Had you told me I would be this happy
four hours ago I would have called you a liar,” she tilted her head back so she could look up at him.

“Was it a terribly long day?” Kane
eyes gleamed with genuine concern.

“Horrible
. I literally felt like I was going to just die of depression.”

Kane
grinned, “I did die today … so I’m ahead of you on that account.”

Susanna
let out a deep unsteady breath and chewed her lip, “Tell me about it, I want to know exactly what happens when you go back so that we can try to figure all this out.”

“I’ve already told you.”

“No, I want to know details, everything,” she rolled to her side to face him, propping her head up on her hand.

“
I’ve already arrived here. I’m sitting wrapped in a blanket at a table in the kitchen.  The keeper has left in search of my brother and Rayna.  I’m cold and badly injured,” Kane holds up his hands, “My hands are gashed open from the rocks and bleeding although not pouring blood because my heart is not pumping hard enough or fast enough to make it flow.”

Susanna visibly shudders as she looks at his hands, “And?”

Kane continues, “I go to the door to look outside to see if anyone is there.  It’s raining, pouring and I can see nothing.  The light is on from the lamp and is circling the island.  I come here before the fire and sit to try and get warm.  I feel as if I’m getting a little better, warmer but I think it’s all a hallucination.  I remember getting up and looking around,” Kane turns towards the far wall, “There is a shelf there,” he points, “that has pictures of the keeper and his family … a wife and daughter.  There are also some letters scattered around from his family.”  Kane pauses for a few seconds before continuing, “I get back up and walk into the kitchen and look out the window again.  The keeper was making some sort of pipe, carving it from some wood and it’s there on the table with a knife.  I pick it up and go to the window where I carve the words you see there today.”

“So you are well enough at that point to stand and do these things?” Susanna asks.

“I am, but it’s short lived.  There is a bed beneath the window and I lie down in it and close my eyes.  I start to hear the voice of my aunt Meara who’s been dead for a decade and I see a brilliant light.  I remember feeling warm like I’m healing and as the warmth spreads through it simply takes the pain away.”  Kane shrugs, “For a moment I feel as if I’m getting better but then I realize what’s really happening and I start to fight.”

“Fight how?”

“I tell her that I don’t want to go, that I’m not ready,” Kane shakes his head, “I try to open my eyes but I can’t … all I see is the bright light and suddenly Meara is standing in front of me.  I use all the strength I have raise my arm,” Kane raises his right arm to show her, “and I reach out towards the window to the words I’ve just etched there.  I remember touching the window, the same window where I first saw you.  I remember seeing my blood on the glass, smeared across the very words I had written. And then everything goes dark.”

“And then you wake up here?”

“Yes,” he nods.

“And when you get here you appear up there?” Susanna points above her to the tower.

“Yes, every night.”

“And
then you remember everything … from your time before and all of your present memories here?”

“Every last detail,” Kane answers grimly.

“At least you remember me when you return,” she reaches for his hand and squeezes his fingers.

“But I have no memory of you when I’m there.”

“Be glad for that. I can tell you from experience that it’s not enjoyable,” Susanna rolled to her back again and rested her head in his lap, “I nearly scared Emma to death today.  I could hardly talk when I called her.  She offered to come over but I wouldn’t dare let her or Bill travel in that weather.”

“I’m glad she
’s here for you,” Kane replied.

“I just wish she knew more
. So does she. She told me she’s been meditating on it,” Susanna shrugged.

“Meditation
. In my day they would have called that witchcraft.”

“She has a gift, obviously.  She can see you and she knows things.  She did a tarot card reading for me before I got here.”

“I’ve heard of them,” Kane acknowledged, “What did it say?”

“I can’t remember the cards exactly but it was a bunch of stuff about the start
of a relationship but that some things aren’t what they seem.  I remember there was a death card which scared the crap out of me when I saw it but she told me that death cards don’t mean what we think they mean.  They’re actually a symbol of a reincarnation or resurrection … something like that and something about a forced sacrifice.”

Kane
studied her earnestly as she sat up and leaned forward, “There was also a lover’s card.”

Kane
smiled languidly as she leaned forward to kiss him, “Oh really?  What did she say about that card?”

Susanna climbed into his lap and stretched her limbs around him like a feline, “She said that the lover
’s card represents a love ordained by a higher power, even God himself.”

Kane grinned and ran his hands along her
bare legs, “A higher power?”

“Yes,” she whispered close to his ear, “which means that all the times you were denying me and making me suffer so unjustly should be made up tenfold since you were
basically denying a higher power.”

“Ah … is this Susanna’s interpretation of the card?”