Endlessly (Paranormalcy) (18 page)

Y
ou’re dying
?” I shrieked.

Reth sat up and brushed off his clothes. “It’s not an issue.” Lend offered a hand to help him stand, which Reth ignored.

“Actually,” Lend said, “dying is kind of a big deal. Especially for an immortal faerie.”

“I already told you,” Reth said, only looking at me. “This will be fixed when you open the gate and we go through together. My connection to eternity will be restored and this will all be a horrible memory. Now come on.” He tried to project calm, but the same quivering,
fraying-around-the-edges look his soul had was reflected in his face.

I stared incredulously as he stalked into the forest, pausing once to lean against a tree and catch his breath before continuing without looking back.

“Well, no pressure now. Not only does every paranormal in the world need me to open the gate so they can go home, but Reth will
die
soon if I don’t.”

Lend squeezed my hand reassuringly as we started walking after my fastly failing faerie. “You’ll figure it out. I know you will. What was he saying about going through together?”

I willed my eyes to roll, but everything felt so serious and heavy that I couldn’t muster the sarcastic energy. “He thinks I’m going to decide to go through with him.” Which reminded me that Lend and I hadn’t had a conversation we needed to. One I really, really didn’t want to. I stopped, pulling his hand so he’d face me. “Lend, I—Your mom, she said they were going to take all the paranormals. And I know she includes you in that group. What are you…I mean, they’re going to be gone. All of them. Forever. Every immortal creature on the earth.” He’d told me he wouldn’t go through, but he had to have been thinking about it. He
needed
to think about it. For a few brief seconds I was tempted to take Reth up on his offer of eternity, if only to spare Lend the agony of choosing between his two worlds.

But no. This was my home. This was who I was, and
what I loved most about loving Lend was that I didn’t have to lose myself to be with him. Being with him meant I found myself. I wasn’t going to try and become something entirely new.

“Not every immortal creature. I don’t think they’re taking vampires,” Lend answered, avoiding my eyes and digging into the frozen dirt with his shoe.

“Yeah, but, Lend, you’re going to live forever—you know that, right? And once they’re gone, that means forever by…” My throat caught, trying to keep the word inside. “By yourself. Alone.”

“I know,” he whispered.

I squeezed his hands, bending my head until he looked me in the eyes. “Do you? I mean, do you really know? Have you thought this through? Because you’re going to have to—” I squeezed my eyes shut, hating what I was saying, hating this conversation just when I got him back. “You’re going to have to choose. And whatever you choose is going to be forever. I want to make sure you’re thinking about it. You need to make the right choice.”

“What do you think that is?” His voice was soft and vulnerable and already filled with pain.

I opened my eyes and let go of his hands, putting mine on his cheeks to frame his face. I’d missed looking into his water eyes so, so much. “I can’t make it for you.”

“I didn’t think I’d be making this choice for years. Decades, even.” He stepped back and shoved his hands in
his pockets, kicking angrily at a rock on the trail. “This is all happening so fast.”

“I know,” I said, miserable. “But you know whatever you choose, I love you. Always. And it’s important to me that you choose what is best for you. Okay?” I blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears back. I knew—I
knew
—if I asked him to stay, he would. But that wasn’t something I could ask him. I had to make decisions for the rest of my life. He had to make a decision that would last for all eternity.

Dude, it sucked.

“But, Lend?” He looked up and I pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and wrapped it up in mine. “No matter what? Whatever happens? You still owe me a Christmas present.”

He laughed, hugging me, and we stood there with our arms around each other for way too long and way too short. Finally I sighed. “We should get to the pond.”

We reached the end of the trail that I spent so much time on I saw it every time I closed my eyes. Arianna wasn’t kidding when she described the scene at the pond. A different creature inhabited every square foot. The pond was totally melted now and teeming with heads and bodies and fins and flippers. An impossibly huge, sucker-covered tentacle curled up out of the water, snatching a bird out of the air and pulling it back under.

“Holy crap, was that a kraken? How deep is the water, anyway?”

“As deep as my mom needs it to be, I think.”

We walked closer to a pit glowing such a brilliant orange it hurt my eyes; when I glanced to the side, I could see it was crawling with flaming salamanders. Reth stood next to it, his perfectly square, narrow shoulders slumped. Across the pond, at the edge of the trees, the sole sylph floated miserably.

I remembered what I’d seen in the faerie dream and wondered if this sylph was all that was left of the mighty wind that betrayed the rest of the paranormals and brought them all here. No wonder it had been so desperate to find me that Jack had been able to convince it to get involved. It probably wanted to atone for what it had done.

Or it just hated being stuck in this form. Now that I knew what most of them had been before, I couldn’t imagine how strange it would be to go from being limitless to being confined in a new, strange body, subjected to different rules.

I jumped back, startled, as a group of rabid pixies scrambled past, wrestling and biting and pulling each other’s hair.

“They can’t all be here.” I squinted at the far borders. I wanted to figure this out and do it as fast as possible. As much as Reth had been terrible to me and had made me crazy, I was shocked at how deeply the idea of his being hurt affected me. He’d taken that faerie magic in my place—he’d sacrificed his buffer from this world to be with me in the first place. It wasn’t that I didn’t want his death on my
hands. I didn’t want his death at all. And to avoid that I needed to open the gate, and to open the gate I needed all the paranormals here.

Raquel walked over from where she’d been standing, talking with David, Arianna, and Cresseda. She beamed at the sight of Lend and me holding hands. “You did it, Evie! I am so happy.”

I grinned, leaning my head on Lend’s shoulder. “Of course. If anyone needs more beauty sleep in this relationship, it’s me. Where are the rest of the paranormals?”

“Not all of them want to go, apparently. Some are so far removed that they don’t remember or don’t want what they had before. Most of the troll colonies are staying. A few other types are mixed. About half the selkies are choosing to stay behind. A handful of nymphs. Mostly those that can become more human when they love a human.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Lend snapped.

Raquel looked taken aback. “Simply that some are choosing to stay and others are not.”

“Just because they’re leaving doesn’t mean they don’t love people here.”

I looked at him sharply, wondering if that statement applied to more than his mom. Was he talking about himself, too? Thankfully David spared Raquel having to answer Lend by joining us and making me tell them how I broke the curse. They weren’t very amused by Reth’s clever prank, either, but we didn’t have time to dwell on it.

“When do we get this show on the road?” I tried to sound more confident than I felt. If they asked me to open the gate right now, I had no idea what I’d do, but at least I’d know one way or the other whether it’d work.

“There’s a problem,” he said.

People needed to stop saying that.

T
he
problem was this. Well, the problems were these:

Problem one, IPCA had managed to keep one of their containment facilities running in spite of the attempts by Seelie faeries and elementals to free whatever was there. And despite my time crunch to get them out of here and keep Reth alive, Cresseda et al. weren’t going to let any gates be opened until every paranormal that had been forced through had a chance to say whether or not they wanted to leave. Most had already made the decision; turns out they’d been gathering paranormals since Cresseda first met me. I really, really tried not to be annoyed by
this fact. It was still my choice.

Problem two was how to convince the Unseelie faeries that they needed to get on the take-every-paranormal-but-no-humans-back bandwagon. No one had any idea how committed they were to the idea of taking humans with them to keep using their dreams, but faeries were generally loyal to their courts.

Problem three, and this was connected to two, was how to get the people the Unseelies had kidnapped back, most especially the women pregnant with more Empty Ones. The common thought was that the faeries were feeling desperate with their threads to eternity growing thinner every day, and if we took away their only option for getting home in the near future, they’d agree to our human-free terms even if it wasn’t what they had in mind.

And finally, problem four was that even if everything worked out in the best possible way, I still didn’t know if I could open a gate, and, if I could, whether or not I’d still have a boyfriend on this planet afterward.

Well, number four wasn’t on the Official Problems List. I wished I could talk to someone about it, but I didn’t want to bring it up with Lend, and I couldn’t very well call Carlee and whine about it.

Almost on cue, my cell rang in my pocket. I walked a few steps away from Lend, Arianna, Raquel, and David, who were going back and forth with ideas and strategies regarding the final IPCA holdout. Lend, unsurprisingly,
shot down every suggestion of Raquel’s with barely concealed derision.

“Carlee?” I answered, seeing her name on my caller ID. “I’m so sorry I haven’t had a chance to call!”

“Evie?” It wasn’t Carlee’s voice. I frowned. “It’s Carlee’s mom. Have you seen her?”

“No, not since before Christmas. Why? What’s wrong?”

She sounded frantic. “She’s been missing since yesterday. We can’t find her anywhere—she left her cell and all her things. I found a text to you where she mentioned a new boy. Do you know anything about him? We’re so scared. This isn’t like her.”

“Oh my gosh,” I said, shocked. “She wouldn’t run away!”

“I know.” Her voice cracked.

I shook my head, confused and worried, my brain spinning through all the possibilities. Carlee was totally happy. She got along with her mom better than any other teenager I knew. She was doing well in school and got accepted to the community college’s dance program. It made no sense. “I remember the text, but we never got to talk. I have no idea who the guy was.”

Carlee’s mom started saying something, when I looked up and saw Arianna. What had happened to her—how she’d been changed by her then boyfriend—flashed through my mind and I couldn’t breathe through the panic. But no. Not here. The vampires here were the most self-regulating,
careful, anti-harming-or-turning-humans-into-vampires in existence. Carlee couldn’t be a vampire.

Just when I was about to sigh with relief I saw Reth speaking with a misshapen lump of moving rocks. Beautiful Reth. Enchanting Reth. Reth who was a faerie, who any girl would fall in love with. And a faerie would count as an older guy, like Carlee described her new love interest.

“Oh no,” I whispered, dread filling my stomach. I knew where Carlee was.

“Please, if you hear anything or think of anything at all, will you let us know immediately?”

“I—Of course. I’m so sorry.” I hung up, numb. Carlee. My precious, beautiful, funny, completely and utterly normal friend. I could be wrong, I desperately wanted to be wrong, but deep inside I knew I wasn’t. I stumbled back to the group and Lend put his arm around me, then saw my face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “What happened?”

“Carlee’s missing. I think the faeries took her.”

“Are you sure?” Raquel asked.

“Pretty sure. She’s not exactly the teen runaway type. It’s all my fault.”

Lend squeezed my shoulder. “How is it your fault?”

“I put this place on their radar. They never would have paid any attention to this town if it weren’t for me. They never would have known about Carlee, or taken her. She doesn’t deserve to be caught up in the middle of this.”

“Who does?” Arianna asked quietly. “It’s not your fault. We’ve all lost our innocence in one way or another because of the paranormal parts of our world.”

She was wrong. I could have stopped this a long time ago. And I was tired of having to rescue the people I loved from danger that
I
put in their lives. I squared my shoulders and looked at David. “You and Raquel should lead the attack against the IPCA facility. Where is it? Iceland? Siberia?”

“Illinois,” Raquel answered. “Normal, Illinois, a couple of hours outside Chicago.”

I snorted. “Finally, IPCA gets a sense of humor. Arianna, can you help them with computer stuff?”

She nodded.

David had his phone out; he’d been texting furiously for the last hour. “I’ve got some other contacts coming in. Defectors from IPCA—people are tampering with the trackers and leaving in droves now that they’ve gone completely mad there; everything is shutting down without the faeries Raquel freed. We’ll have all the human, werewolf, and vampire manpower we’ll need.”

“Awesome. And I’m assuming you’ll have whatever supernatural aid you need?”

“Only a few types are up for land travel, but, yes. It won’t be easy, but I think we can crack this last reserve.”

I nodded. “Good. Because I’m going to the Faerie Realms, and I’m not coming back until I have Carlee and
every other human with me.” Reth looked up and locked eyes with me, then nodded. His eyes had dark circles under them, but he seemed a bit more energetic than he had when he collapsed earlier.

“Evie, that’s much too dangerous,” Raquel said. “The Seelie Court needs to be in charge of that.”

“I don’t trust them to be in charge of it. They don’t see people as individuals. We’re like sheep. There’s no way I’d trust them with Carlee’s life.”

“I’ll go with you,” Lend said.

David shook his head. “You two will do no such thing.”

“I know you want to keep us safe.” I smiled. “But fact of the matter is we’re both in this deeper than you and Raquel ever can be. That whole we’re-the-adults-and-this-isn’t-your-problem speech you pulled out when Vivian was rampaging doesn’t apply anymore. It didn’t even back then, much as I wanted it to. This needs fixing, and I am the one who is going to fix it. I’m okay with that.”

Arianna nodded. “But how? What are you going to do?”

“I have some ideas. But first I need something in my stomach before I fall over. So let’s go eat and plot and then save the world.”

David sighed, looking thoughtful.

“What’s up, Dad?” Lend asked.

“I’m trying to figure out if there’s any way I can lock you two in your rooms. I don’t think a simple grounding will do it.”

Raquel laughed. “Good luck trying to force Evie to do anything else once she has made up her mind. She is the definition of a stubborn, headstrong teenager.”

“And you love me for it.”

“I do.” She hugged me, the spontaneity of the gesture surprising me. Even Lend’s expression softened slightly toward her.

Back at the house, David and Raquel disappeared into the office to plan. Lend watched them go, holding hands, with a troubled look on his face.

“You okay with that?” I asked.

“No. But…he’s walking different. Springier, you know?”

I nodded, squeezing Lend’s arm. “They both seem really happy.”

Lend sighed heavily. Maybe he and Raquel had more in common than he thought. I slumped at the counter, exhausted after my crazy faerie dream sleep, too tired to talk more. My eyes were so dry I could hear myself blink.
Click, click, click
they went.

Lend stood staring blankly at the shelves of food. Arianna had sneaked upstairs to eat—or rather, drink—in private. “I have no idea what to make. I’m too exhausted to think.”

“You have no right to be tired. And I never want to see you asleep ever again. I had enough of that for a lifetime these past few days.”

“Allow me to take over,” Jack said, striding into the kitchen. He nudged Lend out of the way and started pulling out a huge pile of ingredients.

“Can you even cook?”

“If Lend had let me make him an omelet earlier, that question would already be answered.”

Lend sat next to me, leaning over and putting his arm under my head as a pillow against the counter. “Remind me again why we trust him now?”

“Because we need all the help we can get. And I think he really is sorry. And a lot of people are going to depend on him if all the faeries leave.”

Jack furiously chopped vegetables. “Captain Dependable! Wait, we vetoed that one. The Divine Door Maker? Too much? Hmm…Handsome Hero, but maybe I should move away from alliteration. Something sleek. Our Lord and Master Jack.”

Lend rolled his eyes and gave me a seriously-can-I-just-beat-him-to-a-pulp look. I smiled and shook my head. It didn’t even feel weird to be around Jack and laughing with him anymore. I thought about the faeries, and how the last thing they wanted was to change. I, for one, had decided that I was endlessly grateful that I could change for the better and that I could let the people around me do the same.

Like Vivian. I wondered about her. The last dream we’d shared had been so different; she’d felt so far away. My stomach turned, and I hoped against hope that didn’t mean
she was dying. Selfish as it was of me, since she didn’t really have a life at all these days, I didn’t want to lose her forever, not like Lish. After we’d settled everything here, I’d figure out a way to get her out of the Center and into a proper hospital close by.

“Do you have any cheese preferences?” Jack asked.

“All cheese is good cheese,” Lend said.

“True dat.” I nodded solemnly.

“You did not just say ‘true dat,’” Arianna said, walking into the kitchen. “Because if you think you have any ability whatsoever to pull that off, we are going to have to have a long, long talk.”

“Can I at least use it ironically? Or ‘dude.’ Can I use ‘dude?’ Because I really want to be able to use ‘dude.’”

“No. No, you cannot, but thank you for asking. Besides, ironic use always segues into non-ironic use, and unless you suddenly become far cooler or far more actually Californian than you are now, I simply cannot allow it.”

“But on
Easton Heights
—”

“You are
not
going to bring up Carys’s cousin Trevyn’s multiepisode arc where he’s sent there as punishment for his pot-smoking surf-bum ways, are you? Because that arc sucked, and he wasn’t even very hot. Also, what’s the lunatic doing?” She jerked her head toward Jack.

He flipped a gorgeous looking omelet onto a plate and placed it with a flourish in front of Lend. “I am providing insurance against frying pan boy deciding to enact all the
very painful fantasies he’s no doubt entertained about me for the last few weeks. An omelet this good should rule out any dismemberment vengeance.”

“Have you been reading his diary?” I asked. “Because I’ll bet he got really creative with the violence ideas.”

“No, I only ever read yours. But let me tell you, one more exclamation mark dotted with a heart while talking about how good a kisser Lend is and I was about ready to do myself in. You’re rather single-minded when it comes to adoring him.”

“True dat,” Arianna said, nodding.

“How come you can use ‘true dat’ if I can’t?” I asked, rightfully outraged.

“Because I am dead, and none of the rules apply anymore.”

Lend ate his omelet, refusing to answer Jack’s questions about just how delicious it was on a scale from cutting off limbs to just breaking his nose. I gave Jack full points for flavor but noted the texture was slightly off, exempting him from name-calling but not from dirty looks.

Arianna lounged against the counter, and when I finished first we debated the usage rules of “dude,” “true dat,” and my favorite, “for serious.”

“I kind of wish they’d shut up,” Jack said.

“Dude, true dat,” Lend answered.

Jack nodded solemnly. “For serious.”

I laughed, so giddy with relief to have Lend, my Lend,
whole and well and back with me, touching me, that even this bizarre scene in the kitchen, hanging out, seemed wonderful. I was pretty sure it was the last normal I was going to have for a long, long time. Whatever happened in the next few days, things would never be the same—not for Carlee, not for Jack, not for me…and not for Lend.