Emmerson's Heart (21 page)

And that was a sight I never forgot either. I have seen her drenched in the rain before and damn near lost my mind then
, too. But that night, that sight of her in that cute little bra and that….

Gritting my teeth, I sucked in as much as I could
as I watched my very own brother dig his hands into her cotton garments and pull out a pair of dark blue panties. Good lord, how my breath just escaped me when I saw those.

“Hey, Emmer! I can bring you….” Turning around with the panties and a pair of fresh washed jeans, Marc’s eyes narrowed on me. His jaw tightened as he covered her panties up with the jeans as if he were hiding them from me. Like I said, I was the one who knew that girl from the
inside out. I knew what she wore. I knew what she liked without having to ask her. “What?”

“You’re not taking her anywhere.” Reaching out, I stumbled as I went for her clothing. Marc pulled away as his hand caught my chest
, trying to steady me. “Put her clothes down. You have no business touching her things.”

“It is noon and you are drunk already? Come on, Paul. Get your shit together.” Shaking his head, he sat the clothing on the edge of her bed and picked up the next pair of jeans. Folding them, he smoothed the legs to take out what wrinkles were there before they could set in. “I’m taking her back with me. She can’t cope with you being here.”

“You are not taking her away from me.” Regaining my balance, I lifted my right fist and waited. If I had to fight him for her, I would. I would take him down in a heartbeat. No one messes with my Emmerson. No one.

“You have done nothing but bring her down, Paul. My god! You have said things to her and about her that absolutely killed her inside. Really?” The hatred in his eyes backed off as he ran a hand over his face. “Really, Paul? You want to fight me for picking up the pieces of that girl you single handed shattered?” His lips pressed tight
together as he glanced at the door, making sure Emmy wasn’t there to witness this. What was he afraid of? Her seeing me fighting my own brother because I didn’t want her to leave me? Oh, that wasn’t a bad thing. I wanted her to know what I would do for her. I needed her to know what I did because of her and so I could have her in my life somewhat. God, she needed to know the truth before I never had the chance to tell her.

Screw respect.

Screw that promise.

Screw him!

I was telling her everything. I had to. Emmy needed to know the truth and I was telling her today. Like hell she was going to leave with my brother. No, she needed to be there at the ranch with me. Right with me.

“You hurt that girl enough. I was there. I had to pick those pieces up after you destroyed her at Thanksgiving. Back off now before you really send her over the edge. She doesn’t need you pushing her deeper into that depression, Paul. You’ve done enough.” Folding the last of her jeans, he piled them by the large duffle bag and let out his breath. “I was there to see how bad she was
after losing dad. I was there to see her fight to breathe, Paul. I was there….”

“We were stuck back here and you know that! I would have been….”

“You were probably drunker than shit, Paul. You’re only kidding yourself.” Those raging browns of his were swirling and I could tell he wanted to fight me back, but he resisted. “They called me into that room when they figured she wasn’t going to make it. I watched her….I watched her practically take her last breath while thinking you regretted saving her. I had to watch that, Paul. Her face so bruised, stitched up, but I knew she wasn’t fighting like she should have been because of you. She was giving up because of the pain YOU inflicted on her.” His hand came up, with his finger pointing into my chest. “I will not almost lose her again because of you. The longer that girl stays here, the longer you will make her give up fighting for her life. Stay the hell away from her. Leave her alone.”

“Don’t you dare….” Just as I went to hit him, he shoved me back into the dresser. Her cell phone fell off
, landing down by my feet. “Don’t tell me that I won’t have anything to do with her. You don’t know anything….”

“Screw you, Paul!” Reaching down, Marc snatched it up before I could get it. Holding it up, his eyes changed back to the screen as he checked through it for something. What was he doing looking at her phone anyway? That was her phone. At least I had enough respect for her not to go through her damn phone. “You leave her alone. And I mean it. We are all done with your attitude
toward her. I am done seeing you hurt her over and over. I’m taking her home with me to get her away from you. The longer she stays here, the more you abuse her heart, and the more you bring her into depression.”

“You don’t know that girl like I do.”

“Then why do you insist on treating her like that? Stay away from her, Paul. I want her to try to cope with dad’s death without being reminded of what she did day after day. She still hasn’t gathered that the accident wasn’t her fault. She still says she killed him. No.” Slipping the phone in his pocket, he cursed. “You drove her away, Paul. You sent her away. She didn’t want to come back here because of what you said to her. And when that girl talks to me about what her father did, I can see that what that man did to her doesn’t affect her like what you said to her does, I have to do something.”

“I’m going to talk to her….”

“Stay the hell away from her!” His fist came up so fast, I hadn’t a chance to block. He struck me in the cheek, knocking me backward. If I was sober, I would have felt it a lot more, but hell, I was already drunk and I couldn’t fight anyway. He knew that. That was the only reason why I didn’t go after him. I couldn’t go after him for the simple fact I would have nearly beat him to death as my dad did to her father all those years ago. When it came to Emmerson, I would fight to death for her. Always have and always will. “Do her a favor and stay the hell away from her. Let her cope with Dad’s death first. She needs to, and you need to stay away from her.”

“Like hell you are taking her away from me.” Shoving into him, I walked out
to storm back into the kitchen. Ben was at the counter eating the apples in the basket. Ah, hell. I forgot to lock the screen door. “Come on, you pain in the ass. She’s leaving us, so let’s just go.”

Grabbing his halter, I managed to get him back out the door before my mom would catch him in the house again. That was all I needed now with Emmer leaving. Ben was the last thing I had of her.

“Hey, you dropped your phone.” Marc let the screen door slap behind him as he tossed my cell over to me. Catching it, I let go of Ben’s halter and slipped it back into my pocket. When he shoved me, it must have fallen out and I didn’t realize it. But who cared now? I didn’t. The only reason why I would need one was to be there for Emmy, if she ever called anyway.

There were so many nights I sat looking at my phone
, wishing she would call, but not once. Her name never came up on the screen. It was like I didn’t exist to her any more. And I didn’t blame her one bit. Not at all. I just wish she knew how much pain I caused myself by doing what I had to do in order to even see her around. If she thought it hurt her…..She should have seen what I did to myself.

“Marc?” Emmy’s voice came through the screen door painfully whiny. Not only was she hurting physically, but mentally and in her heart,
and I did that all to her. I caused her all that pain and I would never forgive myself for doing that to her. “I would like to say bye to…”

“He’s in town, Emmy. We need to get on the road.” His eyes shot a warning to me. I knew what he was doing. He wanted me gone so Emmy didn’t have to see me again.

Maybe I should just give her that. If she was that torn up over everything, I had to at least give her something. Maybe I needed to just let her go to Marc so she could stand a chance at life again. And it wasn’t like he wouldn’t ever be back. I would be able to see Emmer when he came back for a visit. He would have to bring her home.

“Why does he hate me that much?” Her voice cracked hard and the screen door slapped
, telling me that Marc went in for the rescue. I should have knocked him out when I had the chance. I would love to hear what he was telling her. I would love be there when she found out the truth of why I had to push her away. The devastation alone would damn near kill her, but at least she would know the truth, right?     

Chapter
22

****Past****

Emmerson             

It had to be hot this year before damn school would start again, just scorching. In two weeks, my senior year would begin and Jackson was uptight about it already. The whole prom thing and crap like that. I told him that he didn’t have to worry about it. I could
n’t care less about damn prom. Having to get back to school meant more time away from the ranch and it really sucked. I hated every time that I had left the ranch. I hated leaving Ben and Paul for hours like that.

Lying
on the floor, waiting for it to be time to give Connie and Jackson their anniversary gift was getting to me. Waking up cranky this morning was even getting to me. Everything…I mean everything had kept me from the barn today, from Ben today. I just wanted to get out and go have some fun. But, nope. Not yet. We had to give them their gift.
Yes, just give it to them and let’s get it over with already.

Maybe the whole irritableness had come from the anniversary, a special and happy day. The cake, the ice
cream, the happiness. Jackson and Connie had done a damn good job at reminding me that special occasions were not about seeing how much pain that one person could put on another, but that would always be with me. Still, I hated April First, my birthday, because that was the day that my dad always made sure that I remembered the pain I brought into his life. Christmas and Thanksgiving, those were getting a little easier, but when I was alone in my room afterward, that was when those holidays hit the most.

“When is Marc supposed to be here?” Rob stretched out on the couch as he flipped through the screens of his phone. On the other end of the couch was Will who was paging through the latest western horse magazine. Paul hadn’t come in yet, but I imagine
d he was down in the barn, the very place that I would rather be right now. Lucky him.

“I can go and meet him down by the road. Give him a little welcome home
,” I offered, trying to get an escape. Ben was outside waiting for me and feeling the separation already. By now, we would have gotten in a few rides and some talks, but nope. I was stuck in the damn house waiting. And how I just wanted to go and put my tank top back on and go somewhere, anywhere as long as it was with Ben and Paul. Knowing that Marc was going to be there, I had decided on a yellow tee shirt; being still a little conscience about wearing a tank in front of him.

Marc was the one that I had very little time with. Surely, he overlooked the reminders of the pain that I had endured before being saved into this family, but still, I just didn’t feel all that comfortable around him yet. There was just something about him
; something that I liked, but also made me a little shy around him. It was probably because he was the one that was the most like Paul. Their looks were closer and he had the same wonderful heart as my best friend did.

“You just stay here.” Jackson let out a yawn
, resting his head back on his favorite recliner. Not having to do anything today, he was taking advantage of it. And when he had taken advantage of the relaxation, it meant that I had to also. Like the overprotective dad that he was, he had to keep an eye on me and I loved him for it. I just wanted this to get over with!

“Connie gets to be out in the kitchen doing what she likes and this is supposed to be her day
, too.” Once again, I had to make a fuss, get Jackson riled up. I loved when he got riled up only because it meant that I had to bring him back down. Yeah, boredom was my downfall.

“She has to watch for Marc because we have to keep the screen door locked, Emmer.” His dark eyes opened as they fixed on me. It was coming. At least this didn’t have to be that boring. The fight was brewing. I
could see that in his eyes and I was ready for it. I was ready to have some sort of fun.

“There’s no reason why we have to lock the screen door. It’s just to keep me in here and you know it. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had it rigged with an alarm.”

“I do, as a matter of fact, and you know damn well why we have to lock every door in this house, Emmer.” His thick brows tightened as those eyes narrowed on me, but I wasn’t going to admit to it. I wasn’t going to admit that it was really my fault why we had to keep all the doors locked. He was going to have to say it to make me happy, to make this wait worth it.

“Oh, horse feathers. You know that we don’t.”

“I can show you the reason. I still have the video on my phone,” Rob offered. Yes! Thank you, Rob for saving that video! That would get Jackson going in a heartbeat. Jumping up to my hands and knees, I crawled over to him and waited for him to replay the horror.

“Don’t you dare! Emmy, you know damn well why those doors have to be locked.” Sitting up, his feet pressed the footrest down and he was just about there. He was just about ready to come unstitched. His eyes focused on Rob
, waiting for the dinner experience. “And you! I told you to get rid of that video!”

“I can’t,
Dad. It’s saved.” Innocently, he bit back his smirk as he pressed the button.

“Rob!” His deep voice barreled out of him
, shooting across the living room.

“I need to see why we have to live in a locked facility, Jackson. This is all news to me.” Any second now. Three….Two….One….

“You know why we have to lock the doors!” Coming off the chair so fast, it had knocked into the wall and made a loud thunk. His arm wrapped around my waist as he lifted me off the floor as if I were a bag of feed. Tossing me over his shoulder, he turned around and around fast while holding the back of my thighs tightly as he spun.

“No we don’t! Ben’s family!” Laughing, I gripped his red and black checked collared shirt
, hanging on for dear life. Damn, I just admitted to it a little more. Shoot!

“Horses are not allowed in the house!” Stopping, he let out a laugh as he tipped me back over his shoulder
and caught me in his long arms. “You are staying right here and you are going to like it.”

“Unlock the door so I can escape!” Crying out as he tickled me, I wiggled, but he only held me tighter.

“No, because Ben is not coming in for cake!”

“Then you shouldn’t have carrots in it!” Okay, so that was dumb, but he laughed harder.

“Emmy! That’s still no excuse!” His eyes shifted up to Connie who was holding the camera as she smiled. “I don’t know what I am going to do with her.”

“Well, I am sure that you are going to do absolutely nothing about it.” Rolling her eyes, she smirked as she handed the camera over to Rob. “When it comes to her, you just back down like a kitten.”
             

“Sure do, woman!” Putting me down, he finally let his hold go as he slammed his hands down on his hips.

“I’ll call down to the barn and tell Paul to come up. Marc should be here any minute.” Her soft eyes tightened as she looked over at me. “Ben in the house is not a funny matter. Because of him, we have to constantly lock the doors and he’s always on the porch. What do you have to say about that?”

“First of all,” holding my hands up in my defense, I smiled
, “we should really think about building a heavier porch so that he doesn’t go through it. And secondly, I will go get Paul.” Just as I shot away from Jackson, his arm came around my waist, catching me just as quick as he could. Throwing me back over his shoulder, he held my legs tightly as I struggled playfully.

“Oh, no you don’t. You won’t come back.”

“You’re damn right!” Giving up, I just let my arms hang down his back along with my long blonde hair.
Oh, I have a few split ends….hmmm….Maybe I should give in and get a trim.
Then again, it would be shorter and I didn’t like it shorter.

“Emmerson!” The growl came out of Jackson as he looked over at Rob. “Are you the one teaching my little girl these cuss words?”

“Pretty sure that I am not the one always saying that word.” Huffing, he held the phone up; hiding behind the little screen and trying not to laugh.

“Hello?” Marc’s voice drifted through the air as he knocked again. “I’m here.”

“Oh, shoot.” Connie jumped up and ran to the kitchen to release the latch. “Come in, come in.”

“Why is the door locked?” The clatter and the bang of the door echoed as Connie hurried to lock the door back up before Ben had grabbed hold of it.

I belted out a laugh, earning a slap on the backside from Jackson. “What was that for?”

“That is not funny!”

“Yes it is! Watch the video!”

“Emmy!” Jackson growled as he dropped me down onto his recliner and then proceeded to block me in by sitting in front of me
and pinning me to the back. “How was your drive, Marc?”

“Not bad. I just hadn’t expected to be locked out of my parents’ house when I got here.” His soft brown eyes shifted over to me as the little smile came to his face. “Did you know that there is a horse loose and he’s on the porch?”

“Yes, we know, Marc.” Connie reached up, kissing his cheek. “We all know.”

“That’s Ben. He’s my dog.” Wrapping my arms around Jackson’s waist, I rested my chin on his shoulder
, trying to look as innocent as possible. “Rob has the video still.”

“Enough with the video. We do not need to relive that night.” Connie’s eyes turned to me
to pass me a stern look. No, it wasn’t funny that Ben had decided to take that night of all of them to join us for dinner. Pastor Don still laughed about it to this day when Connie dragged me to church with her when she thought I needed a little guidance.

“Well, that dog just about took me out when I tried getting in the door.” His hand raked through his short dark hair as he nodded a hello to his two younger brothers. “How are you guys?”

“What can we say? Never a dull moment around here.” Rob hit the play button and passed Marc the phone. The screaming about a horse in the house came through, making Jackson pin me back more. Jackson’s muscles tightened as he glared across at Rob.

“You need to send me this. The guys at the office will never believe me.” Laughing, Marc glanced over a
t me which brought the heat into my cheeks. How could he have not heard about that already? It was a long time ago now. Maybe everyone was so afraid to bring it up in front of Connie and Jackson when I wasn’t there to keep him at bay. No matter what they had said, it was still funny. I still laughed about it.

“We need to call down to Paul.” Connie snatched the phone from Marc and pointed it at Rob before giving it back. “This will be deleted.”

“Yeah, sure, Mom.” Locking the device, he shoved it into his pocket before plopping back into the cushions.

“I will just go get him.” Slipping away from Jackson’s hold, I jumped over the side of the chair
and feeling my ankle being brushed by his hand. Hell, he hadn’t caught me. I was in the clear. Rob nor Will would take me down. And Connie, I don’t think that she would even catch me. As I had cleared the coffee table, I caught Marc’s sneaker and stumbled.

“Stop her!” Jackson hissed
, causing Marc to come after me. Catching me around the waist just as I got to the kitchen door, he lifted me up and hauled me right back to the living room.

“That’s not fair! I was just doing my family honor and going to get the oldest brother!” Wiggling away from him, I started for the door again
. Marc caught me again.

“Once you break free, we will never see you until ten and you know it.” Jackson argued back, the playfulness washing away.

“Ben is waiting…I mean, Paul is probably hungry and I could just go down and get him…”

“Too Late, Emmer. I’m already here.” Paul called from the kitchen door. “Ben!” The thud of the boots matched the thud of the hooves as Ben tried to get to the door first. “Just wait. She will be out in a minute.”

“Paul! I was supposed to come down and get you!” Trying to wiggle away from Marc was a hopeless cause. Holding me around the waist, he locked his hands together and kept me from my escape. It actually surprised me that he would even do that. I mean, our connection hadn’t been there like it had with Paul, Rob, or Will. Then again, Paul was the only one besides Jackson that would ever contain me. A few times, Paul had even pinned me to the floor to keep me from running off, but that usually ended up in a laughing match anyway. This, though, was different. A lot different.

Connie grumbled as she went to the kitchen to flip the latch. Just as the door opened, Paul cussed as the clumping of Ben’s hooves started the struggle.

“Get me a damn apple or something!” Grunting and groaning, the slip of his boots echoed through the house and Jackson turned his glare to me. It was a hard glare that had always made Rob and Will stop what they were doing, but not me. I was immune to it. He was a pussy cat anyway. “Ben, enough! Stop!”

“I’m going to have to get some more when I go to town
,” Connie grumbled.

“Go, go get it.” Paul threw the apple out in the yard
, causing Ben’s hooves to pound on the solid wood porch. Letting out a loud breath, he slammed the door shut and latched it. “Ugh, I told you two not to lock her in the house. Just let her go, but no. See what you two get.”

“He can’t just come in the house, Paul.” Connie led him into the house and I could see the frustration in her face as she looked at Marc.