Erica Lucke Dean - To Katie with Love (28 page)

“They don’t like me better.”

“They do!”

“They just know I love you.”

“You don’t.”

“I do,” he said firmly. “I always have. That’s why I was so reluctant to tell you.”

“You thought so little of me that you believed I would be ashamed of your job? Or maybe you were ashamed to tell your family about me.”

“It’s not like that.” He pulled his eyebrows together in a tight furrow. “You made me want to be better. I want to be able to tell the whole world what I do. Because of you.”

“What’s wrong with being a romance writer?” I cringed from the sarcasm in my own voice.

“Nothing.” He let out a nervous laugh. “It pays the bills. But my parents insisted my contract stipulate—”

“I don’t want to hear about your stupid contract.”

“It’s not about the contract. Until very recently, I was required to keep it a secret because my parents were diplomats. They didn’t want it coming out that their son wrote unseemly escapist fiction.”

“I know. I heard all about it from Silvia. And now?”

“And now, my parents live on a farm and couldn’t care less. I had to wait for them to give me the okay, and then I wanted to disentangle myself from my contract and all that entails before telling you. Sweetheart, I had no idea how to be in a relationship with you while I was hiding behind someone else. There would always be three of us. I swear I was going to tell you.”

“Silvia knew.”

“Yes.” He lowered his eyes, staring at some spot on the floor.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted to be
me
when I was with you… not Elizabeth Jayne.”

“You didn’t trust me.”

“It was never about trusting
you
.”

I shook my head. “We rushed into this. We didn’t know each other well enough.”

His hands were in his hair again, twisting it into a tangle. “We’ve known each other for a long time. The biggest mistake we made was not trusting the intensity of our love for each other. All I know is I want a future with you. I want forever.”

I flinched away from the word
forever
. “After everything that’s happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

“This is real. We’re real.” He stepped forward and tipped my chin. “I don’t want to be away from you, Katie. Ever.”

I let the tears spill freely down my cheeks. “Too many things have gone wrong.”

“Nothing was ever really wrong. It was all an illusion.” He wiped the wetness from my face with his fingers.

“It
was
all an illusion,” I echoed. “All the good things, too.” I closed my eyes to block out the realization.

He leaned in and kissed me. “You know you love me,” he murmured against my still lips.

“It doesn’t change anything,” I whispered, pulling my face from his.

The vault door eased open, and Phil poked his head in. “Everyone okay in here?”

Cooper’s face twisted with anguish. “Can we have another minute?”

“We don’t need another minute. We’re done here.” I kept my gaze on Cooper, and I was sure he understood what I was saying.
We were done.
As in over… as in goodbye.

I faced Phil and pulled in a shaky breath. “I left my resignation on your desk.”

Phil nodded and walked out. That pretty much said it all.

I turned around to look at Cooper one last time.

“I’m so sorry, Katie,” he whispered, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

I started to hyperventilate, and I knew the shaking wouldn’t be far behind. If could just make it to my car, I might get home before the sobs ripped out of me.

It wasn’t likely I’d get that far, but I had to try.

MY LIFE IS AN OPEN BOOK

A
lmost exactly a year to the day later, I sat frozen in front of the television screen and waited. In a few minutes, Cooper Maxwell would be sitting in a chair beside the most popular daytime TV talk show host, Marcy Michaels, promoting his new book, and I was tied up in knots with nervous anticipation. I’d known about the appearance for quite a while, but it didn’t ease the butterflies in my stomach one bit. I wasn’t looking forward to the things he would say. It was bound to be embarrassing.
For me.

His new book was on shelves, and that was bad enough, but to imagine him telling the entire world the intimate details taken directly from my life was just too much to bear. I actually winced when Marcy announced his name, and he stepped onto the stage to shake her hand.

Once the applause died down, Marcy bounced to her chair with perfect comedic timing, making her short blond hair flop into her eyes. She pushed it back, tucking it behind both ears before turning her attention to Cooper. As usual, he looked amazing, making my stomach flip the same way it always had.

“So, Cooper, tell us about your new book. It’s quite a departure from what made you famous, isn’t it?” Marcy didn’t give him a chance to answer before she launched into a new thought. “You know, maybe you should go back a bit further and tell us about your other books first. You wrote vampire romance novels. Did you have to do a lot of research for that? I’ll bet you had to bite a lot of people.”

Cooper shifted in his seat. “Yes, I wrote vampire romance novels. But no, there was no biting involved.”

“Are you sure? I’ve had vampires on the show before.” Marcy leaned in, exposing her neck. “Go ahead. Take a little. I’ve got plenty.”

“Tempting.” Cooper laughed. “But no, thank you. I’ve already eaten today.”

“Too bad.” Marcy sat straight again. “So… romance… really? But you’re a man. How different was that?”

“Well, it was a little odd, I suppose.” Cooper smiled. “That’s why I didn’t write under my own name.”

“Of course. You wrote your tragic vampire series under the name of Elizabeth Jayne. Why vampires?”

“Well, Marcy, there’s something very romantic about vampires, isn’t there? An underlying thread of violence wrapped up in sexual tension.”

“Okay, so who is Elizabeth Jayne?”

“Elizabeth Jayne is my mother’s name. I wrote under that for several years. My publishers felt the books would be more successful if written by a woman.”

“Elizabeth Jayne Maxwell… and your father’s a former British diplomat?”

“Yes, that’s right. He retired from diplomatic service just over a year ago.”

“So the son of a British diplomat, writing romance novels under an assumed name, gets arrested for attempted murder. That’s an interesting bio.”

Cooper laughed. “I suppose it is.”

“Did you dress up as a woman while you were writing? You know, a cute little dress, a pair of nice pumps, some pearls?”

“Well…” He chuckled. “I suppose that might have been a good idea, but sadly, no. My publisher hired a very nice lady to pose as Elizabeth Jayne for promotional purposes.”

Marcy was obviously having fun teasing Cooper. “After making buckets of money writing under your mother’s name, how much of a cut did Mom get? She probably deserves something, don’t you think?”

He smiled. “I’ve tried to give her money, but she won’t take it.”

“Oh. Well, you could send it to me. I’m sure I could find something to do with that much money.” Marcy grinned. “But buckets of money aside, you decided you wanted to be yourself for a change, right?”

Cooper got serious. “I decided I wanted to do something a little different, and yes, I wanted to write under my own name.”

“So what did your publishers think about that? They were about to say goodbye to the cash cow… cash bull.” Marcy crossed her blue eyes in a comic expression.

Cooper nodded. “They were intent on having the series continue indefinitely. It was a very successful run.”

“And now they’ve made the first book into a movie, right?”

“Yes.
Blood Everlasting
will be in theaters later this month, and I’m quite proud of that. But it was time to put the book series to rest. I was adamant we end the story with
An Immortal Heart
. Unfortunately, that set events in motion that caused a little trouble in my life.”

Marcy smiled. “More than a little.”

“Yes, actually.” He chuckled again. “It caused a lot of trouble.”

“So what happened?”

I cringed. I wanted to turn away, but I forced myself to watch.

“I was constantly at odds with the direction I’d decided to go with the last book. I wanted to tie up the story by allowing the vampire to find his forever love… his mate.”

“And that was because you’d fallen in love with your banker, Katie?”

Cooper nodded.

Marcy said, “Don’t tell anyone, but I fell in love with my banker once. It didn’t work out. She was only interested in my money.” Marcy paused while the audience laughed. “Okay, so back to your story. Exactly
how
were you planning to kill Katie? Poison? Strangulation? A good hard knock on the head?”

Cooper shifted in his seat. “I wasn’t actually planning on killing her. In my mind, everything was perfect. We were in love, and it was wonderful.”

“Oh, come on. You can tell me. I won’t turn you in.”

Cooper let out a nervous laugh. “Well, she certainly
thought
I was planning on killing her. I was oblivious to the turmoil she was going through. She was imagining all sorts of crazy scenarios.”

“So it was all in her imagination then?”

“A scary place, her imagination.” He laughed. “She was constantly worried the bottom was about to fall out.”

I frowned as I stared at the television. I wanted to scream at the screen that it wasn’t
all
in my mind. There was a good little bit of circumstantial evidence almost
any
woman would have mistaken for truth.

“But you didn’t know what she was thinking, what she was worried about?” Marcy asked.

Cooper shook his head. “I had no idea.”

“You don’t pay very close attention, do you?” Marcy deadpanned.

“It would seem not.”

“But you did finally figure it out. Was it that last day at the bank?”

“Yes, well… it was actually a few nights before that day.”

“Was that the night you were going to kill her?” Marcy was clearly amused with the direction the conversation was going.

“Yes… I mean, no. I wasn’t going to kill her.”

“If you say so,” Marcy said, looking straight at the camera.

“It was the night she
thought
I was going to kill her.”

“You’re smiling. What’s so funny about killing your girlfriend? That’s not funny at all.”

Cooper leaned back and looked Marcy dead in the eye with a familiar smirk. “You know, you’re right. There’s nothing funny about killing your girlfriend. Didn’t Bill Pullman try to kill you in a movie once?” He was obviously pleased with his own wit.

“Oh, nice. You’ve done your research.” Marcy then pulled her expression into a serious one. “No, Bill Pullman didn’t try to kill me. He’s actually a pretty nice guy. It was his character. You surprise me. We don’t talk about that movie. I’m surprised you know about that. I thought I’d personally burned every copy in existence.”

Everyone laughed, and then Cooper went back to his original train of thought. “Even now, it seems ridiculous to imagine she could think for one second I would hurt her.”

“Because you loved her?”

Cooper blushed. “Immeasurably.”

Marcy led the crowd in a chorus of
awwws
, and I knew how they felt. There was something in his eyes and his voice when he spoke of how he felt about me. I blinked back the urge to cry.

“Okay, so that brings us to the new book,
To Katie With Love.
Oh, and we’ve given everyone in the audience a signed copy.” Marcy held up a copy of the book to the cheers of the audience. “The story is obviously near and dear to your heart.”

“Absolutely. It’s the story of falling for and losing the love of your life.”

“So you were really in love with Katie? Even though you were trying to kill her?”

Cooper smiled. “Amazingly so. Katie is permanently a part of me.”

I got goose bumps when he said my name. My stomach rippled with that familiar fluttering.

“You know I’ve read the book. There are a lot of funny moments in there.”

Cooper chuckled. “Yes, I think even Katie would admit to being a little on the clumsy side. She managed to get herself into a few unusual situations. I think she can laugh about it now. At least, I hope so.” He turned and looked at the camera, and I knew he was talking directly to me. I wasn’t sure if I could laugh at anything at that moment, let alone myself.

“And the other characters? All real… or made up?”

“Oh, they’re all real. Of course, I had to change the names to protect the not-so-innocent.” He flashed a crooked grin, and I knew he was thinking of Vicky. “But for the most part, it all happened the way I wrote it.”

“There really was an assassin? And you really got locked in a vault? What about the girl with the piercing?” Marcy looked down at her lap, and the crowd roared with laughter.

“Even that.”

“Did anyone get fired for locking you in the vault?”

He laughed. “No, everyone was forgiven.”

“And what about Katie? Did you forgive her for getting you arrested?”

“Well, we worked it out before I was put on the chain gang, so… yes.”

“So no mug shot? I was hoping to see a mug shot,” Marcy said with a serious face.

“No.” Cooper laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you. No mug shot.”

“It’s a year later. Any regrets?”

Cooper’s expression quickly changed from sunny to serious. “I regret the secrets.”

Marcy nodded. “I heard you married your publicist recently.” She paused and looked out into the audience. “Wasn’t Vivian Allen your publicist?”

The audience sighed collectively, and I held my breath. I was too aware they would be getting to the part where Cooper’s wife would walk out onto the stage to join him. I wasn’t ready for that yet. I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

“Yes, six months ago. We’re still on our honeymoon, if you will.” He hesitated for a minute before flashing his grin again. “But no, Vivian isn’t my publicist anymore.”

“She’s not?”

“No, I hired a new one.”

“A lot of changes then?” Marcy asked with a smile.

“Yes. A lot of changes in my life over the course of the past year.”

“But what about Katie? Is she still your banker?”

“No, she found another job.”

“That’s too bad. She was a good banker, wasn’t she?”

My palms were sweating, and I felt a little sick to my stomach. I was having flashbacks of everything that had happened during the past year.

“She was a great banker,” Cooper said.

“But—” Marcy grinned. “—she’s a better wife, isn’t she?”

Cooper’s face broke into a triumphant smile. “She’s a wonderful wife… and publicist.”

The pride in his voice was evident. The audience let out a collective cheer.

“Shall we bring her out to meet everyone?”

That was my cue, and someone from behind me called my name, dragging my attention from the monitor to the doorway.

I was led carefully to the stage by a tall, gray-haired man who didn’t seem to grasp the fact that I was less than steady on the stupid three-inch pumps I wore with Cooper’s favorite dress. I was nervous I would fall, and the universe would see my scanty underwear as I sprawled out on the floor on national TV.

“Katie?” Marcy called.

I stepped out in front of the audience, which had begun chanting my name. It was the most surreal moment of my entire life. Caught in the hot lights on the stage, I carefully put one foot in front of the other, concentrating on not falling. I took Marcy’s hand with a shaky grip and proceeded to trip as I approached the chairs. Luckily, Cooper was close at hand, and he righted me before my panties became the next YouTube sensation.

Everyone, most of America I imagined, laughed, and I was certain my former bank colleagues were watching from home and laughing, too.

Cooper leaned in to give me a quick kiss. “Mmm… peppermint,” he said.

I smiled. I had my own peppermint breath, but I had been sworn to secrecy.

When the crowd calmed, Marcy directed a question to me. “Katie, everyone is dying to know. How long did it take you to forgive Cooper for trying to kill you?”

I laughed despite my nerves. “Do you mean how long before I forgave him for keeping secrets from me?” I wrinkled my nose at Cooper, trying to mentally calculate the equation.

“Less than five minutes after we made our daring escape,” he said with a grin.

Marcy looked surprised. “Five minutes?”

“Five minutes after my manager let us out of the vault, I ran out of the bank, thinking I’d never see him again, but I never made it out of the parking lot,” I admitted with some embarrassment. “As soon as I climbed into my car, I knew I couldn’t do it.”

Cooper took my hand in his, and we shared a quick moment staring into each other’s eyes, remembering that day.

I turned to look at Marcy again, blinking back the threat of tears. “Cooper came rushing out the door and ran straight to me. He just about yanked me from my seat for one of those curl-your-toes kind of kisses.”

She clucked her tongue, fanning herself with her hand. “Well… oh my.”

I nodded. “Very.”

“So did he propose right then?”

Cooper squeezed my hand and answered, “We’re saving that story for the sequel.”

“So how do you feel now, with all of this attention?” She gestured to the stage, the audience, and to the image of Cooper’s book—
my book
—on the big screen behind us.

“Well…” I bit my lip. “It has taken some getting used to.”

“And what does your mother think about the book… and the marriage?”

Cooper and I both laughed.

“Mom’s still convinced Cooper is one of the Goodfellas
.
”

“Really?” She raised her eyebrows. “Well, you know, mothers do know best.”

“It’s actually quite convenient. She doesn’t visit often,” I added in an aside.

Everyone laughed. I was pretty sure Mom was somewhere watching… and she would not be laughing.

“What about you?” Marcy asked. “You don’t mind sacrificing your honeymoon for the press junket?”

“Well, we’ve been on our honeymoon for six months, so I don’t feel I’m giving up anything there. I do always feel like I’m about to trip over something and embarrass my husband.”

Cooper leaned over to whisper, “I would never be embarrassed by you.”

“What did he say?” Marcy asked.

“He said he would never be embarrassed, but I think he’s forgetting the few times I was drunk. I find it hard to believe he
wasn’t
embarrassed, at least for me.”

“But you’ve given up liquor and lying, right?” Marcy quoted a line from the book, and laughter rang out through the studio.