EMIT (THE EMIT SAGA) (22 page)

“
You have a point. What happened with you and Daniel?”

I had to tell
her something so that she’d stop talking about him.

“
He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him either.” Humiliated enough over everything that the agents and Daniel had heard, I wasn’t going to let them think that I was home pining away for him. Why give those agents anything else to laugh about?

I
talked Mom into letting Lily and I go to Eden’s party, saying that I felt fine and really needed to go out. She said yes without arguing and probably thought Daniel was the cause of my sudden illness.

Lily came over after work and a
s I dressed, she peppered me with questions. Thinking about my predicament was one thing, trying to explain it was quite another.

“I’
ll tell you everything when we get back from the party. I really want to go have fun and not think about Daniel right now. Okay?”

“Fine
, but I want the whole story later.”

I had every intention of telling her
, but now I was waffling again. What was wrong with me?

The party was
at Eden’s apartment on 78th Street and Riverside Drive.

“Call us when it’s over
. We’ll walk over with Amber and get you,” she offered because at night it’s pretty desolate around there.

“Don’t worry.
I’ll get someone to walk us or I’ll get a cab.” If she only knew that I was totally safe since I had protection from the NSA 24/7.

On our way over, Lily told me that she’d been talking to Chad a lot and wondered if he’d be at the party. I said I only knew that Daphne and Grace would be there and she was disappointed.

When we arrived, we found that the party was on the roof of Eden’s building. It was a Hawaiian-themed luau and Deidre placed leis around our necks as we walked through the door. I looked at the Hudson River and saw boats bobbing up and down at the Boat Basin. The music blared from an iPod and there were about thirty kids there already.

I
spotted Eden and we walked over.

“
Hi, cool party.”

“
Thanks. It’s really a going away party,” she said. When she saw my confused expression, she added, “I’m moving. My dad got transferred to California.”

“I’d love to move to California,” said Lily.
“Where in California?

“Pacific Palisades,” she answered and made a face.

I was so surprised. “I’ll miss you. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to that time I was coming to your house, but I got upset and canceled. Every time I talk about it, I cry. I don’t want to move, but I have no choice. Soooooo.” She raised her hands in the air. “I figured I’d throw a party.”

“When are you leaving? Can we get together before you go?”

“Sure, I’ll be here until the end of August. My mom’s going out next week to go house hunting
, but I’m not leaving until I’m forced to,” she said and I saw her eyes glisten.

I hugged her and said, “I’m so sorry. Would your parents let you stay and finish the senior year? Maybe at
my house if my parents said yes.”

“I
already asked them that and they said absolutely not.”

“Sorry, Eden,” said Li
ly.

Paul sidled over and asked Eden to dance
. What was Paul going to do without her? They had been inseparable. Eden’s parents had always complained about the amount of time that Paul and Eden spent together, so the move was probably a blessing for them.

I spotted
Daphne and Grace dancing with some boys that I didn’t know. They must’ve been Paul’s friends from his school. Eden’s parents and two couples were sitting at a table talking.

Lily brightened up when she
saw Chad in the distance.

“Chad’s here, I’m so happy,”

As we walked over, I noticed he was talking to Billy, Carla and Vanessa. Ugh! I forgot that Eden and Carla were friends. Once when I asked Eden, “Why?” She said that Carla wasn’t that bad and I dropped the discussion. Our friendship was strained already at that point and I wasn’t going to allow Carla to cause more friction.

I grabbed Lily’s arm to stop her and said, “I’m not going over there.”

Lily stopped dead in her tracks when she saw them. Deidre was walking by, so I asked how her summer was going.

“It’s been great. I’m interning at a theatre company. It’s so much fun,” Deidre said.
She was really involved in the drama department at school.

I saw Chad looking around and when he spotted us, he left the group and bee-lined right for Lily. I whispered, “Chad’s coming.”

“Hi! What a surprise! I thought Paige might be here, but I never expected to see you.”

While they were deep in conversation, Billy
suddenly appeared and joined my conversation with Deidre. When she saw four new people walk in, she left to give them leis.

Alone now, Billy whispered in my ear,
“So, I heard you broke Reed’s heart.”

I
must have turned purple from embarrassment. I nervously glanced around to see if Carla was nearby or if anyone heard him. Someone told him something, but Reed and I never dated, so it was ridiculous.

“
No, I didn’t,” I quickly countered.

“Yes, you did,” Billy said knowingly, amused by my discomfort.

“We’re just friends,” I said.

“Reed likes you, but he thinks you might be dating somebody.” Billy watched for my reaction. Reed told Billy! How crazy?

Sighing, I said, “No, I’m not dating anyone.” I felt depressed
saying that, but it was true. Since Daniel didn’t like me, I was definitely single. Billy seemed pleased by my answer and I really hoped that Daniel was wrong about Billy being an admirer. I wasn’t in the mood for him, besides they were moving to California.

As we continued talking, Carla and Vanessa walked by and totally pretended that I didn’t exist. They asked Billy where the restroom was and walked away cackling.
I thought I heard them say “Bustedcup.” That was only one of the derogatory versions of Buttercup that they had made up and they’d whisper them whenever they passed me.

Lily was talking to Chad all night and
it seemed that whenever I turned around, Billy was always nearby. He was a great distraction and I forgot about the spy drama for a while.

Chad and Billy offered to walk us home at the end of the party
, so I called Mom to tell her we were on our way home and had escorts.

When we exited the building, Carla and Vanessa were getting into a cab and seeing us called out, “Bye Billy, bye Chad.”

Lily and I were invisible, which was actually a good thing.

Lily yelled out, “Bye girls!” Carla and Vanessa glared at her.

Chad looked at me and smiled like he knew why his brother’s ex-girlfriend hated me. He copied Lily and said, “Bye girls.” Lily laughed.

We started walking home and
I wondered where the NSA agents were hiding. Had they eavesdropped on the party? What was the point in that? The goons weren’t going to be there.

It started
drizzling and Billy put his arm around me to keep me dry. It actually felt nice to have someone be that attentive. Billy said he was excited about the California move, but wouldn’t get out there until Thanksgiving. He had job at a Wall Street firm this summer and then would go right to Boston University from here.

When we got to my
building, Billy turned and looked at me, “You want to catch a movie one night?”

Why not? W
e could be friends. “Sure.”

Billy s
miled, “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He leaned forward and gave me a kiss right on my lips. It was a fast kiss and I was really taken by surprise.

In the elevator, Lily stared at me and sai
d, “I saw Billy kiss you. What’s going on?”

I shrugged.
“I don’t know. That kiss was weird. I just want to be friends.”

In my bedroom,
Lily sat on the bed and demanded that I finally tell her what was wrong. Now that it was time to talk, I worried about Lily’s safety and changed my mind about divulging Daniel’s spying activities. I told Lily to come in the bathroom while I washed my face. I didn’t want them listening to my conversation and Daniel said the bathrooms weren’t bugged.

Once inside, I told Lily that Daniel said he only wanted to be friends
. After a litany of questions, Lily believed me and stopped nagging.

“Y
ou only want to be friends with Reed and Billy, so you should understand. I liked Daniel, but he seemed so old for his age,” she said as an afterthought.

“He did,” I agreed. Maybe that’s because he probably isn’t, I thought.

“Maybe it’s because he lost his parents or having gone to boarding school,” Lily suggested.

I shrug
ged and said in a British accent, “I don’t know, but the British are very proper.”

Lily
laughed and then tried mimicking me but failed horribly. We jumped on my bed. I got on my computer to peek on Facebook and there was a friend request from Billy. I accepted and we lurked his wall and photos.

Lily said that she
really liked Chad, but they lived so far apart. “I don’t believe that saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ I think the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ statement makes more sense.”

“I don’t believe that. If it’s meant to be, distance or time won’t change true feelings. There are stories of people that fell in love at a young age, broke up, got
back together later in life. They said that they hadn’t stopped thinking of each other. I believe in true love.”

“You’re such a romantic.
You’ve watched too many Disney shows.”

“Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today’s events.”
Einstein

Since I was babysitting for Martin tonight, I wasn’t able to work, so Lily left alone.

Around lunchtime, Billy called and
asked if I wanted to catch a movie the next night. Billy would be going back to college soon anyway, so what would be the harm? Even though his kiss worried me, I said, “Sure. Is Eden coming too?” Really hoping that she was joining us.

“She’s busy. It’s just you and me.” It might have been a mis
take to say yes.

M
om was working from home and I hid in my room to do some English homework. I read my last required John Keats poem called “This Living Hand.”

THIS LIVING HAND

This living hand, now warm and capable
Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold
And in the icy silence of the tomb,
So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights
That thou wouldst wish thine own heart dry of blood
So in my veins red life might stream again,
And thou be conscience-calmed--see here it is--
I hold it towards you.

At first, I thought it was about Keats living on through his written word. It was very apropos that time was a dominant theme. To see death all around and be ill at a young age, Keats focused on life and immortality.

When it was time to head out to Martin’s in New Jersey, I was relieved that the garage was in the basement of the building and that the elevator went straight there so that no one would see us leave.
Getting out of the city and away from everything was exactly what I needed.

I looked around
and didn’t see any dark cars, but they heard where I was going, so I wasn’t fooling anybody. If they followed me to Long Island, two hours away, they’d follow me over the George Washington Bridge to Martin’s.

I was looking forward to playing with
Anna. Many Saturday nights, I babysat Luke, a five year old, who lived down the hall. Lucia Vardin and John Costra were his parents. Luke had a full-time nanny during the week, but on weekends, I was one of the babysitters who filled in.

Lucia and Luke were spending the summer at their weekend place in Woodstock. I really missed them.
Our floor had been quiet without Luke’s lively outbursts and mad dashes to the elevator. He was absolutely adorable!

Lucia was a
Panamanian-born singer/actress, with dark, long, curly hair and was very exotic looking. She dressed like a rock and roller most of the time. I loved her music and listened to her CD’s almost daily. Her band preformed all around the city and I saw many of her shows at Joe’s Pub. She was vivacious and fun to be around. Many days, I would visit her and pour out my silly insecurities. She politely listened and encouraged me to look inward for the answers. Very spiritual, Lucia was into yoga and Buddhism. Incense burned in her apartment and once she dragged me to one of her yoga classes. I wondered if she would have liked Daniel.