Read Emma's Deliverance Online
Authors: Susan Vance
He was quiet for what seemed like a long time, but when he finally looked up at her,
he was smiling. “Whatever’s going on, I’ll help you face it,” he said reaching for her hand. “Let me be the calm you seek.”
“
Jason, I don’t think you understand what I’m trying to say. I might have deep rooted emotional problems. Who knows what might happen. It scares me so much to think I might be schizophrenic,” she said with tears running down her face.
“
What, oh come on, you’re not schizophrenic. You’re not. You’re perfectly normal. Do you hear voices or something? Has anyone told you that you’re schizophrenic?”
“
No. And I don’t hear voices, but I sure see things. It’s been getting worse every day. Lately I see this man everywhere. He even came to my flower shop and wanted a job. Oh, I told you that already, didn’t I? Well, he blows kisses at me from the park across from my doctor’s office and I see him driving behind me on the street. I know it sounds crazy and it is, but I swear he seems so real. I pretend he isn’t there because they all tell me he isn’t real.”
Jason took her in his arms. He wiped the tears from her eyes and he kissed her tenderly.
“Emma, I know you think I will run, but it only makes me want you more. I will protect you. When did you see him last?”
“
What difference does it make?” she cried. “I saw him today as we were getting in your car to come up here. He was watching us. I pretended not to see him. I tried not to look at him, but it’s so hard. It scares me so much.”
“
If this becomes more of a problem then we will deal with it. I’m not saying I’ll be able to help you, but I have to confess I am falling for you and I’m not letting you go. Sorry, but you’re stuck with me,” he said kissing her gently. “I’m in love with you and I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter Fifteen
Monday morning at the flower shop just wasn
’t the same without Becky. Marie came in early to help Emma get ready for Sam. Jason called to say he would bring lunch for them and Marie told him to go ahead, saying she would tell Emma later. Jason brought over salads and bread. Marie was delighted. She loved bread more than anything.
“
How about we have dinner tonight?” Jason asked when they were done eating. “We could have Chinese again.”
“
Sure. Dinner sounds good, but let’s get Mexican if you don’t mind? I’m feeling like cheese enchiladas.”
She was smiling and Jason looked relieved.
“Okay, young lady, Via La Enchilada,” he said with a laugh.
Emma looked at Marie and giggled,
“Please, don’t even ask,” she said shrugging her shoulders.
She was laughing as Jason gave her hug.
“I’ll leave you two alone. I have work to do.” Marie smiled, giving Emma a wink.
As soon as Marie left Emma
’s office Jason took her in his arms and kissed her. She responded and he kissed her again.
“
Does your door have a lock?” he teased.
“
As a matter of fact it does. Why do you ask?” she said teasing him back.
“
Is it safe?”
Emma
locked the door. Standing in front of her desk, she unbuttoned her blouse and sent it flying across the room. She tore at her jeans and stepped out of them and her underwear at the same time. She sat down on the edge of her desk. Jason’s mouth was still wide open as she motioned for him to come closer. Jason was a little more careful as he climbed out of his uniform. He never took his eyes off of Emma as he laid his clothes neatly on a chair. As he reached for her, she boldly laid back on the desk knocking things to the floor. Her heart was pounding as she reached for him.
She couldn
’t have imagined this any better. She was in love and he had said he loved her too. She pictured their lives together and she drew it out to be a perfect picture. This would be the start of a happy life for both of them, together. She could have stayed behind this locked door all day with him.
“
Okay, young lady,” he said when they were done. “I have to get back to the station. See you tonight.” He kissed her quickly and walked to the door. “Thanks for dessert. It was as sweet as I could have imagined.”
* * *
Becky showed up for work after school and relieved Marie, who went home.
That evening at closing time Emma said,
“Go on, Becky, I’ll be fine. I’ll leave in ten minutes. I have a few things to do first. See you tomorrow, kiddo.”
“
Good night, see you tomorrow,” Becky said as she headed out the door towards her sister’s car.
Emma noticed Mr. Elliot standing across the street, b
ut this time he really did look more like the stranger. She was confused. Was it her neighbor or was she imagining she was seeing the stranger? He was looking right at her as she was locking the door and he blew her a kiss. Emma wanted to open the door and yell at him to go away, but she didn’t know if he was real or not.
What she did know is that if it were Mr. Elliot he wouldn’t have blown her a kiss, so it had to be her imagination once again.
Will this ever end? He looks so real. It has to end sometime. I can’t keep going on like this. I just can’t. Oh God, don’t let me be crazy.
“Please don’t let me be crazy,” she cried.
All the way home Emma kept a watch in her mirrors, but there was no stranger. She took a hot shower and found that she was very calm now. She decided not to tell Jason
about seeing the stranger again. She just wanted to get on with her life and be in love.
She
dressed for dinner and fed Sam while she waited for Jason to arrive. She gave Sam a pat on the head and then went into the living room. Emma heard Jason at the door and she ran to let him in. She was feeling brave and confident and she reached for him, practically dragging him in. She gave him her best sexy look as she reached to lock the door.
“
Does this mean we aren’t having dinner tonight?” he asked raising an eyebrow.
“
Well, maybe later, but right now I’m hungry for you,” she said kissing him and pulling him towards the bedroom.
They emerged hours later, hungry.
“
I’ll go get dinner, unless you feel like going out,” Jason said.
“
Why don’t we stay in tonight. We can watch a movie if that’s okay with you?”
“
Sure, sounds fun. Call and order the food, I’ll be back soon. Do you want extra salsa? Tell them if you do.” He paused at the door. “Hey, I love you.” With that, he was out the door and on his way to the Mexican restaurant to pick up their food.
Emma picked up the phone and called the restaurant. She ordered their food and hung up the phone. The door opened behind her.
“Jason?” she called out, turning to see what he forgot.
“
Nope. It isn’t your precious, Jason.”
Emma froze. It was the stranger and he was in her apartment.
How could that be,
she wondered.
He’s not real. Or is he?
She’d heard him open the door. Was her imagination now audible as well? Emma felt sick as the truth hit her. “I knew you were real,” she screamed. “I knew it. Get out. Get out of here. What do you want from me? Leave me alone.”
Emma was terrified. She backed up as he moved towards her. He reached for her and caught some of her hair in his hand and pulled at it. She screamed, but he put his hand on her mouth and muffled her cries. She felt sick at the smell of his hand over her mouth. His breath was putrid. His face was just inches from hers and he was spitting as he was yelling at her.
“Shut up. Shut up before I kill you,” he growled. “I should have killed you when I had the chance. If I had only seen you hiding in that closet I would have killed you first—you little bitch. If you tell anyone about me I’ll come back and kill you. Then I’ll kill everyone that means anything to you, starting with your precious, Jason. What a little whore you’ve turned out to be. I see how he comes here and stays late. I know what you are doing, you little whore. Stop telling people you’ve seen me. I can watch you all I want, but I swear, if you tell anyone—you’re dead. I’ll be watching you.” He pulled her hair another time and shoved her against the wall.
Emma was frozen. She couldn
’t move. He began to laugh then he let her go. He took his hand and ran it down the front of her chest. Emma felt ill. She thought she would throw up at his touch. As his hand came across her breast he pinched it. Emma thought he was going to rape her. She let out another scream and he put his hand back over her mouth.
“
Shut up, Emma. I can kill you right here if I wanted to.”
He took his hand away from her mouth and she fell silent. Her legs were trembling and she felt as if she would fall to the floor. He reached for her hair again, pulling out several clumps then he shoved her onto the couch.
“Did that feel real,” he scoffed. “Did my touch feel real, you little whore? How could I be real? You can’t tell the difference anymore, can you? I’ll be close by. Just go to your mind and find me, but remember the next time you call for me I will have you. You will be my whore, forever.”
Then as suddenly as he
’d appeared, he turned and left, locking the door and closing it behind him. Emma sat there trembling. She stood up and the room began to spin and she fell to the floor. She began to whimper softly.
Twenty minutes later Jason was back. He knocked on the door and when Emma didn
’t open it he knocked harder. He could hear her inside sobbing.
“
Emma, open the door. For God’s sake, open this door. Emma? Emma?” Jason couldn’t wait any longer. He tried to bust down the door. He kicked it wildly and rammed it with his body. It wouldn’t budge. “Emma?” he screamed. “Emma?”
Finally, after one more kick he busted through the door. Emma was huddled in the corner on the floor. She was sobbing and shaking her head from side to side. She was pulling at her hair. He could see a few clumps of hair on the floor.
He ran to her, but when he tried picking her up she started screaming. She was waving her arms madly as she tried to protect herself.
“
Emma, what happened? Oh, God, Emma, talk to me,” he begged.
Emma looked at him
, then slowly calmed down. She put her arms around his neck and held on. She was trembling and crying. “He was here. Oh, Jason, he was in my apartment. He’s going to kill me.”
“
Who was here? Honey, what happened?”
“
Jason, can’t you hear me? That man was here. He walked right through my door and said he was going to kill me and kill my family.”
“
Emma, the door was locked. You must have locked it behind me when I left. Honey, I had to kick down your door. Did you fall asleep on the couch? How did he get in? What do you mean kill your family? Your family is fine, they’re just fine.”
Emma was too confused and upset. She was shaking and she knew Jason didn
’t know what to do. “Call my mother. Oh, God, Jason I’m sorry. Just call my mom,” she cried.
Jason laid her down on the sofa and she put her head on the pillow. She put her hands to her head and sighed. Her head was pounding. Her heart was beating so fast she was having trouble breathing. Jason tried to comfort her, but there wasn
’t anything he could do but hold her. She became very quiet. She felt as if the room was spinning. She tried to hold on. She looked at Jason and tried so hard to hold on, but she felt oddly detached, somehow. As if she were viewing this and not actually participating. She felt like she was floating and couldn’t feel Jason’s arms around her anymore. Jason looked at her face, but she wasn’t there and she looked so helpless. She simply stared out into nothing.
Chapter Sixteen
Thanksgiving was right around the corner. Emma left the clinic and had been living at her parent’s home for several weeks. She had not spoken since that night at her apartment two months earlier. Dr. Williams agreed with the family that Emma could go home. They felt that she needed to be around them all the time. They had assured Dr. Williams someone would be with her every minute. They took turns sitting with her and talking. They would tell her of their day and read the paper to her. Marilyn read a chapter of a book to Emma every morning. It was one of Emma’s favorites, but not a muscle would she move. No reaction at all. She ate when fed, but that was about all.
Marilyn had called Carol, the former owner of the flower shop and explained that Emma was very ill. Carol agreed to manage the shop until the first of the year.
Jason had visited with her every day while she was at the clinic and he called her every evening to say good night. Someone would hold the phone to her ear, but it wasn’t clear whether she even heard him. She sat there without any expression on her face. Her eyes would flutter from time to time and she seemed to get agitated, but for the most part she remained locked away inside her frightened mind. Now that she was at her parent’s home Jason spent more time with her each evening. He had taken Sam to his house to be with Rosie, but promised Emma he would bring him to see her soon. Emma didn’t seem to care one way or another. The family was extremely concerned that Emma was slipping even further away. During this time Jason was becoming close with whom he had hoped would someday become his in-laws.
“
Jason,” Jody said, “we need to do something. I know we can snap her out of this. I have always been able to help her in the past, but this was the worst episode she’s ever had. This has gone on way too long. We need to do something.”
“
What do you mean the worst? How many times has this happened?”
“
A few times, but it isn’t like she would get hysterical and see people that aren’t there all the time. When she was a child she would have nightmares. This stranger would always be in her nightmares. Sometimes she would say she saw him, but none of us ever did. We knew it was her imagination. When she would have the nightmares I would be able to comfort her and not only would she calm down she wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. We have to do something. This is too pitiful. Poor, Emma.”
“
Jody, the night it happened I told Emma I loved her as I walked out the door to pick up some take-out. I was teasing her, but I had planned on coming back and telling her how much I really did care. I love her. I want to have a life with her. I’m scared I’ve lost her. Do you think that had anything to do with her breakdown? Maybe I scared her. Maybe I did this to her.”
“
That isn’t what upset her. Something had to have happened between the time you left and when you got back. Do you think she got a phone call after you left? This just doesn’t make sense to me. She was happier than she has ever been. She was dreaming of the day you told her you loved her. She told me before that she had fallen in love with you and that she hoped you felt the same way. I thought you two talked about your love at the cabin? Emma told me you said you loved her. Telling her again would only have made her happy. That wouldn’t have upset her at all. Something else must have happened. Have you told her since that night? I think she can hear us. She just can’t respond for some reason.”
“
I did tell her that I loved her at the cabin and no, I have been afraid to bring it up with her while she is like this. I wasn’t sure if it would upset her. I’m so frustrated over this. I want her to get better, but to be honest, I’m scared. If she is really this ill, then maybe a relationship isn’t what’s best for her or what she needs right now. I’m willing to wait.”
“
Don’t wait. My sister needs you in her life.”
“
I don’t want to rush her. My God, she is so fragile. What if she never recovers? I pray every night she will get better. What must be going on in her mind? I’ll do whatever I can to help her, anything. She means the world to me. Maybe if I bring Sam over tomorrow. Maybe that will move her. Will that be okay with your mom if I bring over Emma’s cat?”
“
Are you kidding? Mom wants whatever’s best for Emma. Sure, bring him over tomorrow evening.” She hesitated for a moment. “Jason, has Emma told you much about her childhood?”
“
No, she hasn’t told me very much at all. When we first met she told me that her parents were killed in a car accident. Of course I know different now. When we were at the cabin she told me the truth. She told me about her seeing this guy, but that it was her imagination. She told me about the nightmares and how her parents really died. What more can you tell me?”
“
She was so small when she came to live with us. We’re the same age, you know, but she was really tiny. Mom said she just needed a lot of love and some good home cooked food. She was sickly and had nightmares every night. I was the only one that could make her stop crying in the middle of the night. Well, not really at first because she was so attached to my mom, but after a few years we became really close. We were best friends all through school. I dated a lot, but Emma didn’t. She was so cute, all the boys asked her out, but she hardly ever accepted. When she had the nightmares I would climb into bed with her and talk with her. It was weird, really. She would always cry and then go into some kind of a trance just like she is now, but I would say, ‘Shhh, no one will harm you while I am here. Shhh, it’s just a bad dream.’ I would tell her that Mommy was coming to save her. Then she would come out of it and go back to sleep. I would stay with her the rest of the night. It always worked before. I wish I could have been there that night.”
“
I tried to comfort her,” Jason replied. “You should have seen her. She was hysterical. She kept saying that he had been there and he was going to kill her. She was pulling at her hair and screaming. She was scared to death. There were clumps of her hair that she had pulled out on the floor.”
“
That doesn’t sound like anything she’s gone through before. This seems different to me. Did you tell Mom about this?”
“
No one ever asked me what Emma said that night. What difference does it make? She was beyond comforting. I tried. I really tried. Maybe if you had been there she would have responded to you, but we have a close relationship now. She should have responded to me. Don’t you think so?” he asked sounding defeated and blaming himself.
“
I didn’t mean that you were incapable of helping her, Jason. I know how much she means to you. We need to work together on this. Don’t start blaming yourself now, please.”
“
You’re right. Honestly, I don’t know what to do for her.”
“
We’ll find a way, Jason. We’ll find a way.”
* * *
Jason spent Thanksgiving with his mother, but went to the Jenkins house for dessert. He was torn between being with Emma and spending Thanksgiving with his family. David was home from Germany and John came with his new girlfriend. His sister, Karen was home from school and it had been awhile since they were all home together. He wished they could have met Emma, but it just wasn’t going to happen this Thanksgiving. Brenda knew what her son was going through and was supportive. She had urged him to go be with Emma.
“
Go on, Honey, we’ll still be up when you get back. Don’t worry. Believe me, we all understand. This is going to turn out okay. I have a good feeling about this. Emma is a wonderful person and I really think she will work through this. I love you. We all love you. I’m so proud of you for sticking this out with her. We wouldn’t blame you if you needed to walk away. Emma is a lucky woman to have your heart,” she said with pride in her eyes.
* * *
Emma was sitting in the family room with Sam on her lap. As Jason walked into the room he noticed Emma stroking Sam’s neck. Sam was purring loudly and Emma continued to pet her cat. Sam had been there several days and spent every moment with Emma. She had not responded when Jason brought Sam over the other day so this was a huge improvement.
“
Hi, Emma. Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetheart. I’m glad to see you’re hanging out with Sam. I’ve come for pumpkin pie and whipped cream,” he said bending down to kiss her on the cheek.
Emma began to stroke Sam
’s hair with more vigor. She seemed to be more alert. Jason looked around the room and then tried another approach. Emma seemed to react a little when he said pie and whipped cream, which gave him an idea.
“
Emma, Honey, look at me.” He bent down and made eye contact with her. “Emma, I need you to get well.” He leaned forward and whispered, “I have strawberries and whipped cream at my house, I thought we could enjoy some, later. Emma, look at me,” he begged. “I have strawberries and whipped cream. I’m longing to dip the berries in the cream and feed them to you. Emma, do you hear me? I love you. I’m going to wait until you are well. I love you,” he whispered again.
“
I love you too, Jason —whipped cream, you say?” Her voice was raspy and just above a whisper, but loud enough to be heard by her mother.
Marilyn came rushing in from the kitchen.
“Emma?” she cried in disbelief.
Jody came running in with Louie in her arms.
“Look, Louie, Auntie Em has risen,” she said lifting Louie up to see his aunt.
Emma tried to get up from the chair, but she was weak. She fell back into her seat. She was confused. She looked around the room and then back to Jason. She looked pleadingly to her mother and held out her arms.
It was obvious Emma had no idea what had transpired over the last few months. She tried to stand again, Jason caught her this time.
“
I feel hungry. Did someone say something about pumpkin pie and whipped cream?”
Smiling, Jason touched her arm.
“It was me, but I was talking about strawberries,” he whispered raising that eye brow Emma loved so much.
Emma had a little
extra color come to her face. Marilyn looked at Howard and shook her head. She threw her arms up in the air and went to the kitchen to cut the pie. Alone in the kitchen, Marilyn called Dr. Williams and asked his advice. He offered to come over to help and Marilyn agreed it would be better if he did. The rest of the evening was difficult and Emma was still terribly confused. She had lost two months of her life and couldn’t remember a single day. As soon as she saw the doctor she started to cry. Just seeing him there alarmed her. She finally calmed down and accepted his help. Jason never left her side throughout the whole evening. Dr. Williams explained that he wanted to get started right way with Emma and Howard agreed to bring her to see him as soon as she was able. Emma was impressed that he would come to the house on Thanksgiving. She was starting to change her mind about him. She thought he was really kind and she knew he was trying to help her.
* * *
Several weeks later while Emma was seeing the doctor, she actually remembered some of that night and realized how dangerous her imagination could be. She was glad to have Jason in her life and was thankful he didn’t run away when she became such a raving lunatic. Emma stayed at her parent’s home and Jason came over every chance he could. He had some time off and wanted to take Emma to the cabin for three days. He knew he needed to ask her parents about it before he asked Emma. They called Dr. William and they all agreed she needed this time away with Jason. They asked him to call them right away if something, anything should happen. Jason agreed and assured them she would be fine and he wouldn’t leave her alone for a second. Emma was excited to be going away.