Endgame Act Without Words I (5 page)

CLOV
Looks like it.

[
He drops the tin and adjusts his trousers.
]

Unless he’s laying doggo.

HAMM
Laying! Lying you mean. Unless he’s
lying
doggo.

CLOV
Ah? One says lying? One doesn’t say laying?

HAMM
Use your head, can’t you. If he was laying we’d be bitched.

CLOV
Ah.

[
Pause.
]

What about that pee?

HAMM
I’m having it.

CLOV
Ah that’s the spirit, that’s the spirit!

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
[
with ardour
] Let’s go from here, the two of us! South! You can make a raft and the currents will carry us away, far away, to other . . . mammals!

CLOV
God forbid!

HAMM
Alone, I’ll embark alone! Get working on that raft immediately.

Tomorrow I’ll be gone for ever.

CLOV
[
hastening towards door
] I’ll start straight away.

HAMM
Wait!

[
Clov halts.
]

Will there be sharks, do you think?

CLOV
Sharks? I don’t know. If there are there will be.

[
He goes towards door.
]

HAMM
Wait!

[
Clov halts.
]

Is it not yet time for my pain-killer?

CLOV
[
violently
] No!

[
He goes towards door.
]

HAMM
Wait!

[
Clov halts.
]

How are your eyes?

CLOV
Bad.

HAMM
But you can see.

CLOV
All I want.

HAMM
How are your legs?

CLOV
Bad.

HAMM
But you can walk.

CLOV
I come . . . and go.

HAMM
In my house.

[
Pause. With prophetic relish.
]

One day you’ll be blind, like me. You’ll be sitting there, a speck in the void, in the dark, for ever, like me.

[
Pause.
]

One day you’ll say to yourself, I’m tired, I’ll sit down, and you’ll go and sit down. Then you’ll say, I’m hungry, I’ll get up and get something to eat. But you won’t get up. You’ll say, I shouldn’t have sat down, but since I have I’ll sit on a little longer, then I’ll get up and get something to eat. But you won’t get up and you won’t get anything to eat.

[
Pause.
]

You’ll look at the wall a while, then you’ll say, I’ll close my eyes, perhaps have a little sleep, after that I’ll feel better, and you’ll close them. And when you open them again there’ll be no wall any more.

[
Pause.
]

Infinite emptiness will be all around you, all the resurrected dead of all the ages wouldn’t fill it, and there you’ll be like a little bit of grit in the middle of the steppe.

[
Pause.
]

Yes, one day you’ll know what it is, you’ll be like me, except that you won’t have anyone with you, because you won’t have had pity on anyone and because there won’t be anyone left to have pity on.

[
Pause.
]

CLOV
It’s not certain.

[
Pause.
]

And there’s one thing you forget.

HAMM
Ah?

CLOV
I can’t sit down.

HAMM
[
impatiently
] Well you’ll lie down then, what the hell! Or you’ll come to a standstill, simply stop and stand still, the way you are now. One day you’ll say, I’m tired, I’ll stop. What does the attitude matter?

[
Pause.
]

CLOV
So you all want me to leave you.

HAMM
Naturally.

CLOV
Then I’ll leave you.

HAMM
You can’t leave us.

CLOV
Then I won’t leave you.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
Why don’t you finish us?

[
Pause.
]

I’ll tell you the combination of the cupboard if you promise to finish me.

CLOV
I couldn’t finish you.

HAMM
Then you won’t finish me.

[
Pause.
]

CLOV
I’ll leave you, I have things to do.

HAMM
Do you remember when you came here?

CLOV
No. Too small, you told me.

HAMM
Do you remember your father.

CLOV
[
wearily
] Same answer.

[
Pause.
]

You’ve asked me these questions millions of times.

HAMM
I love the old questions.

[
With fervour.
]

Ah the old questions, the old answers, there’s nothing like them!

[
Pause.
]

It was I was a father to you.

CLOV
Yes.

[
He looks at Hamm fixedly.
]

You were that to me.

HAMM
My house a home for you.

CLOV
Yes.

[
He looks about him.
]

This was that for me.

HAMM
[
proudly
] But for me [
gesture towards himself
], no father. But for Hamm [
gesture towards surroundings
], no home.

[
Pause.
]

CLOV
I’ll leave you.

HAMM
Did you ever think of one thing?

CLOV
Never.

HAMM
That here we’re down in a hole.

[
Pause.
]

But beyond the hills? Eh? Perhaps it’s still green. Eh?

[
Pause.
]

Flora! Pomona!

[
Ecstatically.
]

Ceres!

[
Pause.
]

Perhaps you won’t need to go very far.

CLOV
I can’t go very far.

[
Pause.
]

I’ll leave you.

HAMM
Is my dog ready?

CLOV
He lacks a leg.

HAMM
Is he silky?

CLOV
He’s a kind of Pomeranian.

HAMM
Go and get him.

CLOV
He lacks a leg.

HAMM
Go and get him!

[
Exit Clov.
]

We’re getting on.

[
Enter Clov holding by one of its three legs a black toy dog.
]

CLOV
Your dogs are here.

[
He hands the dog to Hamm who feels it, fondles it.
]

HAMM
He’s white, isn’t he?

CLOV
Nearly.

HAMM
What do you mean, nearly? Is he white or isn’t he?

CLOV
He isn’t.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
You’ve forgotten the sex.

CLOV
[
vexed
] But he isn’t finished. The sex goes on at the end.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
You haven’t put on his ribbon.

CLOV
[
angrily
] But he isn’t finished, I tell you! First you finish your dog and then you put on his ribbon!

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
Can he stand?

CLOV
I don’t know.

HAMM
Try.

[
He hands the dog to Clov who places it on the ground.
]

Well?

CLOV
Wait!

[
He squats down and tries to get the dog to stand on its three legs, fails, lets it go. The dog falls on its side.
]

HAMM
[
impatiently
] Well?

CLOV
He’s standing.

HAMM
[
groping for the dog
] Where? Where is he?

[
Clov holds up the dog in a standing position.
]

CLOV
There.

[
He takes Hamm’s hand and guides it towards the dog’s head.
]

HAMM
[
his hand on the dog’s head
] Is he gazing at me?

CLOV
Yes.

HAMM
[
proudly
] As if he were asking me to take him for a walk?

CLOV
If you like.

HAMM
[
as before
] Or as if he were begging me for a bone.

[
He withdraws his hand.
]

Leave him like that, standing there imploring me.

[
Clov straightens up. The dog falls on its side.
]

CLOV
I’ll leave you.

HAMM
Have you had your visions?

CLOV
Less.

HAMM
Is Mother Pegg’s light on?

CLOV
Light! How could anyone’s light be on?

HAMM
Extinguished!

CLOV
Naturally it’s extinguished. If it’s not on it’s extinguished.

HAMM
No, I mean Mother Pegg.

CLOV
But naturally she’s extinguished!

[
Pause.
]

What’s the matter with you today?

HAMM
I’m taking my course.

[
Pause.
]

Is she buried?

CLOV
Buried! Who would have buried her?

HAMM
You.

CLOV
Me! Haven’t I enough to do without burying people?

HAMM
But you’ll bury me.

CLOV
No I won’t bury you.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
She was bonny once, like a flower of the field.

[
With reminiscent leer.
]

And a great one for the men!

CLOV
We too were bonny—once. It’s a rare thing not to have been bonny—once.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
Go and get the gaff.

[
Clov goes to door, halts.
]

CLOV
Do this, do that, and I do it. I never refuse. Why?

HAMM
You’re not able to.

CLOV
Soon I won’t do it any more.

HAMM
You won’t be able to any more.

[
Exit Clov.
]

Ah the creatures, the creatures, everything has to be explained to them.

[
Enter Clov with gaff.
]

CLOV
Here’s your gaff. Stick it up.

[
He gives the gaff to Hamm who, wielding it like a puntpole, tries to move his chair.
]

HAMM
Did I move?

CLOV
No.

[
Hamm throws down the gaff.
]

HAMM
Go and get the oilcan.

CLOV
What for?

HAMM
To oil the castors.

CLOV
I oiled them yesterday.

HAMM
Yesterday! What does that mean? Yesterday!

CLOV
[
violently
] That means that bloody awful day, long ago, before this bloody awful day. I use the words you taught me. If they don’t mean anything any more, teach me others. Or let me be silent.

[
Pause.
]

HAMM
I once knew a madman who thought the end of the world had come. He was a painter—and engraver. I had a great fondness for him. I used to go and see him, in the asylum. I’d take him by the hand and drag him to the window. Look! There! All that rising corn! And there! Look! The sails of the herring fleet! All that loveliness!

[
Pause.
]

He’d snatch away his hand and go back into his corner.

Appalled. All he had seen was ashes.

[
Pause.
]